Chapter 2

Three Wizards walk into a Drag Club

It was Friday night, and the streets of Miami were on fire. Not literally. But enough that Albus in his most flamboyant purple robes fit right in when he, Ludo and Barty showed up at the Bird Cage. Ludo had a stupid grin on his face, he was shit face drunk. And Barty looked like he'd rather be somewhere else instead.

As the three men entered the club (no one carded them, as they all appeared to be one of the million senior citizens living in Miami) a waitress called out to Dumbledore "Hey, your usual Al?" Barty and Ludo gave Dumbledore an odd look.

"Uh, yes, and a table for my friends and I Candy." yelled back Albus. The masculine looking waitress in the purple thong pointed them towards an empty booth. The three wizards took their seats.

"Been here before, huh?" asked Barty.

"It's a nice place to visit in the winter time. The weather is warm, and the company good. So piss off Barty." Said Albus.

Candy walked over to the table with Albus' drink. "What can I get you boys to drink?"

"Firewiskey." They both said at the same time.

"What's that?" asked the waitress who was in need of a shave.

"Um, what my friends meant to say is the Black Lable Southern Comfort hard." said Albus. Candy nodded in understanding and took off. "You have to know how to order in the muggle world gentlemen."

"We're in the muggle world?" exclaimed Ludo. "You're shitting me Albus! What are you on, and where can I get some?"

"I assure you gentlemen, we are very much in the muggle world. Have neither of you two ever been to America before?" They both shook their heads negatively. Albus sighed and took a sip of his very fruity looking beverage. "Well, in America, there is no magical government." Both men gasped. "Magicals are policed by those who police the super powered beings that live in this country. For some reason, muggles in the last few decades have begun to show powers that rival and sometimes even out power wizards. Whether this is an evolution of magic, or something else, who knows? Anyway, all of the colonies, I mean the United States is muggle. It's why it doesn't belong to the ICW."

"Which is an interesting point when it comes to Potter, and his status in all of this." said Barty.

"Very true. We shall just have to wait and see what Harry has to say to us when he shows up." said Albus.

At that very second, a voice came over the loud speaker. "Ladies and Gentlemen, gather your attention around the main stage as your are going to be treated by a show from The Magician." Instantly the entire place broke out into loud applause, cheers of excitement and a few loud sayings were yelled. The lights dimmed, and a spotlight hit an empty stage.

Then he was there. In all black, a simple turtle neck with slacks. He raven hair hung down his pale white face. His skin seemed to almost sparkle in the light. There was silence in the room. Everybody was waiting for this man to move, to act, to do something.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. And whatever the hell Julio is. I am The Magician. And it will be my pleasure to entertain you this evening. But first, I am going to need a volunteer." The Magician looked out over the crowd. "Well, Holy shit in a flaming paper bag, do my eyes decieve me? Is that, all the way from Scottland, Albus More Middle Names then Notches in the Bedpost Dumbledore? Ladies and Gentlemen, we should feel honored." The Magician snapped his fingers and a spotlight shown down on Albus. "We have here the re incarnation of Merlin. I know, you may be thinking Santa if he went on Attkins, but no, he's Merlin. Major magic badass. Hey Al, wanna come up here and help me give these fine people a show?"

"I'd be delighted to Harry. I honestly didn't think I would ever see you in this club. Do you have something to tell me Mr. Potter?" Albus got up and walked towards the stage.

"If it's an after school special where little Harry opens up to grandpa Al about being different you're after, then you're in for a disappointment. I happen to be the only breeder who's ever performer here. I'm just that damn good." Harry waved his hand in a large arc around the stage, and a large, kinky looking torture device appeared. It was a giant X. Harry winked at Albus and pushed him towards the device. He strapped him so his arms and legs where spread out, and strapped to bars. A ballgag appeared in Albus' mouth. Ludo fell out of his seat laughing his ass off. Barty wasn't far behind. They had each finished three shots.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, do not try performing this at home. It won't work. Believe me. Ol' Stumpy down at the park can attest to that." This doesn't sound good thought Albus.

All of the sudden, dark techno music started played and the giant X started to raise off of the ground. Ten feet up it stopped.

Albus felt a funny sensation in his hips and shoulders. He was barely able to look down and notice that his legs were no longer attached to his body. His body parts seemed to be moving away from each other as the X made itself bigger. The crowd was going cracy. The poles broke off, and each limb was separated on it's own piece of metal. The individual pieces started to spin in place. Harry motioned, and the limbs went flying out over and around the crowd before coming back and circling around Albus' head.

What a peculiar sight. thought Albus to himself.

"Now that I have two arms and two legs, I can go buy something so expenseive, I have to pay an arm and a leg." No one laughed at the joke. "Ah, come on guys, I'm funny!" Exclaimed Harry.

A man with a mustache and a very pink shirt yelled out "No you're not, but we love you anyway." Everyone cheered at that. Harry gave a pouting look and flung a hand towards Dumbledore. His limps flew back to their original places, and Albus dropped to the ground out of his robes, naked as the day his was born. The tattoo on his left cheek of a phoenix got some whistles. It was Miami after all.

"Have a seat Al. I think I can handle the rest of the show on my own." said Harry. Instantly Albus found himself sitting back at his seat, in clothes, and with a full fruity drink. Harry still stood on stage. "And now for my next trick, I shall pull a rabbit out of my ass." And he did.

An hour later found Harry sitting at the table with three very drunk wizards. "So Al, what's up?" asked Harry.

"Quite a bit Mr. Potter." Said Dumbledore. "But first, I'd like to know why we are at this particular institution?"

"Actually, I want to know why Mr. Potter looks like he's an adult." said Ludo Bagman. Everyone just looked at him. "What? I was under the impression he was 14." Ludo was hoping Harry would be an underdog going into this competition. He'd be able to get better odds on him.

"I spend time in other dimensions where time flows differently. I'm biologically 17." said Harry. "And as to this place, I performed here about a year ago due to a lost bet, damn Loki. I got to talking to the owner about wizards and he mentioned you Al. You really need to learn to keep your mouth shut when you're drunk if you intend on keeping a secret. Personally, I think it's stupid to hide like that. It's almost like you're ashamed of yourself Al."

"You know that's not what it's about. And you know as well as I do that muggles in this country aren't as ignorant. They just don't care."

"True. Anyway, I kept this place in mind if I ever needed to meet up with you. After you called, I got ahold of Amand and booked this place for tonight. He loves me. Him and Albert both. Albert hates you Albus. You shouldn't have compared him to your brother and his love of goats." Albus looked a little ashamed. He really couldn't hold his booze like he could a century ago. "Alright gentlemen, let's get down to business."

"Quite right." said Barty. He was all business, even when drunk as a skunk. "As representatives from the British Ministry of Magic we have come to inform you Mr. Potter that your name has been chosen by the Goblet of Fire for the Tri Wizard Tournement."

"I am aware. I did a little bit of research after Al called me. By the way, how you feeling from that Al?"

"Ok, why?"

"Um, never mind. Getting back on topic, as I'm sure Al has informed you it is within my abilities to decline your invitation."

"Yes, he has. But we were hoping to avoid and trouble, and get you to participate. We can provide you…." Barty was interrupted by Harry.

"I already know what I want in order to participate. And my provisions are mostly to keep the competition fair."

"How so?" asked Dumbldeore. Harry sighed.

"The tournament is the Tri Wizard Tournament, so I assume then that all the headmasters of the schools had a hand in deciding the tasks?" the three older men nodded their heads. "Which makes perfect sense, as they have the best scope of what their students are capable of. You don't know what I'm capable of. I ask for two things, one from the Ministry and one from Al for my participation. From the Ministry, I want my own 'Headmaster' on the panel of judges and for the tasks to be re evaluated."

"That seems fair actually." Said Barty.

"And what do you want from me Harry?" asked Albus.

"I want it Al. At some point in the near future, I want to take it from you. At your discretion of course."

"But why Harry? I know you well enough to know it would do you no good. You're beyond that."

"I know. But I'm honestly curious about what happens when you unite all three." Albus' eyes widened.

"You have the other two?" he whispered.

"Yeah, and if you hadn't been such a wanker, you would have been able to get your hands on all three. But you suck, and I don't."

"Fine Harry. At some point in the near future, I shall arrange for us to have a duel."

"Thanks Al."

"Mr. Potter, who do you have in mind to act as your headmaster? I assume someone you have studied under? Someone the British Ministry officially recognizes?" said Barty. He wanted to make sure everything would fly back home. He knew that no American would be accepted on the panel, hence the recognition.

"Yes, yes, yes. One of my teacher would be more then happy to serve as my 'headmaster'. It would give his genius something to occupy it's time. And he's officially recognized by your Ministry."

"Who?"

"Victor Von Doom, Lord of Latveria"

A/N: I thought the first chapter was a little short, so I wanted to do something longer.

Someone pointed out that they had never seen Albus written the way I am. I'm just trying to keep him in character, the wise old headmaster with a shady past, while at the same give him more realistic personality. Also, Albus is the only one who really knows what is going on.

Thoughts?