Chapter Two: You should 'hn' more, Sasuke-kun!


A/N: If Sasuke and his stupid hair offends you don't read this. Read about Kakashi and his stupid hair instead!

A/N: Thoughts – italicised and single quoted

Dialogue – double quoted

Emphasis in dialogue – single quotes or italics or both for extra flavour!

Inner Sakura – single quotes, italics and underlined.

A/N: Please review and fill the review hole in my heart.

A/N: Due to certain references the rating of this chapter has been bumped up from K+ to T


After enjoying a very satisfying lunch, the three new teammates returned to the classroom to enjoy a very long wait for their jounin-sensei. No… actually, it wasn't very enjoyable at all. Finally two hours later their douchebag of a jounin-sensei showed up. Did they get an apology? No. All he said was, 'I don't think I like you three very much.'

Now their spiky haired douchebag of a jounin-sensei smiled smugly at them from atop the roof of the academy. While they had to climb the stairs to get there the man had simply just disappeared and reappeared in a cloud of smoke. 'I wonder if he can teach me that jutsu!' Naruto thought to herself, excitedly.

"Alright, so let's do our introductions. Just say your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams… I guess."

"What about you, sensei?" Sakura asked.

"…My name is Kakashi Hatake, I have lots of hobbies, I don't really want to tell you guys my likes and dislikes and future dream? Hmmm..." Kakashi replied, not really telling them much at all. "Now your turn, starting with the strange orange girl over there."

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I like ramen, cup ramen, Ichiraku's ramen, cooking ramen-"

'Does she think of nothing but ramen?' the other people on the rooftop all thought, sweatdrops sliding down their faces.

"-Hinata-chan, Neji and Iruka-sensei! I don't like waiting for ramen to cook or…" she paused sneakily, "waiting over two hours for a jounin-sensei to arrive." Kakashi pretended not to notice the not so subtle dig. "My hobbies are training and gardening and hanging out with Neji and Hinata-chan. And my dream is to become the Hokage and make everyone in the village finally look up to me and respect me!" Naruto declared, raising a hand and clenching it into a fist.

Kakashis' one visible eye widened at her bold declaration. 'Well, she sure grew up interesting', he thought to himself.

But he didn't say anything, just motioned at Sasuke to take his turn.

"Sasuke Uchiha. I dislike a lot of things but I don't really like much of anything... Except tomatoes I guess. And hair care." At this Sakura and Naruto exchanged looks but neither of them really knew much about the haircare thing.

'There are still things I have to learn about Sasuke-kun!' Sakura thought determinedly.

Kakashi, on the other hand understood perfectly and respected him for it. 'A true Uchiha,' he thought to himself.

"My hobby, if you can call it that, is training. And hair care I guess. And I don't want to use the word dream, but my ambition is the revival of my clan and to kill a certain man.", he finished with a grim look on his face.

'I didn't even know that Sasuke-kun thought about things like that!' Sakura realised, feeling somewhat ashamed. 'There's still so much I have to learn…' Determinedly, she decided that if there was any way she could help him with his goals she would at least give it a shot.

Kakashis' eye narrowed in contemplation. Pretty much what he'd expected, after all. He motioned to Sakura to continue.

"My name is Sakura Haruno! I like reading, studying, doing well on books and.. Sasuke-kun," well it wasn't like they didn't already know, after all. "I don't really dislike anything… maybe orange tracksuits," she said, making a not too subtle dig at Naruto's favourite attire. Naruto just rolled her eyes, not bothering to defend her usual outfit. "As for hobbies I don't really have anyway… my dream is to become strong and protect a certain man," she finished.

"Wow, really? I had no idea you had such an awesome dream Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed. She did not at all connect Sakura's decision to protect Sasuke with her current dream to protect a certain man.

While Sakura was busy blushing and stuttering, Kakashi and Sasuke both had the same thought. 'Though it's totally obvious who you're talking about…' Still, their private estimations of the skinny pink-haired girl rose.

"Then, since we've all finished introducing ourselves, tomorrow we'll start our duties officially," Kakashi announced, breaking the silence.

'Yeah, though you never really introduced yourself,' the three preteens thought exasperatedly.

"What kind of awesome duties will we be doing?" Naruto asked. "I want to rescue a princess!"

"As long as we get real combat experience I'm not too fussed," Sakura chirped in. Sasuke, in typical Sasuke fashion chose to nod rather than agree out loud.

Kakashi had to struggle not to laugh out loud at that. 'Even if they do manage to pass my test they'll have months and months of D-ranks before they get to have any 'real combat experience,' he thought gleefully. "Ahem, first the four of us have to do some survival training."

"Uh, sensei, maybe you forgot but that was why we were at the academy. We've had six years of training." Naruto rolled her eyes.

Kakashi snickered. "This isn't regular training. Actually it's kind of funny..."

"What's so funny, sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Well only 9 people from your year are going to graduate. The rest go back to the academy. This will be a super difficult exam with a failure rate of 66% AND I will be your opponent!" Kakashi gloated, basking in the startled looks on their faces.

Electricified goldfish, they looked like with lips wide open and eyes blankly staring ahead in shock. Naruto's blond spiky hair was even standing on end. "B-But we already did a test! Why did we even graduate then?!" Naruto asked angrily. She was the one most upset by this, considering all the effort she'd put into learning that stupid clone jutsu.

"That was just a test to select those that get a chance to become Genin. You can think of it as a preliminary test.", Kakashi smiled at them. He was enjoying this... maybe too much? What a shame he'd left his camera at home.

"Tomorrow I will be testing you, so don't forget to bring all of your shinobi tools. And don't eat breakfast, you'll just throw up."

When Kakashi used that strange jutsu to disappear from the rooftop again, all three graduates were still sitting there with the same shell-shocked expressions on their faces.

"Ugh... What should I do?" Naruto muttered to herself. Sakura heard her and frowned. What could she do? If she didn't pass this test there would be no way to protect Sasuke-kun, who would definitely pass for sure! But she knew there was no way she could defeat a jounin on her own.

Wait…on her own? Sakura looked at her teammates. If they were a team then there was no reason she had to fight him alone...

Sakura sighed. Her planswould have to wait till tomorrow. "Okay, guys I've got a few ideas... About the test tomorrow..."


Naruto woke up bright and early the next day. She was feeling particularly awesome, since this morning she would have an advantage in their test. Last night, to her and Sasukes' surprise Sakura had stopped them from leaving because she said she had an idea. That idea led to them walking up to every single villager in town and asking about Kakashi. Naruto didn't exactly understand what the whole point of this was, so she had started complaining loudly to Sasuke.

After blatantly ignoring her for as long as possible, he finally rolled his eyes and said, "You don't even know that? Seriously, just how did you manage to graduate?! We're gathering information, moron."

Eventually after asking around they struck gold. A failed Genin graduate that had taken Kakashis' test before. Apparently Kakashi was a 'lazy bastard' who probably used the same test pretty much every year. In the end all he left them with was the cryptic advice, "No matter what eat a full breakfast." Naruto had thought he was pretty shady but Sakura decided to take his words at face value, so who was she to argue?

She was just happy that she could eat her usual seven bowls of ramen. And a nice tall glass of milk. To her all that wandering around justified itself because she got to eat a big breakfast as usual, in the end.

"Good morning Sakura-chan, Sasuke!" she chirped, arriving at the specified place of appointment. Sasuke barely deigned to nod but Sakura greeted her with a happy smile. Maybe too happy.

Naruto did not like the look on her face at all.

"Can I call you with chan?" Sakura asked her.

Naruto let out a sigh of relief. So that was all? "Sure, Sakura-chan, call me whatever you want!" she smiled at her.

"Thanks, Naru Naru-chan!" Sakura grinned.

Narutos' mouth dropped. Out of all the nicknames she'd gotten, no one had ever quite called her that before. 'Should I be flattered or disgusted?' she wondered. On one hand… they were teammates, she had told Sakura-chan she could call her whatever she wanted, clearly Sakura-chan actually thought it was a cute name and it was still better than 'demon-child', but on the other…

"Naru Naru-chan?" Naruto groaned.

"It's cute, isn't it?" Sakura beamed.

"You could call me Naruto-chan instead?" Naruto suggested hopefully.

Sakuras' nose wrinkled. "That's not a very feminine name. Naruto means fishcake," she pointed out.

"I read it as whirlpool, actually. Which is an awesome name," Naruto objected.

"That's still not very feminine." Sakura pointed out.

"But you added –chan to it! That's very feminine!" Naruto protested.

Sakura just shook her head slowly at this. "You'll understand when you're older," was all she would say.

"Actually…" Sasuke started to say.

Naruto looked at him hopefully.

"Like I said, Sakura has better taste than you. You should listen to her," Sasuke said. Then he turned around –out of Sakuras line of sight- and smirked at her.

Naruto looked away from him in disgust. "Okay... it is kind of… cute," she gave in, lying through her teeth. Sakura-chan just looked so happy that she had agreed, Naruto didn't have the heart to fight her on the issue.

'It could be worse,' she consoled herself, 'Sasuke could be the one calling me Naru Naru-chan instead. Now that would be gross!' she made a face.


Hours later Kakashi finally arrived. As one Naruto and Sakura stood up and yelled at him while Sasuke settled for folding his arms and glaring venomously at their new sensei. Kakashi merely smiled at them and set an alarm clock on a stump in the clearing.

"Okay, the timer on this is set to go off at noon. I have here two bells," Kakashi raised the bells to show them and shook them slightly.

"Before that timer goes off you have to take a bell from me. If you don't you won't get any lunch but you will be forced to watch me eat in front of you instead."

'So that's why he told us not to eat any breakfast,' the three graduates realised.

"If you don't manage to get a bell off me you will be tied to a stump while I and your teammates enjoy our lunch and then you will be sent back to the academy for failing. So that means that out of the three of you, a minimum of one and a maximum of three students will definitely fail." Kakashi gleefully explained.

"You can use all of the ninja tools available to a graduate. That means no high-grade explosive tags or poisoned senbon obviously. Taijutsu, Ninjutsu and any Genjutsu you might know, you can use them all. You won't be able to succeed if you don't come at me with the intent to kill so... Please, don't make this 'too' boring." He eye-smiled at all of them.

Sakura frowned at him. He was obviously trying to provoke them, but why? The test hadn't even started yet.

Naruto, on the other hand took the bait, hook line and sinker.

"We're the ones who are bored, three-hours-late sensei! You should watch your ass or you might be dead before you know it!" She declared, glaring fiercely at him.

Sakura stared at her incredulously. 'What is she doing? Why is she provoking a jounin-sensei?' She turned her head to exchange a look of disbelief with Sasuke and was even more surprised when he reciprocated.

"In real life those with no talent always bark the loudest. Well ignore the three times failed student and start when I say"-

Naruto whose expression had been getting fiercer and fiercer while listening to their instructor suddenly lunged at him with three kunai in her hands and it was all Sakura and Sasuke could do to hold her back.

'When did those kunai get there?' Sakura thought, eyebrows shooting upwards in surprise.

'Fast!' thought Sasuke.

Kakashi looked at the three kids in surprise. "Nice teamwork, you two. Quick thinking." He nodded to Sasuke and Sakura who looked proud and blushed respectively. "And Naruto", he started. Naruto glared at him, daring him to say something insulting. "You're pretty fast to the draw, aren't you?" Kakashi eye-smiled at her. Naruto's mouth widened into a comical 'O' before it quickly spread into a pleased grin.

"If you remember to take me seriously like that you might have a small chance of passing my test. In fact, it seems like you guys might not be all that bad." Kakashi ignored the pleased flushes on their faces, all of their faces and gave the command.

"Now, Start!"


'So the first thing they should be doing is... hiding themselves well in the surrounding area.' Kakashi thought to himself and scanned the area around him. Just as he thought, Sasuke and Sakura were well hidden in the surrounding trees and bushes - though of course he could detect them - and Naruto was...

Naruto was...

"Hey, you're strong aren't you? Come and fight me!"

Standing right in front of him.

"Just out of curiosity, did you ever pay any attention to your classes in the academy?" Kakashi asked her idly. Though it was already obvious what the answer was. The answer was 'No'.

"Just out of curiosity do you ever pay any attention to your hair?" Naruto retorted.

Kakashis' hands flew defensively to his hair. There was nothing wrong with his hair! His hair was fine!

He decided it was time to teach this little girl a lesson.

Naruto leapt back from him, eyes to the ground. "Caltrops!" *she cursed. Taking advantage of her momentary distraction, Kakashi moved towards her at a speed she couldn't hope to match and punched her in the stomach. Her body slammed into a tree with a solid sounding 'thunk'.

"Ninjas never take their eyes off an enemy," Kakashi lectured indifferently.

Naruto hesitantly got back to her feet, breathing heavily. "Maybe you were just too ugly for me to directly look at!" she shouted back, somewhat nonsensically.

Kakashis' one visible eye widened marginally. To get up from a blow like that in less than one minute... That was some stamina, alright.

"Alright then," He whipped out his favourite novel, one with a bright orange cover. "Lesson number one - Taijutsu. Let's see if you can beat me."

"... Uh, what's the book for? Is that a ninja book with ninja weapons in it or something?" Naruto asked, scratching her head.

How had she managed to come to that conclusion? 'In a way, I think she's overestimating me,' Kakashi thought to himself.

"No Naruto, this is a book from my favourite series, Icha Icha. I just wanted to read a bit more. You can attack me while I'm reading, don't worry about it, I won't get hurt." Kakashi explained to her without taking his eyes off the book.

"Icha Icha paradise?! I know about those - that's that perverted book series! Sensei, you might not know this but in certain circles I'm known as 'Naruto the pervert buster'!"

'No, you aren't,' thought Sasuke and Sakura.

"I'm gonna bust you and that book of yours up so badly you won't be able to read another page!"

Naruto launched herself at him, fist outstretched to punch the book right out of his hands. Kakashi merely moved the hand not supporting his book and blocked her with an open palm. 'I'm not done yet!' thought Naruto, and using the momentum from the punch, kicked out in a high arc now aiming for Kakashis' mask.

Kakashi dropped down into a low crouch, avoiding the kick but he was underestimating Naruto's speed. Naruto grinned at him. Now she had him! She pushed herself backwards from her current position, landing on Kakashis' back and pressing him down into the ground. Her next move was to hook her leg around his neck and crush his larynx between her leg and her hands joined together until he surrendered!

"Ha, take that! I spent all night training with a motionless Kakashi doll for this!" Naruto crowed, moving into the next stage of her attack.

Then from directly behind her came the words "Didn't I tell you that ninjas don't take their eyes off an enemy?"

Huh?! At those words a cloud of smoke emerged, covering Naruto and her 'enemy' and then quickly dissipated. And what it revealed was... 'I've been trying to get a log to surrender all this time?!'

'Kawarimi Jutsu. That's an academy technique!' Sakura realised.

'When did he pull the switch? I didn't notice at all,'
thought Sasuke.

'Oh crap,' thought Naruto.

Kakashi swiftly moved his hands into the Tiger seal position, not giving Naruto any time to escape.

'No way… is he actually going to use a fire technique?' Sasuke thought.

Sakura though had an even more foreboding feeling. Chalk it down to womanly intuition.

"Naruto, watch out!" she yelled, throwing a kunai at Naruto, which snagged the shoulder of her jumpsuit and dragged her backwards along its line of movement until it met a tree and sunk into it.

Kakashi blinked. That was some quick thinking and a nice display of teamwork. Naruto was now looking around in confusion, pinned to a tree 50 metres from him before he had even started his technique.

Still, you didn't get to be a jounin by being sentimental and Sakura had just given her position away. Big mistake.

Within a second, Kakashi appeared behind Sakura, fingers again clasped together in the Tiger seal.

"Ancient Secret Taijutsu technique of Konoha! 1000 years of Pain!"

Sakura went flying, shrieking all the way and plummeted into the large lake towards the far side of the clearing.

'He just poked her in the ass.' Naruto and Sasuke stared in horror at their new maybe sensei.

'That. Fucking. Asshole. I WAS SAVING THAT FOR SASUKE!' Inner Sakura roared.

Within a second she emerged from the lake, throwing another kunai at Sasuke pinning him to the tree by his ridiculously large collar and then yelling a battle cry all the while as she leapt out of the water and ran across the clearing, grabbing Naruto and Sasuke and retreating to the trees.

'What just happened?' thought Kakashi bemusedly. Oddly enough he could swear he felt a massive amount of killing intent directed at him and a feeling of foreboding was starting to give him goosebumps. With a silent scoff he pushed that feeling of foreboding back into his head where it would then be used for fights against actual dangerous ninja. They were just kids, after all. What could they possibly do to a former Anbu captain?


Kakashi was starting to get bored. All of them - even Naruto - were hiding extremely well. He had no idea where they were. It was starting to put even him on edge.

'I'm sure they'll show themselves any time now,' He comforted himself.

Meanwhile in the trees...

"So you're all clear on what we're going to do?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke cocked his head questioningly, being too lazy to actually vocalize his question.

"Sasuke-kun, just imagine if that had happened to you instead of me. Wouldn't you want to be avenged?" Sakura asked patiently.

Sasuke blanched. Kisses were one thing… but butt pokes? And not even from a fangirl but from an older man who was supposed to be their sensei… That was just creepy.

"I would want you to take revenge if that happened to me as well, Sakura-chan. I'm behind you one hundred percent." Naruto determinedly bumped fists with Sakura.

"And you did kind of sacrifice yourself for me even if you didn't mean to..." Naruto trailed off.

"So Sasuke-kun, are you in or out?" Sakura asked.

"Let me blow stuff up and you have a deal," Sasuke replied, still looking vaguely unnerved by the whole butt poke thing.

"Great! Then you can help me set up the ninja wire and explosive tags around this area!" Sakura beamed.


"Kakashi-sensei! Fight me!" Kakashi sighed as the orange figure of his... least intelligent student came into view. Had she learned nothing?

"Shadow clone Jutsu!" Naruto yelled and in an instant, ten more Naruto's had appeared from thin air.

"Oh, you know a solid clone technique?" Kakashi was pleasantly surprised. "Of course you realise this makes no difference, right? No matter how many of you there are, with your skills you have no hope of defeating me."

Naruto grimaced. "Stupid Kakashi-sensei! I can beat you with my hands tied behind my back!" In a snap ten more Naruto's were added to the crowd. And then they all rushed as one at Kakashi and a maelstrom of chops, punches and kicks was released.

"Predictable." thought Kakashi and in a matter of moments he had dispelled all but one Naruto. "That one must be the real one." Kakashis eyes narrowed as he prepared to finish the battle.

Naruto squawked in alarm. Where had all the other Naruto's gone? And so quickly? She jumped to her feet and quickly ran in the opposite direction, abandoning the plan.

"I can always make more clones! It's not over yet!" she declared.

Kakashi sighed and turned around. "I've already figured out your plan. You were using your clones to lead me to the water and it failed. Ninjas are always looking underneath the underneath."

Naruto's jaw dropped in surprise. How had he figured out Sakura-chan's plan so quickly?

"It was probably... Sakura who came up with the plan, right? Out of the three of you she's supposed to be the one with the biggest intellect." While he spoke Kakashi was keeping a careful eye on the area, anticipating a counter move from Sasuke or Sakura any time soon. "What I don't understand though is why? Getting me to the trees would be better, since you all are much smaller than me and could work more effectively in the more cramped area, while my movement would be hindered."

Naruto started laughing. "You're so stupid Kakashi-sensei! Sakura-chan knew you'd realise what we were doing immediately if we tried that! As soon as my clones led you into the water Sasuke was going to spit fire at the water and fry you in superheated steam! Then while you tried to escape Sakura was going to get the bells!" She crowed.

A sweat drop slowly made its way down Kakashis' face disappearing into the fabric of his mask. 'She does realise she just told me the whole plan, right? Well it wasn't a bad plan and it might have even worked... if Naruto had been anywhere near as stealthy as she should have been.'

While Kakashi was in the middle of thinking, and as his guard appeared to be down, a Fuma shuriken appeared out of nowhere, careening towards him. Kakashi leisurely reached out and stopped the shurikens' movement, catching it around the circular hole in the middle.

"Wh-what the, that wasn't part of the plan! Sasuke, you bastard!" Naruto yelled.

Kakashis' eyebrows drew together. So it was Sasuke who had thrown the shuriken. That meant Sakura still had to be accounted for.

"They're getting desperate. After all you messed up their carefully thought out plan," he told Naruto.

At that moment, from a different direction a string of ninja wire came flying towards him, kunai slipping up and down its length. If successful, that trick could potentially decapitate an enemy. Kakashi merely sliced through the string with the Fuma Shuriken still in his hand and watched the kunai clatter harmlessly to the ground.

"I'm guessing that was Sakura's move." He commented.

"We can still use that plan!" Naruto shouted. "I just have to make more shadow clones!"

"That might have worked...if you hadn't already told me all the details of your plan." At Kakashis words Naruto's face fell. She hadn't done that, had she? Feeling a little depressed Naruto's gaze dropped to the ground in front of her. 'Sorry Sakura. Sorry Sasuke. It seems like I let you down.'

"Didn't I tell you not to take your eyes off an enemy?"

Naruto looked up and her gaze met the one visible eye of her sensei. She closed her eyes in anticipation of the blow she was going to receive.

But-

The blow never came.

Because Naruto dissipated. In a cloud of smoke.

"Now!" Sakura yelled as she made the hand seals to detonate the tags scattered around the area. Sasuke 'hned' an affirmation and as the tags detonated around Kakashi he leapt out of hiding and fired a Great Fireball Jutsu into the middle of the area, further enhancing the explosive power of the tags.

Kakashi was seriously taken aback at this but he did not lose his head and merely channelled some chakra to his feet, jumping supernaturally high and avoiding the jutsu. When he landed again the fire had gone and there was only smoke left. Lots of smoke.

'Can't breathe,' Kakashi realised. There was too much smoke. He dropped low to the floor to ease his breathing while he crawled out of the smoke cloud.

And then he heard the sound of an incoming object and two logs hurtled towards him obviously meant to make a log and Kakashi sandwich.

"Fuck!" Kakashi leapt backwards. Sakura had probably planned that second backup trap. Then he caught sight of a flash of red on the logs and groaned. Gathering chakra to his feet, he again jumped as the logs crashed into each other and exploded into a mass of fire.

'That Sakura is one vindictive little witch.' Kakashi thought, eyeing the flames he had just barely avoided. 'What kind of demon would think of sticking explosive tags on the logs?'

And then Sasuke, his position obscured by smoke, fired another Great Fireball directly at Kakashi.

'Are you kidding me?!'
Kakashi was seriously beginning to reconsider his opinion of the three brats.

As he gathered chakra to his mouth to fire off his own Great Fireball to negate the Uchiha boys' technique he saw something that almost made him whimper. Almost.

There was another Naruto clone, fist outstretched, grinning widely and flying forward from inside the fireball jutsu, aiming for his face.

Suppressing curse words entirely unsuitable for young children to hear, Kakashi bent backwards at the waist and avoided both the clone and the fireball technique.

And then another Naruto was thrown upwards by another clone and punched him in the stomach and he couldn't possibly avoid it from his current position and crap that had actually hurt.


"That was a very creative strategy." Kakashi told them, glaring at them fiercely and making them tremble under the force of his killing intent.

Naruto - the real Naruto, the one who had finally managed to hit him - grinned at him, though she still looked terrified. "Yeah, there was fire and there was smoke and there was bangs! So many bangs!" she laughed.

Sasuke crossed his arms, smirked and let out a small pleased 'hn'. He looked terrified too.

Sakura placed her hand on her hips and crowed excitedly, "And it was my plan, sensei! I planned it all start to finish!" She also looked terrified and her shoulders were shaking.

Kakashi shook his head in resignation. "I shouldn't have underestimated you guys. Even if one of you is wearing orange. You three are probably the most evil brats I have ever met."

The three of them did not seem the least bit chastened by this and instead looked excessively pleased with themselves.

"But you do realise, that was one hit. You didn't defeat me, and you didn't get the bells. I know not to underestimate you guys now and there's three minutes left till noon. What do you plan on doing now?" he asked pleasantly.

To his surprise, none of them looked particularly upset or even surprised by his words. Instead Sasuke smirked, Naruto grinned and Sakura giggled at him.

"No, sensei. What are you going to do?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Yeah" Naruto sniggered. "What are you going to do about your precious... Icha...Icha... Paradise!"

Kakashi slowly looked to his right hand in which he had been holding the Holy Grail Of Literature. It was on fire.

"Hn," Sasuke smirked at him. He was too dignified to laugh. "It's impossible for an Uchiha to use their signature clan jutsu and miss."

Sakura kept giggling as Kakashi froze in shock, staring at his beloved Icha Icha turning to ashes right in front of his eyes. "That trap wasn't meant for you from the beginning. Now maybe you'll think twice before you go around poking girls in the butt!"

Kakashi sat there eyes fixated on his pride, his joy, his love powerless to stop Naruto as she unfastened the bells from his pouch and tossed both of them over to Sasuke and Sakura respectively.

As the last of the ashes of his beloved Icha Icha were blown off his palm by the wind, he stood up brokenly and staggered towards them.

"The three of you..."

They all looked up excitedly at him waiting to hear the good news.

"FAIL!"

They all looked down at the ground wondering where they had gone wrong.

"Is what I'd like to say... But technically you did pass, after all. This test was actually about teamwork. The bells were there as an incentive to divide you but you guys probably figured that out." Kakashi explained. The three of them looked at each other. They hadn't figured that out at all. They'd completely forgotten about that. "A ninja must always be looking underneath the underneath and you three did that perfectly. In fact I think I've learnt a lesson about looking underneath the underneath too and I will never ever underestimate anyone who wears orange or has pink hair ever again. You all worked as a team - even though you did so because of different reasons that I would have liked - and you even managed to get the bells."

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were starting to look excited again and they waited with anticipation for his next words.

"So... you pass. But-" and here his voice got stern. "First I expect a replacement copy of the book you destroyed and a personal letter of apology from each of you to the author for destroying one of his precious books. And a 2500 word essay on the beauty of Icha Icha and why you should never ever destroy one of those precious books ever again." He ordered.

Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke stared at him in disbelief.

"Do I make myself clear?" He asked, letting a bit of killing intent escape with his words.

They all gulped. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei." They chorused.


SHINOBI DICTIONARY

Caltrops: A ninja tool used to impair movement. Small spiked objects that are thrown on the ground in front of the target.

Double clone diversion: Shadow clones and regular clones are used at the same time, confusing the enemy as to which are real and which aren't. The enemy's ability to discern where attacks are coming from will then significantly decrease.

Double Suicide Clone: The user creates a clone and deliberately taunts the enemy, withdrawing to a location where a trap has been prepared. Being an illusion the clone will not trigger the trap and create the appearance of this being regular ground. When the enemy shinobi rushes into the area the trap will go off and the clone will be dispersed.

Chakra-assisted movement: Pretty self-explanatory really. A basic of chuunin and higher ranked combat.

Clone Blanket Fire: The user uses a fire jutsu – almost any can be used- and creates a clone that bursts through the flames to attack the enemy. The enemy believing this to be a real threat will either evade, block or counterattack providing the opportunity to mount a rear assault.

Clone-Assisted Movement: A technique that can be used by any ninja able to use solid clones. Basically the clones can help the user to quickly move or evade attacks by boosting their movements. Example: Throwing the user up to achieve a higher altitude than the user could by jumping.

Stupid jokes: In this chapters' dictionary there are none. You're welcome.


END OF CHAPTER TWO

C/N: To forestall any possible complaints about super powered characters let me just say that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke defeated Kakashi with 'Academy-level' skills. Apart from the shadow clones and Sasukes' fire breath. The only reason they managed to take down Kakashi is because (a) Sakura uses her big brain for once, (b) He uses academy and genin-level skills to fight them and (c) He has an exploitable weakness. If the test conditions were to knock him out they probably would not have won.