Chapter 2: Timing Is Everything


"Please don't leave me again . . . Stay . . . Please. . ."

Silence . . .

Arizona couldn't help the request that had rolled off her tongue, but it stung that it had created this awkwardness. This eerie silence between them that neither wanted to acknowledge. Closing her eyes, Callie brushed the back of her hand over Arizona's cheek and placed the most tender of kisses on her lips. She knew words would have to be exchanged and that they couldn't stay wrapped in each other's arms forever, so she untangled their limbs and rolled off the bed, slipping on one of the soft white bathrobes that hung on the back of the door.

"Are you regretting this?" Arizona asked, sighing as she sat up on the bed.

Callie turned to face her. The sheets were dropped to Arizona's waist and the subdued lighting made her look even more enticing; her blonde hair falling around her face and shoulders, the curls partially covering her exposed breasts. Arizona showed no hesitation or reserve about her nakedness, she had always been a confident person but Callie couldn't help but notice the look of uncertainty in her eyes, even as she sent her a brief smile. She looked so small sitting on the large bed all alone.

Slowly, mesmerized by her presence, Callie approached her and sat on the bed. "Arizona, I don't regret one minute of this," she assured her, handing over the spare bathrobe. "I could never regret spending time with you. It's just-" She paused for a moment trying to think of the right words, "I'm engaged, so this makes me a cheater. And I'm not that person, you know?" She sighed, trying to believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. She never thought herself capable of cheating before tonight, but when she saw Arizona all logic went out the window. She knew there and then she couldn't stop this from happening. And worse still, she didn't want to stop it from happening. There was not one ounce of regret in her body. She was that person.

Arizona looked on, observing Callie as she spoke but unable to get a read on her or what this meant for them. "Are you going to tell her?" she asked softly. Clearing her throat, she nervously added, "About us?" She tried not to look hopeful but a small part of her was clinging on to Callie saying she had no regrets about their night together. She completely understood Callie's guilt for having cheated. Arizona wasn't exactly happy that she was 'the other woman.' She wanted to be the only woman. She didn't sleep with unavailable women. She wanted uncomplicated. Easy. Fun. Yet here she was, sitting on a bed with a mostly naked and very engaged Callie Torres, secretly hoping she would choose to stay here with her instead of going home to her fiancée.

Was it wrong? Yes.

Did she care at this precise moment and time? No.

It was messy, complicated, and serious. It was everything Arizona tried to avoid in her personal life. But she wanted Callie. She had always wanted Callie. Always loved her. She had lost her and managed to find her again. That wasn't some small coincidence. It was fate. They were meant to be together. She believed that.

Callie hesitated, biting her lip before she responded; "I'm going to have to..." Arizona nodded her understanding. Taking a deep breath, Callie averted her gaze and continued, "I can't stand in front of a priest and enter into a marriage based on cheating and lies."

Just like that the small ounce of hope was gone and Arizona felt an unbearable ache in her chest, as if her heart was bruised and damaged. She was surprised that one sentence could cause so much pain. "You're still going to marry her?" She asked, her voice shaky and full of emotion, despite her best efforts to remain stoic.

Callie watched as Arizona's eyes widened, her heart dropping in her chest as she saw various emotions swirl through them; love, hope, confusion, defeat, hurt, and pain. She looked down ashamed, not wanting to stare into those defeated blue eyes any longer. "Arizona," she breathed. "Please don't make this harder than it already is."

Arizona shook her head in disbelief, raising her voice slightly she replied, "This is hard - for me, this is hard."

"I know," Callie agreed sadly. "But I have this whole other life," she explained. "Do you not think I would love to just stay here with you and forget about everything, but I have responsibilities, commitments..."

"A fiancée," Arizona mocked.

"Yes, I'm getting married," Callie responded, trying to remain calm. This was not an easy choice for her to make, but she knew she couldn't just drop off the grid. Not with a fiancée back home worrying about her, waiting for her. She was a surgeon for Christ sake, she couldn't just pack up and leave without a word. "I'm leaving. I need to."

"No, you want to," Arizona corrected, her eyes narrowing, filled with fury.

"Arizona, please, I don't want to argue with you," Callie said, voice firm but thick with emotion. "You know that I don't want to leave, deep down, I don't. Tonight has been amazing and I love- it's been amazing."

Arizona was stewing, and she knew her racing thoughts were purely emotion-driven, but she didn't care. She was strong, but she was still passionate. She felt things. And right now she felt angry, disgusted and used. In this moment she believed whole-heartedly that anger was better than the alternative; heartbreak, sadness and devastation. It was easier. So she was glad to go with anger. "One night stands usually are," she spat. "Nice, easy lay, with no strings attached."

Callie bowed her head, feeling shameful, "That's not what this was, this-"

Arizona scoffed without thinking it through, pissed and annoyed and frustrated. "It was a one night stand," she began. "One last fuck. A goodbye fuck, right?"

Callie's eyes flashed, reaching forward she put a hand over Arizona's, grazing it ever so slightly. "Arizona," she said softly, trying to be comforting. She knew that Arizona was angry and sad, but she also knew that was the only reason she was lashing out. 'Her' Arizona wasn't like this unless she was sad, she hated fighting and arguing. She was perky, annoyingly so at times, she was a morning person, she was a romantic, she refused to watch the end of sad movies preferring to think they ended happy. So Callie knew she was hurting. A lot.

Arizona pulled away, she didn't want to look at Callie or feel her touch. It was comforting, but it hurt at the same time. "You really should get ready," she said softly. "You have a flight to catch." Feeling tears well up in her eyes, Arizona lay back down on the bed and let out a deep sigh. She couldn't look into Callie's soulful brown eyes without tears threatening to spill. They were so full of hurt.

"Okay," Callie agreed sadly. "I'm, uh, I'm going to go for a quick shower." She got up from the bed, turning her back to Arizona and heading for the bathroom.


Callie slipped into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, feeling nauseous. She had just told the woman she spent most of her life loving, wanting and crying over that she was going home to her fiancée. A decision she made with her head and not her heart, but she couldn't pretend. She had a life outside of this hotel room and that was her reality. As the small pools of water in her eyes threatened to spill, she turned on the shower and climbed inside, slowly breaking down as the water hit her face. It drowned out the noise of her violent sobs, each more heart-breaking and painful than the last.

She watched as the glass door of the shower slid open, ever so slowly, revealing a dishevelled looking Arizona. Her eyes never left the blue orbs staring back when a bathrobe hit the tiled floor, Arizona's naked form on full display. She took a step forward, entering the shower and closing the door behind her. Callie tried to suppress her tears but she wasn't fooling anyone, her eyes were puffy and her face drained. Arizona knew she was upset, "I'm sorry, Calliope." Her voice was laced with love and affection as she wrapped her arms around the taller woman, who buried her head into the crook of her neck and allowed the tears to continue to fall, hard and fast. "Me too." Callie replied, it was all she could manage.

They remained in that position for what seemed like hours; when in reality it was minutes. Showering after sex was supposed to be fun; being naked together, all lathered up and washing each other's body, but this was far from it. Arizona picked up the sponge and slowly started to wash Callie's body, washing away the evidence of their night, at least that's what it felt like.

She knew this might be the last time she saw Calliope naked and took her time, making a mental note of each of her features. She washed her broad caramel shoulders first; letting the sponge graze her soft skin. Then she moved onto her strong arms, lathering each individually, all the while never breaking eye contact. Both women remained silent the entire time, knowing this was a goodbye. Arizona let the sponge travel the length of Callie's body; from the valley of her ample breasts, down her stomach, until it reached the small freckle that sat just above the soft curls of her center. When they were younger it was common for Arizona to tease Callie about this; she found it adorable. 'One lone freckle lost in the wilderness,' she would say playfully, making them both laugh, but now it just made her feel sad. When she reached her core, the sponge grazed it ever so slightly, there was no sexual intent behind it and she quickly moved on to two toned legs, before getting Callie to turn her body to allow her to do the same to her back.

Her body was a wonder, when she had completely finished she placed a kiss on Callie's temple. She could feel tears begging to escape as Callie took the sponge from her and did the exact same thing to her.


After stepping out of the shower, Callie and Arizona got dressed in a comfortable silence, neither knowing what to say to the other. Callie had a car booked, ready to pick her up to take her to the airport.

"Arizona," Callie said, getting the blondes attention. "I'm really glad I saw you again."

"Me too," Arizona replied, smiling her best half-hearted smile.

"And I'm so sorry," Callie added, her voice breaking slightly.

"Let's not talk about it," Arizona interrupted, shaking her head. "You told me repeatedly that you were only here for one night and that you were getting married. I knew. You were clear about that. I just- I guess I was so wrapped up in my own little bubble that I let myself forget for a minute."

Both women left the room, walking together down the hall, down the spiralled stairs until they got to the front door of the hotel. Callie's car was already there, waiting.

Callie exhaled deeply, "I wish things were different..."

"I know, so do I," Arizona agreed, opening the car door. "And as much as I want to stand here and tell you what you are doing right now is a mistake, I won't. I realize you can't just abandon your life but you are walking away from me in the process. I will always love you. I have loved you from the day I met you and that hasn't gone away with time. Even if you were old and grey I would love you but I need to get on with my life. I can't keep stalling because deep down I think there is hope, so I'm taking this as a fresh start for me. You walking away right now, this isn't like before. This is a choice – your choice. I just hope it's the right one." With that, she placed a chaste kiss on Callie's lips, as they parted she smiled gently. It was a sad smile. Then, she turned and walked away.

"Arizona?" Callie called, stopping her in her tracks as she turned to face her. "I lov-" she said sheepishly.

Arizona cut her off, "Don't say it." She didn't want to hear it. She knew Callie loved her but at this time it wasn't fair for her to express it, not when she was leaving. It didn't feel right.

Callie climbed into the back of the car, her head instantly falling to her knees as tears fell from her large grieving eyes, whilst Arizona walked down the path back into the hotel. She couldn't begin to wrap her head around what had happened in the past twenty-four hours. It was Callie who had approached her, it was her who asked to dance, got her a drink, took her to her room, made her the happiest she had been in years, only to leave her feeling the worst she had felt in her life. This wasn't highschool all over again. This was a choice. The words came from her mouth. And, well, she walked away.


Callie walked through the front door of her apartment, dragging her bags behind her and dropping her keys into the bowl which sat on the table next to the door . She was greeted by a woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. It wasn't Arizona. "Hey, Callie," Erica said, smiling. "I missed you," she added, walking towards Callie and pulling her in for a hug. Callie noted how weird it felt, being held by Erica so tightly after spending the night wrapped in Arizona's arms. It was just so different now.

When Erica didn't feel any response she pulled away and looked at Callie's face. Callie managed to muster a small smile, trying not to look as miserable as she felt. "You don't look too good, are you okay?" Erica asked, noticing the lack of color in her face, the red puffy eyes and drained expression.

"I'm good," Callie replied sharply. "Sorry, I'm just tired," she lied, placing a brief kiss on the worried woman's lips, hearing her let out a small moan at the contact.

"Mmm," Erica moaned. "I know something that might wake you up a little," she added suggestively, as her mouth moved from Callie's lips to her jaw line, before slowly moving to her neck.

Arizona. That was the only thought going through Callie's head as she felt the warm lips on her neck and hands touching her. Her head fell back and her eye's closed as she began to enjoy the contact, imagining it was not Erica but Arizona touching her, Arizona kissing her. She felt the strong hands remove her jacket, then make their way to the bottom of her top, tugging at it, pulling it up over her head, leaving her in her bra. Her eyes opened and she was brought back to reality, she was home and it was Erica currently stripping her of her clothes.

"Wait, stop," Callie grumbled, Erica's lips still working on her neck.

"You want me to stop?" Erica whispered in her ear. "Do you really want me to do that?" She asked again, nibbling on her ear.

Callie's mind was all over the place: Erica, Arizona, then, now, everything was too much and she couldn't do it.

"Stop, Erica! I said stop, for fuck sake!" She snapped, storming off into their bedroom and slamming the door shut behind her. Leaving her fiancée confused and alone in the middle of the living room, wondering what had went wrong.


After a couple of minutes Erica made her way to the bedroom and pushed the door open. She found Callie in bed and took a seat beside her. "I'm sorry Callie, I thought – I shouldn't have assumed you would be in the mood, especially when you told me how tired you were. I'm really sorry," she repeated. Her apology was heartfelt and Callie instantly felt guilty. This wasn't her fault. She hadn't done anything wrong.

"I'm sorry, Erica," Callie said softly. "You didn't do anything. I'm just tired," she lied again.

"Well, I'm glad your back," Erica commented. "I missed you," she added, letting her thumb graze the caramel cheek in front of her. The guilt became too much and tears started to form in Callie's eyes. Here she was with a woman who loved her, her fiancée whom she had cheated on only hours ago. She had cheated on her and then had the audacity to come home and start an argument over nothing, over her wanting to be intimate, she didn't deserve that.

"I'm sorry, Erica," Callie began, tears starting to fall from her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," Erica said, comforting her. "It's nothing to cry about. C'mon," she exclaimed playfully, wrapping her arms around Callie.

"I'm so sorry," Callie repeated, trying to express some of the guilt she was feeling.

Erica climbed into her side of the bed, slipped under the sheets and wrapped her arms around the warm body beside her, trying to be comforting. "Let's just sleep," she suggested, placing a small kiss on the back of Callie's head.

Callie didn't know what to do. She knew she would have to tell Erica about Arizona, but she thought it might be best to wait until they had slept, by then her head would be a lot clearer and she could think straight. Both women closed their eyes and drifted off quickly, wrapped in each other's arms.