CHAPTERS 5-6 OF HOPELESS KINGDOM

I've been living in the darkness; shadows in my apartment, heartless. Taking love just to spill it on parchment, next page and I'm out again. I've been living in the night life, lips hit you like a drive by, frost bite. Ice cold, I mean they cut you like a sharp knife. Next page and I'm out again. ~ Ansel Elgort, Thief

..Sick..

I had the most magnificent woman in my arms. She leaned her back against my chest and her hands played with the bubbles that surrounded us in the tub. Bella's hair was up in an intricate knot on top of her head, which left her neck wide open for my wandering lips.

"Most embarrassing moment?" I asked her.

"Oh, tripping at the Oscars. Hands down." I chuckled against her neck. "Did you know about that already?"

"I may have seen a video. Or two."

"Damnit. It was the most horrifying moment of my life," she said with a shake of her head. "Of course, no one will let it die either. I get asked about it all the time."

I ran my hands along her soft skin under the water; along her thighs, up her sides, everywhere that I could touch. The few hours that we were at dinner with my family were too long to go without having her naked. Now that I'd had her, I couldn't get enough.

She suggested a bath after our exploits on her couch downstairs. While it had been years since I had even used a bathtub, I was starting to see the perks of them again.

"What's yours?"

I had gotten too distracted by the soft skin of her shoulder. "Hmm?"

Bella giggled and I swore it made my heart skip a beat. "Your most embarrassing moment."

"Ah. Well, I was dancing with this woman at a benefit and halfway through she abandoned me."

"Oh, please. That was not embarrassing."

"How would you know? You were gone." I nipped at her shoulder teasingly. Everything was so easy with her. Everything about her drew me in and I was never disappointed with what I found. I was too attached, too committed to her after only knowing her such a short amount of time.

I squeezed my arms a little tighter around her waist and pulled her as close to me as possible because right now, like this, it felt too right to question.

..Sick..

Bella had a blanket fetish. The girl had them stashed around her house so she would never go without the comfort of a good blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The moment we sat down anywhere, a blanket appeared out of thin air and she tucked it around herself. If she was in a sharing mood, she would cover me up, too. It was fucking adorable.

She was sitting with her bare legs across my lap. I had pushed her blanket away so I could trace her skin. I got a glare in return, but it was worth it. Her toes were painted dark blue and when I pulled at them she squealed and tried to squirm away. I had to promise to leave her feet alone to get her to keep her legs in my lap.

"It's always been an escape for me. I didn't have a lot of friends growing up, so I spent a lot of time getting lost in books. Then acting fell into my lap and I became the characters I was always reading about. Getting lost in a character is a nice way to forget about my problems for a while."

She took a deep breath before she went on. "About… two years after I started acting I had a… sort of a breakdown. I just lost it; I was stressed and exhausted and alone. I spent six weeks in a mental rehabilitation center."

I looked over at her, shocked she would share something so obviously personal with me, of all people. Again, I was reminded just how much I was deceiving her. There was nothing I could do, she couldn't know about my life. The more she knew, the more danger she was in. I had good reasons for not being truthful, but the trust she showed in me made that knot of guilt build in my gut.

I pictured this woman, this strong and talented and brave girl in my arms scared and alone. The thought of her being so worn down that she had to go to a mental rehab center made my fingers itch with the need to break something, preferably something on the people who let her get so run down.

I pulled her into my lap, her legs straddling my waist. Her arms wrapped around my neck but her eyes never met mine. I didn't know how best to ask what I needed to know without somehow offending her. "But you're good now, right?"

"Yeah, I'm good. I was depressed and lonely, but I'm better now. I have mood stabilizers that I take every morning. I just, I thought you should know."

Cue the guilt. "Will you promise me something?" She nodded. "If you ever start to feel like that again, I don't want you to hold it in until it breaks you. Will you come to me?"

The heaviness of my request is not lost on me but I couldn't stand the thought of her closing in on herself. I reached a hand up to caress her cheek. She eyed me uncertainly, but her eyes softened and she looked at me with complete love and devotion in her eyes.

I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I was sure my eyes matched hers.

..Sick..

I surrounded myself with the scum of the world on a daily basis. I dealt with drug dealers and owned a strip club or two. It was business; it was my life. I easily immersed myself in the life I was born into. My family distributed drugs, heroin and cocaine mostly, and I had no problem testing the product to make sure it was of good quality. My parents expected me to marry a respectable young woman, likely from another crime family in the city, so I fucked around with them.

The moment I met Isabella Swan my entire world shifted and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Drugs no longer held any appeal to me. The women I once found attractive now seemed repulsive with their fake nails and surgically enhanced bodies.

Bella was pure. She was a ray of sunshine when my entire life had been a thunderstorm. She was unexpected and terrifying, but everything about her felt right. Which is why I couldn't let anyone know about her.

My parents would loathe her. Esme had her heart set on me marrying Irina or Tanya, both children of Aro Volturi and both equally nauseating. Esme loved them both like her own children already. She was close with Aro's wife, Sulpicia, and watched the two girls grow up like her own. She just had no clue what they were like when they weren't around their parents.

Carlisle would see her as a threat. He was right, she was a threat. It was fucking idiotic for me to pursue a relationship with someone as prominent as Bella. But after my time with her in Los Angeles I had no choice. Everything about her drew me in. For the first time in my life, I was completely helpless. I needed her.

I left Bella blissfully passed out in her bed. She would wake in a few hours when I had to leave, but I wanted to let her sleep as much as she could. I had worn her out, but I didn't feel the least bit sorry for it. I ended up in her movie room, standing in front of the shelves lined with awards.

I read about all of her awards that first night when I shamelessly Googled her, but it was shocking to see them in person. I picked each one up and read the plaques carefully. Most of them were for her role in What About Us. I had watched it a few times since a box of movies showed up at my penthouse a few days after Bella left.

Seeing her name engraved so elegantly on statues that people worked their entire lives to get sent a rush of pride through me. She was exceptional. She was talented. She was revered.

I should leave Los Angeles and never look back, let her have a prosperous life and career. But I wouldn't do that. I couldn't do that now. Not after I had spent more time with her, gotten to know her more.

She was mine.

Carlisle was starting to get suspicious. I had acted differently since I got back from Los Angeles a week ago. I was more level headed; more focused on my work and less focused on distractions. The only distraction I allowed myself was my phone constantly in my hand.

I had her schedule memorized and I knew exactly when I would be able to reach her. Tonight, for instance, she was in Atlanta and I would be waiting in her hotel room by the time she got back. I just had to endure a meeting with Carlisle before I could leave.

He entered my office, not bothering to knock beforehand, and took a seat across from me. "Have you thought more about it?"

Carlisle had called me back from Los Angeles early because he decided he wanted to work with Volturi and wanted to talk with Emmett, Jasper and I about it. All of us told him it was a senseless move. Volturi couldn't be trusted, and we knew that. Hell, Aro's father killed Carlisle's father.

That was when I decided I could no longer trust my father.

"No. I don't need to think about it."

"Edward –"

"Dontai Volturi killed Ronan Cullen. There is nothing to think about, Carlisle. We can't trust them."

"Times have changed, Edward."

"No, they haven't."

Carlisle stared at me, his eyes cold and unfeeling. It wasn't an unusual occurrence for him to look at me like that, I had gotten used to it. We didn't have a typical father-son relationship. He didn't come to my baseball games or tell me to follow my dreams when I grew up. He ordered me around and told me to do his bidding most of the time, no matter the consequences.

Our dynamic was changing now. He was getting reckless and everyone was noticing. We needed a change in leadership and he was getting worried, as he should be.

I left town an hour later, giving Emmett instructions to keep a close eye on Carlisle. I didn't need him going behind our backs to make a deal with Volturi. The flight to Atlanta was too long. It gave me too much time to overanalyze the situation with Carlisle and become more frustrated.

Luckily, I was on my way to see a pretty little brunette that I knew would be more than happy to help me work through my frustration. It had only been a week since I saw her in Los Angeles but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. I was addicted to her; mind, body and soul.

Kate set aside a key for me at the front desk, and I made it to Bella's room with just a few minutes to spare before she should be back. She had a suite, of course, so I leaned against the counter in the small kitchenette to wait for her.

I heard the ding of a key card being read and smiled as I saw her shadow enter the dark room. "Shit!"

Bella jumped back a bit, and I heard Kate snicker behind her. She slammed the door in her face and turned to look at me. "What are you doing here?" She asked, a smile replacing her momentary panic.

I didn't have the patience for pleasantries. I had her back against the door and her lips against mine in moments. She moaned and the sound went straight to my cock. I had both of my hands on her ass and lifted her in my arms.

"We can catch up after," I muttered against her lips. I squeezed the flesh of her ass as I walked her into the bedroom and she let out an adorable little squeak against my lips.

I tossed her on the bed and she stared up at me with wide, trusting eyes. Don't trust me, baby. Never trust me. I tugged at her jeans, pulling them down her legs as fast as I could. There was no hesitation when I buried my head between her legs.

She thrashed against me, moaning as my tongue played with every inch of her pussy. I groaned at the taste I had been craving for seven days. I threw an arm over her waist to keep her still but she still fought against it. I didn't stop my assault on her sensitive flesh until she screamed out my name and came around my tongue.

I pulled her back in my arms. She was more lethargic now, a little worn out from her first orgasm, but her lips were still just as insistent against mine. I got her in the bathroom and turned the shower on. It was a little difficult considering she wouldn't stop touching me, but I got it done. I pushed her inside the open door, pleased to see she had discarded her remaining clothes, and she stood there and watched as I discarded my clothes to join her.

She was a vision, standing there under the spray. Her hair looked nearly black and her eyes were bright and excited. She looked every bit the twenty-year-old she was.

I had her back against the cool tile and her breasts in my hands. My lips found my favorite spot on her neck and nibbled on the skin while I teased the peaks of her nipples. Bella couldn't seem to decide what to do with her hands; she went from gripping my arms to my back, to sliding her fingers along my chest.

My lips trailed up to her ear. "Will you get on your knees for me, baby?"

Her eyes snapped to mine and I saw the excitement in them before she did as I asked. During our two blissful days in Los Angeles I learned that my girl had a thing for sucking my cock. She didn't hesitate to take me in her mouth the second her knees hit the floor.

I leaned my forearms on the tile behind her and watched as her lips wrapped around me. She bobbed her head along my length and moaned when one of my hands reached down to get her hair out of her face.

"Stop," I grunted and she let my cock pop out of her mouth. She stood up slowly and I lifted her in my arms again. I knew she would be ready so I didn't hesitate to line her up with my cock and plunge in.

The warm walls of her pussy clenched around me as I slammed into her. Bella's hands gripped my shoulders and her head was thrown back against the tile. Her neck was lined up perfectly for my lips to taste her sensitive skin.

"I've been thinking about your pussy for a week," I whispered against her skin. My eyes drifted back up to her and I knew she was gone. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her breath came in sharp pants.

I let my hips grind against hers at just the right angle so I rubbed against her clit and was rewarded with her pussy gripping me as she came. My teeth bit down on her neck and I grunted out my own release.

I held us there for a few minutes, allowing our breathing to slow.

"Hi," Bella whispered to me. Most would think she looked a mess, her hair matted to her face and some mascara starting to run down her cheeks, but she was gorgeous. She smiled down at me and kissed my nose lightly and God help me, that was the moment I fell in love with Isabella Swan.

Fell in love with the way she was unfathomably kind to everyone she met.

Fell in love with the way she was so driven to be the best at everything she tried.

Fell in love with the way she looked at me for me, not for who my job made me become.

I let her fall from my arms but kept a grip on her waist to make sure she didn't slip. A small hand touched my cheek. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It's just been a rough day," I admitted. I never complained about my life or my job, I enjoyed it for the most part. But there were days, like today, when I wished I was just a businessman. Someone who deserved to love her and earn her love in return.

"Well, I'm no Northwestern grad but I'm a pretty good problem solver," Bella told me, soaping up a washcloth and rubbing it along my chest and arms.

I simply looked at her for a moment, unsure of what to say. She was taking care of me, she wanted to help me. God, I love you.

"Carlisle is being… difficult."

"Is a lot of your business with your father?"

"Some. We all have our various businesses around the city, sometimes we partner up."

Bella pushed me onto my knees and started massaging shampoo into my hair. "And… he wants to do something that you think will jeopardize one of the businesses you have together?"

"Yes, something like that."

"Well, he's your father. You should be able to talk some sense into him."

"My father is… the boss when it comes to our business dealings." I cringed at my own words. The lies slipped off of my tongue before I could stop them. I'm so sorry, baby.

"He's still your father. He should at least take your opinion into consideration."

I sighed and stood to wash her this time. She was silent, seeming to know I needed time to think. When we were both clean and underneath the sheets of her bed, Bella looked at me again.

"I wasn't very helpful," she said with a sad smile.

"Yes, you were," I told her truthfully. I had never been one to talk about my emotions, but she got me to open up to her as much as I could.

"When do you have to leave?" she whispered to me as she curled into my side.

"About the same time you do in the morning."

Her wet hair was matted against her cheek and my chest and an arm thrown across me. Bella fell asleep within a few minutes, but I never did. I held her hand to my chest and prayed that I would be able to figure out a way to keep her. Keep her with me, keep her safe. Keep her forever.

..Sick..

I tossed the stacks of bills at each person around the table. Five men surrounded me. They were all suppliers of some kind. One guy, James, ran a small security company. He supplied us with extra muscle whenever we needed it. There was another man, Mike, who ran a good ring of drug runners. Seth was here, but he was the cleanest of us all. He was a good detective who needed the cash to support his family. He was a good guy, but he still took our money and hindered a few investigations. Everyone at the table deserved to spend the rest of their lives in prison, myself included.

"What's going on with Carlisle?" Mike asked.

"None of your fucking business," I hissed. Carlisle was all over the place these days. One day he was his usual, ruthless self, and the next he was ten times worse. It was exhausting.

I pulled the stacks of cash out of my suit and tossed them at their respective recipients.

"What the hell, man. I'm fifty short," Mike shouted, thumbing through the bills. The fucker got screwed over when one of his guys ran off with our product. He's lucky to still be breathing.

"Hire people who won't run off with fifty thousand dollars of our shit next time." The ding of the elevator saved Mike from any further scolding. Every head in the room turned around. I expected Emmett or Jasper, possibly Carlisle. I did not expect Bella to walk through the doors.

Fuck.

I walked over to her, slower than I would have wanted, but I knew I couldn't let them men behind me know how important she was.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Bella mumbled, turning back to the elevator.

I tugged her bag off of her shoulder and wrapped a hand around her waist. "What are you doing here?"

"I texted you, I'm sorry. I'll just go get a room downstairs."

I tugged her next to me, keeping her hidden behind me as I led her to the stairs. I told the men I would be back and got her as far away from them as possible.

"Who are all those people?" Bella asked me.

I ignored her and got her into my bedroom. I set her bag on the floor and pulled her into me. That was all it took for her to fall apart.

"Shh, it's okay, baby girl," I told her, kissing her cheeks, her forehead, anything to calm her down. "Give me twenty minutes to get rid of everyone downstairs and then we can talk. Okay?" I kissed her lips lightly. "It's going to be okay."

I left her there, standing in the middle of my room crying. When I returned to my meeting everyone gave me skeptical glances.

"Any more questions?" I asked.

Mike slapped his hand on the table and pointed at the stairs. "That fucking teen movie! That's where I've seen her! Damn, would've driven me crazy all night."

"That's not a fucking question."

"You're fucking an actress, Cullen? We was a pretty little thing." James piped in, his eyes continually glancing toward the direction of the stairs.

I wanted to break his nose, maybe an arm. Anything. It was revolting, listening to these scum talk about Bella like she was just a piece of ass. But I knew I had to play along. They couldn't know she was my weak spot.

"She seems like one of those girls that just goes wild in private, ya know?" Mike said.

I smirked at them despite the nearly uncontrollable urge to beat them to a bloody pulp. "You have no idea."

I got rid of them after that. As soon as the elevator doors shut on them I knocked over the hideous plant Esme had left last time she was here. I needed to break something. If it couldn't be a bone, I supposed the giant vase was good enough.

Bella wasn't in my bed as I expected her to be. The bathroom door was closed so I knocked lightly. "Bella?"

She didn't respond. I walked in and saw her through the glass door of the shower. I opened the door and she was standing there with a razor in her hand and bloody water dripping from it.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I pulled the razor out of her hand carefully and helped her out of the shower. Once she was wrapped in a towel I set her on the counter and wrapped up her hand. She was shaking, but it could have been from anything. Cold, pain, sadness.

I dressed her carefully and situated her in bed. When I got in behind her she told me about her trip to Forks, about her selfish, uncaring mother. I was already on edge, but hearing the things she told Bella made me even more furious.

"You're one of the most successful women I have ever met. You're accomplished and talented and I don't want you to ever think you're not, do you understand?"

Bella nodded slightly and situated herself even closer to me. "Thank you."

"Thank you for coming to me."

"I'm sorry I interrupted."

I pulled her closer and she rested her head in the crook of my neck. I was sorry she interrupted, too.

A/N: I originally posted this earlier this afternoon, but there seemed to be an issue. It never appeared when I was looking at the story on my profile, so I took it down for a bit and re-uploaded it.

As per a request by a reviewer, I'll start putting the corresponding chapters up for where these scenes fall in Hopeless Kingdom and reputation. These HK moments are usually combinations of chapters, but I feel like the reputation moments will be more separated if that makes any sense.

Thanks for the great response to the first chapter – I'm so glad you all are looking forward to some EPOV!

Send me any requests you've got :)