Disclaimer: Hussie owns Homestuck
John woke with a sense of glee. He was going to see Sollux today...oh dear. Wait. Did he consider it as a date? That would mean the whole day would be spent getting ready. He had to look perfect but in a natural way. He had to look the perfect amount of messy..but if it wasn't a date..shoot. It'd be nice to start with some coffee. Yeah, that would help a lot. Clear his mind, get energized. What time was it anyway? Oh shit. Noon. Pchoooo. Well then. John gets up from his bed, hair messed up. Only in his boxers, and walks out to the kitchen. Mmm.
Karkat was still mulling in bed, clutching his pillow tightly, not wanting to drag himself out. He'd barely been able to fall asleep, and when he did, sleep was still shitty. The teen was a mess when he poked his head out of the den, not in a very good mood at all. Feet shuffled to the kitchen, and he sat at the table, hanging his head in his hands. "Auuuuagh, fuck." When he looked up, he met blue eyes, and his mood soured even further. "Shit, sorry, whatever," with that he removed himself and moved away to the couch, curling up and thinking about work.
[twinArmageddons began trolling ectoBiologist]
TA: hey johnny boy.
TA: you never called me hehe.
TA: what'2 goiing on bro?
John heard the beeping of a message on his phone, the specific one he had for pesterchum, and proceeded to run to the phone.
EB: oops sorry
EB: karkat was pissed at me...didn't wanna bother him he still pissed
EB: but whatever, making something coffee and whatnot, thinking bout tonight heh
EB: whats up with you
TA: oh really? well don't ju2t leave me hangiing, giive me 2ome 2peciifiic2 on your thought2.
TA: you know, ii'm 2ort of a pro at makiing dream2 come true.
TA: haha anyway, why wa2 he 2o pii22y anyway? ii mean not liike he'2 not u2ually, but iit wa2 exten2iive.
EB: i don't really know :(
EB: i think it had something to do with forcing him on the slide but he was worse afterwards
EB: i kept insulting him though.. like his driving, damn
TA: oh god, john ii thought you'd know by now, never comment on hii2 driiviing.
TA: eh iit'2 fiine, he'll giive over iit. but anyway, 2o here'2 my number, text me kay? ii got two get back two work, ju2t for a liittle more.
TA: 2ee you twoniight.
[twinsArmageddons ceased trolling ectoBiologist]
Sollux smirked, sending a quick message to Karkat before locking his iPhone and sliding it into his pocket.
[twinsArmageddons began trolling carcinoGeneticist]
TA: ju2t try not two be a douche. plea2e. for once.
[twinsArmageddons ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist]
Karkat received the message soon after, his laptop pinging on the desktop. With a glance, he noticed the yellow text on the screen. He groaned and threw a pillow at it, rolling over. With a sigh, he just could handle it anymore. Karkat stood, walking over to close the log before selecting the first color that caught his eye.
[carcinoGeneticist began trolling terminallyCapricious]
CG: HEY FUCKER.
TC: HeY MoThErFuCkEr
TC: WhAtS AlL AnD MoThErFuCkInG Up bRo :o)
CG: UGH, CHRIST, YOUR WORDS STILL GIVE ME A FUCKING HEADACHE.
CG: BUT EH, NOTHING REALLY, I GUESS.
CG: ALRIGHT FUCK THE SMALL TALK, I JUST WANTED TO ASK IF YOU'RE DOING ANYTHING TODAY.
CG: WELL? ARE YOU GOING TO RESPOND TO ME OR WHAT? GAMZEE, THE FUCK, FOCUS!
TC: SoRrY BrO
TC: ThE MoThErFuCkInG LiGhT BrO
TC: So mOtHeRfUcKiN LeGiT
TC: So tOdAy
TC: NoT DoInG A MoThErFuCkInG ThInG
CG: GOOD. KEEP IT THAT WAY.
CG: I'M COMING OVER.
[carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling terminallyCapricious]
Good, now he had new motivation, forcing himself to pull his shirt off over his head, tossing it aside once he got into his room. He couldn't understand why his chest still felt heavy, but it was fine. He was going to be with his "best motherfuckin' friend," which, in all honestly, no matter how badly it infuriated him, it was soothing all the same. Without saying a thing to John like he usually did, Karkat began off, sitting in the car and drove away. Gamzee didn't actually live too far away, though he did live in the more ghetto part of town. Which Karkat despised of course, but no matter how hard he pushed, his stoner refused. He given up a while ago. "Gamzee, where the fuck are you? Why's it so god damn dark in here...?" Stepping further, he dared to explore the small house, eventually making his way to the miniscule living room. "What. The hell."
Gamzee looks up at his best friend with a grin, he had let himself in, aperusual. "I found a mothfucking purple light sphere. It's such a motherfuckig miracle bro. I mean look at it. Its all fucking purple and shit. Like shit man. It's so damn purple." honestly he could reel in this spheel for hours, many hours. Especially right now, still freshly high. A joint only half way finished in between two fingers. "Bro come bask in this motherfucking miracle light with me. Pop a faygo or some shit. Man so motherfucking colorful. Like, why is it so fucking... And like maaan. Why can't we just all have some motherfucking miracle lights. Spruce up rooms and shit. Like everyone could buy some mothfucking white decor y'know? Then just pop in a motherfucking colored light. And bam. Like. Motherfucking color. So miraculous."
With a heavy groan, Karkat pinched the bridge of his nose, barely able to handle it. "Gamzee. My. Oh sweet fuck, what is wrong with you! Where the hell'd you even get that damn thing? You're fucking smoking? I should've known. Of course, when are you not?" Despite the irritation clouding the words spilling out, he plopped down beside him, inhaling the comforting scent, no matter how vile it was. Smoke and cologne mixed, Karkat sighed. "Why do you even smoke anyway? Seems fucking pointless to me..."
"Man. It opens my mind. Like I got motherfucking understanding now. I don't need political or worldly crap. Just need to take a step back and focus on the motherfucking miracles surround us. Man." he inhales a horde of pot at that moment and coughs a little then starts laughing his ass off. "Man. You just need to motherfucking relax. You're so tense. Just have some fuuuun. Relac man." the stoners had reaches out and starts to massage one shoulder lightly, with a rather lazy grin.
Karkat did the exact opposite, tensing at the touch. "Don't, fucking touch me!" Though, it was a step back to think. "You can't just forget the entire world, damnit," he murmured, thinking to himself. Brought back to reality, his eyes looked to the side. "Why are you touching my damn hair." Gamzee shrugged at him, showing off his teeth. Out of impulse, Karkat's hand reach up as well, running his fingers through Gamzee's mane, working out the knots. "God, this is so fucking stupid, what are you doing?"
"Man. Your motherfucking hair is so soft. Mmm I can smell it from here..cherry..strawberry. Some shit." Gamzee omits a laugh and buries his face in Karkats hair, sniffing at it. Man, his inhibitions were lost to the motherfucking wind. He was high, mostly from motherfucking lfie (thats a laughXD) "Man Karkat. So motherfucking tense. You need to come your tits and slam a faygo. Heh, maybe with a little special juice. We don't want you to be so motherfucking tense."
"Dude, get the fuck off, you're getting all your face shit in my hair!" Karkat tried to push him away, but his hands were still tangled. Pulling his fingers out, he pushed at Gamzee's grin violently. "No, no get off of me! I'll be as tense as I want to be!" He never understood how he even forced himself here, how this always happened. "You're so, damn heavy, fuck! Lose some weight!"
"You just hurt my feels." Gamzee pulls back and widens his eyes to an adominal sie, they were already glassy so he wouldn't nor couldn't make fake tears. "Man. Just. Man." he takes another drag from the bong, accidently blowing the smoke in Karkat's general area. "Shit. Sorry man. Heh. Wrong motherfucking directoin." he laughs again and picks up a faygo sitting beside him and takes a swig.
Karkat waves a hand, forcing the smoke away. "Blagh, yeah right, sure, a total fucking accident!" Glaring at Gamzee, he stared before snatching the Faygo away to tip it back. "Gah, how do you even down this goddamn sludge!" Okay, so it wasn't all too bad. But like hell he'd admit that. Karkat sneezed suddenly, and then coughed from the combination of smoke and "You're an ass," he hissed, "trying to give me emphysema, I see how it is!" He exclaimed, smacking him on the back of the head.
"Ow. Fuck man. If you're gonna smack me. Dont smack me there. Smack me somewhere else." he says lazily, grinning at the boy then reaching for his faygo to take a sip. "Man. This is the weakest fucking joint." his eyes glance at the clock accidentally, well it wasn't an accident but it wasn't on purpose, "Shit motherfucker. I have work in two hours." he chuckles a bit from nothing in particualr.
"How is that even funny? You have work? Get up, go, or I will smack you somewhere else! And I won't be goddamn gentle about it!" Now that he thought about it, where did Gamzee want him to smack? Oh god, no, that just sounded dirty. "I am not dressing you again, that was the worst fucking experience I've ever had!"
"Man motherfucker. Just because...oh whatever. Lets see...clotes clothes. Naw wait shower..or food? Man I'm all up and beffudled and shit. I dont understand...fuck...ugh." gamzee stood and dropped the joint swearing again he leaned down and grabbd it, then proceded to flick it into the trashcan.
"Put the damn thing out before you toss it, idiot!" Karkat stood up abruptly to stamp his foot into the trashcan, staring down in disgust. With a hefty sigh and an irritated expression he turned back to his best friend. "I'll make something, you can shower your nasty ass or whatever. Just dress yourself, I'm warning you, don't you dare come out in the kitchen waving that thing of yours around."
"Bro, stop talkin' 'bout my little monster like you don't like it. Heh." Gamzee lets out a small reel of low toned chuckles. But of course he obeys the 'angry midget'(although he wasn't a midget) and proceeds to the bathroom to shower. 'How man motherfucking days had it been anyway?' It was a rather alarming thought since he was indeed inquiring upon himself the last time he had showered. Although a Gamzee shower could hardly be called a shower by normal standards. He would just stand under the water for any number of minutes, commonly spacing out, and then receding from the water to dab on some scent or other. Sometimes he'd take a real shower. This could be one of those times... hmmm washing himself with that motherfucking sweet shampoo. Strawberries. It was the only showering utensil he kept. He washed everything that needed to be washed with it. 'Cause hey, one thing that bubbles is another thing that bubbles. And so he did indeed take a shower, reeking of cheap kid's strawberry shampoo. And afterwords he proceeded to grab a towel, off the floor mind you, and wrap it around his abdomen. He wouldn't usually, but when a bro asked, he could give. So he might as well have some cover, from there he went into the kitchen to see what that motherfucker was up to. "Mmm smells great Karkat."
"Of course it's fucking great, in every way. I'm making it." He was glad that Gamzee pulled him out of his daze. All he'd really been doing was staring into the pan, thinking about John. Nothing else of importance. Nothing was helping him shake the feeling that, now when he really thought about it, didn't make him want to rage and spit. It almost made him... Well, it made him want to cry. "You, on the other hand," it was sudden and reflexive, but Karkat sniveled. "Ugh, you smell horrible. Like a fucking candyshop, diluted with shit. Or something cool like that. When are you going to change that damn bodywash?"
"Fuck man... it smells like a motherfucking miracle. I never want to change it." he grins lazily, his partial high slowly wearing off. Gamzee had not been sober in a long while, nor had he been near Karkat. Ever really, at least it seem like that. The self-proclaimed juggalo moves over to the meal making his friend was doing and peared into the pan. "I mean, man motherfucker, it makes my hair all motherfucking soft, miraculous. And it smells so nice." he highly, drunkedly, lazily even nuzzles his face into the neck of his friend.
"No, it doesn't!" Karkat refuted strongly, ready to push his friend away, but stopping. It did smell sort of sweet. A disgusting inexpensive kind of sweet, but sugary nonetheless. "Yeah, and your hair's still wet, asshole, go dry it." Still, Karkat remained where he was. It was comforting to feel his friend so close, something that he hadn't felt in a while. "I missed you," he muttered under his breath, doing his best to sound grouchy. "All your fucking fault too. Getting a job and shit."
"Man motherfucker...I could only do what I was doing for the pot for so long. A bro can only handle so much of that." he grins and winks at his cohort. His sentiment however was only half in the joking hemisphere of speech. His eyes were much less glazed now, he had had only the one part of the joint today and the cold shower didn't help his high- no hot water available. So he was about as sober as he had been for a while. And it was a rather jarring experience. Especially with the throbbing in his head. "Speaking of pot..." he begins, but trails off, spinning around to go to his stash.
"No, don't," Vantas moves too quickly for his own good, barely pushing the sizzling pan up to the stove in time to catch Gamzee's wrist with the other. "Ow, fuck! Tsss, shit, but you don't need the pot, you have work soon, aagh," he pulled away to move to the sink, running water over the tiny burn. If anyone knew anything about Karkat, it was that he was a wuss. "Do you have any bandages or anything? You know what, nevermind, I, I'm fine. Hey Gamzee do you think..." Karkat glanced over his shoulder, considering whether he should face his friend or not. He didn't. "Do you think I could ask you something? Some jackassery that's sort of fucking personal, that nobody really knows, and I'm super fucking confused about?"
No pot? Weill shit okay. The scene befor ehim whirls in a sort of painful clarity. Of course when Karkat turns back to ask about a bandage he has some neosporin burn cream in his hand. And while the next question comes from his mouth he is already starting to spread it on the burn, no need for motherfucking burns. "Bro, come on. You can talk to me 'bout anything. Always. Of course you motherfucking can." Gamzee says in a somewhat laughable way. For truly he did seem like a dork at times. Although right now he just felt downright weird.
Karkat smiled a small smile before grimacing at the cream touching his skin. "You sound so," the sentence trailed off as he watched Gamzee's hands work at his, but his smile soon fell completely. "Ah, nevermind, forget it, I'm just being a dipshit like usual." How was he supposed to say this? At all? How to even begin formulating his inquiry? He couldn't contain it any longer. Gamzee was his best friend, and keeping his emotions inside was like poison. "I think I'm in fucking love with John motherfucking Egbert!" he blurted suddenly, unable to keep it back. "I, I'm sorry, I just," with a jerk, he pulled back, staring at the ground in shame. "Fuck, I don't even know why I said that, uh, I'll just, go now, or something."
Gamzee's head inclines at his unually speaking friend, well unusual in the way he was speaking. The topic? None the less, he cokcs his head. "Bro...why you all up and aplogizing? Loves a motherfucking miracle. If you love John you've got to go and motherfucking tell him. Spill your miracle heart juice all over him. There's no reason to be ashamed." he says with a serious, for once, expression and places at hand at Karkat's shoulder. "Bro. C'mon."
"Ghhh," he buried his face his hands, face burning. "How am I supposed to not be ashamed? I'm, I'm disgusted with myself! I can't even fathom-" But when that tender touch reached his shoulder, Karkat decided to bury himself into Gamzee's chest instead. "Don't you 'c'mon' me, this is horrible! I just, it hurts, I don't even fucking know why! Hell, I don't even know if I actually like him! Maybe I'm just jealous, but I, I had my fucking chance with Sollux and now I'm just pissed at myself and trying to make other people hurt but the only person it's fucking hurting is me!" Little hands had wrapped themselves around the tall boy's waist, digging his fingertips into damp skin. Finally, after a few heavy breaths he could speak normally again, though it was far from normal. His tone was soft and his voice shaky. "So now, just call me out for being the worldclass asslick that I am."
"Oh bro.." Gamzee says in a sfot sigh. This wasn't all up and motherfucking good. His bro was hurting. Hurting bad. "Maybe you should actually start by figuring this motherfucking shit out. Man. Sorry." he says sort of awkwardly, he was used to reeling about mriacles and shit, trying to get a laugh out of someone to make them feel better. He was far from used to being sympthetic. Saying sorry and that shit. "And hey, you are not a motherfucking asslick. Or anyother combination you might come up with thats all negative and shit. Egbert's stupid if he's making eyes at other people. Same with Sollux. The whole motherfucking world should be losing there heads for you. Maybe even other motherfucking planets. All the fucking universe's and shit. All of them. Yup, that's how many should love you."
He knew that hugging Gamzee so tightly was probably making him uncomfortable. Well, not the hugging per se, but the words Karkat was belting out. He felt horrible, really, Vantas did for putting his bro in this situation, but there was no turning back now. "Thanks for trying," he murmured, unable to break apart from him just yet. Blinking once or twice, he took another breath, steadying himself. "I mean, thanks. For uh. Yeah, uhm." This was painful for the both of them. "Yeah, you're right though. I guess. Or something. This never fucking happens, hah." Averting his unmakeupped friend, Karkat returned to the food, moving it to a plate and sliding it down the counter. "Sorry to make this shit awkward for the both of us. Ugh, it's alright if you fucking hate me now or whatever. I'll go." Go where? Home? He didn't want to go home, but what choice did he have anymore? He'd officially fucked it up with everyone. Way to complete the cycle.
Karkats change in mood generously befuddles Gamzee."Wait. What? Dude, come on back. Why are you freaking out like this bro? I dont feel motherfucking awkward. You dont need to motherfucking apologize." Gamzee grabs at his wrist and tugs the angsty guy towards him. And then proceeding to squish him in a stifling bear hug. "Bro..Karkat...I love you man. You don't have to motherfucking leave." And undermining his wet hair, he nuzzles his head against Karkats in a kittenish way. He was always there for a bro, and he always would be.
The smaller boy grit his teeth, wetness sliding down his neck, and he shuddered against his friend's grip. "G-Gamzee, fuck, your towel, shit pick it up, oh my god, oh my god, you're, hugging me, fuck, get it before it completely falls," Karkat squirmed, though stilled to hold it up against Gamzee's thigh with his hip. "Gh, please just." Giving Gamzee a moment to adjust himself, Karkat did the same, clearing his throat and letting Gamzee's words through his head again. 'Bro..Karkat...I love you man.' "I love you too, douchetit." He sideglanced at the clown. "But just a little! Nothing more than just a fucking little, don't forget it!"
Gamzee chuckles at the whole predicament. For truly it was a humorous ordeal. The whole towel thing. And his stubborness. "Of course motherfucker." the one hand holding up his towel evidently becomes distracted as it goes to stroke the shorter man's hair. And of course, because of Karkats previous shifting the towel immediately fell. And also of course, this was a pothead and although currently was sober, was still a pothead. So of course he does not care about the towel..Nor does he notice. Doesn't notice anything much really, besides Karkat's hair. It really was shiny and soft, plus the stroking might calm, and comfort his best bro.
The stroking was more than comforting, and it felt like a breath of fresh air. Like maybe he could think straight. Maybe. He'd forgotten how to do that. Karkat really wanted his best friend to wrap the towel back around himself, but really, he didn't give a shit anymore. As much as he hated to admit it, even to himself, just knowing he had someone was the best thing he's felt in a while. It wasn't a bear hug this time, or some gross feely hug, just a normal hug. One where Karkat pulled Gamzee close to him and put his hands at the small of his back. Perfectly normal, even if only one of them clothed. "Why do you even put up with my bullsh-" Karkat was cut off. Neither of them had heard him enter, which was surprising. He only wanted to ask Gamzee's help with the groceries, and here was the little show he got. Maybe Gamzee was a little slow on the uptake, but Karkat knew what that expression was in moments. It was what he'd been feeling every time he even thought about Egbert. It was hurt.
"Tavros! Shit, this really really isn't what it looks like, we were just hugging and this dipshit over here, he just so happened, just so happened to be... naked."
Gamzee had grinned at the tenderness Karkat showed. And then he started speaking to someone he wasn't aware that was watching. And luckily his mind was fogged up by pot or anything because although he was still slow at figuring out what was happeneing. Sorting through it really, it would have been longer had he been completely high. And once had had digested the presence and the words spoken by Karkat, he grabbed his towel and rewrapped it around himself. "Shit." he say in a mere whisper to himself before turning to Tavros. "Shit...shit sorry." he mumbles, and for once. For the first motherfucking itme ni his life. Gamzee had nothing to say. His jaw was locked. His teeth were locked. And he had not one motherfucking thing to say. Not one. All he had was action, and that action was to run to his room and pulling on baggy unflattering, non-sexy clothes and rejoin the two males out in his kitchen as soon as possible. Did he look guilty? He felt all up and motherfucking guilty. He's not really sure motherfucking why. It was like Tavbro and him were exactly a 'thing.' Sure...Gamzee liked- And there in lie the problem. It was the sheer feelings he felt for the dude that made him feel the way did. Becase he liked him and he was int he kitchen stupidly hugging a guy. Why he was naked. Isnt that what people tell their children when they walkin on them having sex? 'Oh we were just hugging naked.' Well this was so motherfucking great. And he still didn't know what to say. His mind, his larynx might as well have been shriveling up and dying. Is this what Karkat had meant when he said worldclass asslick. Sure felt like it, and finally he had something to say. Something finally at last to say. It was truly defensive, he didn't deserve to be defensive. And it certaintly was not a long rant or something he could go on and on about for hours. It was exactly three short words. There are a lot of three word phrases. A few that would be perfect for this situation. There were thousands of words alone in the english dictionary that he could play pick and choose and match and whatnot with but he truly couldn't think of them. There were precisely three words he wanted to say to Tavros. No, they were not the three little words: 'I love you.' That had been the choice phrase for him once, it wasnt his phrase now. Although the same still rang true, he truly did love Tavros. So much. Of course he wouldn't say it. That'd be selfish. But no, he didn't want to feel like one of those guys in the movie who tried to weasle their way back with the girl that caught him cheating by saying i love you not her. It would be a lie to say he didn't love Karkat. He did not in the same way though. He wanted to say the same three words to him too. He really did. He wnated to elaborate them too, add thosands of adjectives to cause the phrase to grow in size, but then the meaning would lessen. So he said it, quick and simple. 'I am..sorry." it was very quiet. Very qiet indeed. And something in those four syllables triggered a part of his brain he didn't realize he had. He could not put a name to it though. It was a feeling. A complex feeling really and it went something along the lines of: I did this because I wasn't thinking. And what percesily had caused Gamzee to not think? The drugs, the drugs had wracked his brain. Completely and utterly. It had slowed down his brain process to a mere sludge. He shouldn't act like that. He really shouldn't. Perhaps this will just be a two second epiphany then I'll go back to smoking but..it was hard to get out oh his system. Truthfully. He realized how he had screwed up big time. Because, he could see the expression in Tavros' eyes. Pain. Hurt. Grievance. One of a martyr really. He looked like an innocent puppy that had been kicked without cause. No cause whatsoever. And truthfully there was no cause beyond stupidity. And thats what every cheater says. But it wasn't motherfucking cheating! He suddenly bursts to himself, eager to get this dangerous thought train out of his head. He didn't want to go motherfucking crazy. Depressed or anything. That would be beyond the purpose. God. Jesus. Slow breaths now. Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. And he feels it'll be better if he says the phrase in a way he knows for sure that they both heard it, they both take it as for them so again he says the phrase. "I'm sorry." but he doesn't stop after once or twice. Not until he has said teh phrase about six times does he stop and look down. He wasn't even worthy of a ragal sounding name like asslick. Smething grubbier. Worse among profanity. Something absolutely rotten, and for what? Hugging someone? It was truly ludicrous, but that look. That look. The one in his eyes. It burned.
