CHAPTER 1
It seems like so long since I posted the summery, this chapter should be pretty long considering I am introducing everybody and there and there backgrounds please read and review!! This chapter is dedicated to …………. Because they were my first reviewer, Yay them I really appreciate reviews, I may dedicate a chapter to a person for the best advice in a PM/review, the nicest review or just because I feel like it, when I dedicate a chapter to someone it shows how happy I am with the reviewer, reader. Please keep reading!
Judes point of view
"Mason don't talk like that" I demanded. Mason is my best friend but he needs to understand, he has to understand. We are having the many arguments we have during the day.
He reached for my wrist, but accidentally pushed his calloused fingers against my many cuts on my lower wrist, I flinched away which didn't go away unnoticed by him.
Instead of continuing with our daily argument he grabbed my wrist roughly bring a very load shriek out of the back of my throat. He pushed my long sleeve royal blue tank top up my arm revealing a scarred, cut wrist with dried blood clinging to the more recent cuts. I looked down feeling intimidated under his scrutinising glare. Feeling the shame meet up with my facial features I could feel the heat of my blush rise up my neck and finally reach my face.
"oh jude what are you doing to yourself?" he asked his voice full of concern. I let a few stray tears run down my still bright red cheeks. He placed his pointer finger under my chin and pushed my chin up until I reached his concerned eyes.
"im sorry mas but It hurts" I sobbed pushing myself into my best friends chest "it hurts so bad, and in a screwed up way that is me it makes me feel better" I cried harder. I could feel him tighten his grip on me and it made me feel some what safe, crying into his chest, finally letting myself go, telling him almost all of my secrets. It felt good.
After my sobs had ceased I lightly pulled out of his grip and whipped my eyes. "Jude?" he called waiting for my response. I looked up at him telling him silently to go on. "You need to listen to me" he told me his voice full of authority.
"you need help" I shook my head, who was he to tell me this 'oh right just the only person left that cares about me' "jude he has beaten you, you could have been raped for all we know" he paused 'if only he knew' I have been raped repeatedly.
Flashback
I was asleep in my room when I faintly heard my door swing open, a gush of wind hit my face like a ton of bricks.
He walked closer and closer to my bed, I was pretending to still be asleep, maybe he would just leave with out looking back at me, even though I knew the truth, he wouldn't leave not until he got what he wanted, not until he got my innocence.
He kept creeping closer and closer to me, when he unfortunately reached my bed he ripped the covers of my fragile body, my body cringed into a ball at the expected coolness that ate away at my very lightly covered body.
I was wearing a light cotton night dress it got hot at night and because HE cringe was to scabby to install ceiling fans I has to make do with barely there clothes, I was seen as easy pray for sleazy man or in my case one sleazy man. HIM.
He stood there shamelessly staring over my body, with lust, desire and alcohol radiating off his body. I pushed myself into a tighter ball pushing myself closer to the headboard. He chuckled not a nice HAHA chuckle but an evil, IM GOING TO GET YOU! Chuckle.
He sat on the edge of my bed drapping an arm over now shacking lower back. "if you scream I will hit you so hard, your body will scream for death, then I'll go and get your mother and kill in front of you before ending you too, understand?" he whispered hoarsely.
I only nodded I love my mother, she is the only family I have left excluding sadie (I explain that later) the only thing I could do was nod, I would do anything to save her. He pulled my trembling form closer to his drunken one, in one swift movement he was on top of me ripping of my to thin night dress and forcing my legs open with his dirt covered knees. I started to try and get out from underneath him but this seemed to displease him. He pulled his hand back and glided it through the air until it collided with my face.
I let the tears spill from my eyes as I let fear overwhelm me he was going to rape me and I knew it, I may as well let it happen and be hurt as little as possible he was going to it weather or not I fight it was just the easier way or the hard way.
I stopped fighting underneath him tears still gliding down my face making the base of my neck dampen. Within seconds of leaving my body his body was pressed aginst mine yet again only now his naked form was hovering over me instead of a fully clothed one. I let out a dry sob as he pushed my legs open again.
"please don't!" I begged but he only laughed and swiftly pushed his rock hard penis into my very fragile and breakable vagina. I let out a large cry that not even I recognised as me. he moved past my now tainted walls he grunted with pleasure that made me wish to vomit. It wasn't suppose to be like this, it wasn't supposed to feel like this I thought while he pumped into me again. I cried with every time he entered me I met with another scream of pain, I was bleeding and he didn't care.
A 14 year old girl wasn't meant to experience this at such a tender age, she is suppose to be waiting for high school, making new friends and having her first boyfriend, not being raped in her own home just a year after her father killed himself.
As he made his last thrust he yelled in pure ecstasy, he came into the little plastic bag holding his package. He pulled out of me roughly laughed in her face, grabbed his clothes and left the room. I just laid there for hour's tears never ceasing to roll down my stained cheeks. That was the first night I was rapped.
End of flash back
"Jude, Jude" mason was shacking my shoulders lightly. "Did you hear what I said?" he asked I only shook my head. He exhaled he looked at me worriedly "Jude are you okay, you look really frightened" he asked
"I'm fine I mumbled" he nodded his head
"I said you need help, your cutting yourself" he pointed to my wrists, you being verbally, emotionally and worst of all physically abused, you cant keep living like this" he told me, I nodded my head he was right I shouldn't have to live like this.
"I know, I have to get home, I'll call you later" I told him seriously he nodded and kissed my forehead.
"You will call me" he told me I couldn't help it I had to smile; Mason is the best gay guy friend a girl like me could ever ask for.
I slowly walked away from mason heading towards HELL, as I finally reached the house that brought my nightmares to life and so much worse, I very slowly walked through the thresh hold of the front door and closed the door silently. I walked up the stairs one at a time not wanted to trip and use up unnecessary energy.
When I reached the top of the stairs I walked into the second room on the left. My room, the only room I could feel a little bit a home after school. When turned around after I closed the door there sitting on my bed made me gasp.
There was my mother, the only person that didn't stay oblivious to what was going on in this house, of what HE was doing to me but the only person that did nothing about it. I looked at her more closely and she had a grim smile on her face and her eyes were sparling with tears that have yet to fall.
I immediately became worried; there was something wrong with my mother. I couldn't hold it in any longer I had to ask…..
"mum what's wrong?" I questioned she looked at me and gestured to me to sit in her lap, I quickly complied.
"theres nothing wrong honey, but I do have some news that you probably wont like" I nodded my head my gesture for her to continue. "well you see don is making as much money as we hopped, so the company offered him a chance to transfer" there was a long pause, where mums words were socking in 'we would have to move' "to Toronto, honey I'm sorry but we are moving in a couple of days".
All I could do was stare at her dumbly, we are moving, to Toronto , where Sadie is living with aunt lizzy, leaving mason my best friend. After a couple of minutes later mum began to shake my shoulders roughly. "Honey are you ok?"
"WERE MOVING"I shrieked just as the words left my lips I regretted them, if we were moving he would be here, packing which ment he would have heard me.
Seconds later my bedroom door flung open and there stood my night mare, there stood him, there stood DON, looking at me like an angry bull seeing red for the first time…….
