Yes, it had probably been Christmas when her head had first deceived her.


"Wormtail agrees with Padfoot and chooses Prong's pumpkin-flavoured snot"- Lily was whipped out of her daze and quickly set her hands, one clutching a knife that held a piece of butter, the other a slice of toast, down from their awkward hovering position in the air near her face.

"Pete, how many times do I have to tell you, you don't have to say everything in map-mode," James responded slightly irritated, filling up his cup with the jug of pumpkin juice that had surely given him the inspiration for his earlier inquiry of would-you-rather. Lily's emerald eyes slowly followed his hands, as one firmly held onto the golden handle, the other securing the small cup, while the liquid poured smoothly, steadily from one container to the next.

"Can I pour you some, Evans?" James Potter, retracing her gaze, asked in a confused tone. Lily's cheeks flushed as she quickly grabbed Marlene's cup, her own untouched and full to the brim with pumpkin juice.

"Um, yeah, sure!" she extended her arm over the table to hand him the goblet, throwing prayers at the enchanted ceiling so that he would not notice the occupied cup in front of her.

"Excuse me young lady," Marlene suddenly turned her body away from her conversation with Dorcas about who they would turn into for a day if they mastered the Polyjuice Potion recipe and towards Lily, "but did you just steal my cup?"

"What?" Lily eyes pleaded with the raven-haired girl who did not seem to notice. The object of Lily's undesired affection looked up confusedly as he poured the orange liquid into the supplied cup.

"That's very unprefect-like behaviour if you ask me Ms. Evans," Marlene tutted with false sternness, a twinkle in her eye, "and, if I may ask, is that your own goblet sitting right in front of you? Is it not good enough for your perfect prefect lips so that you had to kidnap mine?"

James eyes wandered to Lily's filled cup as she nervously mouthed for Marlene to shut up through gritted teeth. Marlene finally caught on as she glanced from her own cup in Potter's hand to Lily's filled one. Her eyes widened.

"Ohh..."

"What?" James inquired uncertainly and stopped pouring mid-air.

"Shut it, Pothead, and pour the lady a drink," Marlene dismissed him while she scooped up Lily's cup and loudly said, "sorry about that, Lils, totally forgot we traded places earlier, thanks for guarding my cup. You're a champ!" Marlene smiled sweetly at the slightly shaken Lily and didn't fail to wink at her before turning back to Dorcas cheerfully, muttering something under her breath that sounded a lot like, "Hopeless".

"Erm, here you go, Evans," Lily's eyes focused on the golden cup in front of her face attached to Potter's extended arm.

"Parched," she breathed out.

"Uh, what now?"

"I'm parched, Potter! What I'm trying to say is that my throat resembles that of a Hungarian Horntail's, seriously needed this, thanks a bunch. You really saved me. I mean my throat. I- Speaking of dragons, I've gotta go," she clumsily stood up, disregarding her unbuttered toast and made off to leave. Potter was now thoroughly confused as he watched the redhead sling her bag over her shoulders.

"Lily, where are you going?" Marlene now focused her attention back on her friend.

"I've got my Magical Creatures exam," Lily stated slightly blank.

"Yes, bean, we all do," Marlene explained to her like she was talking to a three you old who's parents she was trying convince into hiring her as a babysitter. Lily's eyes focused on her.

"Well I'm tired of being late and I've got to set an example for the younger students," Lily affirmed as she made off to leave, then turned back to the table, brightly chattered, "almost forgot this," while leaning over the Gryffindor table to clutch Marlene's newly filled cup and stormed out of the Great Hall.

"She's lost it," Marlene observed cheerfully and watched her friend steer out of the hall with cup in hand, splashing juice onto first year students.

I'm losing it, Lily thought, angry at her heart that wouldn't stop pounding and her head that brought back Potter's confused facial expression that had made his face look all scrunched up and cute. She only now noticed that she had walked outside, apparently subconsciously truly on her way to Magical Creatures, and the warm sun that marked the beginning of a very hot summer's day blinded her. As she held up her hand to function as a shield for her eyes, Lily relaxed and took in the beauty that stretched out in front of her. Only a couple students had chosen to proceed their studying on the plush green lawn in exchange of the stuffy library while the warm wind swished through the Forbidden Forest and the Giant Squid stretched three of his tentacles in the morning air. Even the Whomping Willow didn't bother with causing havoc on a day like today and let a silver tabby cat stretch on one of its broad branches to celebrate the tranquillity of it all. Lily smiled to herself as she took a sip from her goblet to enjoy the cool sweet juice while she walked over to her favourite tree and took a seat underneath it.

As she leaned her back against the trunk and stretched her legs, Lily closed her eyes. Memories came back from that regretful day that had taken place under this one tree and she felt a squirming sensation as she wished she could take it all back. But Lily had admitted it to herself a long time ago; that there really was nothing left to retrieve from the ashes and her friend had become far less than a foe, he was now almost nonexistent in her life.

"It's not your fault," she muttered as she lovingly patted the tree behind her, her eyes still closed. It was the one thing Lily couldn't understand; how her head went from hating Potter's guts with a passion it usually saved for potion making to parading him around in her thoughts on his own little pedestal. Which he didn't even need at his height, Lily thought miserably, and debated if Potter's head added ten or twenty inches. What had made her steer into this mess she was in now?

Maybe it had happened on Halloween after all?


It had been the evening after the Quidditch game, Ravenclaw against Gryffindor, when Lily had gone on prefect's rounds by herself because Remus had been too preoccupied with joining in the Gryffindor Halloween rager that was hosted by the winning team's house. She hadn't been upset with him really. Her roommates had also attempted to convince her to ditch rounds and even though she loved Halloween, she didn't like the beginnings of parties that commenced after Gryffindor won a game. It was just a little too patriotic to handle and had more of a psychotic mob vibe of self obsession, red and gold red and gold! She couldn't handle it. Maybe she was too flower power, or whatever her parents called it, for her own good. Lily rather felt sad at the sight of crushed first years walking back to their respective common rooms with hanging heads and bright face paint when their team lost. It would feel strange to her to bask in a glory she did not even take part in creating. But ultimately she liked a good party, especially on Halloween, and she would join in later, she had told herself.

Lily had walked along a hallway on the third floor near the Transfiguration classroom with her arm held up high to scatter the light of her Lumos charm wide. She hadn't thought this whole patrolling alone act through properly and had suddenly found it all rather creepy, feeling as if someone was watching her in the abandoned corridor.

"Hello?" she had wished her voice hadn't quivered quite as much as she proceeded along slowly and had asked firmer, "Is someone there?"

As she had turned around a corner, her spell had cast a shadow on a dark figure.

"Who's there? Reveal yourself! Homenum Revelio," she had cast the spell and to her astonishment, Severus Snape had stood in front of her.

"Lily. You shouldn't be here," he had said flatly, making her instantly hate him all over again.

"I shouldn't be here? Thanks for the input, really, but you do realize that I'm on rounds right? Meaning you're not on duty. Meaning you're out after curfew."

"And here I thought you didn't care about what I did anymore," Snape had sneered evilly at her.

"Oh zip it, Snivelly. Just pack up whatever shady things you were about to get into, in the dark, past ten at night, and get on out of here," she had kind of enjoyed the way his facial expression had gotten more and more annoyed at her as she had used her new favourite nickname on him.

"Somehow you never seem to mind Potter staying out late," he had spat at her like it was an insult.

"What? Where is this even coming from!? Seriously Sev, get on going before I report you to Slughorn. I'm serious, I will!" he hadn't budged and had kept his black eyes on her. It had been the last straw for her, to simply be ignored by this chauvinistic idiot she had told all her secrets and fears to as a kid. "You know Sev, I always knew you couldn't fly a broom for the life of you when you said that Quidditch was a sport for lowly imps, but I really didn't think that you were impaired in all forms of mobility. Get. Going."- Lily had whipped herself around as she had suddenly heard what seemed like a stifled snort from behind her, but had only stared into an empty corridor. She had quickly turned back to face Severus again. Only he hadn't been alone anymore. Two wardrobe-sized Slytherin seventh year's had stood to either side of him.

"Funny seeing you here all alone, mudblood," one of them had snarled at her.

"Did you come out to play, little mudblood? You little thief, you know you're making me awfully angry wearing that shiny badge you stole from a true wizard," blood had rushed to Lily's head as she had fumed at the three bullies in front of her.

"Uh-huh, I hear you and everything, good points, both of you, excellent, but- GO TO YOUR DORMS NOW!" she had bellowed, wand raised high, and all of the sudden the two seventh years had looked uncertain and Snape had worn a furious expression, but all three had swiftly turned on their spots and had headed off in the direction of the dungeons. Lily had been awfully pleased with herself.

"See that giiirl, watch that sceeeene," she had begun singing her anthem, snapping her fingers and throwing kisses and winks to a made up crowd.

"Evans?"-Lily had whipped around. James Potter had stood in front of her.

"Potter! You almost gave me a heart attack! How long have you been standing there?" she had asked frantically.

"Oh not long Evans, just turned the corner. What are you doing out here all by yourself?" he had been unusually stern with her.

"What am I doing... Oh! I'm on rounds, actually. Which in turn begs the question, Potter, what are you doing out here past curfew?" she had inquired forcefully in the hopes that her authority was still intact.

"Just heading to the kitchens, actually," he had casually said, unfazed by her demanding presence.

"Oh. Don't you have a victory to celebrate?" she couldn't help herself asking.

"Ah that, well, I've been gone for the past thirty minutes and it seems no one's noticed, right, bloody idiots don't even know why they're drinking their brains out anymore, so I doubt I'll get imperiused if I cruise to the kitchens for a bit," he had just smiled at her.

"Yes, I totally get that," she had found herself confiding in him instantly, "I always feel like no one knows who actually won the game afterwards, they only remember who lost and can be super cruel to the students that belong to that house. I was told explicitly not to invite any Ravenclaws tonight! They didn't do anything wrong, did they? Wait, did you say you've been out for half an hour? Since when have you been standing there Potter?!" He had raised his eyebrows a little.

"Wanna come?"

"Excuse me?"

"Kitchens," he had winked at her as she had blushed.

"Oh! Um... yeah, okay," she had felt rather hungry after the whole Snape ordeal.

James had stepped past her to lead the way and after a few dumbstruck seconds she had to rush to keep up.

"So I heard you have to kiss the grapes to get in," she had asked and James had barked with laughter as they had hopped down the steps together.

"Yeah let's try that and see what happens, Evans," he had grinned widely as he had started humming the melody to "Dancing Queen" and she had forcefully swatted his arm as she couldn't help herself from giggling.


Yes, maybe she had already known by Halloween after all.