A/N: This one seems even shorter. Sigh. I'm too concise for my own good. This one's also more angsty.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Boosh. I'm not Noel or Julian or the BBC. Shame.

Despair

Vince's POV

"Howard? Come on, let me in, it's freezin' out here." I stood outside the shop door in mid-November with my glitterball suit on. I wasn't exactly warm. Howard had thrown me out because I said stuff to him. I didn't mean it. Well, I did at the time. But not now. Not now I was freezing my arse off outside at eleven at night.

"Howard please. I'm sorry." I pleaded. "I know I said all that stuff about you being a jazzy freak who nobody likes, but that ain't true. I didn't mean it." No one answered from inside for a minute. Then I heard Howard say quietly:

"Fuck off, Vince." I closed my eyes and leant my head on the glass of the door. He didn't know how much he was hurting me. Or I hoped he didn't, anyway. I leant right close to the glass and said softly:

"I'm really, really sorry, Howard. I didn't mean it. All those things I said. It was the heat of the argument; I know I can be cruel. But Howard, you're my best mate. I couldn't live without you, you know that. I'd be lost without my jazz maverick." I let out a small smile. "And there are loads of good memories. You know, without me, you won't be able to make any more. Your choice." I waited for a few seconds, but everything was silent inside. I sighed and sat down on the floor with my back to the door, running my hands through my perfect hair, ruining it. But who cared? I only did it for Howard. I did everything for Howard. He was the only person I ever wanted to be around. I loved him, truly, madly loved him. And I thought that, given time, he would start to love me too. But now I'd blown it. He could never love me. I was so cruel and nasty to him. I called him names, I made fun of him, I was generally horrible. And now it looked like I'd blown it once and for all. I wanted to cry, but managed to hold back the tears. Until, that is, Howard opened the door. One look at his face, and I couldn't stop them anymore. Howard looked at me in concern and picked me up off the floor. He took me into the shop and up to the flat. He sat me on the sofa with him next to me, holding me tightly. It took nearly half an hour for me to calm down, and Howard managed to get over his 'no touching' policy for all that time. I stayed in his arms after I had finished crying though. He didn't say anything to me. Just held me. And now I'm confused. Does that mean he loves me back? Or that he didn't want to do it? I just want to tell him everything. I don't like being unsure. My fashion sense suffers when I'm unsure. And… I really do love Howard. I've never loved anyone like this, bird or bloke. I need him. He's everything to me. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him…