I OWN NOTHING

Before we go any further, I must reveal to you my darkest of secrets, the way of my mind, the reason why I exist in the first place… I'm just a random lazy ass guy who loves stories. Is your mind blown?

WARNING: Considering there's not much of Azula outside her following Aang and Zuko, well, here's an idea: if she's the daughter of Ozai, wouldn't that make her a big target for his enemies? So, what would Naruto do if in the princess' way to find the Avatar there was danger looming around. There'll be some OCs as villains, that's what I'm getting at, so try to stand my craziness with this little arc.

XXXXXX

Those sexy lightning legs

"Now, what am I exactly supposed to do?"

The blond couldn't help but ask his current employer, partly because he was interested in what she had in mind to, quoting the fiery princess, leave his mark in history. He could see the appeal, and he would lie should he say there wasn't a certain desire to have such fame spread all over the world, he had been like that since he had memory. However, the young woman before him, who was maturing quite nicely as he noted, seemed to have more in mind than what she let on and the blond knew of that kind of person.

So, here he sat, in the middle of the Earth Kingdom, with Azula on the other side of the table and her calculative smirk on. He could still try to outrun her and leave, or could listen to her request, consider the price and the goal, and see what he could do before running off with her money. Hey, living on the streets wasn't an easy thing, if he could he would be teaching something to earn some money. That was a nice thought, teaching martial arts, perhaps, to earn some well deserved money. But for now he was about a year older than the girl who hired him, and she had money… and perfect hips.

Azula just smiled, "I want you to track, corner and capture - this last one only if necessary in case I'm not around - three special targets. However, these aren't your average targets, they are very skilled benders, and I could really use more fighters who know their way around facing benders." The blond did note that both Ty Lee and Mai stood prouder, well, Ty Lee smiled more, Mai seemed a bit less sulky.

The blond raised a brow, "And if I refuse, or what if I don't manage to capture them and some idiot does it first?" he asked while leaning back on his chair, his feet kicked up on the table, showing Azula his dirty soles.

The fiery young lady suppressed any and all emotions of disgust and spoke evenly, "If someone gets to them first, well, I shall deal with it accordingly on my own while you can go wherever you want. But should you refuse, you'll have to pay for all the food you've stolen the Fire Nation's troops, and doing so by working for me. If you still don't, well, let's say I'll have a fourth target to my list." She ended with a malicious grin.

Naruto sighed, pulling down his feet from the table and pushing his weight forward with the front legs of his chair stomping hard on the ground. He remained there, looking at Azula evenly, and then, "What if I outrun you?" He asked, and before she could reply a gale of wind replaced him, vanishing just as he did.

Azula just smiled and threw her hand back, "You're fast, I will give you that, but no matter how fast you run, you can't last fighting forever once you get cornered." She said calmly, while her hand stopped Naruto's bare right arm from grabbing her dumplings.

Ty Lee gaped, "Wow, Azula, how did you know what he was going to do?"

The princess chuckled, "Please, he had been staring at my plate the whole time we started talking." She then let the blond go and continued talking as he walked around the table, grabbed his chair, spun it around and sat himself on it with his chest and chin resting on the back of said chair. "Plus, no matter how fast you run, you are easy to read."

Naruto smirked and raised his red armor covered left arm, showing three dumplings in between his fingers which made Azula blink as she stared at her plate, noticing that was the amount she currently lacked. The blond chuckled, "I've pulled pranks on people since I was able to talk, so if there's one thing I pride myself is being capable of having a trick or two." He put a dumpling in his mouth between pauses, chewing quickly before swallowing, "Also, I'm far too stubborn to give up, and even more when there's food on the line."

Azula kept herself composed despite the blond thief's antics, "Then work for me and you'll be able to stuff yourself with all the feasts you desire."

Naruto hummed, thinking on the most important matters at hand before speaking, "I'm not gonna have to treat you like you're the boss or do your chores, right?"

Azula grinned, "Only if you wish to do so, Naruto. However, I'd recommend thinking carefully about the first one."

Naruto then pointed at the girl's female companions, "Then what of them? You're not trying to put a leash on them like you're doing with me."

Mai rolled her eyes, "Believe me, she's already done so with Ty Lee."

Azula couldn't help but chuckle at the jab while the acrobat looked confused, "But the only thing remotely close to a leash that Azula gave me was that choker from my birthday." Naruto laughed a bit, but he had finally decided his answer a while ago.

XXXXXX

"Mmm... This is quite good, if oddly un-cooked."

Azula, who had been in the forest waiting for the blond, tried and managed to control a sigh at her new minion's antics. The plan was simple, have the thief enter town and gather information about the Avatar since he wasn't a bender or a Fire Nation soldier, he was just a random idiot in rags. So after entering the small town they had heard the Avatar visited recently, the blond returned with a bowl of dough shaped like the Avatar, a cartoonish copy of a boy with arrows on its sweet flour limbs. Azula could hear Mai sigh at the carefree attitude of the speedster while Ty Lee giggled. The princess should have expected this when he asked for money before entering the village. But to see him nonchalantly put one of the pieces of dough in his mouth and slurp it like noodles made Ty Lee laugh a bit louder, Mai groan, and Azula slap the bowl off his hands... or try to.

The princess glared as her hand hit nothing but air while the blond managed to put the bowl of non-fried dough on top of his head, his spiked up hair somehow balancing it. This meant that Azula had missed her strike and a random street rat bested her. That meant she was slowly getting mad. In the angry way, she was mad in the insane way years before.

"Would it kill you to do your job seriously?" She asked, and tried to hit the bowl once again, only to groan as the blond made it disappear from his head and reappear on his left hip with his left arm supporting it.

He finished chewing on his non-fried Avatar and spoke, "Well, I did ask around for clues of the guy. Managed to get some free leftover dough from a party they had in his honor after some of your guys found him and got their collective asses kicked out, literally and figuratively." The blond said as he pinched one of the dough figure heads and lifted it to his boss, "It was a group of bizarre dudes in armor riding horned rhinos by what some people described. But if I know a thing or two, is the kind of way to track a trail." He then grinned, "I believe the Avatar has some of this special dough with him."

Azula blinked, "So you can look after someone by acting like a hound?"

Naruto chuckled, "If there's something I'm known for, is to always find food and ways to get it."

Azula smiled and grabbed the dough, using her lightning bending to fry it, "Good to know. Now show us if you can live up to your claims." She said as she bit off the cookie's head.

Naruto hummed for a bit, but simply slurped another piece of dough and let the flavor and the scent wash over him. He smiled and soon dashed forward. The three girls hurried and jumped to the inside of the forest they were hiding in, mounting their reptilian rides to follow the speedster. They barely managed to keep up with him, and only because Naruto was slowing down to sniff the air before changing course, and the fact he kicked enough dirt to leave a sign of where his feet left an imprint on the ground to push him forward faster made it slightly easier to follow him. In a matter of minutes, the blond skidded to a halt, rolled on the ground and jumped into a bush. The three elite warriors waited for anything, only to watch the blond pop out with a large smile on his face, and a bag with dough in hand.

"Didn't I tell you I can find food easily?" He asked as he was about to chow on one of the still not fried cookies, only to have it nailed to a tree courtesy of Mai's knives, "Hey, that wasn't very nice!" He snapped, clenching the hand that had held the cookie into a fist.

Azula spoke in her commanding voice, "We're here to find the Avatar, not to feed you!"

Naruto groaned, "Fine, fine... I can still smell the other kinds of food they had stored..." He said as he leaned down and took a deep sniff of the dough, "Barely any meat, some potatoes... and what seems to be..." He sniffed more, "It's either not fried, or still alive, but I think I smell two animals, a very large one, and a small animal from the mountains, perhaps... Both could go well with some herbs if grilled… There's also fruit."

"A small animal from the mountains?" Ty Lee hummed, "Say, Mai, didn't they have some sort of flying lemur?"

The stoic girl sighed, "I believe they did... It seems that he is worth something."

Naruto snapped again, "Hey! I just do my job my way, and only to get some good chow!"

Azula spoke up, "Enough chit-chat, Naruto, lead us to them immediately, and once they're captured you can eat their pets if you feel like it."

The blond groaned, "Fine... After lunch." He said as he grabbed a piece of dough and threw it in the air while ducking under Azula's fire, which left the cookie nicely fried and crunchy. The princess huffed as the blond had avoided what was meant to burn off his eyebrows and make him walk in ridicule, but he had used it to cook the cookie currently in his mouth, "Mmm... tastes better when hot..."

Ty Lee stepped closer, her right index finger placed to her lower lip, "That actually looks good, can I have some?" She said while trying not to drool. Azula finally let out a sigh simultaneously with Mai, knowing she would have to put up with this if she wanted the world's fastest man to catch up to the Avatar, lead her to him, and then perhaps leave her alone so she could take care of the brat.

However, she was brought out of her thoughts as Naruto extended the bag of dough at her, "You could try them either cooked or the way they are now, they're real tasty."

She sighed but gave in since at least he was doing his job, so she grabbed one, fried it with her lightning, and turned to her mercenary, "I really don't want to lose my patience on the one guy who says he can track the Avatar, so let us move before that happens." She said as she snapped the cookie vertically in half, with the head on the right half of the body. She then bit off the cookie's head while the blond sighed tiredly, turned around, and disappeared in a blur of speed.

The trio of girls jumped back to their rides and followed the blond, who simply dashed without a problem through the forest on his bare feet. As he did so, he chewed on the bag of dough the Avatar left. He didn't know who the Avatar could be, but if the kid left a bag of such good food behind then he should learn some manners about food and its importance, more when it comes to unemployed, hungry people like the speedster!

XXXXXX

Taking a deep sniff, Naruto smirked, "Ah… I love the smell of Earth Kingdom cooking… Smells like a perfect balanced meal." Rubbing his nose with the back of an index finger, the blond was smiling from ear to ear as the princess and her friends dismounted from their reptilian rides to see an Earth Kingdom city with, to Azula's amusement, a familiar symbol of a boar with wings. Said city was miles away, but the symbol could be seen as a proud banner in most places.

"This place basically belongs to the Beifong family…" Mai commented as she watched the city from afar, "In short, they're rich enough to be treated like royalty."

Naruto huffed, "Way to kill the mood…" he got a glare from the stoic girl which he ignored as he threw his arms up, "You should say something like: 'Ladies and gentleman, welcome do Gaoling…' to add some life to our arrival. Or, you know, just to get an inside laugh for yourself."

Ty Lee stood by his side with a large smile, "Or, 'Welcome to Gaoling, where cabbages are not allowed'…" She said as she aimed at finger at what was a cart filled with cabbages rolling down, followed by its owner who cried after it after the guards of the city kicked him and his rotten cabbages out of their town.

Naruto clapped, which made the brunette smile, "Yeah, something like that to liven up the mood."

Azula stood forward, "We're here hunting the Avatar, do your job and you'll get paid. You can laugh all you want at your bad jokes later."

Naruto huffed again as this time he sat cross legged before the princess, resting one whiskered cheek on a palm, "So, considering I'm here because of my infiltration skills and the fact I'm a thief, you want me to let you, a trio of Fire Nation fighters, inside a city where most residents hate your guts, right?"

Azula chuckled, "You can be smart when you want, good boy." She said as she clapped like he was a pet.

Naruto flipped himself back to his feet and looked at the girls, who blinked when he moved his hands up, his thumbs connected to his index fingers like a frame, "Hmm…" he hummed, as he used the frame of his fingers as a window to look at the girls, creeping Ty lee a bit at how he stuck his tongue out to one side, "Okay… I think I got it."

He turned around and started to dash towards the city, making Ty Lee speak her mind, "I'm not the only one who felt as if he were trying to watch us naked, am I?"

Mai turned to her cheerful friend with a look of partial interest and partial concern hidden in her ever expressionless face and monotone voice, "Please don't tell me you speak because of experience."

"I think I know what he's up to…" Azula said with a sigh as she massaged her temples, "I should've figured it out the instant he looked at us. Oh well, let's see if he's capable of pulling this one out without messing up." However, she still turned to Ty Lee, "And how do you know when a guy's looking at you that way?" she asked because Ty Lee didn't seem the type to know those kinds of things with how innocent and oblivious of reality she was… in fact, though the princess wouldn't say it, the acrobat didn't seem to have much know-how about… much.

Ty Lee chuckled, rubbing the back of her head, "Well, when you are at the circus and get some fans… It's kind of troublesome to not know what they mean until they try to grope you." She then waved her hands, "But don't worry, I was always able to block their chi points before they could feel my skin." She said to try to calm her friends.

Azula sighed, 'Mental note to self: investigate and personally, slowly and painfully torture and then kill every single one of Ty Lee's fans.' She then turned to see her supposed expert thief running at Gaoling's gates, without stopping or trying to take cover.

Instead of taking things the stealthy way, read the "boring way for the Uzumaki lineage", the blond smirked like he won a life supply of free food and raced at the guards. Each of the men at the large gates that protected the city wore the typical green armor of an earth bender, which meant more fun for the blond. He raced at them, ignoring their authoritarian shouts of stopping, and held his shinai still sheathed on his back.

Seeing that the blond wasn't going to stop and that he seemed ready to fight, each earth bender that guarded the gates took a step forward and threw their arms to the skies. Before Naruto a large, sturdy wall of rock shot itself from the ground, cutting the path as it rose several stories into the air with the guards standing at the top. He simply grinned and shocked the guards as he jumped at the wall and kept on running, by defying all laws of physics and running up the dirt wall with his bare feet digging into it slightly for propulsion and friction. Infuriated at the spectacle that was admittedly amazing the thief's contractors, each guard threw their arms forward, and now the blond had to move in a zigzag pattern around earth spikes shooting from the wall to knock him down.

And he could only grin more as he jumped off the wall, landed on one of the spikes and used it as a step to jump over at the guards. Each of them gave a yelp as the blond, just because he felt a bit cockier, flipped in the air when he was at their level and scored a flawless landing beside them. He had on that annoying cheeky grin of his especially used when he took a big meal off a Fire Nation's officer's plate.

But just as the guards were about to apprehend him for questioning, the blond sighed, "Man, I really had fun now!" And just like that, he jumped off the wall, making the benders cry after him due to thinking he could die. Imagine their shock when the blond landed on a roof, rolled, and kept on running again. Five seconds later, when the benders' brains kicked in that tan intruder had escaped them, each and every single one entered the city after him while calling for their superiors.

Azula smiled, "He is useful after all. Hmm… I might have to spend a little money on his dinner tonight for this."

"What do you mean, Azula?" Ty Lee asked, until Mai spoke as she finally noticed it.

"There are no guards." The stoic girl said, seeing the free path they all had which they immediately took. Once inside she spoke calmly, "Oh well, I'll take back… about thirteen percent of the bad things I said about him."

"Just that?" asked a voice on the other side of the gates inside the wall, leaning on a building and smiling under new clothes. The cheeky, cocky tone of the voice allowed the girls to know who it was from the start even before he tilted up his new straw hat. Clad in beige pants and a green gi was Naruto with a beige bag that carried his shinai and most likely his previous outfit slung over his shoulder. "And here I went through all the trouble of trying to find some decent clothes." He patted his new pants, "Not as comfortable as my hakama, but this'll do. What do you think?"

"Not bad, for a thief in a hurry." Azula said with her own smirk.

"Hey, you are paying this thief to do his job, not look good, which I admittedly do already regardless of my outfit." Naruto chuckled as he ignored Mai's rolling eyes and Azula's mocking smirk that signaled sarcasm, and then tossed the girls an outfit for each, "The guards should've looked more carefully when I landed where I was headed to, the poor owner didn't know I took this stuff until I was racing back to the get you."

The girls were given green dress gowns typical of the Earth Kingdom which would make the trio blend easily and look good at the same time. So, after giving the girls enough time and good privacy to change, Naruto was back on his duty of sniffing the Avatar and whatever lunch he could be carrying.

XXXXXX

However, inside Gaoling, a certain group of colorfully clad people sat around a Pai Sho table. They were also… colorful in their own twisted ways. One of them sat at the sides, licking the brim of a jar of booze with a forked tongue, said tongue that was that way because of the man cutting the tip in half himself. This guy's head looked more like a skull with his teeth sharpened into fangs, he also had a black hair done in a Mohawk, and wore a black leather opened jacket to show an skeletal torso that was mostly skin and bones, blue pants with cherry blossoms adorning them form the knees down, and straw sandals. On his right, leaning on his body, was a large scythe with a rhino lizard's skull where the staff and blade met.

This snake like man frowned and spat out his booze, "Oi, what's with this crap?! I thought we were getting' good stuff!"

An ox of a man stood with a frown. He was muscles over muscles, and easily dwarfed everyone around him by standing well over eight foot of height. This man's entire body was covered in pitch a black leather jacket and matching silk pants with black boots, which was tight and yet loose at the same time to allow him to move. His black hair was cut extremely short, making it easy to see the paleness of his skull as well as the massive scar that was shaped as a cross on his face which had one end going all the way to the back of his skull, with the center crisscrossing on the bridge of his nose. This man had a scowl on his face as he turned to the reptile of his comrade, the C word being bile raising in his throat. Also, one could note the two chain whips on each hip he had.

"Shut up, Snake. We wouldn't be in this situation if we had better targets."

Someone snorted. It was a woman clad in a yellow kimono covered in red cherry flowers all over the cloth, with her hair painted a dark green, wearing purple slacks, and walking on metal boots with a curved blade poking out of each finger. She had a scowl on her face, her hair done in a bob, and an eye-patch on her right eye. Her most distinct feature, however, was that on her side was a massive two-handed sword and that beneath her kimono her arms were ripped enough to carry such a massive sword without problem, and thus making her… ahem… comparable small feminine traits hard to find in the bulk… She looked like a dude.

"It wouldn't be a problem if that little bitch Jun didn't have that pet of hers, Bear." She said, crushing her metal jar of booze without any effort.

The reptilian man laughed, "Oh, that's rich coming from you, Dog… I'm afraid it's just jealousy over who's got the looks and skills." He said while wiping out his split tongue like the snake he was.

The woman grabbed her sword, to which the skinny man replied by having his scythe ready, hefted on one shoulder. But before either of them could snap at each other, an elderly voice spoke up, filled with power, "You're disrupting my game, whippersnappers…" the owner of the voice, an elder man clad in blue robes all the way until his head was completely buried in thick layers of blue cloth, spoke with disdain, "Remember that the way to longevity… is to destroy the next generations… Kuehehehe…" he cackled, to which the towering man known as Bear replied by moving one of his pieces of Pai Sho.

"Sorry, Master Fujimoto." The group said in unison while the blue cloaked figure moved his own piece, until…

"Master Fujimoto! Master, great news!" someone said as the door to the bar the quartet was in burst open. The figure standing in the doorway had pitch black long, very long hair which bangs already hid the face. He was a man judging by the physique, was clad in pitch black hakama pants, wore a dark green kimono with sleeves that were easily dragged on the ground, and had two large metallic piercings on both side of his mouth resembling fangs. What stood out of the figure, however, was its hunched position and a large wooden barrel it carried on its back with a white skull messily painted on it.

Movement shook the newcomer's kimono all over the chest, until a piece of paper flew out and landed on the table. It was a portrait of Azula, a rather good one that laid on the table for them to see along something that certainly interested them… a very, very, and I mean VERY big price for the princess' head.

It came as no surprise that Ozai wasn't beloved by many, so it shouldn't be surprising that even his children had a special price to their heads… or rather, the one people knew the lord of the Fire Nation held close as his favorite child, Azula.

The group grinned, "You mean she's…" the man known as Fujimoto started, chuckling underneath his layers of clothing.

The newcomer nodded his head, "She's in this town… However, she seems to be guarded, and she is Ozai's daughter, so she must be dangerous… But, if we make ourselves with her pretty head…"

Snake stomped the ground with his scythe, "Forget the head, Fang, I want to know more about that bod of hers, like how much we'll be paid for every bit of her slutty self!"

Dog clenched her fists, "Nah, we should already kill her, we could be heroes for many…"

Bear sighed, "What do you say, Master Fujimoto?"

The elder man cackled underneath the helmet of cloth he had, "It's been a while since I've seen a feisty young girl… We could easily break her if we used her to get extra money before sending her fingers, one by one, to her father… Before starting to send her teeth, also one by one… Kuehehehe…"

The maniacal group cackled at the idea, for they held hatred for the Fire Nation like many others, to the point their own armies had kicked them out for killing any ally that got in their way to murder their enemies.

XXXXXX

And that's my rap!

Well, this turned a bit dark, didn't it? Anyway, don't deny it people, it could have happened. Ozai was a massive douche, and people target everything and anything to get even to massive douchebags like him. So, I've decided to go one step beyond, make an original thing in the same episode in which Aang is trying to meet Toph, and get creative as Hell. As for these OCs, well, they're monsters in more ways than one. Not overpowered benders or the likes, but still powerhouses on their own on the level of the show, and quite bloodthirsty.

If you're wondering where the inspiration came from... well, Snake was designed after Duck King from Fatal Fury with bits of Goro Majima and the scythe guy from Samurai Champloo. Bear is based on the Castlevania heroes only without the heroism. Dog is kinda a mixture of Sakura Oogami and Cloud Strife with the personality of Larxene. And Fujimoto and Fang came a bit out of nowhere, so I'm not sure what I can say I got inspired with to make them.

And don't worry, these maniacs won't take the spotlight, they're here to show how badass Ty Lee, Mai, and Azula are. Yes, Naruto will fight them too, but don't think the blond will go around saving the Fire Nation ladies from them like they're damsels in distress, we know those three would knock even the most skilled of fighters in seconds.

Swordslinger out!