Chapter Two: Girl from the North Country
Though Chibs suspected that something was wrong, Juice got through the day okay.
With a bit of luck, Juice thought, I will get lost in the shuffle. The early days of Jax's presidency were not without problems. After Tig's stupid stunt, Laroy was gunning for them. Clay was still in the hospital. The deal with the real IRA and the cartel was on hold. Opie was MIA and everybody was fucking tense. Hopefully, Chibs had enough on his plate to worry about why Juice was acting strange.
Nonetheless, hiss nerves were frayed. He needed to do something to take the edge off. Usually when he wanted to blow off steam, he'd go to Ruby. The others often teased him about her, because he was seemingly unable to permanently break up with her. Well, that was what he was counting on now.
Against Jax's explicit instructions that no Son was to go anywhere alone, Juice left the club house and went over to Ruby's. If anyone asked later where he'd been, he'd grin and tell the truth. Everyone would believe he was dumb enough to risk it, because they all thought he was an idiot anyway.
The front door was wide open. He knocked demurely, but eventually entered when no one answered. Practically the whole family seemed to be gathered in the living room. One of her brothers told him that she was in her room.
'Ruby! Juan Carlos here for you,' they yelled up the stairs. Instead of staying put, where the women and the men ogled his cut with interest and tried to make conversation, Juice opted to go upstairs.
The thought of having sex with Ruby when her entire family was in the house suddenly made him nervous, though he could hardly remember a time when there hadn't been at least one member of her family at home. The closer he came to her room, the louder the music got and the more he feared that he wouldn't be attracted to her any longer.
It was a real relief to see her sprawled on the bed in her tight jeans and tank top, humming along to a song he didn't know, and to feel his dick twitch at the sight. She was oblivious to his presence. Obviously, she had not heard her brothers calling or him coming up the stairs over the music. Her attention was riveted on her toe nails, which she was leisurely painting. Shit, he had almost forgotten how much he liked her feet.
Her long, black hair almost reached down to her waist. Her top exposed a strip of skin of her lower back where a flower tattoo resided. Her arms were slender. Her feet were delicate and graceful, as always. She was hot as hell.
While he watched her from the doorway, Juice began to relax. Everything was fine. He still wanted to fuck her. Sensing that someone was looking at her, Ruby turned off the radio and faced him.
'Hi,' he mumbled.
'Hi,' she responded. Her voice was flat. She regarded him with that mixture of pleasure and annoyance that no one else could match. Uniquely her own. It was hard to imagine anyone else managing to capture those two emotions in one look.
'Come in,' she urged, impatiently. Obliging quickly, he crossed the threshold and shut the door behind him. While she cleared the bed of magazines, nail polish and clothes, he took off his jacket. He draped it carefully over a chair. This earned him an amused and slightly derisive snort from Ruby; he pretended not to hear.
She pulled her top off, revealing the black bra underneath. Juice reluctantly approached the bed. Her skin was smooth and warm under his fingers as he helped her out of her jeans. The ceiling light was on, illuminating her body. It was supposed to be an unforgiving light, highlighting her physical imperfections, but Ruby didn't have any.
Trying to ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach, Juice shed his own clothes and climbed in bed with her.
'Condoms?' she asked. He shook his head.
'Figures,' she muttered, sharply. This normally did it for him. The harsh comments. The scornful look she would give him. He would let her dominate him and enjoy every minute of it. Her lust was so close to contempt and it had never failed to turn him on before. Until now.
Didn't matter that he was rock hard as she put on the condom. Didn't matter that she was so damn beautiful. Juice wasn't feeling it. Yeah, he wanted to fuck her, but in a theoretical way. Kind of like how he at times thought about getting a new fridge. The old one worked fine and he had no intention of going through the hassle of buying a new fridge. It was just a thing that he sometimes liked to think about.
This was screwed up. He had about as much interest in having sex with Ruby as he had in purchasing a new kitchen appliance, which was to say: none. Gently, he pushed her away and started to put on his clothes. Exasperated, she frowned at him.
'Are you fucking kidding me with this? Why'd you come here if you didn't want to?' she demanded angrily. Searching for an explanation, he zipped his pants.
'I wanted to want it.'
She stared at him with disbelief. Juice looked at her in all her naked glory. It did absolutely nothing for him. His dick appreciated the view and all, but emotionally he felt nothing. How wrong was that? Since when did he want to fuck women theoretically? Since when did he need to feel anything emotionally to get laid? Shaking his head, he put on his jacket.
'You're so full of shit,' she finally said. She sounded angry, but also apprehensive. Maybe she felt the shift too. Maybe she also realised that he'd stopped caring about her.
'I wish...'
Ruby ordered him out of the room. Just as well. He wasn't sure he could have finished that sentence anyway. Quietly, he descended the stairs and peeled out of there. He took a major detour to his apartment. It couldn't be called a detour anymore, technically, since he was actively trying not to go home.
Not so long ago, he had thought that he loved Ruby. Now he couldn't even be bothered to sleep with her. What the hell was wrong with him? Was it that he could only feel that way about one person at a time? And was this new person Chibs, of all people?
It was dark when Juice arrived at his apartment. He had tried to answer these questions for the greater part of the evening and didn't like one single answer he had arrived at. How the hell could he want Chibs when he'd – apart from that one dream about Jax – never thought about a guy that way?
Sighing, he parked his bike. His shoulders were stiff, so he shook them loose. His stomach growled. There was probably a frozen pizza in the freezer, if he hadn't run out of them.
Juice entered the hall, put his helmet on the side table by the door and shrugged out of his cut. He put it on a coat hanger in the hallway closet. Then he went to the kitchen and switched on the light. At first, he thought it was either a nightmare or a wish come true, then Chibs took a drag from his cigarette and Juice realised that Chibs was really there.
'You scared me half to death,' Juice admitted, laughing nervously. Immediately, he turned away, but nothing could erase the image of Chibs sitting at his kitchen table. Comfortable to his core, as if he was home. His gun on the table, yes, but still extraordinarily at ease.
'Good. Why don't you answer your phone?'
With his back to his friend, Juice dug his phone out of his pocket and checked it to find six missed calls flashing on the screen. All from Chibs.
'Sorry. I was with Ruby,' he half-lied, 'Was it anything important?'
'Nobody was supposed to go out on his own.'
'You came here alone,' Juice pointed out. He felt like such a shamefaced coward, but he was afraid to turn around. He was afraid that he would give it away with one look.
Slowly, he opened the fridge. He wasn't hungry anymore, but he needed time to think. This was getting more fucked up by the second. He couldn't even face Chibs. What the hell was he going to do? What would the club do? What... What would Chibs do?
'I covered for you. Again. Jesus Christ, Juice, I was fuckin' worried. And now you're going to tell me what's eating you.'
(***)
Author's note: Just wanted to say that the story title and chapter titles all come from songs featured on the Sons of Anarchy soundtracks.
Oh, and if Juice's elusive ex-girlfriend's name has been mentioned, I missed it, so I'm going with Ruby.
