The next day, Percy was going to school, when he met his best friend, Grover.
In this fanfic, Grover is French. No one knows why. Not even the author.
"What 'iz it, Persy?" Grover asked in the fakest fake French accent that you can imagine.
No, like seriously, imagine the worst French accent imitation on the planet. That's better than Grover's.
"Well, it's 'Bring your anaconda to school day', and everyone's brought their pet anaconda. We're the only ones without one," Percy said.
"Well, Persy, there' iz something more important to tell you. While I was up in 'ze morning, putting on my French clothes, wearing French shoes, and eating French fries-"
"Grover, you know French fries aren't French, right?" Percy pointed out.
"Yes, well, 'ze point is dat I have been hiding something from you. I come from a family of Butlers, who 'ave been guardians for centuries. I was sent to an island where dare was Madame Ko's academy," Grover said.
"It think you've been reading the wrong children's novel, Grover," Percy said.
"Well, I must tell you about Ms. Dodds," Grover said. Ms. Dodds was their Maths teacher, but instead of teaching Maths, she made everyone in the class read The Twilight Saga and The Vampire Diaries.
"Well, you see, she 'iz a Fury," Grover said.
"What's that?" Percy asked.
"When rabid fanboys/fangirls die, the rest of their soul moves on to the Underworld, but the fangirl/fanboy in them never vanishes. It takes on 'ze form of a Fury. Initially, 'zey were few, but then they increased in number and Hades now uses them to punish people," Grover said. He didn't get any further because it was time for them to go to Ms. Dodds class.
"Now, class," Ms. Dodds said. "I know that it's 'Bring your anaconda to school' day, but that doesn't mean that we won't be studying." The rest of the class was boring, but then, later on, Ms. Dodds called Percy to her office.
"Where is the lightning bolt?" she asked, slamming the desk.
"Which lightning bolt?" Percy asked.
"The one that was mentioned in the first chapter. Didn't you read it?" Ms. Dodds said.
"Uh, I kind of skipped to the part where it was about me," Percy admitted.
"It's always about you, isn't it, Percy?" Ms. Dodds said, and then transformed into her true rabid fangirl form.
"You see Percy, I was once loved and had a large family. But then I was betrayed and left alone to wither," Ms. Dodds began.
"How does that have anything to do with me?" Percy asked.
"It doesn't! Why do you think everything's about you?" Ms. Dodds shrieked as she prepared to attack Percy.
Just then, Chiron in his wheelchair burst in.
"Percy, take this to defend yourself!" Chiron shouted. He tossed Percy a pen. "That's your father's lightsaber!"
"But this is a pen," Percy pointed out.
"True. Thing is that I lost that lightsaber a long time ago, so you'll have to make do with that pen," Chiron said flimsily.
"Well guess what, Ms. Dodds? Even though I have no weapons and or training, I'm still the main character. So yeah, it's all about me. And that means that I'll beat you no matter what!" Percy screamed.
"No!" Ms. Dodds shrieked in pain as Percy shot a 'Main Character Fireball' at her. She burnt to ashes, and then only Chiron and Percy were left in the office.
"So, this pen, if I remove the cap, does it change into a sword? And if I lose it, does it come back into my pocket?" Percy asked.
"What kind of fantasy world do you live in, boy? Of course not, that's just a normal pen. I wonder where you get these ridiculous ideas from." Chiron said. "You must be quick Percy, for Narnia is in danger."
"I think everyone's read the wrong novel today," Percy said.
