The things I dreamt about consisted of fiery red hair and beautiful thin legs that could jump high in the sky. I didn't even know the owners name, but after that one match, that one fleeting moment, I knew that I was in love. I hardly even remember anything from that day except for him.
A nameless volleyball wing spiker with a smile that could burn itself into my core. I loved that smile. I loved the cute face he made while concentrating. There was so much about him that I didn't know but couldn't help but love anyways. It was unconditional. That's the only way to put it. I unconditionally love someone that I don't know yet act like I do know.
But now it will change, because today is my first day at Karasuno high school and from the research I have done on the boy it looked like he was the only applicant from his school to come here, he is the only reason I decided to go here instead of following my Sempai to Aoba Johsai.
The anticipation of seeing my love again was enough to make me scream. I waded through the people, clutching my bag strap as I looked around for a head of orange hair. I continued to look around feeling some of my hope diminish as minutes passed without any sign of orange hair. Just as I thought my luck gave out someone bumped into me from behind, when I turned to yell at them I was met with brown eyes and a head full of bright orange hair. My eyes widened in realization.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going, ehehe," he stood up and brushed himself off, giving me an apologetic smile. It took everything in me not to blush. I finally found him. My true love. When he continued to stare at me I stumbled over my words, saying something stupid and then getting embarrassed, and running away.
My day jumbled on with the boy everywhere. He was even in my class but sat towards the back row by the window. I waited as the teacher did roll call to see when he responded.
"Hinata Shouyou?"
"Here!" His voice was loud and cheerful, I couldn't help the small smile that tugged at my lips, what a perfect name for him. I barely payed attention to orientation because I just wanted to get to the volleyball club so that I could talk to Hinata. Maybe I could befriend him. Yes I could see it now, we would become really good friends and after our first real match together I would tell him that I liked him and then we could be together. Just imagining a blushing Hinata made me twitch in excitement.
After changing out of my uniform into the school track clothes I ran towards the gym in hope that I would be the first one there so that I could wait for Hinata. I was right, I was the first to the gym and found an extra volleyball laying out. I put a water bottle on one point on the opposite side of the court and practiced serving towards the bottle. I was retrieving the ball for the eighth time when I heard a voice singing outside of the gym. I was about to go and see who it was when the door opened and I saw Hinata, and he was singing about volleyball. I was surprised that he sang and he looked surprised too.
I went to say "hi" or something but my throat constricted and I couldn't get the words out. Thankfully Hinata stepped closer and stuck his hand out.
"Uh, Hi! My name is Hinata! We are in the same class, your name is Kageyama, right?" I was flattered that he remembered my name but when I went to respond back that "yes, that was me" but all that came out was an ignorant insult. Fuck me.
"Runt? Who do you think you are talking to jerk! You wanna go?" I rolled my eyes at how adorable he was when he got all fired up but instead of calming him down I just started babbling stupid insults. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I was just fucking up again and again until someone shouted out and we both stopped. Of course, now I stopped. The man began to chew us out for fighting, I think I took it the worst but I also felt bad for Hinata, he didn't start it, it was me. I tried to defend us, specifically Hinata but the man, Daichi, captain of the volleyball team, shut us up and forcefully dragged us out of the gym. I gave in because I deserved it but Hinata didn't fight back like I thought he would. His head was down and eyes empty, a blank look on his face, it worried me greatly. Something must have happened in the past year since I last saw him.
The co-captain handed us a waiver that said we would have to get along or else neither of us is getting on the team let alone stepping in the gym. Pissed at myself, I began to pace and curse myself for this. I messed up and now look what I did! I probably just missed the one chance that I had to make a good impression of myself on Hinata and I go and act like an asshole.
I was vaguely aware of Hinata talking to me, but whenever I looked at him he wasn't. This couldn't possibly be happening to me. I tried to think my way out of the scenario, which I'm not very good at in particular. He said that we needed to get along so that we could go into the gym and club, so I should just start over? No, I can barely talk to Hinata without acting like an idiot. I don't deserve this! I was desperate to make Hinata my friend, or even more than that, definitely more than that.
"Hey Kageyama!" just hearing him call my name like that gave me shivers. "How about we challenge… them to… a duel," I heard a ringing noise and Hinata started to rummage through his bag, it was probably his cell phone. A duel? I thought about it for a moment.
"That doesn't sound like a bad idea," I sighed in relief as the right words came out for once and listened for a response but only got a humm. I looked back at Hinata and saw the glow of his phone illuminate his face and the screen reflect in his eyes. Watching as he read a text or something, I became worried as his eyebrows popped up and his eyes widened so much that all of the whites were visible. I swear that I saw him shake in fear and this worried me deeply, knots formed in my stomach as I called out to him hesitantly.
"Hinata?" no response.
"Hinata!" I stepped closer to him and took a small gulp as I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder, feeling that rush of just touching him run down my spine. His eyes met mine and I stared at him a moment before reality crashed back down on me.
"What's going on? Why'd you make that stupid face?" I cursed myself for calling him stupid and waited as Hinata stared at me blankly for a moment. Is something wrong?
"Huh? Oh I just have to go, see you Kageyama!" he slipped from my grip and ran off, I reached out after him and my mouth hung open in shock before it finally hit me. Crap! He's leaving what do I do!
"Hinata!" I watched as he turned a corner and my hand dropped, "don't go." I angrily kicked the dirt and stared up at the sky, wondering if I should go after him. It would probably seem creepy though if someone you just met is so attached to you. I scolded myself again for being such an idiot and thought back to Hinata's idea. A duel huh? Two on two. We win, we join. I like it. I looked back at the door and banged on it loudly, I'll be brave for Hinata.
"Yes," the captain peeked out of the door with a scary look on his face and I felt like fleeing a moment before I remembered that I was doing this for love. Yeah a great cause I know.
"Captain, I would like to challenge you to a duel. Two on two. If me and Hinata win then we join. Do we have a deal?" I stuck out my hand for him to shake in agreement and saw his eyebrows raise in interest.
"A duel huh? I accept, but on one condition," he held up his finger. "We do a three on three. Tanaka here sides with you two and I go on with the other two first years that are joining. Deal?" His hand wavered in front of mine for a moment before I slapped mine against his in a hard shake.
"Deal," he laughed heartily and slammed the door shut. I scratched my head and looked around for something to do. Lingering around for a while, I went to leave when I heard one of the upperclassmen, Tanaka from what the captain said, talking loudly about something as the practice was ending. I couldn't help but listen in.
"Tomorrow the morning practice is at five thirty right? And I have the key tomorrow right?" our eyes met for a moment in the small windows and he winked making me smile. I'll have to catch up with Hinata and tell him so… or maybe I could just look up in the school files what his number is? I was about to agree on the idea when it dawned on me that if I suddenly had his number I would have to explain how I got it, and that would be a handful. I'll catch up to him instead.
Not listening to the end of the conversation, I broke out into a run for the gate. I saw Hinata exit to the left so I ran in that direction hoping that he hadn't gotten far. I was out of breath after a minute of sprinting and slowed down to a fast walk as I approached a bridge. I noticed someone walking far ahead of me and at first I thought it might be Hinata but then I tripped over a bike. Oh yeah, Hinata exited on a bike too.
Brushing myself off, I stood up and looked at the fallen bike and bag next to it. They both seemed familiar but also generic. My eyes swept the area for its possible owner and my eyes landed on a shadow moving under the bridge. Squinting, I tried to distinguish who it could possibly be, and in the process I started to walk forward. I felt my feet grow heavy and stop moving though when the person stepped out into the light.
I recognized that orange hair instantly and felt my heart jump as Hinata walked slowly towards me. His head was down and I saw that he was holding his shoulder like it hurt. I was going to call out to him when my eyes widened as I noticed that he was limping. Oh jeez what happened? Is he okay? I couldn't hold my worry and my questions burst out.
"Hinata? What are you doing here?" when his eyes met mine I saw the answer to all of my worry. His face was pale and his eyes wide in fear. I tore my eyes from him and took in his whole figure again, looking carefully this time. Hunched shoulders, scared expression, bags under the eyes, big clothes, a limp, hurting shoulder and god knew what else hurt. I felt something spark in my stomach and ignite the flame as it all clicked. Hinata was being hurt by someone. I wanted to find them and tear them to shreds. Hinata did not deserve this, no one did. But I had to help him now.
"K-Kageyama?" I walked closer to him and tried to keep my anger from showing. His voice cracked and sounded hoarse. My heart constricted in pain and it took everything in me to keep from enveloping him in a hug and not letting go.
"Yeah it's me, what happened? Are you okay?" the shock on his face was evident and that only fueled my hate. So no one knew did they?
"I-I just fell off my bike… no big deal ehe?" he didn't sound so sure to me, but from knowing what he was going through I didn't push him. Hinata moved his arm away from his shoulder and began to walk, yes walk towards his bike. I could barely tell the limp was there and I frowned at his back. How long has it been going on that Hinata learned how to cover up his limp?
"Well maybe you should wear a helmet next time, be careful dummy," I tried to affectionately tease him but couldn't tell if it came across that way. Hinata stuck his tongue out at me and laughed lightly as he picked up the bike, before going into a coughing fit. I took a step closer. "Are you sure that you're okay? You don't sound too good to me," I raised my hand up as if to pat him on the back but I hesitated and dropped it with a small sigh.
"Yeah, Kageyama. I'm… fine," Hinata caught his breath and smiled at me before mounting his bike with some difficulty. He was going to leave when I remembered what I was going to tell him.
"Wait, tomorrow morning we are going to practice before the team does, okay? Their morning practice begins at five thirty so be there at five, okay?" Hinata looked reluctant at first but at the promise of volleyball I saw his face lift slightly. He agreed with vigour and I couldn't help but let the small blush cross my cheeks as he stared at me with sparkling eyes.
"Well, bye Kageyama," I waved at his back as he pushed off and down the road. My hand dropped as he disappeared into the night and I let my anger consume me. I yanked my bag off and threw it at a tree, then angrily stomped down the hill to take in the scene of the crime. I need to figure out what exactly happened so that I can try and stop it.
Underneath the bridge I squinted and tried to make sense of what was there. Scuff marks from shoes, dirt, so far nothing really special. I stepped in closer and then the stench hit. I tried not to gag when the metallic smell of blood filled my nose, as well as something else, something sweeter. It seemed familiar and I wracked through my memory at what this smell was. Then it hit me, and the force made my knees give out as I fell backwards onto my backside and scrambled away from the scene.
I wanted to puke, the thought itself was horrible. What made it worse though was that this probably wasn't the first time. I really did puke and wasn't embarrassed by the fact, hell all I was really worrying about was Hinata. What type of evil bastard would go around beating and raping an innocent fifteen-year-old that probably had the brightest smile in the world? It sickened me, but now I knew one thing for sure.
I was going to save Hinata, no matter what it would take.
Waking up extra early was difficult enough, but getting hit by a biking Hinata just made my day, and not in the good way for once. Yeah I was happy to see Hinata but I was not happy that I probably had marks on my back from where the handlebars hit. It sure hurt like hell but I was able to keep myself from getting too upset. Hinata was really sorry afterwards but when he flew off the bike and landed on top of me I felt the burden on my heart lessen slightly as he laughed at the awkwardness of our scenario.
We met up with Tanaka at the gym ten minutes before five and Hinata and me couldn't thank him enough. I hope the rest of the upperclassmen will be this nice and helpful, unlike someone I used to admire. Just the thought of his annoying face gave me a headache, so I quickly shook it off and pulled off the track suit that was over my shorts and t-shirt. We threw our stuff in a pile by the door and as I turned around and stopped, trying very hard not to stare.
Hinata was stretching with his back to me and I took it all in. The way his skin glowed as he moved about gracefully in each position. His long, smooth legs that I could only imagine what they felt like. Hinata moved to touch his toes and I had to turn away before my imagination go too enthusiastic and I would have a slight problem. Instead of standing around like an idiot I did my own stretches, turning my body so that Hinata wasn't completely out of my vision but not the center of it. Tanaka rolled out a bin of volleyballs and leaned against the wall, watching us.
"So, lets see what you two got!" He laughed heartily I watched as Hinata jumped up and down chanting "spike" with a crazy-happy look in his eye. Before I do that, I have to make sure that everything else is good. Last time we played I noticed that Hinata's recieve was weak. So maybe we should work on that.
"Hinata," he hummed happily and looked at me expectantly, right before I crushed his mood. "Let's see your recieve," Hinata puffed out his cheeks unhappily but did as told, as he did I took up a random volleyball and tested it for firmness by slapping it against the ground like it was a basketball. Good. I gripped it tightly as I spun it in my hand and looked up to see Hinata getting in position with his knees bent and arms out at the ready. Good so far. I served and watched closely as Hinata leapt forward to recieve. His form was good but right as the ball was about to connect with his arms, they jerked upwards and the ball bounced up, hitting him in the face.
"Your arms go up too soon! Again."
"Osu!" Hinata jumped up and awaited my next serve. It was better than before but it still needed improvement. We went like this for fifteen minutes and by then Hinata was receiving them perfectly almost every time. I watched as he panted staring up at the ceiling and I stepped under the net with a ball in hand. I got into position and raised my arms up as if to throw a toss.
"Hinata," he looked over and I saw his eyes widen and I threw it, watching as he came up to it with great speed and it was sent flying hard across the other side of the court. Hinata landed on the ground and grinned, staring at his reddening hand. If my tosses can make Hinata smile like that, then I will do everything I can to give him a toss.
Me and Hinata had been practicing as often as we could. The mornings in the gym, the courtyard at lunch, and the grass behind the school after class ended. Whenever Hinata would recieve properly I would give him a toss and the effect was exhilarating. Slowly as we practiced and became more in sync I began to make the tosses faster and harder, but Hinata did not fail to impress me. Maybe Hinata is the one that can spike my "god-like" toss that cost me my team. Only time could see.
It was the day of our match and Hinata was nervous. Tanaka tried to give him an encouraging speech but it didn't seem to work. Taking my own leap of faith, I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder and he looked up at me with big, curious eyes.
"Hey, we can do this. Just trust me to get the toss to you," there was a twinkle in his eye as he smiled and nodded. I felt relieved that I was helping him even though I was a jerk at times, but if it meant that I got to see that smile then I would do anything. The match started and I felt myself relax into the game. Serve, recieve, cover, toss, spike, block. Hinata surprised me with his jumps again, going high enough to block some of Tsukishima's spikes.
For the most of the game we were doing good and I only spiked to Tanaka, in fear that Hinata would freak out and mess up. Not that I didn't have faith in him, I did, but I didn't have faith in myself since I began to toss too quickly for Tanaka. While the other team was getting ready I pulled Hinata close to me and whispered into his ear, completely forgetting for the moment that I had a crush on him.
"I want us to try something. Let's do a quick. Just trust me to get the ball to you fast, okay?"
"Yosh!" We parted and the team served, Tanaka received it and I went to catch it and toss. Hinata sprinted up to one side of the net but Tsukishima was close on him, and I watched in surprise as he quickly changed direction and was jumping on the other side of me ready to spike. I tossed and the sound of the ball hitting the ground echoed through the court as silence spread.
Hinata was smiling at me while holding up his reddened hand. I couldn't help the blush and I looked away to see the other teams shocked and slightly disturbed faces. It was making this awkward. Hinata noticed the tension and asked the million dollar question.
"What?"
"Hinata you…" Sugawara stepped forward with a look of disbelief. "You're eyes were closed the entire time you spiked," now it was my turn to be surprised. I stared at him as we all shouted in disbelief, except for Hinata who just looked at us like we were stupid.
"Well he said to trust him to get the ball to me, if I had my eyes open I would be to worried about where the ball would be and miss," it made sense but to think that he trusted me that much made me feel like I was going to explode with embarrassment. I didn't show it but if I were alone I would probably be rolling on the floor with a face redder than a tomato.
We went back to the game and me and Hinata continued to use our quicks. Neither of us really spoke to each other but we still did great. At the second round Hinata tried something different and at first I was confused but what he said made sense. He was trying to open his eyes while using the quick to pinpoint where to spike to get in-between the blockers hands. The first few times were horrible fails but we slowly adjusted and soon were better than before.
Never did I think that the one I thought as my significant other would also be the one meant for my tosses. It proved to me that this was meant to be and that we were joined together here by fate. Hinata probably didn't realize it but when we did our quick together and scored the point, he would get this look in his eyes that proved to me there was much hope to save him from his torment. I promise to save you
The game ended with us winning and Hinata jumped up as he gave me and Tanaka high-fives. Tanaka lost his shirt some time in the game but none of us really cared. We were welcomed to the team and given our matching track pants and jacket with the school name embroidered on the back. Trying them on, I nodded in approval at the fit but then I saw Hinata posing in it and I cracked a smile. The poses were obscure and only made him more adorable in my mind. The look of excitement on his face was reassuring and at that moment I just wanted to pull him to me and bury my face into his silky hair. The only reason I knew for sure that his hair was silky was because once I got angry and started squeezing his head like a stress ball.
Me and Hinata were just racing each other to the gym when someone accidentally got in our way and we all collided. We were in an uncomfortable pile with me on the bottom and Hinata sandwiched in between me and the stranger. A Hinata sandwich. I laughed mentally at that and in reality yelled at the guy to get off of us. He got off and while we dusted ourselves off introduced himself.
Said his name was Nishinoya, a second year, and was returning from a suspension and joining back with the volleyball team. Hinata commented on his height and I swear I have never seen a more terrifying midget in my life. After apologizing repeatedly we all continued to the gym but at a walk. Hinata talked with Nishinoya about what position he did and I just watched him from the side. Taking in the way he talks and makes different faces, the way he moved his hands while trying to explain something, and the way he walked with a small bounce in his step when he was happy or excited.
Practice was mostly focused on Nishinoya, a libero as found out from Hinata, and I just stayed on the sidelines observing. As I watched them I noticed a bandage on Hinata's neck that I hadn't noticed before. I wondered what was under it and if it would leave a scar both mentally and emotionally on my dearest Hinata. Although what annoyed me more was that Hinata's attention was focused just on Nishinoya, and no where else. It made me jealous and I angrily practiced in a corner as they all continued talking.
"-but I won't stay unless Asahi comes back," my interest was peeked when I heard that and turned to see Hinata's reaction, to see a disappointed face. I couldn't just leave him like that. I waited until the end of practice before approaching Hinata. Before I could even bring up the topic Hinata was all out with ideas on how to convince Asahi to come back on the team. I was glad that he was determined but also nervous because Hinata seemed very interested in Nishinoya and this ace Asahi, I just hope he didn't fall for either of them.
During break the next day me and Hinata asked around until we found Asahi and called him out. We were both surprised by his height and build, the guy was huge and powerful, no wonder he was the ace. Hinata hid behind me for a moment and I introduced myself, as he did next. After our introductions Hinata began to talk with Asahi more freely and I was pleased to hear all of his passion pour into his voice as he talked about volleyball. Hinata said something that surprised me and I felt my heart skip a beat.
"The tosses that Kageyama gives me are the best and as I spike I can see the whole view of the court and it just feels amazing. Don't you think so Asahi-san?" I glanced at Hinata from the corner of my eyes and watched his expressions change as he talked with Asahi. It was quite a sight to see that smile and to hear the passion and confidence he had in his volleyball, it made me want to hug him so badly.
I wasn't sure at first that Hinata had convinced Asahi to join back on the team but when he showed up the next day at practice I felt my pride grow at the fact that my little Hinata was so persuasive.
Practice went well and me and Hinata walked home together in a happy silence. I just watched as Hinata kept making these cute little faces and noises as he thought to himself about who knows what, it made me feel so warm inside to see that expression and how happy he seemed at the moment. I wanted to preserve this moment. Without Hinata noticing I took out my phone and snapped a quick picture. Another picture to add to my growing collection of Hinata. I printed out all of the pictures that I took of him and strung them up in my closet behind all of my clothes so that no one could see them. Sometimes I would just stay up late staring at the pictures and remembering the moments I took them.
We parted ways with a small goodbye and I quickly made my way back home to an empty house again. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I printed out the days worth of photos that I got of Hinata and hung them. I stepped back and surveyed my work. At this rate I would need a second closet by next month to fill with pictures, because I could never put them out in my room since I would never know if one day Hinata comes over.
Dinner was small and lonely like usual except for a picture of Hinata that I put on the table held up by the soy sauce. I chewed methodically as I stared at the picture intently. He looked so happy but that didn't make the bandage and dark circles go away. I continued to think deeply about the possibilities as I did the dishes and washed up for bed. Just who was the one monster that could hurt such a beautiful creature?
I stared at the picture in my hand as I laid in bed. Feeling myself heat up in embarrassment I pulled it to my face and kissed it, feeling like I was some five-year-old girl with a crush. Shaking my head I placed the picture gently by my alarm clock and snuggled into the bed, wondering what kind of adventure tomorrow would be and what I would learn about my beloved. I smiled gently at the image of me and Hinata walking together in comfortable silence replayed in my mind.
Yeah, love was nice.
