Well…this is fun.
Like pee yourself funny style fun, well it would be merely from the sight of me Ray GG and Alex alone. Look we get a little too involved in fights between us and other people the fact it was in the Slytherin common room was not my fault! *cough* Draco's *cough* God even in my own brain I'm subtle, or not if the glare Snape is currently giving me is anything to go by but you know he can probably read my mind right now for all I know he is. Gotta test that.
Balls.
No, no Snape cannot read minds evidently as he is currently looking like he is going to cat fight Draco's hair out for me. Oh dear god it would look like he was holding an albino rat…actually on that train of thought where's Captain Twerk?
"Why were you fighting well at war in the common room Miss Valis?"
Does everyone's throat bob like that when they fear swallow?
"Because Malfoy played a prank on my Professor"
Sounding like potter…nice that won't make him want to kill you more that he already does I mean blame it on that first year all you want we all saw you try to spit at Draco then miss and catch Snape's robes by mistake. And you broke my camera.
Meany.
"Oh really Miss Valis…what kind of prank was this and how did a Slytherin so easily fall victim to it?"
Well yeah I want to know that to Alex usually spots all pranks coming from all sides (which sucks on April fools but hey some things can't be helped right?) Anyway.
"Well I found some pastilles in the trunk at the end of Annalise's bed~"
SON OF A BITCH STOLE MY SWEETS!
Wait I had no sweets, and never usually do which is why I steal everyone else's. But from this revelation we all knew the true nature of these pastilles, Puking Pastilles. That's why she kept throwing up! I knew it had to be something I just sort of assumed it was dumb and dumber's smell. (We have been over this right?)
"..ing as this is not really bad enough to warrant points being taken from Slytherin house, I recommend that the mess is cleared up by the first lesson of the day which may I remind you" Snape here gave one of the campest point twirls, but it had the desired effect as he was able to indicate it was me (yay) GG Ray and Alex who were cleaning.
"Why do I have to clean? I was robbed I should be receiving compensation!" Long shot but it was worth a try.
"You are the one who threw your pet rat at Draco, are you not?"
Long shot not worth a try.
"No! Captain Twe~ Callidus (cunning) jumped off of the door frame onto Draco! I had nothing to do with it!" Smooth. Like a baby's freaking butt, that save was boss level seven and all that. The slight twitch of Snape's eye told me something was annoying him, but that might be the fact he just caught sight of my duck slippers I bet he's hopping I walk (saunter more like) out of here quietly to save him from the constant quaking.
Fat chance.
"Enough!" He finally snapped at us, pinching the bridge of his nose tightly. What was he trying to do, get high off of the lack of oxygen or something? "You four get cleaning! And you…" this was said while he was advancing into Draco's personal space ohh look at him squirm! "If you deem it wise to pull a trick like that again it would be within your best interests to be off of Hogwarts grounds before I see hide or hair of you!"
…did he just faint standing up? *thud* Ok scratch that yes he did faint and now he's sprawled out on the floor of the common room. Snape looks really impressed, well I say that he's just poked him with the end of his shoe shrugged given one last "clean it!" then walked off.
Meany. He didn't even stick around for my ducky orchestra.
"Alright Kiddies! Let's get this done!"…seriously? It's still only like what, sly glance to the clock on the mantel. 11:15 in the morning!
GG was watching us with an ever increasing sense of disappointment shining through her eyes, I mean sure the rest of us were part of her well whipped team but we were still lazy as an obese cat. What can I say? We are good at what we do and that is pretty much nothing.
"Can we just magic it clean?"
Came the moaned response from Ray complete with the odd little wave of her arms to show what she meant, this caused her dyed green fringe to slip into her eyes.
(WHY CAN EVERYONE ELSE DYE THEIR HAIR AND NOT ME?)
The really "subtle" twitch of our captain's eye gave away her next plan of attack, and Jesus was I hoping she would not go down that route. "Okay then we magic it clean but then to make up the time we will have to have double practise for our next Quidditch game agreed?" Was it just me who knew that Snape had confiscated our wands when he walked off so we had to do it by hand? From the panic stricken expressions on the faces of Alex and Ray I guess I am. Mental smirk time, oh yeah I feel good. But still...crap! I hate extra practise!
"GG please I think we should do it by hand because umm Snape will know! If we used magic or not, and if we do we will be in a massive heap of crap" Well I did mention that I really hate extra practise, well I hate all practice but extra practise just makes me nauseous.
At this GG's smirk increased tenfold "so they I say again…Let's get this clean kiddies!"
"Aye aye captain!" the other three of us chorused.
What's that muggle show again, umm oh SPONGEBOB! Damn. The biggest problem with that, I can actually see us in the show. You know if you forget that we are all bosses of deduction, we need deer stalkers hmm that would be an awesome Christmas present to. Well, everyone.
THIS CLEANING STUFF STINKS OH GOD IT UP MY NOSE HEEEEELP!
"You know the more you cry onto the floor the more fumes will be kicked up" GG's voice broke through my slight reverie (and stopped me pulling my eyeballs out)
"Why THANK YOU! What would I do without knowing that?"
"Well keep crying obviously" Ray decided to chip in by now but at this point I was already rolling across the floor towards her using my shirt to absorb all the anti-bacterial stuff on the floor. Stopping at her side using my best 'draw me like one of your French girls pose' as a conversation starter, I squinted slightly at her face.
Something was, off about it.
"Why are you pulling a Frodo death face?"… well thanks bro cheer me up why don't you, I mean I don't even have my duck slippers at this point, GG took them off me when I started moonwalking across the room during the fight, although im not sure why it was NOT the worst thing to happen during that fight. Example one Alex vomiting, continually. How much can you fit in one person? Example two GG getting far too into the fight and using that recently released first year as a hammer…against other first years. My god, you should have seen them flying off in all directions. It was the best thing I've seen so far this term!
This is why GG is my captain and I will follow her to the end, or victory you know whichever one is safer. What can I say we love each other but we are still Slytherin's.
Ha I feel sorry for those who believe we have honour…where was I? Oh yeah!
"Why are you wearing soot as eye liner?" my quizzical eyebrow went up, the best part of this expression I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN PULL IT HA! Not that it's a major thing for me, nope not at all.
"well I'm always blowing stuff up so I thought why not put it to good use?" the pride in that voice almost made me proud the woman before me had ruined so many of our potions lessons, almost. Then we all heard a small skittering noise everyone glanced to the door to the common and where greeted with an oddly normal site in this house. A bright purple cat carrying an albino rat, this house is so normal…I love them all. Well almost all of them.
"Spoopy!" GG's voice made us all jump which didn't work out for me as Ray slipped from her kneeling position and tipped her bucket of antiseptic across the floor then proceeded to land atop me. Fun.
The purple cat dropped my rat and quite happily stood to attention for the affection his mummy (GG) was giving him, this happened a lot since he became purple. What he's white naturally! All I can say is second year did not pay off well for the boy; we accidently spilt a potion on him. We still can't reverse it…damn we're good.
Luckily I didn't have to move for Captain Twerk to come to me "Hello baby how are ~?" ah I love my baby that's how I justify cooing to him. My ratty quite happily boggled then curled up in the hair I had resting on my shoulder.
All sweet and lovely right? Well it was until Alex puked, again. It seems when Ray spilt her anti septic it flooded Alex's way and the effects of the pastilles don't seem to have completely worn off.
"IM NOT CLEANING IT!" Came the screamed response from the rest of us in the room, it was at this point GG dropped a bomb. "Hey guys do you think after we win our next Quidditch match (modest my dear) it would be a good time for me to ask Draco out?"
The rest of use turned to her with wide eyes, well Alex turned as well as she could. Then with an impressive synched response we all fake chunked, well two of us did Alex actually followed through. 10 out of 10 for style on that one though bro! What I like ironic situations and this fixed the bill perfectly.
Again a sly glance to the clock 12:25...wait I swear that means something. I could feel the air hitting the rest of my eyes as they widened comically. CRAP.
"WE HAVE POTIONS WITH SNAPE IN FIVE MINUETS!"
GG me and Ray darted out of the room and charged toward Snape's room. We heard Alex weakly call out "What about me?!"
A three way glance told us all we needed to know.
"WE'LL COVER FOR YOU JUST CLEAN THAT UP!"
I hope Snape appreciates the anti-bacterial soaked shirt I wore the white rat on my shoulder and the purple cat that looked precariously close to flying out of GG's grip, and Ray's potion skill's. What that's probably what he's going to be most scared of!
Hope you liked it! Please R+R! I will try to update in the next day or two! :)
