Chapter 2

The one thing that Amanda had learnt in her time working for SVU was that nothing was ever what it seemed when it came to the cases they investigated. There had been too many times where they had believed they had finally fitted the pieces of the complicated puzzle together only to find that most of the picture was still missing. People were natural liars, she found and she herself was no different. Amanda had become an expert at lying to herself and those around her.

She shot Olivia a sideways glance. They were sitting in the Bellevue waiting room after the nurse had informed them their possible victim was too upset to talk. They'd taken a shot at the mother but the woman had been so on edge, bordering on verbally aggressive, that Olivia had decided to take a step back. But as Amanda watched the older detective she could tell that the wheels in her head were spinning. Olivia was trying to fit those impossible pieces together.

"What're you thinkin'?" Amanda asked.

The question roused Olivia from her thoughts and for a moment her eyes betrayed her weariness but then she effortlessly slipped back into the role of Sargent.

"I don't know," she mused. "Something the mother said."

"The boyfriend?" Amanda questioned and from the way Olivia arched an eyebrow she could tell they had been thinking along the same lines.

"She says nobody else watches her daughter other than him." Olivia pursed her lips and pressed her fingertips together. "It's a possibility."

"Then why doesn't she just say so?" Amanda groaned in frustration. A hint of anger flickered in her blue eyes. "If my boyfriend was touchin' my kid, I'd cut his balls off with a rusty steak knife."

The sentence somehow alarmed Olivia but not for the reasons she had expected it would. Brown eyes searched the younger detective's face. "You got a boyfriend?"

Amanda made a casual hand gesture and a smirk danced across her lips as she shrugged. "Hypothetical boyfriend."

Olivia averted her gaze and looked back down into her lap. Her hands were neatly folded, her bails painted in a shade of brown so dark it could easily be mistaken for black. They were a perfect match to her dark pants and blazer and a sharp contrast against the cream tones of her shirt. She chewed the inside of her cheek, unsure about how to keep the conversation going. There seemed to be more and more silences between her and Amanda recently.

Amanda took her phone out of her pocket as it vibrated and checked the message she had received. Her heart sank and internally she swore at herself. Her body protested against being awake. Her mind wasn't as sharp as she liked it to be but so far it hadn't quite let her down yet. She knew she would break sooner or later but she did what she could to keep going, to stay as strong as she could. But the thought of the night drawing in, even though it was only morning, already filled her with dread.

"It's Fin's birthday tomorrow," Olivia suddenly remembered. He'd mentioned it two days earlier and it had slipped her mind until now. "Did he say anything to you about grabbing a drink tonight?"

Amanda hadn't forgotten. She'd simply hoped no one would mention it because if they did it meant she'd have to lie. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Yeah, about that," she said. "I don't think I can make it."

"Really?" Olivia asked and cocked an eyebrow. A hint of amusement filled her voice but at the same time she felt the sudden sharp pang of sadness. "Somewhere you gotta be, Rollins?"

"Double booked myself," Amanda lied and fumbled with her phone.

Olivia didn't quite back off even though she sensed the other woman's unease. "Date?"

Amanda snorted. "I wouldn't exactly call it a date." She briefly peered at Olivia through her eyelashes. "An old friend from Atlanta's in town. You know, sight seein' in New York and all that. She asked me to meet her after work tonight. She leaves tomorrow."

"Bring her along," Olivia suggested and she was surprised at her own suggestion. "I'm sure Fin won't mind."

"She doesn't know any of ya'll," Amanda quickly answered. "I'll talk to Fin when we get back to the precinct."

Olivia wanted to say something else but was distracted when the nurse she'd spoken to earlier walked into the waiting area. She stood up and Amanda followed and when the nurse reached them Olivia could tell just from her expression that something was wrong.

"What is it?" She wanted to know. "What happened?"

"The mother called the boyfriend," the nurse answered. "Listen, I know it's not my place to pass judgment, that's your job, but that little girl freaked out when she was on the phone to him." Her features hardened. "I know I can't prove anything but I don't want that guy anywhere near her until we've completed the examination. Is there anything you can do?"

Olivia turned to Amanda. "Call Fin and Amaro. Have them meet us here. If that boyfriend shows up I want them to talk to him."

Amanda nodded and dialled her partner's name. She turned away from Olivia and walked to the other side of the waiting room. Fin answered him and she gave him the message. He promised he and Nick would be there in twenty minutes. She then scrolled through her contacts until she found the number she was looking for and pressed 'call'.

"Hey, it's me," she said when a familiar voice answered at the other side. She glanced over her shoulder. Olivia had sat back down and was watching her. For a moment their eyes met and she forced herself to smile in an attempt to make her phone call appear more casual. "About tonight…" She paused, dropping her voice to the softest whisper she could manage. "Is it still on? OK, I'll meet you at the boardwalk. Same time, same place."

Amanda hung up, pushed her phone back into her pocket and walked across the waiting room before sitting down next to Olivia. Their arms brushed against each other as she moved and she noticed Olivia moved a little further away from her in her seat. "Fin and Amaro are on their way." She glanced at the older woman. "What do we do now?"

"The only thing we can do," Olivia answered, sadness echoing in her voice. Her eyes were fixed at the door through which the nurse had disappeared earlier, the door separating them from their victim. "We wait."

~()~

The day had been long. Most of it had been spent at the hospital. Olivia and Amanda had finally gotten the chance to talk to their possible victim and Nick and Fin separated the mother from the boyfriend before arresting the latter on suspicion of abuse. The mother then threw a scene in the corridor where she needed to be restrained by Nick and two male nurses before being sent home with a warning. The little girl drew a graphic picture of her mother's boyfriend molesting her while he bathed her and pointed out on a doll where he had touched her.

Amanda reluctantly handed the girl over to Child Protective Services before joining Olivia in the car to drive back to the precinct. She felt dirty and stained and in desperate need of a shower. Of all the cases she dealt with, the ones that involved children got to her the most. She didn't speak for most of the journey across town, choosing instead to listen to the radio. From the corner of her eye she noticed Olivia's fingers drumming along to the beat against the wheel and it brought a smile to her face.

Once they returned to the squad room and finished their paperwork, it came to the point where the detectives were ready to head out for the night. Fin had suggested a bar two blocks from the precinct which had become one of their favourite hang outs in recent weeks and he and Nick were already halfway out of the door by the time the clock struck five, both clearly eager and excited to get out.

Olivia hovered in her office doorway. She'd put on her coat and adjusted the collar whilst letting her fingers run through her hair but her eyes were now fixed on Amanda. She knew the blonde had told Fin earlier she wouldn't be able to make it but she also showed no signs of leaving. Her teeth worried her bottom lip as she stepped out of her office and crossed the squad room to Amanda's desk. She perched herself at the end and the blonde looked up, a questioning look in her eyes.

"What time are you meeting your friend?" Olivia asked, her chocolate eyes searching for and eventually finding Amanda's blue. "You sure you don't wanna come?"

"I'd love to," Amanda replied and smiled. "But I can't."

At that same moment her phone vibrated and a message appeared on her screen. Olivia's gaze dropped down to the screen and saw the name Alex. Amanda had clearly changed the settings of her iPhone so that the first few lines of incoming messages didn't show in the lock screen. When her eyes drifted back up Olivia noticed the suddenly distant look in Amanda's eyes as she grabbed the phone.

Olivia leaned in. "Hey, Amanda, if there's something you wanna talk about…"

"There isn't anythin'," Amanda replied sharply.

Olivia was taken aback by the hidden anger in those words. Amanda wasn't the confrontational type and anger wasn't her kind of thing but she could tell from Amanda's tone of voice that she was challenging her. Challenging her to say something, to dare her to cross the line after which there was no going back. Instead of responding to the anger Olivia raised both her hands, slipped off the desk and started for the door. She turned around before leaving and found Amanda putting on her jacket.

"You know where to find me if you change your mind."

This was her way of telling Amanda that she knew she was hiding something and that she was right here waiting for her when she felt ready or willing to talk about it.

Amanda ran her hands over her face once Olivia had disappeared from sight and angrily kicked the trash can next to her desk. It bounced across the squad room before ending up in the coffee corner. A couple of detectives working late looked up in surprise at the loud noise but Amanda ignored their piercing stares as she strode out of the squad room and impatiently pressed the button for the elevator.

Walking out of the precinct felt like a breath of fresh air and she quickly walked down the road and turned a corner. She crossed the next street and walked for half a block before hailing a cab. The driver pulled up alongside the kerb and Amanda opened the back door. He readjusted his mirror as she got in and with a strong French accent asked, "Where to?"

She leant back and let out a desperate sigh. "Atlantic City."

The driver turned around in his seat, clearly surprised by the request. "You know that's a 2 hour drive, don't you?"

"Do I look like I care?" Amanda groaned. "Just get me there."

The driver just shrugged and moved the cab back into the steady flow of traffic. Amanda closed her eyes and rested her head against the window. She already had a headache and somewhere deep inside of her there was a resentment bubbling up. She listened to the radio playing in the front of the cab and wished to herself that for at least half the journey she could catch up on some much needed sleep.

Her mind was a mess. The images from the day continued to play before her eyes and she couldn't shut them down. In the back of her mind she heard Olivia's voice asking her if everything was okay. She knew the older woman suspected something but Amanda did her best not to let Olivia know what was really going on. She couldn't tell her. Not without endangering everything and everyone.

Somehow she managed to organise her thoughts and slowly the images disappeared until only blackness remained.

Amanda woke up with a jolt when the cab came to an unexpected stop and her eyes snapped open. She peered out of the window and relaxed when she noticed her surroundings were familiar. The soft humming of the car engine filled her ears and she looked at the driver who had turned around in his seat, a smile on his face. The flashing lights outside the car indicated she was in the right place. Atlantic City was known as the Gambling Capital of the East Coast and that nickname was exactly the reason she was here. It had more

She paid the driver, who didn't even raise an eyebrow at her paying the extortionate fair in cash, before opening the door and stepping out of the car. She inhaled the fresh sea air and relaxed for a moment, allowing the salty wind to tug at her hair. She pushed her hands into her pocket before disappearing into the crowd of people making their way up and down the boardwalk and headed into the direction of the various casinos. She walked briskly, eager to reach her destination sooner rather than later.

A building came into view just after a few minutes walking and the bright letters spelled the name Bally's. It was one of the many casinos in Atlantic City and it had become a spot she had frequented often in recent weeks. Amanda's eyes drifted around the area, lingering for a moment on the front door where a tall and muscled bouncer made sure that no unscrupulous people entered the casino. Amanda turned away from the front door and approached the side of the building. The shadows around the building swallowed her up as she disappeared into the narrow alley between the casino and a restaurant next door.

The sound of her footsteps sounded hollow and bounced off the walls of the quiet alley. It reeked of old urine, food and cigarettes. She didn't jump when she felt a hand on her shoulder but spun around, right into the arms of the person waiting for her in the dark and a smile spread across her face.

"You're late," her companion said as they let their fingers ghost across her cheek and Amanda sighed. "I've been waiting for you."

"I'm sorry," she answered and cocked her head, a devious glint appearing in her eyes as she fingered the other person's belt buckle. "But I'm here now. What can I do for you?"