CHAPTER TWO: PERVERT MEETING NEW HOKAGES AND BETS

Team alpha was running at full speed towards the north town where they would find the next hokage it would be some peace and quiet if Hound and Jiraiya were not bubbling about something that had them giggling like two teenage girls

"So master Jiraiya what made you come back to Konoha"fox asked not enjoying hound and Jiraiyas giggling

"Ah my fine companion I am back because the new hokage might need my manly help"Jiraiya boomed

"Wow I am officially speechless and why am I the only girl" monkey whispered but thanks to fox sensitive hearing he heard her "monkey is a girl but back at ANBU...they must have used a voice changing jutsu"

"Wow monkey I never knew you were a girl"

"What are you talking about monkey can't be a girl"

"Well hound if you used that sensitive nose or those ears of yours you would find out we are tree hopping with a girl" fox growled

"Well, well, well monkey-chan if we get to Konoha I am pretty sure you would not mind modeling" Jiraiya said with a perverted smile which left monkeys eye twitching

"And who might I ask would I be modeling for" monkey was not enjoying this

"well let me introduce myself" with a puff of smoke making the ANBU halt in their tracks Jiraiya was on top of a toad swinging his hair "from all the corners of the world ladies scream when they see me man bow down at my greatness I Jiraiya the toad sage the hottest ninja ever to be seen the author of 'come, come paradise' the super pevert of the elemental nations at your service" there stood Jiraiya on an orange toad striking a pose so ridiculous even the trees would wilt at this sight

Fox was shocked, Monkey swore she was going to be scared for life and hound well hound was bowing down at the toads feet muttering things about heroes and legends "so you are a pervert" Monkey muttered

"no, no, no my dear that's where you are wrong I am a super pervert" Jiraiya beamed not realizing the storm that was coming, out of nowhere Jiraiya was sent flying into three trees before he came to a stop both hound and fox turned to look at monkey

"WHAT" monkey asked developing a tick-mark

"How could, you do you know who that is"

"I bet you are about to tell me hound" the tick mark was getting bigger

"He is the writer of the best book..." Hounds talking was cut short as he too was sent flying just to land right next to Jiraiya turning to face fox "would you like to add something" monkey said in a sweet deadly voice

"No not at all" fox said taking a few steps back the rest of the trip was spent with Jiraiya and hound giving monkey wary looks "she is just like Kushina" Jiraiya thought "just what I need another kushina scary"

They arrived at north town with no time to spare and started their search "alright you three are to get a hotel, get some food and I will hit the bars for some res-I mean get information on our target" Jiraiya beamed while walking away

"He is going to do perverted stuff isn't he" monkey asked

"Yep" fox answered

"I wish I was him" hound said dreamingly

Both fox and monkey stared at hound 'is he for real' they both thought seeing how their musk's were turned to look hounds only clever way of solving this was just to shrug

Monkey sweat dropped "I am sure lynx has it far better than I" she whispered

"Did you say something" both boys asked while walking away

"No, no I said nothing at all" monkey said shrugging both boys continued while monkey ran to try catch up with them

IN STAR VILLAGE:

Trouble was brewing "weasel look out" lynx's voice was heard calling out then there was a large explosion when the dust cleared three people were left lying unconscious 'I'm sure Tanuki has it better than I" were lynx's last thoughts

"Finally got you" said an evil voice

IN LIGHTNING VILLAGE:

Tanuki was running alongside Tiger they were running at full speed "for crying out loud who the hell is chasing us" Tiger asked

"If I knew I would not be running as you saw we tried to fight and nearly got crushed literally"

"They seem to be after you Tanuki"

'I'm sure lynx and monkey have better missions' Tanuki whispered while dodging a kunai

BACK IN NORTH TOWN:

Jiraiya was busy 'who said these books wrote themselves first them then I will find the hokage' thought Jiraiya as he was about to enter the hot tubs that just happened to be opposite a bar when he saw the next hokage 'Ha take that and you ANBU brats thought I was going to do perverted stuff' he was about to enter the bar when he was spotted through the window "YOU" the person pointed while breaking a glass the whole bar stared at the person 'that wasn't the welcome I was expecting' Jiraiya thought while sweat dropping

Jiraiya thought it would be best if he notified the ANBU he came with so he summoned a toad and told it to go locate the ANBU and tell them where he was

Jiraiya entered the bar and sat right across the person who had pointed at him after ordering some sake he turned and spoke

"Well that was not the welcome I was expecting"

The person ordered another glass and turned to face Jiraiya "Jiraiya are you following me"

"No do I look like I have a death wish"

"Then why the hell are you here it can't be a coincidence"

"Well I don't mind answering that you have been requested to be the next Godaine of Konohagakure no satu" someone spoke

'That was fast' Jiraiya thought

The person turned to look at the person who spoke "and what if I say no" the person replied with a smirk

"Well then Tsunade-hime we are obliged to take you by any means possible even if we have to use force" fox smiled

'Oh boy this could get bad' Jiraiya thought

"Really brat you think a thing like you in ANBU could take on a sanin like me listen here I am not goingto Konoha so take your hokageship and toss it where the sun never shines" Tsunade growled

'Did I say bad I meant terrible' Jiraiya thought

"Tsunade please don't start a fight with ANBU" Jiraiya pleaded

"they won't stand a chance let alone lay a finger on me now listen you brat if you want to ruin your life become a hokage I tell you your life will be doomed to go to hell"

"What did you say you old hag"

"What did you call me brat". At this time Shizune who was not in the room at the time came when she heard Tsunade scream, her bloodfroze when she was greeted by the sight of Jiraiya sweating bullets two ANBU standing there one about to fight and Tsunade hovering over the ANBU like an impending doom what did I miss' she thought

"Do you have a death with wish" Tsunade bellowed while releasing some K.I the people in the bar started to cower

Fox was shaken but stood firm "ha you have to be so old that death is the first thing on your list"

Tsunade growled brought her hand down and shattered the table into splinters Jiraiya had his mouth hanging open fox was speechless monkey and hound were shocked and Shizune well Shizune was sure all hell just froze

"Um hime I'm quite sure fox over here…" a glare from Tsunade shut Jiraiya up that instead

"So you think your team including yourself can take me on ha I would like to see you try"

"Lady-Tsunade I'm sure it…" Shizune tried to calm her but a second glare from the said woman made Shizune take a few steps back while holding poor ton-ton in her hands

Fox was still speechless this woman who was now labeled a drunkard just broke a whole table into splinters getting a hold of himself he spoke "let's go to the clearing just outside of the town"

'Doess he have a death with' everyone thought

"I am right behind you" as fox lead the older people of the group to a clearing hound felt that he had to ask fox what his plans were

"are you sure about this I mean she is a sanin after all"

"Yep that's why I am going to beat her at a game that she is terrible at" responded fox

When they reached the clearing they faced each other clearing his voice fox spoke

"lets have a bet" this instantly had Tsunade interested she loved to bet and easy cash from these brats would do fine

"please Lady-tsunade this is not necessary I'm sure we can come to an understanding" when she saw Tsunade was not giving her any attention Shizune sweat dropped "and she is not listerning to me is she ton-ton"

"oink"

"I'm listening brat so what are your terms"

"if we win you become hokage and if you win…"

"I get all the cash you have on you including…yours Jiraiya" with a deadly sweet smile she produced four wallets

Jiraiya went pale 'no forget bad, forget terrible this is horrific' he thought

Jiraiya went up to fox "listen kid we don't have to that far I mean I'm rich and all but there is one thing I hate and that's losing money…kid…kid…are you listening to me"

"Lady-tsunade you got yourself a deal"

Jiraiya face palmed 'this kid is as hot headed as tsunade they must be related that I can bet on oh who am I kidding they hardly know each other'

"I feel your pain Jiraiya-sama I really do don't I ton-ton" Shizune said while patting Jiraiya who was muttering about all the money he would lose

"oink"