Chapter two

"We'll book you an appointment at the doctors, for as soon as possible, what else can we do?" Mike said softly, sounding uncertain himself.
"Then what?" Jessica asked, feeling even more confused.
"We can discuss what the options are," he answered, fudging a plan.
"I thought we agreed that there was only one." Jessica looked in his eyes, almost searching for an answer. Mike shrugged.
"We don't have to decide just yet."
"We can't keep it. It wouldn't work, it couldn't work," she whispered. The thought of having the baby hadn't even really entered her head, she hadn't let it.
"Why not?" He wondered bluntly. She couldn't believe her ears. She was pregnant with Mike McAllery's child and he was actually saying they might be able to keep the baby. She'd expected him to lose it completely if he ever found out.
"Lot's of reasons, what about my college work?"
"You could still go to college. SVU has a nursery right?" He enquired, trying to figure through the options they had left for them.
"Mike I'd have to go to work full time. We'd need the money if we had a child to support," she replied, shaking her head.
"Not necessarily, I could work longer hours, my business brings in quite a lot remember."
"What about us? We would never see each other, you'd be at work all the time." She still refused to imagine there was a choice. She'd had it all planned in her head that she going to have an abortion and that he would never need to find out. Now that plan was in turmoil and so were her emotions.
"I'll make time for you and the baby," he assured her. He didn't elaborate any further, unsure how he'd juggle it himself. She sighed out loud.
"Mike this is so complicated it just wouldn't work." "I don't know what we should do," he admitted, feeling as confused as her.
"We can't get carried away, the problem could be over in a few days if I have an abortion," she reminded him truthfully. That still made the most sense for her. Mike stifled a yawned. "Can we talk about this in the morning? I'm so tired I can't even think straight," he murmured, needing to get his thoughts in order. She nodded in agreement, she felt exhausted too. "I'll phone the doctors in the morning."

They sat in the doctor's office waiting anxiously for him to return, fidgeting awkwardly in their seats.
"You nervous? Because I definitely am." Mike whispered, leaning close to Jessica. He tightened his grip on her hand, his palm was sweating against hers.
"Maybe just a little," she smiled weakly, trying to relax her body. The door opened behind them and the doctor walked in. He sat down and smiled at her, she gulped sensing what he was about to say.
"Mrs. McAllery, the test confirmed that you're pregnant." The air felt like it been drained from the room. She couldn't speak, she'd known this was going to be the result but hearing it spoken sent chills through her. Mike took hold of her other hand to comfort her.
"How far along?" He whispered looking at the doctor, speaking for his wife.
"The dates she gave me and the sample indicated about four weeks." Jessica looked up.
"It's not possible I'm too far gone to have an abortion is it?" The doctor shook his head.
"No, but you should be aware that the procedure is more complicated the longer you wait," he explained patiently.
"What if we want to keep it? What happens then?" Mike enquired. Jessica looked across at him suprised.
"I'll refer you to a midwife who will examine your wife and be on hand through out her pregnancy and the labour. Also for any help you need after the birth" There was a silence. Jessica stood up ready to leave, she needed to think it through by herself or at least away from here. She'd never felt so much pressure on one decision in her life.
"Thank you for helping us but we'd better let you see some other patients now." She forced a stiff smile and Mike shook the doctor's hand. Mike put his arm around her waist protectively and led her to the Corvette. He opened the door of the car for her and walked around to
the driver's side. He started up the engine, neither of them speaking.
"What do you want?" He asked looking straight ahead. Jessica was looking out the window, scared that if she looked at him she wouldn't be able to think clearly.
"I don't know what I want, but I do know we can't keep it, it wouldn't be practical."
"I don't think I've ever heard you use the word practical," he teased smiling.
"Mike this is serious," she snapped. She needed him to understand that.
"I know but we could keep it. Like I said last night we'd manage somehow," he told her casually.
"Mike is that what you want? It's an extremely big responsibility you know."
"I don't know what I want either, but I do love you, and I don't think I want to just get rid of our baby."
"I love you too, but we could wait for the right time, when we're ready," she said simply, trying to be sensible about their future.
"I just don't think it's the baby's fault it happened now. We knew the risks," he tried to explain his feelings. "Don't you wonder what it would be like if we kept it?" He couldn't stop wondering what it might look like, his head wouldn't quit going over it.
"Of course I do, but what if we keep it and it's the wrong choice, what if hormones are just making me emotional," she replied, looking to him for reassurance that she was going to make the right decision.
"Only you know if you're willing to take that risk, I don't think anyone can help being emotional about this."
"I just don't know how I feel. I thought you were going to tell me I only had one option, to get rid of it." He looked slightly hurt at her insinuation. She stared at him, wondering whether to say what she wanted to say or not. "Mike you do understand it's got to be my decision." Mike nodded nervously.
"You think about it and I'll try not to interfere, I promise," he agreed surprisingly, looking back over at her. He looked relieved that the situation was being taken out of his hands. He didn't want to be responsible for the decision. "But you know me. I want everything my own way."
"And so do I," she acknowledged, as confused as ever. She knew what her heart wanted, her marriage to be perfect, a successful career and to keep her baby but her head doubted that if she had this baby now she would ever get the other two.

Later that night Jessica was sat on the bed, waiting for Mike to finish getting ready for bed in the bathroom, trying to think through the situation. Her head was racing from all the thoughts going through it.

He says he'll help if I keep it now but what about in twelve months when he has to work who knows what hours to make ends meet and the baby cries constantly. It'll be me he takes it out on then, shouting at me all the time and getting angry at me. She sighed out loud. That's not fair, the other side of her brain argued, we've been fighting a lot lately but I have to take some responsibility for my side of the arguments. How could I lie to him all the time and refuse to tell my parents and still claim I was trying my best? They have to know if the marriage is going to have any chance to last, we need their support and I promised him.
And what excuse do I have for ending the pregnancy? It's not like I'm going to be a single mother and there was no way I could cope, I'm a married woman and he wants to take care of us. At least he says he does. But how can I explain to my parents I'm married and pregnant, all in the mouths since they last saw me, they'd hate me forever, they'd never want to see me again. She laid back down on the pillow and tears spilled down on to it. The bathroom door opened and Mike looked at her, he quickly walked around to her side of the bed when he realised she was crying and took her into his arms.
"Jess, what's wrong?" He asked anxiously, touching her face.
"Mike I've made my decision," she choked out, trying to sound more certain than she felt. "I want to keep it." He nodded and pulled her even closer to him.

Elizabeth walked down the path and saw Todd heading to a class. "Hi stranger," she called to him with a bright smile. He turned and smiled back at her.
"I was going to come over and see you, I brought tickets for a jazz concert tonight," he informed her.
"Great, what time are you coming to get me?" She asked happily, glad that their relationship was slowly getting back to normal. She knew she'd made the right choice.
"I'll pick you up from the dorm about seven okay?" "Perfect." "Where were you heading?" He enquired casually.
"Over to the philosophy department. Jess has a class at ten and I need to speak to her," she told him, hoping she sounded casual too. She didn't want to admit how worried she was about her sister. Todd didn't like her at the best of times and it would only lead to an argument.
"Oh well I'd better get going so I don't miss class." He gave her a quick kiss before running off.

Jessica was crouched over the toilet in her apartment, clutching her stomach. It had come on as soon as she had opened her eyes and she had shoved Mike's arms, which had been holding her, off her jolting him awake and ran straight for the bathroom. There was a soft tapping on the door and she groaned. She couldn't face a conversation right now.
"Jess I'm going to head off to work now. What are you doing in there? Are you Okay?" Mike called sounding anxious. She forced herself to her feet and opened the door, meeting his concerned gaze, she couldn't just leave him worrying.
"I'm not going to class today. I feel awful, I think I must have my first bout of morning sickness or something," she answered with a sigh. "Saying that, I didn't feel so well a few days ago either but I convinced myself it was just a bug."
"Are you sure it's morning sickness? Do you want to come to work with me today? That way I can keep an eye on you." He pushed her hair back behind her ears tenderly, looking at her face.
"Mike I'm sure it's just morning sickness and no I think I'd rather stay here in our nice clean bathroom than over that horrible toilet in your garage." She made a disgusted face and he laughed. Suddenly she put her hand over her mouth and quickly ran back to the toilet. He crouched behind her and gently stroked the back of her head. The concerned look
came back on his face.
"Are you sure you're okay? I could stay home and take care of you," he offered, not happy about leaving her in this state.
"No we're going to need all the money we can get. Besides who knows how often this could happen. You can't stay off every time," she said truthfully. She stood up. "I'm going to call the doctor and get him to refer me to a midwife and see if she can call around today to discuss everything that needs sorting out at the moment. It'll save me having another day off." She tried to sound confident about what she was doing so he would go, she'd rather be left in peace when she felt like this.
"Okay I'll see you later then." He was still lingering and she ushered him out of the bathroom door, wanting to get some privacy at last.

"Hi come in. I'm really sorry I'm not even dressed," Jessica said referring to her night dress and robe as she opened the door for the midwife, feeling embarrassed at her appearance. "It's just that I've been feeling awful all morning and I just couldn't face it." She led the midwife into the living room.
"That's okay I've seen a lot worse," she laughed happily, clearly unconcerned. "So you've been suffering with morning sickness?" Jessica nodded. "Well I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about that except offer a few housewives tips."
"I'd be grateful for anything," Jessica said, forcing a smile and gesturing for the midwife to sit down. She'd been hoping there might be some medication she could take for it.
"I'm here to help," she told her, matching her smile. "So how many weeks along are you?"
"Four or so," Jessica replied with a shrug.
"Well, at the moment there's very little I can do for you, the next big date is a scan at three months. People don't tend to make any big announcement before then as the first trimester is the most risky time."
"I might have trouble keeping it secret," she laughed, her mouth had a tendency to run away with her at times.
"Don't worry a lot of people do, believe me," the midwife assured her. "So how do you feel about being pregnant? What about the father?" The midwife stopped and looked embarrassed. "Sorry I don't mean to sound nosy." Jessica decided to be as honest as could about her feelings however muddled up the were.
"I'm extremely nervous, it only felt real for the first time this morning, I mean seeing the effect it was having on my body. As for the father I think he was mixed up to begin with but now I think he's happy about it," she told her, hoping she was right. She knew deep down that Mike was probably still mixed up about it but at least they'd made a decision together.
"So do you share this apartment with your boyfriend?"
"Well yes with my husband."
"You're married?" The midwife sounded surprised. Jessica nodded, not sure whether to be offended by the shock or not. The phone rang interrupting their conversation.
"I have a feeling that will be the man of the moment. This morning I practically had to throw him out the door," she said rolling her eyes, though really she was relieved that he was that interested.
"Hello," Jessica said awkwardly into the phone, not really wanting to have a conversation in front of the midwife but she knew he'd only get upset if she didn't pick it up.
"Hi sweetie," Jessica answered softly.
"Yes I'm fine. I'm feeling a lot better at the moment," she said rolling her eyes again at the midwife, who smiled.
"Um she's here at the moment."
"Okay I'll see you later, bye." She hung up the phone.
"God I don't know if I can put up with this for another eight months," Jessica joked, trying to be more light hearted about the situation than she actually felt.
"I think you'll manage."
"So where were we?" Jessica quipped, changing the conversation.
"Well I'll talk to you about some remedies a lot of women use to cope with morning sickness." Jessica smiled and nodded as the midwife launched into all the details. For the first time she felt in control of the situation. Mike had always been protective of her but now it felt natural and comforting not smothering like it had before.

Elizabeth was anxiously tapping her foot as she stood at side the building where Jessica's class was, it was ten thirty already. Where was she? She eventually gave up waiting and headed to her own class. Later that night Elizabeth drove through the warm evening to Jessica's apartment complex, worrying why she hadn't been at school all day. At least she didn't have to feel nervous about Mike being there anymore, she comforted herself, after their meal together the other night she knew he would at least be polite but that didn't mean she was looking forward to it especially if Jessica an Mike had had an argument. She pulled into a parking space and climbed out of the jeep.

Mike and Jessica were sat on the couch in their apartment. She was snuggled against him and they were feeding each other Chinese food.
"You didn't have to come home early you know. I was fine," she told him, picking up some food with her chopsticks.
"But I missed you," he said, pretending to pout.
"You're not going to be like this for the next eight mouths are you?" She sighed, she wasn't sure she could face that.
"Probably and I'll be worse after the baby's born," he joked. Jessica leaned back against the arm of the sofa on her elbows. "You'd better not be," she said in mock serious. "Although if it means I see more of you, that might be a plus," she told him, trying to look at a good point from the situation. At least if he was worried about her he would want to spent as much time with her as possible and she couldn't imagine they would get a lot of time together if he was going to be concentrating on earning money for them. They both burst out laughing, looking across at each other. He lifted her top up slightly and leaned over to kiss her bare stomach where the baby was affectionately, sending shivers up her spine. He lifted his head and looked up into her eyes. He pulled up her top further and she stretched her arms up so he could take it off completely. He crawled on top off her and kissed her passionately. Her hands explored his strong back and he reached around her to unhook her bra. His mouth moved to her breasts as it came off and she moaned softly, he then let his hands explore all the curves of his wife's body.

Liz nervously pushed the door, which was slightly ajar, open and walked into the apartment afraid she'd find it like she had that night of parents' weekend after Jessica and Mike had had a huge row. She walked cautiously into the living room, scared to make too much noise, almost like she expected someone to jump out on her. She froze suddenly a look of embarrassed horror on her face.
"Oh god, Liz," Jessica screamed, looking over at her and wrapping her arms hastily around herself. Mike sat up quickly, moving away from her.
"I'll just go," Liz stammered, hurrying out the door, wanting to get away as soon as possible. Jessica quickly grabbed her top and rushed to catch up with her, they needed to talk.
"Wait Liz," Jessica called, finally catching up with her in the foyer of the apartment building.
"I'm really sorry about that, it's just the door was open and -," I was worried, she thought but she didn't say it out loud, she didn't want to get anymore embarrassed.
"It was our fault we should have made sure it was closed," Jessica said blushing, wanting to save her sister some embarrassment. "I mean it's not like it's a big deal, we're married, that's what married people do," Jessica continued, trying to laugh off the situation.
"Well I only came around to see how you are, so I'd better go. Todd's taking me out," Liz said uneasily, still just wanting to get away from here.
"You and Todd are back together?" She asked shocked, she'd thought her twin was finished with boring as toast Wilkins for good.
"Yes," Elizabeth said not elaborating, Jessica had never liked him and she didn't want to get into a conversation about it with her. She waved at Jessica and turned to leave.
"Liz don't go yet, I've got some news too," Jessica called suddenly, needing to get it off her chest.
"What is it Jess?" She asked nervously, normally news from her sister was never good.
"It's good news really." Jessica hesitated, not sure how Elizabeth was going to react to this. She didn't want to keep another secret from her twin. "I'm expecting a baby."
"What?" Jessica couldn't have said what Liz thought she'd heard.
"I'm expecting a baby," she repeated, smiling to cover up the nervousness. Liz didn't have any idea what to say. She couldn't even take it in.
"Well if your happy I guess it's good news," Liz said uncertainly, putting her arms around her twin, not wanting to be the one who pointed out the pitfalls of the situation, she was tired of that role. Jessica would do what she wanted anyway "What about Mike?"
"He knows about it, we've been to the doctors together and everything," she said lightly, not wanting to talk about how mixed up they were both feeling.
"And he's fine about it?" Liz enquired surprised, she couldn't imagine he'd been overjoyed about it. Jessica nodded.
"He was the one who convinced me to keep it," she murmured, she'd been as surprised as her sister at his reaction.
"Is that why you weren't at school today?" Liz asked with a certain amount of relief.
"Yeah I had morning sickness." Neither of them said anything for a few moments. Jessica hugged Elizabeth.
"Thanks for not telling me I'm stupid," Jessica whispered, relieved to have Liz's support.
"That's okay." Elizabeth sighed, realising how difficult this was going to be. "But you have bigger problems."
"Like what?"
"Mum and Dad," she said simply. They both laughed.
"Don't remind me," Jessica cried.

Jessica headed back up to her apartment as Steven headed down the stairs to the mail box. He shifted through his and Billie's mail. It was just the usual bills and junk mail.
"You must be so excited," the woman next to him said, smiling across at him.
"Why?" Steven was at a complete loss as to why he should be excited. He hadn't been excited about anything since Jessica starting seeing McAllery. He did nothing but worry.
"Your sister being pregnant and all," she cried, looking puzzled at his lack of understanding.
"What? My sister is not pregnant," he told her firmly, completely confused about what the woman was going on about.
"But your sister is the young girl that lives into 2A right?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.
Steven nodded nervously, this conversation was starting to fill him with dread.
"Well I just heard her talking to her twin, saying that she was expecting a baby and
something about doing nothing wrong since they were married. Which is odd as
I thought they were just living together," she rushed on, clearly fishing for more information.
Steven felt like the air had been drained from his body. Not only had his fears, which he had had since that fateful evening in the parking lot, about Jessica and Mike being married been confirmed, but she was pregnant? He forced a smile for the nosy woman.
"Yes great isn't it?" He said with as much emotion as he could muster. He ran up the stairs to Jessica's apartment and pounded on the door.

"Okay, Okay on my way," Jessica called in irritation, she wrenched open the door. She stared in shock at the hard look on Steven's face. She stepped out into the hall and shut the door so Mike wouldn't hear, sensing this wasn't going to be pleasant and not wanting to involve her husband. She'd been dreading this conversation since she came back home but so far Steven had stayed away. Maybe because he was afraid of hearing the truth.
"So it's true what McAllery said then?" He asked bitterly. Jessica looked away and sighed. She still couldn't bring herself to say it to him.
"His name is Mike, Steven and I don't want fight with you." Jessica answered trying in usual Jessica style to avoid the question.
"I'd have thought more of you if you'd just been honest back then instead of running away like a twelve year old," he said in a disappointed tone, shaking his head. She didn't answer. Jessica couldn't help feeling ashamed of herself. All her life, no matter how many stupid things she had done, Steven had been one of her biggest cheerleaders. She thought of all her schemes and all the lies she had told, like when she tried to convince Liz it was her Todd wanted even going so far as to tell Liz he had groped her at a party. She'd thought by the time she was married she would have grown up and stopped behaving like that. But now even her marriage was built on lies, she fought against a wrenching feeling in her gut.
"Steven you hate Mike, how was I suppose to tell you?" She asked looking into his eyes, trying to forget her concerns and be honest with him. Steven sighed and looked as if he grudgingly understood where she was coming from.
"I just can't believe you've screwed up so badly." Steven murmured. "But maybe we can put it right. We can get a lawyer to file for divorce and book you in to an abortion clinic as soon as possible." Jessica was shocked that Steven knew she was pregnant and appalled he would suggest a termination when they hadn't even discussed anything about it together.
"I'm not having an abortion," she answered sharply starting to feel angry and upset with her brother, she needed his support.
"Okay you can give it up for adoption," he said simply, misunderstanding her reluctance.
"I'm keeping it Steven," she said irritated. Why wouldn't he listen to her?
"You can't bring it up on your own," he told her dismissing the notion, wishing she wouldn't make it so difficult for him to sort out the situation.
"I won't have to. Mike will be there," she informed him. Steven laughed indignantly.
"What for two weeks?" He asked snidely, he couldn't believe his sister was being this stupid. Jessica's anger bubbled over. She shook her head astonished.
"I should have known. This isn't about helping me," she screamed. "It's about running my life." She opened the door to her apartment and slammed it in his face.

Steven stared at the closed door in bewilderment. He hadn't meant to sound as controlling as he had but it was his nature, he just wanted what was right for everyone and he couldn't see how Jessica staying with McAllery would be good for anyone. He walked up the stairs to his apartment, shaking his head. He just didn't know how to handle this anymore. Billie's head popped up from behind the couch as he came in.
"You took a long time to pick up the mail," she commented casually. Her face changed as she saw the look on his face. "What's happened?" She asked nervously, sensing something big was going on.
"It's Jessica, it was true," he told her still amazed, he couldn't believe she'd gone and married him. Billie understood straight away. She stood up and put her arms around him.
"So she's married, it's not the end of the world," she whispered, not knowing what to say, she knew nothing would stop Steven disliking Mike. It was completely irrational.
"There's more, she's pregnant," he informed her quietly.
"Oh god, what are they going to do?" Billie asked as shocked as Steven, she couldn't imagine how they were handling it.
"Keep it, she says." Annoyance shone in his eyes. Billie noticed this look.
"You didn't upset her did you?" She enquired worriedly. Jessica needed their support not lectures, she must be absolutely terrified. He looked away guiltily. He knew Billie wouldn't approve of his behaviour.
"Well she wouldn't be sensible," he replied, struggling to defend his actions. Why couldn't anyone understand where he was coming from? Billie pulled her arms away in annoyance.
"Is it okay with Mike?" She asked changing the subject. Steven's face hardened even more.
"Well it is now, but it won't be in a few months," he said knowingly. He still couldn't get over the nerve of the guy.
"Steven, how can you say that? You don't even know him," she reminded him with a sigh.
"I know his sort."
"What exactly his sort then?" Billie was obviously becoming more and more irritated.
"He's a criminal," Steven replied with certainty.
"How many times do we have to go through this? You have no evidence." She grabbed her coat and walked towards the door. She couldn't put up with him being like this anymore.
"Where are you going?" Steven asked anxiously.
"To see Jessica. To offer her someone to talk to and to tell her I'll support her even if you won't," she stormed out the door and Steven sighed. Everyone was against him, even Billie.

Elizabeth and Todd entered the coffee house, holding hands and deep in conversation.
"That bit where the saxophone player suddenly went solo was amazing," she said smiling up at him. He nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
"Yeah the applause was deafening," he replied. They walked towards a table. Elizabeth felt perfectly content for the first time since she'd arrived at college. The whole experience had turned her life upside down but now she had new friends, William was gone and her relationship with Todd felt like it used to and there was a new level of understanding between them. The waiter took their order and then returned a few minutes later with some fries and two milkshakes. As she drank from the straw Elizabeth's eyes wondered around the coffee house. Her smile faded as her eyes landed on the man sat alone at a table across the room from them, surrounded by paper and looking engrossed in his work. Tom. He noticed her too and smiled at her. She couldn't help admiring his dedication to his work, spending the evening doing it as well. He made a gesture with his eyes towards the entrance lounge where the pay phones were located. He got up and started to walk there.
"Um, Todd I need to make a phone call," she said casually, understanding that Tom wanted to speak to her. He smiled at her and nodded.
"Just don't take too long," he told her teasingly. She quickly hurried to entrance.
"Tom, what is it?" She asked although she already new the answer.
"You know why you came." He tried to pull her close but she pushed him away refusing to betray Todd like that.
"Yes, so you would understand we can't have a relationship," she said simply, starting to feel irritated at his persistence.
"You don't have to stay with Todd. You don't have to hold on to the past," he assured her, offering her away out. She sighed exasperated.
"You don't get do you? I love him," she replied. "I'm happy with him," she started rambling. "I've even been thinking I might want to take the next step with him ...," she broke off her sentence, embarrassed that she'd said it out loud.
"Oh," he murmured, unsure what to say.
"I'd better get back," she told him, her words were rushed and she quickly hurried out the door.

"Billie I can't deal with Steven, he's trying to control my life," Jessica sobbed, tissues in her hand. She'd had enough of her brother's interference, it was her life after all. They were sat on the steps outside the apartment complex. "Jessica I know he can be too quick to judge, and always thinks his way is right, but I think he honestly thought he could help you." Billie told her, sounding as if she was trying to convince herself. She decided not to go into it any more, she wasn't responsible for defending Steven. "Besides I'm not here about him anyway." Jessica looked up shocked. "You're not?" She asked quietly, she'd thought Billie's only concern in this situation would be Steven. "No, I wanted to let you know that you can rely on me to help you no matter what you decide." Jessica smiled through her tears, grateful for Billie's understanding attitude. "Thank you" she whispered, she hugged Billie for a few moments. "Do you think I'm making the wrong decision?" She enquired in a weak voice, as she pulled out of their hug, looking down at the floor. Billie looked thoughtful. She wasn't sure it was her place to comment. She'd always believed children should be brought into secure environments and she wasn't sure that Mike and Jessica could offer that. "No," Billie said simply, trying to sound reassuring. "If I was married I would want to at least have a chance to make it work." Maybe Jessica and Mike could work through it together. "Do you think that Mike will resent being tied down by a baby?" Jessica asked anxiously, desperate for more reassurance. She knew her husband would hate feeling trapped. "You know Mike better than I do," Billie answered with a shrug, not sure what to say. She didn't want to lead Jessica on that it was going to be a bed of roses. "Not according to Steven, in his opinion I don't know Mike at all," she said bitterly, she couldn't get over her brother's lack of understanding. "Well you've been living with him for a while, I think you must know him pretty well," Billie told her, not really wanting to get into another conversation about Steven, it was starting to get tiring. Jessica nodded, they loved each other no matter what Steven thought. She was certain of that. "You're right." There was a moment of silence. "Billie are you and Steven okay?" Jessica asked bluntly, realising that this must be putting a strain on their relationship as well. "Of course," Billie answered, not very convincingly.

The next morning Jessica was lying on the couch, a cold cloth on her head, holding a bowl close to her. Mike's initial concern appeared to have dropped slightly now and he seemed to think she was being melodramatic. The phone was tucked under her ear against her shoulder. "Liz I don't know what you expect me to say," Jessica said with a sigh. "Do you think I should sleep with him, Jess?" Liz asked, struggling to make the decision by herself. "That's your decision," Jessica told her simply, she didn't want to be accused of giving Liz the wrong answer. "I know but I want some advice." "You're asking me for advice?" She asked shocked, Liz was the sensible twin who knew the right answer about everything and she was the one who got everything wrong. It was a strange role reversal for her. "Yes," Liz replied firmly. Jessica thought for a moment, wanting to sound as intelligent and mature as she could. "Well do you want to?" She enquired bluntly. It was the obvious but most important question she figured. "I don't know. I'm really nervous," she admitted, not able to come up with an answer herself. "If it's what you want it'll be fine," Jessica assured her twin. "I don't really know why your asking me. I'm not exactly the world's expert, I've only ever been with one man after all." "Jess, was your first time okay?" Elizabeth asked nervously, not sure how Jessica was going to react to the question. Jessica hesitated a moment before answering. "Well I was definitely as nervous as you are. I didn't know what to expect but it was fine in the end I guess." "Does it feel nice?" Elizabeth wondered with hesitation in her voice, really not sure how to phrase her questions. She felt silly for making such a big deal about it. "Of course it feels nice. People won't have sex if it wasn't nice, would they?" Jessica finished, humour in her voice. "Jessica be serious you know what I meant." She was silent for a moment. "Elizabeth this is a little embarrassing, I don't think my sex life is going to help you make your decision," Jessica said softly. Elizabeth sighed. "You're right your sex life is your own business." "Liz all that matters is that you love Todd and it's the right time, okay?" Jessica asked her reassuringly. "Okay," she said uncertainly, still feeling as confused as ever. "Liz do you trust him?" Jessica enquired bluntly. "I don't know. It's was a big part of the reason we broke up before," she admitted, trying to be truthful with Jessica and herself. "Then maybe it isn't the right time at the moment," Jessica offered gently.

"Hi Chas," Billie said, joining her friend at his table in the cafeteria. She had met Chas when she took up the guitar and he had always been encouraging of her interest in music. Steven's never been encouraging, a traitorous voice whispered in her ear. "Hi Billie," he said looking up and giving her a huge smile. "How are you?" "Oh I'm fine," she said, struggling to keep her voice normal. He looked unconvinced at her response. "Really!" She asserted, trying to cover up how miserable she felt. "Look I'm your friend." He took her hands across the table. "You can tell me." The feel of his hands on hers was sending tingles through her body. "It's Steven," she said looking into his eyes. "I can't tell you what it's about as it's not my business to tell anyone, but we disagree on some very important." She willed herself to take her hands from his but it was hard to think of anything but him when she was looking in his eyes. "Lots of couples disagree," he comforted her. "Not like this. He's being completely irrational," she explained, the situation was starting to get completely out of hand. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Steven enter the cafeteria but he didn't see her and she didn't call him over. They hadn't really spoken since last night. "Have you tried talking to him?" Chas asked simply. "Till I'm blue in the face," she admitted with a sigh, thinking about the amount of times she'd told Steven that Mike's relationship with Jessica was none of his business. He just never seemed to understand. Chas glanced at his watch. "Look I've got to head off to the music department," he said awkwardly. His smile became encouraging. "You want to walk over there with me?" She nodded and she couldn't help her smile growing. He put his arm around her waist as they walked and she didn't say hello to Steven on her way out.