When Ritsu had awoken in the hospital, it had been the most devastating thing he'd ever been through. The hours after that had been devastating. He'd sort of panicked upon realizing that he was still alive, so he'd jumped from the bed and tried to escape from the hospital. He'd only made it about halfway down the hall before the doctors had caught up with him. He had been transferred from the ICU and to the mental health unit the following day.
Chapter 2:
When Ritsu entered his room, he wasn't exactly sure what he had been expecting. It was dim, and at first he couldn't make out the figure that was on the bed located across the room from his. The teen was sitting on the end of it, knees drawn to his chest. Ritsu sighed, and then flicked the lights on.
His new roommate didn't even look up.
Ritsu suddenly felt nervous. Should he say something? The kid probably didn't want to talk; nobody did on their first night here. Maybe he should just ignore him and go to bed...but he wanted to read for awhile first.
Well, he might as well be polite. Clearing his throat, Ritsu said, "Look, my name is Onodera Ritsu. This has been my room for two whole weeks. I guess I don't mind sharing, but I like time to read in the evenings. So I'm keeping the light on…"
No response. He quickly padded across the room to his bed, where his book was laying face down like he had left it. As the seconds ticked by, he felt very awkward. He snuck a peek over and found to his surprise that he was being stared at. Blushing a brilliant red, he took a deep breath.
"D-Do you have to stare at me like that? It's weird." There was no reply, so Ritsu began to feel self conscious. "Um...I'm going to turn the light off now."
Doing so, he then laid back and closed his eyes, trying to pretend that he was alone. Of course he would get the creepiest roommate in the whole unit.
…
"So Ricchan, aren't you going to introduce us to your new roommate?" Kisa of course had to make the following morning very awkward as they all filed into the dining area for breakfast. Takano had been trailing not far behind Ritsu, so he of course heard Kisa as well. Before Ritsu could even open his mouth to answer, his new roomate beat him too it.
Giving a charming smile and holding out his hand, the newest patient said, "I'm Takano Masamune, it is a pleasure to meet you."
Both Kisa and Chiaki grinned, shaking the handsome teen's hand. Ritsu, however, stood gaping at the scene playing before him. Takano hadn't even said one word to him last night, and now he was just going around introducing himself to strangers? How insulting! With a huff, he left the group of teens and went to the counter to receive his medication and breakfast.
He wasn't too keen on being forced to take antidepressants, but he would play along for now, until they released him. Once that happened, he wasn't sure exactly what he'd do. His parents would probably be even more disappointed than ever. He would still likely be better off dead.
"Hey, you walked off," A voice stirred him from his morbid thoughts. "Are you always this rude?"
Ritsu glared. "Rude? You didn't even say a word to me last night!"
"You didn't sound very welcoming."
Unable to think of anything to say, Ritsu didn't respond. By then they had both arrived at the counter. Ritsu downed his pills in one go, and then grabbed a tray with waffles and fruit. He discreetly watched as Takano took his food, but refused the pills that a nurse tried to give him.
"The longer you refuse, the longer you'll be here," He couldn't help but say.
Takano raised an eyebrow. "Are my decisions any of your business?"
"No," Ritsu said with a glare, but his eyes were a little soft and he felt his cheeks turn red. "I guess not
It was a little annoying having Takano follow him to his table, but he didn't protest. They both ate their food in silence until Kisa and Chiaki joined them. Kisa's breakfast only consisted of one small waffle and three apple slices, but he moaned and pushed the tray away from him.
"We have group therapy this morning," Chiaki broke the slightly awkward silence. "And tonight we're playing board games!"
Ritsu felt his spirits lighten a little. Most of the day would be relaxing and give him time to think. The sudden clatter of a tray on the table made them all jump. Hatori had set his tray down and was sitting down next to Chiaki.
"Tori! I'm glad you accepted my offer of sitting with us!" Chiaki welcomed him. This was certainly interesting. Chiaki and Hatori must have been finally connecting. "This is Takano-san! He's new here."
"Hi," Hatroi said shortly, nodding to Takano before quietly going back to his breakfast. He seemed much more calmer. Rumor has it that when going through the first stages of withdrawal, Hatroi had been a terror.
Half an hour later, Ritsu found himself seated in group therapy. Nowaki had Takano introduce himself to everybody, and he was encouraged to share the reason he was here if he wanted to. rRitsu couldn't help but look up curiously as the older boy stood up and bowed.
"I'm Takano Masumune," He said, before stating gravely, "And I'm here because I failed to kill myself."
Everybody was silent. Ritsu felt his heart pounding, looking at the floor as Takano sat back down again. He'd had some sort of idea that it was depression, but it hurt to hear something like this. He and Takano were really in the very same situation...they were both stuck in lives that were not worth living.
That was the worst part of the session. After that, they had a long discussion about fear and ways to overcome it. They all had to write down a fear. Sharing it out loud earned you a point, but it was only voluntary. Because he was one more point from earning another trip to the library, Ritsu shared his out loud.
"I'm scared to talk to my parents. Especially my mother," He told everybody. "I haven't seen them since I...came here."
"What way do you think is best to overcome this fear?" Nowaki asked.
Ritsu sighed. "I guess just get it over with. But I really dont want to." He looked down again as an indication that he was done talking about it.
"Alright Ritsu, you get a point. Looks like you can go to the library later. Now who else wants to share?"
Ritsu felt his thoughts wander to his roommate as Kisa stated, "I'm afraid of lunch."
When the session ended and there was free time, Ritsu quickly went to his room and sat on his bed. He was joined seconds later by Takano, who stood in the middle of the room and looked at him. Ritsu stared back.
"Why do you want to die?"
Takano raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking?"
"I just...I don't know. Or maybe I do. I'm here for overdosing. Obviously my plan failed…"
Takano didn't respond, so Ritsu continued.
"I keep thinking about when I get out of here. Will I go back and do it again? Or should I actually try at life? I guess I just wondered if you were thinking the same things…"
Another terrible silence commenced, and Ritsu felt his face flame up in embarrassment. He should have just kept his mouth shut. Then, much to his surprise, Takano slowly walked over and sat on the bed next to him.
"I'm alone in this world. That's why I tried taking pills too. I was going to hang myself, but I wanted to die in my bed, under my covers where it's warm."
Ritsu felt his throat choke up. "We're both trapped."
Tears fell silently down his face, and he startled when a cool hand brushed over his cheeks to wipe them away.
"Sweetheart, you're starving yourself! It's not healthy!" That was what Kisa's mother had said when she found all of the diet pills in his dresser drawer. He didn't understand why her eyes were welled with tears. Didn't she understand how much he needed to do this?
Kisa hated his body. He was too short and much too baby faced. No matter what he did, he could never seem to get rid of that extra body fat. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but this was really the only option. Before refusing to eat, he had tried everything. Exercise, dieting, weight loss pills. Everytime he looked in the mirror, he saw his chubby cheeks.
He was attracted to beautiful people. They were his role models. Kisa could spend hours looking at gorgeous people's faces. He only wished that his own face could be stunning. At first it had been just a strict diet. But when the diet wasn't enough, he had to start skipping meals. By then, every time he took a bite of something, he could feel it filling him up and making him fat. It was disgusting and horrible.
But of course he had collapsed, and his parents had found out. Now he was stuck here and he would be a prisoner until he gained at least fifteen pounds. This place wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't constantly watched and weighed daily to monitor his weight.
After group therapy, Kisa had his personal therapist appointment. That was on the fifth floor. He had to take an elevator there. At least the nurses trusted him to make it there on his own now. Once he had reached the fifth floor, the doors opened and something unexpected happened.
Kisa came face to face with the most beautiful boy he had ever set eyes on.
Sorry it's been so long, the holidays were chaotic. I hope some of you are still interested in this story! Let me know if you are!
