Chapter II
Disclaimer, A/N: Hey, didn't you read chapter I?
Waking up to rather…emphatic….wailing which would put banshees to shame was not something Vincent had ever experienced before.
He sincerely hoped this was a one-time thing.
Everyone knew Vincent Valentine was a sound sleeper. He'd managed to sleep through at least one war, the town he was in being massacred, the Darkness taking over, and his alarm. It had taken a good hour of pounding to get him out of the coffin he'd decided was comfy to help save the world the last time he'd decided to "take a nap."
Damn, that was some wailing.
Deciding the world was probably going to end again, and wishing it could be done quietly so he could at least sleep through it, Vincent figured he'd better go investigate. He would kill whoever was wailing and the world could rot, he was going back to sleep!
The wailing proved too much. None of his demons were willing to come out and go on a rampage. Pity, they usually would've leapt at the offer. Vincent sighed. It'd be up to him.
So he ended up at Cid's to see if he knew who was screaming. And for Ibuprofen and tea. Earplugs would be nice too. Galien beast wanted purple ones. Chaos wanted red. Hellmasker just wanted some damn earplugs, the color didn't bloody matter.
Pushing the door to the garage open, Vincent snarled. "I hope the world's ending."
Cid, who was currently digging in a large pile of odds and ends Vincent could care less about, tossed a bottle of painkillers in Vincent's direction without looking.
"Take as many as you want, but if you're planning on O.D.ing do it outside."
A snort answered the pilot's speech. Chaos was mildly offended at the thought of pills offing him. Vincent took a handful anyway. He hoped they were illegal.
"Who, may I ask, is making that….wailing?"
"Tifa."
"She finally realized Cloud didn't want her?" Absently Vincent helped himself to a cup of tea.
"Heh, Aeris made a tape of him and Sephiroth going at it like rabbits. Gave her a copy. Been wailing ever since." Cid continued digging.
"Aeris makes porn? Was it any good?" Go to sleep in a coffin and you miss the important things in life…
"Damn good porn, it'd be hard as hell to make bad porn with those two as stars. Course, I got to see the real thing. Was at the coffee shop down the road there a ways. The two of them screwed in front of the Dalmatians. No decency left in the world."
"So who tops? I've always wondered that, with Sephiroth's whole 'puppet' fetish thing I'd think he would but considering Cloud has killed him…"
"They settle it like men! Flip for it. Seph won in the coffee shop, Cloud won in the Underworld. Ah, here they are!" Cid pulled a brightly colored packet out of the large pile of junk. Earplugs. Vincent silently thanked each of his lucky stars individually and by name.
Now he could return to his nap.
He'd been in the middle of a pleasant dream of murdering Lucrecia Cresent with various painful and gruesome methods. Once he finished that dream he'd ask Aeris for a copy of her porn video.
He'd been waiting to see Sephiroth get screwed for a very long time now.
TBC...I think...Review and let me know if you want more!
