New chapter! Hope you enjoy! ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf!
Amnesiphobia: The fear of forgetting.
Stiles woke up feeling fine. He wasn't even sure that last night had happened. The voice hadn't made an appearance or spoke again, but the name was ringing in his ears like a symphony. Rael. Rael.
He got through the first half of school with minimal distractions, but his mind felt more cloudy than usual. Whether the voice was real or his imagination trying to tell him something, it had a point. And especially after that kiss, Stiles couldn't get Derek out of his head for more than five minutes before he was back.
And Stiles was fucking confused. So what? He had feelings for Derek. He was still… ya know, straight, for the most part. So even if he had feelings for Derek, who said he was willing to act on them? Sure, he had practically handed over his first kiss to him on a silver platter, and it was awesome, but who said he wanted any more than that?
More importantly, did Derek want any more than that? He said he was sure about his sexuality which was… surprising. Stiles surely hadn't pegged Derek as bisexual, especially not after he had shown so much disinterest when Danny repeatedly checked him out. But still, besides liking Stiles a little more than the others, he hadn't shown any romantic interest aside from violently pushing Stiles against a wall and tonguing him. Which was nice, but it didn't mean anything.
Scott must have noticed something up at lunch because he kept whispering with Alison and then glancing his way. Stiles rolled his eyes and finally leaned across the table.
"What?" He hissed.
Scott looked at him for a second, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Why? Do I still have Dereks blood on me? I tried to wash it off, but you know, you werewolves have persistent cells."
"No, you've just been… quiet." Alison says, offering him a small smile.
"Also you kind of had a panic attack and left the room during Chemistry." Scott says quickly. Alison obviously elbows him in the side.
Stiles blinks at them, "What?"
"Uh, yeah dude. You mumbled something and just stood up and left and didn't come back. Don't you remember?"
Stiles stared straight ahead. He had assumed Chemistry passed in his usual haze like most of school, but now that he was focusing, he DIDN'T remember Chemistry. He didn't even remember arriving. He remembered English before it, and specifically remembered hitting Danny during gym, but he didn't remember Chemistry.
"Yeah, I remember," He lied, "Sorry. I was kinda dizzy and tired from last night, I think, so I went to the nurses office."
Scott looked relieved but Alison almost didn't look convinced. Fuck. Now he was having amnesia and lying to his friends. What the actual hell was going on? He had a feeling he knew.
"Excuse me." He said and stood up quickly, rushing out of the lunch room. He slammed into the bathroom and made sure it was empty. He glanced around, "Hello?"
No answer. He took a deep breath.
"Rael? Are you there?"
Depends entirely on who's asking.
Stiles gritted his teeth, but was somewhat relieved to have a reply, "Why don't I remember Chemistry? What did you do?"
Relax. I got tired of listening to that man preach his science, so I went on a… stroll. But seeing as how you let me take over your mind and your body, I'd say you were already pretty mentally checked out as well.
"You can't just take a walk in my body, this isn't Revenge of the Bodysnatchers. Who are you?"
I told you, I'm Rael.
"Fucking fascinating. Why are you here? Where are you? WHAT are you?"
No answer. The silence stretched on and Stiles found anger boiling up inside of him. He hated this, feeling controlled or used. It was pissing him off to have no answers. He leaned against the sink and stared into the mirror. Suddenly, the overwhelming power of being paralyzed came over him again and he stared into his reflection as his body became overpowered. He watched an unfamiliar sneer stretch over his face slowly, and his pupils grew until they had engulfed his entire eyes with blackness.
He was horrified. He was seeing everything, but he couldn't speak or move. His body moved his neck and smiled more, like it was so nice to have a roomy body. Then lifted his hands and looked down at them, moving his fingers. Soon, it began to overcome Stiles, the knowledge of exactly what was happening. Fear hit him like a brick wall.
This isn't me, holy shit. This is someone else. This is evil.
And his fear started to overcome him. It started to spread out over his body, and he realized he was using it to feel. He spread it like fingers, and it HURT, regaining feeling in his chest, spreading through each nerve in the most painful way. The sneer on this creatures face faded. And suddenly there was fear in its eyes. It shook its head and let out a grumbling groan, tumbling backwards and hitting the wall. Stiles felt that, the pain. Tingling and reaching, he tried harder. Used his fear to regain control.
The creature gripped its face, HIS face, making the most ungodly breathing screech that was definitely not human. It just fueled his fear more. It fell to the floor, and Stiles vaguely felt the sensation of solid tile on his knees. It screeched louder, but Stiles could sort of hear his screams hidden inside of them. The creature doubled forward and vomited. Black smoke came from him and he screamed as loud as he could, some of it escaping. Then, the smoke sucked back into him with so much power it nearly stood him back up. He got to his feet, and he was definitely in control of them now.
He stumbled forward, hands on sink. It's painful, it's tingling through him like a pulse but he's almost in power. The black in his eyes is still there, his mouth open in gasping breathes. Stiles musters all his strength to lift up his arm and plunge it into the mirror.
It shatters, and Stiles falls to the floor, flat on his back. And he feels so much pain in his body, mostly in his hand now, but he's completely alone and in control again.
So he lets out a blood curdling scream.
Derek knew something was wrong when he startled awake around noon. He hadn't slept well after last night's events and eventually stayed up working out until late and definitely, definitely, not thinking about Stiles.
But when he finally was shaken out of his sleep, he was hearing something. Distance, familiar, like an echo. Familiar, yet drowned out by something else. Like a… screech? Yeah, that's the word. He honed in his hearing but it didn't get much better. Suddenly, it stopped for a few seconds. He listened carefully, and then heard an unmistakable sound.
"Stiles." He breathed heavily. His wolf senses came to him full blown and he was out the door before he could even think straight. The scream kept going, with minimal stops and pauses. He wondered if Stiles was still screaming or if it was just an echo. He ignored his car and went into wolf mode, despite every part of him saying it was a bad idea. He ran fast through the woods. He had to get to Stiles.
A few minutes later at full speed, he was staring at the school from where he stood across the street. He calmed down his senses and listened. He couldn't hear anything anymore. And it's not like he could just go waltzing into a high school like a creepy pervert. He pulled out his phone and dialed Scott.
It went straight to voicemail.
"Fuck," he growled aloud and hung up. He opened up a new text (and he hated texting) and sent it.
To: Scott
From: Derek
What the hell is going on? I heard Stiles scream from three miles away.
He sent it and folded his arms, glaring at the school. His every instinct said to just go inside, but he wasn't an idiot. Still, he was impatient. He just wanted to find out what was going on. Suddenly, he heard the familiar sound of an ambulance and police cars coming.
Fuck it.
He took off across the street. It looked like it was lunch or something because lots of teenagers were out and about. He weaved himself between the cars and up the stairs.
Once inside, he honed his sense of smell. It was easier to sniff down Scott than Stiles, since Scott was a hormonal lovey mess he pretty much left his scent all over everything and Derek knew it pretty well. He darted through the hall, only getting a few weird looks from people who recognized him. He smelled Scott close, and saw a group of people gathered around a bathroom door muttering. He shoved past them without really being nice about it.
Scott and Alison and Jackson were all gathered around Stiles on the floor. A teacher stood nearby, she looked worried and was probably the one who called 911. Derek rather forcefully moved Scott out of the way and knelt down next to Stiles.
He was hyperventilating and looked like he was sweating and convulsing. His eyes were darting around but he didn't seem like he was seeing anyone.
"He's having a Panic Attack." Derek said calmly, "Has this happened before? Is it because of his ADHD?"
Scott looked pale, "No, I mean, not that I know of. He left at lunch and then we heard him screaming a few minutes later."
"How did you even know to come?" Jackson asked Derek looking annoyed by the whole situation.
"I heard him scream…" His voice trailed off as he smelled something in the air. Blood. He finally saw Stiles hand resting by his knee, covered in blood and definitely needing stitches. He looked up at the shattered mirror and almost missed the weird look Scott was giving him.
"You heard him scream? Where were you?"
"Three fucking miles away. God, check your phone sometimes." Derek growled. He looked at Alison, who seemed to irritate him the least around here, "What the hell happened?"
"He's been really weird," Alison shared a look with Scott, "Really quiet. And he randomly left class today and then looked like he didn't even remember leaving. Then he went to the bathroom and…" She trailed off and looked down over Stiles.
Stiles was making a whining gasping sound. Derek took his bleeding hand and rested the other hand on his chest.
"Stiles, it's okay. We're here." His voice is soothing. Sometimes he doesn't even know how it's coming out of him when he talks to Stiles.
Stiles keeps hyperventilating but his eyes fix on Derek, "Don't let them put me under." He gasps.
"What?"
"No medicine. Don't let me fall asleep."
Derek looks between Scott and the others.
"Why?" Scott asks. But Stiles just begins screaming again, and this time it's loud and ear splitting and makes Derek want to explode from the chest outward.
Suddenly there are sirens outside. Derek holds Stiles hands and watching him convulse and scream until paramedics come into the room and hoists him onto a stretcher. He follows them outside, suddenly feeling oddly like a protective dog that follows its master around. And the thought makes him really unhappy.
There's a single ambulance and a police car outside. The police isn't Stiles' dad, and Derek is oddly glad. He hears Scott and Alison behind him, though Jackson seems to have vanished. He also hasn't seen any of his pack since he arrived. They were probably still licking their wounds after Derek yelled at them for being weak and useless at yesterdays fight, especially Erica who ran off.
As they loaded Stiles onto the ambulance, Derek turned around towards a very concerned Alison and a very suspicious looking Scott.
"Just go back to what you're doing, and I'll follow him to the hospital and keep an eye on him. I'll let you know what happens."
Scott frowns, "Did you wolf out to get here?"
Derek flushes, "Uh, yeah."
He doesn't say anything else, just turns away. Derek turns to get on the ambulance with Stiles, giving one of the paramedics a glare when he tries to stop him. Needless to say, he gets on.
Stiles is to be released from the hospital that night after ten stitches on his hand and some serious psychological questioning from anyone who has seen him that day.
He's really embarrassed. In reality, screaming and having a meltdown wasn't the best way to react to ANY situation, even if you've just been possessed by some… evil thing probably still living inside of you. Though its not like he can control anything when he has an attack. The worst part is, he hasn't had a panic attack in eight years, not since his mom died. And though he never punched a mirror as a kid, he remembered them being horrible like just like that.
He was just freaking out. The only intelligible thought he had was I can't fall asleep, I can't go unconscious or it will take over again. So when he heard Derek's voice, that's what he told him.
Derek did the best he could. Stiles vaguely remembered Derek basically looking like he might rip the Paramedics hand off when he tried to drug Stiles, so Stiles stayed un-drugged. But when the stitches were in and the attack passed, a doctor finally convinced Derek that Stiles needed sleep so he let him.
When Stiles woke up three hours later, he nearly started to panic again. Not quite sure where he was or what had happened, still terrified from those black eyes and the horrific pain. He was gasping and then felt warmth on his hand. He jerked to find Derek staring at him with those overly-wide eyes filled with concern.
"I'm fine." Stiles said. He stared down at Dereks hand grabbing his, "Where am I?"
"The hospital."
"Oh, right. Should have been obvious, it smells overly clean in here."
Derek rolled his eyes and tried to let go, but Stiles was gripping his hand tight. He was trying to make sure everything was still real. So Derek left it.
"What the hell happened, Stiles? You broke a mirror and you were freaking out."
Stiles paled, "Uh, you saw that? Me freaking out, I mean."
"Yeah, I did."
They were silent. Stiles was just about ready to tell Derek everything, about the something weird inside of him driving him and possessing him. And then he heard the voice again.
Please don't tell him I am here. Please.
It made Stiles jump and nearly piss himself. But it didn't sound the same. Instead of snarky it sounded overly sad. Pleading. Begging. Stiles didn't care, it was evil.
Please. I won't possess you anymore. But he will make me leave, and I cannot leave. I have to stay, I have to stay.
He grimaced and looked at Derek who was watching him expectedly. "I, um… I don't know. It just sort of happens sometimes."
Derek frowned and it was more like the glare that Stiles was used to, "Panic attacks usually have triggers, Stiles."
Stiles shrugged, "I guess I'm just the abnormal freak then." It came out a little more serious than he meant for it to sound.
Dereks face softened and he sighed, letting go of Stiles hand.
"How long have you been here?" Stiles eyed his stitches and rubbed them lightly with his thumb. They ached.
"Since you were admitted, so like, four hours." Derek waved it off like it was nothing. Stiles jaw dropped. Derek had stayed with him. In the Hospital. For four hours.
"So, schools out?"
"Yes."
"Why isn't Scott here?"
Derek laughed out loud, and it made Stiles' stomach flutter. He grinned wickedly down at him, "You aren't allowed any visitors."
"Aaand you snuck in anyway. Awesome." Stiles rolled his eyes, "Wait, why am I not allowed any visitors?"
"Your dads orders." Derek smirked. Stiles groaned.
"Seriously…" Stiles frowns, "The overprotective dad thing is getting old."
"He loves you. Be grateful you have him."
Stiles stared at Dereks strong back and he just looked sad. Stiles hadn't often stopped to think about the fact Derek had literally no one these days. He had his pack, but, they may as well have been a bunch of obnoxious idiot puppies. And Stiles was suddenly hyper-aware of the fact he really, really wanted to be there for Derek. And then his heart started beating fast.
Derek must have heard the increase, because he turned to face him. "Stiles."
"Derek."
He shifted awkwardly, a hilarious sight on the large guy, "I wanted to apologize, for yesterday. I was… in pain, and grateful towards you. Adrenaline, and all that. I didn't really stop to ask if you were okay with an advance like that…"
"I was." It spills out of Stiles' mouth quickly and Derek looked surprised.
"…Okay."
"And," Stiles gulped, "I would be okay with further advances, in the future."
Derek laughed. Stiles really likes when he makes Derek laugh. But then the Alphas eyes narrow.
"Your dad just pulled up."
"Awesome." Stiles groaned sarcastically. Mostly because that meant Derek would have to leave. Suddenly though, Derek walked over to his bed and knelt close to his face. He pressed his forehead to Stiles' and looking into his eyes.
"Let's try to avoid panic attacks in the future, okay?" He grumbled.
"Okay." Stiles choked. His face was probably way too red to even believe.
And then he kissed him. It was soft, affectionate. Stiles closed his eyes even after Derek pulled away, and when he opened them, he was long gone.
Surprisingly, Stiles' dad doesn't pressure him into saying why he had the attack. He mostly fusses over it in general, saying he wishes his work would have let him be here immediately. Stiles just told him he was fine, over and over and over. And then he was released.
His dad asked him if he wanted any dinner, and Stiles said he was just tired. Which wasn't even a lie, he WAS tired. But mostly, he was eager to talk to the thing inside his head. If it was going to stay there, then there was going to need to be some rules.
He closed the door behind him and turned off the light. He frowned and whispered out, "Rael?"
Stiles.
He frowned. Good to know he was on a first name basis with some… thing. "I didn't tell Derek. And I won't yet if you answer my questions." Silence. And then;
Fine.
"First, what are you?"
I am a Demon. To you, I am darkness or smoke. I have no real physical form, and I needed a strong vessel to hold my body on this earth.
Demon. Huh. Stiles actually had some knowledge on Demons, "Wait, don't demons usually TAKE OVER their vessels?"
The vessel I found was too strong. Your mind rejects me. I can only take over for moments at a time.
Stiles smirked, "So why do you stay?"
…I cannot leave yet. My physical body was too weak. If I leave, I will die.
"Believe it or not, I'm not totally opposed to that idea. Why can't I tell Derek? What does he know about you?"
Derek Hale is well versed in cures. He can remove me from your body. Of course, for you, it will be slow and painful.
"Then Derek wouldn't do it." Stiles gritted his teeth.
A soft laugh. You are a fool, Stiles. Derek is a monster, and monsters kill other monsters like me.
"You're an idiot. Derek may be a wolf, but he isn't a monster."
There is much you don't know, unfortunately.
"I can get rid of you too, can't I?" The silence answers his question, "Earlier, I almost got you out of me. I was almost strong enough."
Yes, you can. It is an excruciatingly painful process and may leave your insides physically scarred. I can also leave on my own, willingly. And that has no pain, for you.
"Oh yeah?" Stiles sat down on his bed, "So what will it take to make you leave?"
I am weak. I need time to recuperate. I am also my strongest under the full moon next week. If you wish, I will leave your body then.
Stiles laughed bitterly. Today sucked, "It's always the fucking full moon. Alright, fine. You can stay here but only until the full moon. Only one more question."
Yes?
"How long have you been here?"
Two months.
"Could you have left last full moon?"
You said only one more question. But yes, I could have. Maybe not for long, but maybe I like watching you live your life Stiles.
He felt awkward and violated at that.
Oh, is Derek the only one allowed to violate you?
"Get out of my head. I'm going to sleep."
Goodnight Stiles.
He was going to start counting the minutes until the full moon.
