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Chapter 2 The visit

The phone rings. With every ring my heart feels as it beats faster and faster. With just a few seconds, he answers.

I hear a heavy sigh before I hear a response. "Thought you'd never call" I feel goosebumps begin to rise. Why is she answering? Where is Steve?

"Natasha." I say with a disappointment. "How are you?" I recover to my usual tone.

"I'm fine, we are fine." I feel a sense of relief hearing that.

"How are you? Rhodey is with you right?"

"Yeah, he is with me, he's been doing well."

"Well, aren't you going to ask why I answered?"

"Well... I am curious."

"Steve left a few hours ago. We don't know where but before that, he spent some hours here looking at this phone."

I pause. I can't believe what I'm hearing, I thought they all would be happy leaving me behind.

"What, can't believe it Stark? Why are you so quiet?" she laughs a bit.

"No, not really, Nat... Who's there with you?"

"The rest of us, expect Banner and Thor of course."

"So Barnes is still with you?" I don't even know why am I asking, it's stupid, I don't care.

"He is."

"Don't worry... I don't want to fight this time."

"I know, Tony."

"Also, I am sorry for what I said the last time we talked. I was having a bad moment and I guess I should have stayed quiet." again, not used to me saying things like that.

"I know that too... Wait, did you just apologize?"

"Maybe.. But, I've gotta go. I'm happy to know you're doing fine."

"I hope we meet soon."

"I do too... Goodbye, Natasha." I say hanging up the phone slowly. My heart is still beating fast and I'm not sure how to feel anymore.

I'm confused.. where is Steve? Why was he looking at the phone before? Does he really think about me? It doesn't matter now, they're alright and it's all that matters.

But I still feel empty. I miss them but that's not the worst part... the worst is that half of the team still hates me. I remember Barton's words, it's sad I considered him family. I just don't know anymore. I try not to think about it much and for moments, I don't.. But they became my only reason to keep going and I lost them, I feel that I don't have strength left but there's something that keeps me going.

Faith? Stubbornness? There are so many things to call it, but the truth is, I still believe this is not the end. I believe we can still fix this but I don't trust myself enough to make this work.

"Boss, you've got a visitor." F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice brings me back to reality.

"Who is it?"

There's no answer, it could be just one person and it's so improbable that I'm already hurt for thinking about him again.

I leave his office and head to elevators. The elevator opens and I feel how everything falls so quickly, I feel so much fear and anxiety built up inside me. The bad memories coming back, I really wished it was him, but now that I see his face.. here.. in front of me, I feel so insecure again.

"Stark."

"Rogers."