i Love to Hate You
A/N: Hey there! I know you've waited a ridiculously long time for any of my stories to be updated; I'm sorry, I've been (surprise) busy. If I was you, I would be mad at me, but I'm not you, so you'll forgive me, right? Haha! Anyways, if you skipped right to this chapter, go back and read the first one, I've changed it from just an A/N. (If all you read before was just an A/N.) Chapter 1 is there.
I have a correction to make: instead of "Oh, sorry. I was just imagining the torture of being trapped with Freddie in here." Sam is supposed to say, "Oh sorry. I was just imagining the torture of being trapped with Freddie in there any longer."
Okay, I'm going to harass you people into leaving a lot of reviews this time! :) This is an "if-y" story right now. I'm not really sure how good or bad it is. It's kinda different from my other stories, but it's a good different. Most of the stories on here about iCarly, which I don't own by the way, are about Sam and Freddie getting together, but not going beyond when they did get together. So I really like this story, but at the same time, I'm not sure how well I'm doing. REVIEW PLEASE! If you do, then the next chapter's A/N will be super short! Come on, I know you want a short one compared to this!
I'm tossing and turning in my sleeping bag. I'm in Carly's room, sleeping over yet again. I look at the clock- it's 2:35 AM, I still have ten more minutes. Ten horridly long minutes…
At 2:45 every 1st and 3rd Friday of the month, Freddie and I set up for our "Wake Up Spencer" web segments. We used to set up spontaneously, but after about a little less than a year of mismanaged (and few) episodes, we decided that it would work better if we set up a schedule.
I sigh and get up off the floor. I walk downstairs and sit on the couch. Carly is still snoring upstairs…well, it's not like I can hear her (she's not like Spencer) but she always has this little funny soft snore I tease her about. The point is that I'm awake and she's not. She always sleeps through these ordeals.
She knows it's a special thing between Freddie and me. I still don't understand why Carly never wanted to join in, but I'm glad. It gives us more alone time.
As I sit on the couch, I start to drift back to sleep. My mind is in a fog and I'm almost asleep but then I think of Freddie and I'm instantly awake.
My mind is drifting in a dream-like way, but I'm fully awake…and I'm thinking of Freddie…our secret…
I want to walk down the school halls holding his hand and let everyone know I am his and he is mine. But knowing how everyone would react- the stir we would cause- and not knowing how Freddie feels about exposing us makes it an awkward and formidable topic to discuss at the least. I mean, we've been together for so long, but we've just always kept our love a secret…
I take my phone out of my pocket. I see the date and realize (once again, not for the first time) it's our two year anniversary. Two whole wonderful years they were, but they were deceptive and hidden years. Things would have been so much more different if we would have let everyone know…but I don't know if it would have been good-different or bad-different.
I know it's sorta not romantic to do a "Wake Up Spencer" segment on our anniversary, but it's a great reminder of what kinda started our relationship and we're alone…well, Spencer is there, but you know what I mean. It's something fun that just we do. It's one of our "things".
I click on my "Contacts" button and ignore this little nagging voice in the back of my mind that always intrudes on the moments I have with Freddie. It's repeating that the longer we hide this, the worse things will be when we are exposed. I keep ignoring it- saying it'll never happen.
So I ignore the voice as usual (but never block it out entirely) and scroll down my contacts to the one labeled "Dork". Carly sometimes uses my phone and I can't let her get suspicious now can I? I thought so.
"Hello?" He answers, half asleep.
"Freddie, it's Sam. WAKE UP!"
"Okay, okay already! I'm up. I'll meet you over there in a sec…Happy 2nd year." I was happy he remembered in his coma-like sleep state.
"Back at you. See you soon. Love 'ya." I'm anxious to get off the phone and see him.
"Love you too, Sam."
He's always so perfect…down to his grammar. He remembers dates like anniversaries and my birthday and tons of things I never thought he would do. He's surprisingly sweeter than I ever thought he would be.
As I waited for him to come over, I remembered the first time Freddie and I did a "Wake Up Spencer" segment…things were just a tad different back then…
Flashback (A/N: I think I inserted a line break here, 'cause it's showing up, but whenever I upload the document to my Fanfiction documents, the line breaks always disappear! So, please, someone please help me with that! You'll get a virtual cookie.)
I stared at him; he was sleeping. I got closer and closer until my face was practically right up against his. I was super nervous to how Freddie would react, but before I had any time to think, he woke up. It's kind of funny to think that things actually happened like around him back then- so unplanned and unrehearsed. It was so much more carefree then…
"SAM?" He freaks out and stares at me like he thinks he must still be dreaming.
"Good morning." I say innocently.
"What are you doing here!"
"Shush, you'll wake up your mom."
"W-What are you doing in here?" He asks again, but this time without yelling.
"I came to tell you about this great idea I just had." I lied. I had been planning this for months, putting it off and putting it off. At the time, I had such a big crush on Freddie. As much as I wanted to be around him, I also didn't want to because I was childishly scared of the insecure way he made me feel. This night, however, I had had enough of my fears. I was going to put my plans into action slowly, starting with my iCarly website ideas.
"Wait a minute," He started looking around the room, slowly realizing how bizarre this was. "How'd you get in here?"
"I have my ways." I answered slyly.
"But we're not on the ground floor! And you weren't over at Carly's and the front door was triple locked with our new security locks!" He burst out, puzzled.
I shushed him and said, "I know." That's when I learned that if I wanted to do something bad enough, I'd do it. (There's a large tree on the side of the building and they don't lock their windows…)
He sat up in his bed, still looking at me funny and said, "So what's your idea that was so good you had to wake me up for?"
"Well…I thought that we could do this segment for iCarly."
"And you needed to wake me up for it?" I ignored that.
"It wouldn't be during an iCarly webcast, it's actually during the morning…but early morning, like now."
"So like a separate segment that'll be on the site?" Good, he had caught on early. I mentally deleted the next three lines of the conversation in my head and went ahead to what made sense…since I had this half-way planned.
"Yeah…" There was an awkward silence as I froze up for a moment; I had been looking into his eyes for too long and looked away quickly in embarrassment.
"So what is it? I mean, I guess I'm awake now, so show me."
"Uh…Well, we have to go over to Carly's."
"Okay." He acted as if that was no big deal, which puzzled me. He must have seen my suspicious expression because he lamely added, "Yay" after three seconds.
"But we have to be very quiet." I added. Freddie nodded in agreement. He got out of bed and I couldn't help myself- I had to laugh. He was wearing cowboy pajamas with those covered feet things!
"My mom has bad taste and she insists, okay?" It was too dark to see but I'm sure he blushed. "You can go and undo the security system, you probably know how; I'll get changed." I followed his orders and left the room.
I undid two of the locks, one a twisting one and the other a latch, and then peered at the last one. It looked like one of those scanners at hotels. I was about to go ask Freddie what to do, but then realized he would find that weird. I would never ask him for help in my right mind…or at least a not-crushed-out Sam wouldn't.
I thought about where Freddie's mom would hide the scan card. Hopefully it wouldn't be in her bedroom. Nah, even if there was one in her bedroom, there would be a spare one around here for "emergencies".
The potted plant caught my eye- it was new. I felt in between the leaves- they were plastic. I couldn't find the card. Maybe it was under the plant. I tugged on the fake stems and then the fake soil, which was attached to the stems, came up. Underneath it, inside the clay pot, was a card. I smiled to myself and swiped it by the sensor.
The scanner lit up and I heard a clicking sound. Just then, Freddie came out of his room. He had changed into jeans and a dark purple zip-up jacket that was similar to mine (but without light purple hearts sporadically placed all over it).
"Figure it out?" He asked.
"Easy. The card was in the plant. Let's go." He laughed a quiet laugh I assumed was at my extreme eagerness. This had been planned for so long; I needed it to work.
I stepped into the hall with Freddie right behind me. I opened Carly's door. Spencer was always forgetting to lock up at night.
"So what are we doing?"
"Oh, right…" I was so stupid. I had forgotten to explain exactly what we were gonna do! "Well, this is just a test run. If it goes well, then it can be a regular segment. We're gonna go into Spencer's room and ask him totally random and pointless questions. His responses will be super funny, trust me. Carly and I used to do this a lot when we were in elementary school when I slept over."
"Okay…And how would this be filmed?"
"You would just bring your camera over here. You can hold it instead of putting it on a tripod. And you can ask questions while you're filming. I won't be the only questioner."
I thought he was going to reject the idea right there. He wouldn't want to sneak his precious camera past his mom, let alone sneak out a lot. He could "get in trouble".
"That sounds great. Instead of waiting 'til next time, I'll go get my camera now." He walked slowly out the door, being extremely quiet. I couldn't stop grinning. Freddie Benson- unpredictable? Wow.
Maybe this was gonna work- my own segment with him…But when he came back I had to mention the one thing that would "rock my world" or "blast it apart like dynamite" depending on his response.
"Hey, I'm back."
"Okay," I managed not to scream, my back had been towards the door and I hadn't seen him come in, "Let's do this." I avoided bringing up the question. I would ask it afterward.
We went down Spencer's hallway, past his bathroom and into his room. I had no idea what I was going to talk about, but that's what made this fun.
"Do you know what you're gonna say?" Freddie questioned.
"Not at all, but turn on the camera." I whispered back.
"In 5…4…3…2…" He motioned that I was on.
"Hey there, iCarly viewers. Do you know why I'm whispering? It's because it's-", I glanced at Spencer's alarm clock, "2:57 in the morning and we're- that's Freddie and I, Carly's asleep- are introducing a new segment. We're calling it…uh," I improvised on the spot and yelled the next part, "WAKE UP SPENCER!"
"What, huh?" Spencer groaned.
"We're gonna ask him some questions. Let's see how he answers. Freddie, first question, please."
"Amazing! Sam said 'please', this is historical, people!" I glared at Freddie. He smiled and then yelled, "Spencer, how many toes do you have?"
"Ahh, I'm trying…sleep." Freddie glanced at me, worried. He thought it wasn't working, but it would. Spencer just wasn't confused yet.
"What is the capital of Wyoming?" I yelled to Spencer.
"Ten toes?" We laughed at him which seemed to confuse him more.
"What are those hard plastic things on the ends of shoelaces called?"
"Uh…toes?"
"Recite pi to one thousand digits!" I demanded.
"Pittsburg!" Freddie and I were laughing so hard- Pittsburg was in Pennsylvania, not Wyoming; we didn't know where that had come from.
"Which sculpture is your favorite?" Freddie asked.
"Shoelaces…"
"What is the scientific name of quail?" I managed to choke out without laughing.
"3.14 toes?"
"Okay Spencer, last question, which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Freddie laughed out, very amused.
"Quail!" I couldn't stop laughing at Spencer, so Freddie talked to the camera instead.
"Okay, iCarly viewers, we're gonna wrap things up here. We'll be back soon! Leave lots of reviews." He shut it off, laughing as we walked out of Spencer's room. "That was really funny, Sam. Good idea."
"Thanks! I think we should go a little longer next time, but that was great for our first episode."
"Episode?"
"I meant segment." I rolled my eyes. He made me forget words, but it wasn't my fault.
"Wait just a second. I'm gonna go put my camera away. I'll put that on the site tomorrow, with some effects and stuff..."
"Yeah, you can geek it up." He ignored my comment and left with his camera.
Things had gone better than I had expected them to. I quickly ran into Spencer's room.
"Thanks for going along with it."
"Oh, you're welcome." He responded, fully awake. I handed him his rightfully earned ten bucks…
End of Flashback
Freddie walked in through the door.
"Hey there." I got up and gave him a hug.
"Guess what I was just thinking of?"
"What?"
"Our first "Wake Up Spencer" segment."
"Oh, that, ha. You know, I never asked you how you got inside my room."
"And you'll never know." I teased. He put on his "sad eyes". "Don't make that face, Freddie!" I laughed and he laughed with me.
"Don't keep secrets, Sam."
"Why are you bringing up the window after so much time?" I asked quickly, feeling guilty about one more thing I never told him- Spencer always fakes it.
"Window?"
"Darn it." I sighed. "Even now, you make me mess up words."
"Yeah, I'm amazing like that." He joked. "So my window…should I ask how?"
"Not your bedroom window…and no, some things should remain a secret." I used a funny, falsely mysterious voice.
"Let's go film, it's already 2:46."
"We're late, go!" I whisper-shouted. We ran into Spencer's bedroom, ready to film. After finishing a hilarious segment concerning buffalo, ballerinas, the country Turkey and what finished off the dinosaurs, Freddie and I snuck back to his apartment.
"Did you know that the people of Turkey caused the dinosaurs to disappear?" Freddie shook his head, grinning about our latest "Wake Up Spencer". We went into his bedroom, for that's where he kept his camera.
"I have something for you." I smiled, remembering my gift.
"Oh yeah? Well my present will totally beat yours. It's a two-part present."
"Where would this two-part present be?" I pretended to think really hard, tapping a finger to my chin.
"Go to the fridge." My eyes lit up and I moved as fast as I could without making a sound over to his fridge. I opened it and inside sat a huge ham with a green bow on top.
"Ham!"
"Shh!" He reminded me. I thanked him with a hug. "When you leave, you can take it with you over to Carly's…just tell her…uh…"
"That I brought it over yesterday and she just didn't notice because it was in the very back and that it's my spare supply?"
"Yes, very good. How are you so great with making things up like that?"
"How else could I avoid half of the detentions I deserve?"
"Being good for a change?" He teased. You see, before, we always used to bicker in an insult the other person way. We would always try to "win". Now our teasing is milder and we're not competing. I think teasing always be something we'll do. We're just so different, but then again, there's that whole "opposites attract" thing.
"So…"
"So what?" He didn't know what I was hinting after.
"So where's the second half of my present?" I smiled. I knew he would get me food instead of flowers. I'd rather have food and if I'm carrying around food, that's easier to explain than flowers.
We go back to his room and he opens the bottom drawer of his dresser. That's where he usually keeps important documents and iCarly plans and "refrigerator-worthy" school work. He looks around in there for a second and then pulls out a small, dark red, velvet box. It's kinda like a wedding ring box, only it's not since it's bigger and I know it's not.
"For you…" I open the box and look inside. There's this super cute spiral necklace inside. It was silver with three very real-looking diamonds at the top in the curl.
"Oh my gosh, thank you so much, Freddie, it's so beautiful!"
"You're welcome. You don't know the other part yet, either." He's looking at me and smiling, happy from making me happy. "I have the other half."
"Other half?"
"Yeah, it forms a heart if you put the too halves together." I got it-it's a curved question mark without a dot below it, and with a curl at the top, so it there's another one facing the opposite direction, it would form a heart.
"I never thought you were capable of all this mushy-gushy stuff." I tease.
"I never thought you would appreciate all this mushy-gushy stuff." He says in return.
"True." I concede. I go back to admiring my necklace. "Freddie, I really, really love this, but I don't know how to explain it to everyone else…I couldn't afford this on my own."
I felt a little embarrassed, but Freddie didn't seem full of concern, pity, or disgust, so that eased some of my tenseness.
"Well, I was thinking that it's a special "thanks for coming" charm that we both got from a camp. That's why we both have one. And mine's on my backpack as a keychain and you wear yours like a necklace."
"That's a good idea, but what kinda camp would interest both of us?"
"Uh, well it could be a camp from a couple years ago that happened during those two weeks or so Spencer and Carly went on vacation without us for once. And it should be something that interests you more. My mom could have forced me into it."
I thought for a little bit. "Cooking! I love food and your mom wanted you to expand your horizons with learning how to cook." I exclaimed, happy I fixed our problem.
"And she wanted me to learn health stuff." But of course she would, that would make sense. We did it again. We were awesome at fabricating this stuff.
"There we go! Problem solved. Thank you so much, Freddie, I really love this necklace. But next time, don't spend so much on me."
"Okay, I just won't get you a ham next time." He laughs. And I can't help it. I laugh too.
"Okay, now it's time for your present." I smile. I reach into my back pocket and pull out a folded piece of paper. "Here." I hand it to him; he's puzzled.
He unfolds, which takes a little bit of time since I folded it like 4 or five times and he's being careful with it. "Uh, what does it say?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Freddie. I forgot it would be too dark to read since it's in really small print." I apologized; upset I didn't remember this crucial detail.
"It's okay…you know what…I'm going to "go to the bathroom". Then I'll be able to turn the lights on. Come with me, I'm sure you want to see my reaction to whatever this is."
It's when Freddie does things like this; I wonder how Freddie and I stay together. We're total opposites. I get really upset and beat myself up over these trivial matters while Freddie stays relatively calm. It makes me feel unworthy.
He also gets these great grades in upper level classes while I have to try my hardest to maintain my Cs and one B. Grades used to not matter to me, but now I've realized that they will separate Freddie and me, come graduation. He has the option of becoming this great doctor or lawyer or director…anything he wants to be, while I'm reduced to garbage woman or a hobo.
But I'd rather be with him because without him, I would have never realized that I have to power to change what I will become. Freddie balances me out, tries to polish my rough edges. I've changed a lot (and for the better) because of him, but I can't show anyone, which limits my growth.
I hate not telling about us.
"Okay, get ready; I'm gonna turn the lights on." I shut my eyes and heard Freddie close the bathroom door. He flicked the light switch on.
"Ow." I muttered; the light hurt even though my eyes were closed. I slowly opened my eyes until they adjusted.
I saw Freddie's face turn to shock as he read the official-looking certificate, telling him he had been accepted into a nation-wide fencing competition. To my amusement, he started stuttering, "H-how?"
"I was wearing the hat cam when you were showing off to Carly last year." He looked at me, amazed while I had on a smug smile. The things I was able to do for him… "I entered your name and information to them last Monday. You'll see them the Friday after next for cuts, but you'll make it for sure."
"I-I don't know what to say, Sam, except for thanks a billion! You're so amazing." I smiled; he didn't know how much more amazing he was than me- ironic.
"Happy anniversary, Freddie."
"Am I sensing a hug?" He asks, jokingly. I barely have time to wrap my arms around him, however, when I hear footsteps.
He looks at me, worried. "It' my mom! Get behind the shower curtain!" He hands me his certificate as I step into the shower. I held my breath as Freddie's mom knocked on the door and entered.
A/N: ooh, suspenseful. I would really, really, super really, apperciate any feedback. By the way, you'll learn about more Seddie moments from earlier on in their relationship and Sam's question for Freddie ("tear her world apart or rock it" thing). And those things on the ends of shoelaces are called aglets. Yeah...so review please.
And do you people like longer chapters or shorter chapters? This is kinda long, so I'm just wondering. The next one won't be as long.
With all my purple fuzzleness,
the-purple-fuzzle
