Chapter 2 – It was this one dark night
A/N: Hello! Thanks for the response so far. I can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter :)
Just so you know, I aim upload about once a week and this story will be about 10 chapters long. But really, who knows? I've never been very good at keeping to a schedule. I am the worst procrastinator EVER!
Enjoy :)
Nico felt drained already. He had only been there for an hour and he was ready to go home.
At first it hadn't been too bad. He had arrived at Jason's apartment on time, not knowing that everyone else would actually arrive later than they were supposed to for some reason, and Jason had been nice enough. He was pretty easy to talk to, and they got chatting about the classes they were doing at the university and swapping stories about Percy's dumb antics. But then more people had turned up and Jason left to talk to them, leaving Nico to hover awkwardly by the food table while he waited for his friends to get there.
But when they did it wasn't much better. Annabeth and Percy were in all-out couple mode, laughing, holding onto each other constantly, and kissing. They had Nico wishing that he had spent his time by the drinks table instead. And they weren't the only couple there. A lot of uni students had turned up - small get-together of friends, my arse, he thought bitterly - and there were couples scattered around the room doing similar, if not worse, displays of affection. It was sickening.
Nico reached behind him for the chips without looking, having memorised the position of the bowls in the time that he had been standing there. However, he didn't account for the fact that someone else would be reaching for the chips at the exact same time. Lost in thought, he had only half been paying attention to his hand, but he was brought back to reality with a bang when his fingers brushed someone else's, which then grabbed onto his.
"You know, I thought you looked pretty lonely, but not quite that lonely." Nico jerked his hand away and whirled around to face the voice. He was greeted by a shock of unruly blond hair, a blinding smile flanked by cute dimples and the bluest eyes he had ever seen. For a moment he was so breath-taken by the beauty of the stranger and all thoughts of the party left his mind. So, of course, when he did manage to be able to string a sentence together, he reacted with hostility.
"Says the guy that grabbed a random person's hand." He bit back, but his snarl became a reluctant smirk when the guy laughed.
"Fair point," he said, "I was just trying to be friendly."
"Friendly?" Nico repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, that was very friendly." He was rewarded with another laugh from the handsome stranger. Sometime in the last few seconds Nico had decided that what he wanted more than anything was to keep him laughing. He wasn't sure whether it was because he just wanted someone to talk to at this terrible party, or because he wanted to finally make a friend at university, or because he just needed to keep the attention of the handsome stranger. Probably that last one.
"Well, I am sorry for being nice. I'll just take the chips and go, shall I?"
"Fine." Nico shrugged and turned away, but he peeked back at the table over his shoulder just a few seconds later. "Hey! Put that down!"
"What?" The blond asked innocently as he stood a few paces away from the table with the bowl in his hands. "I said I'd take them."
"Yeah, but-"
"I like chips. And I wouldn't dare keep on coming back here all night and having to go through all this again. Wouldn't want you to think I was being friendly." He grinned teasingly, and Nico got the feeling he often had around Percy of wanting to both punch him and kiss him. "But if you want them, come and get it!" He gave Nico a wink (which Nico knew he should have found ridiculous, but instead he found ridiculously adorable) and disappeared into the crowd.
The moment he had vanished, the room suddenly felt a lot louder, as all the noises that Nico had tuned out came rushing back in full force. Brought back to the present moment, Nico sighed and walked away from the food table, finding an empty chair to sit down in. As much as he was aware that the cute guy's last sentence to him had been a clear invitation to go after him, he couldn't do it. He didn't know how to handle what it would mean.
Nico was gay, and he had known that about himself for a while now. But no one else did. He hadn't told anyone. He wasn't sure if he was ready for it. He wasn't ready for more of the judgement that he had already gotten more than his fair share of just from being an outsider. Nico didn't know how much worse it could get, but he did know that it was inevitable. And he knew that his father would be a huge obstacle. He was very old-fashioned and had a set way of viewing the world that was not subject to change. Nico couldn't predict what would happen when he came out, but he knew it would be bad.
The part that scared him most was that if it all went wrong, he wouldn't be able to take it back. He couldn't say, "Just kidding, I'm actually as straight as an arrow" and then go on with life as it had been. It was something that would alter the way people saw him and the way he lived his life, and he wasn't used to making such big decisions. Nico was used to going with the flow and hiding in the crowd so that he could avoid criticism. Being labelled as gay, other, different, would definitely keep him from being able to hide away.
Though there were times when he didn't want to hide. He was sick of it all. It took so much effort to constantly restrain his true self. Nico could never truly relax and feel comfortable when he had a secret lingering in the back of his mind every single minute. It had gotten to the point where he often felt guilty around Percy and Annabeth from holding back something so big from them. They always told each other about everything, right from Annabeth's horrible stepmother to Percy's struggles at school and Nico's loss of his sister Bianca. But this was different. This was something that he had to keep locked up inside him, at least for just a little bit longer.
So he couldn't go after the cute blond, even though he wanted to so badly. Nico wasn't sure if the guy could tell that Nico was gay or if he was just flirting anyway, but heading over there would definitely broadcast the fact that Nico was interested in guys. In a party like this, that gossip would spread instantly, and a drunken party full of strangers was not the way that Nico wanted to come out.
Nico stayed there waiting for the party to end (or at least for enough time to pass that he could leave), mindlessly playing games on his phone, very purposefully not looking in the direction that the boy had vanished or towards the food table. He hoped that the night would pass without anyone else approaching him and striking up a conversation with him, but sadly that wasn't the case.
"How's it going?" Nico looked up to see Annabeth walking towards him, slightly swaying on her feet from the alcohol that was undoubtedly in her system.
"I want to leave," he told her, "but I wouldn't dare be so antisocial. That would be so unlike me." Annabeth giggled, and kept on giggling for an unnaturally long time, only stopping when she hiccuped, which she found hilarious, and so she giggled again...
While Nico was waiting for Annabeth to recompose herself, he found his eyes drifting around the room again. He had almost convinced himself that he was going to stop being a chicken and at least go talk to that guy again, just to keep from being so bored. After all, he did have the excuse of just wanting chips. "You looking for Percy?" Annabeth asked, and he was brought back to earth with a crash.
He had a strange feeling of guilt for his sudden crush on the random stranger. Nico knew that there was no way that Percy returned his feelings, but it felt wrong somehow to have spent the last hour or so thinking about some other guy after crushing on Percy for years. Although, the fact that he had spent so long pining for him probably meant that he should move on and find someone else to break his heart over.
"Yeah," he lied. "Where is he?"
"Behind you!" Nico heard a cheerful voice say as a hand reached out and ruffled his hair. Rolling his eyes, he turned around to face Percy, and was reminded of all the reasons that he hadn't moved on. The confident stance. The muscular frame that stood at the perfect height of just a few inches above him. The disarming grin that was almost always on his face, the one that spoke of someone that knew how to have a good time and had a sense of humour. The rumpled hair that made it look like he had just rolled out of bed. And the blue-green eyes that always had him thinking of the ocean.
Except this time, he couldn't help but think of another pair of blue eyes, another gorgeous head of hair, another beautiful smile. Nico huffed, frustrated at himself for how one-track minded he was being at the moment. "I brought drinks!" Percy cheered, and passed one over to Annabeth. "Here Neeks, you have mine," he added as he handed a second one to Nico, who was too tired and done with the party to protest.
"So what's going on here? Are you pulling the moves on Annabeth?" Percy waggled his eyebrows at Nico, who snorted.
"Hardly. I was just bitching about this party."
"Good. I know Annabeth's an amazing girl, but she's taken. She has a boyfriend. He's the whole package - funny, loyal, nice, and really good looking. You don't want to cross him." Percy winked at him.
"Sorry, who? I don't know anyone like that."
"You little-"
"Cool it, Perce." Annabeth interrupted, wrapping her arms around Percy and leaning against him. "He's just teasing, you are the whole package."
"Awww, thanks babe."
Nico tried his hardest to tune out the rest of their couple-y conversation, but he couldn't stop himself from seeing the casual intimacy that was present in every single one of their movements, from the way that Annabeth was holding onto Percy to keep her balance, to the way that Percy tucked the hair that was falling out her bun back behind her ears and looked at her as though she were perfect, even in her tipsy state. The fact that he was so alone and surrounded by happy couples was what he had been noticing all night, but now it just had to happen right in front of his face between his crush and the woman said crush was completely and totally in love with.
"Well I'm going to leave you two to continue making eyes at each other. Don't mind me." Nico said as he backed away.
"See you!" Percy called out, and Annabeth waved frantically. Nico sought out Jason, figuring that he should at least say goodbye and thank him for being welcoming when he had first arrived. Percy and Annabeth were probably right, he did need to make more of an effort with people. But he needed a bit of help to be able to do it, and so he quickly downed half of the drink that Percy had handed to him. He wrinkled his nose at the strong taste, but soon enough he could feel the comforting buzz that came with alcohol that made everything seem a lot less intimidating.
Nico recognised Jason's blond hair over by the door and was relieved to see that he was by himself. He hadn't had quite enough to drink to talk to any more people than he had to. He just wanted to say goodbye and leave. "Jason," he said, poking his shoulder to get his attention, not really caring so much about the physical contact now that he was slightly buzzed. "You've got the wrong guy." The boy sighed, sounding as though he had said that many times. Then he looked up from his phone, grinned, and added, "or maybe not."
Nico couldn't stop the smile that rose to his face as he realised who he was talking to. The guy from the food table, the one that he had spent the last hour trying to work the guts up to go talk to. Looked like fate had taken the hard choice out of his hands. "Hi again. Hi. Hello." Nico stuttered, struggling to find the words. "I'm leaving. I was just coming to say goodbye."
"It's nice to see I made that much of an impression on you." Nico felt the blood rush to his face as he realised what he said. "No, no! I meant, I thought you were Jason. And I wanted to say goodbye to him. Because I'm leaving."
Will laughed that beautiful laugh again. "I kinda got that."
"Sorry, I just..." Nico gave up on trying to repair his mistake and instead moved onto the question that he had been wanting to ask for the last hour. "What's your name?"
"William Solace. Call me Will." He said, holding out his hand to shake.
"Nico di Angelo." He replied out of habit, but hesitated to shake hands.
"Oh, sorry, is this being too friendly?" Will teased. Nico shook his head reached out for Will's hand, grasping it again, though this time intentionally.
"I'm sorry again," Nico said to fill the silence between them, "for thinking you were Jason."
"Don't be. It happens all the time. We look pretty similar."
"But you're cuter." Nico blurted out. It took him a few seconds to realise what he had said. "Fuck," he whispered, dropping Will's hand, which he had also just noticed he was still holding on to, "I gotta go."
Without looking back, without stopping to find Jason and say goodbye as he had been planning to, without telling Percy or Annabeth he was leaving, Nico hurried out of the apartment. Out in the corridor, he realised that he was still holding onto his drink. He finished it quickly as he walked, hoping that it could help him forget what he had just done, and then chucked the plastic cup towards a bin, not even slowing his pace when he missed his mark by a metre.
Nico walked to the bus stop in the dark, the way lit only by a few flickering street lights, and attempted to distract himself with the cracks in the concrete, the sound of the night, and thoughts of his coursework. But it didn't work, and when he reached the bus shelter, he put his head in his hands and thought about the words that had come out of his stupid, alcohol-affected mouth. He thought about what this would mean for him, if Will would forget about it, or if he would tell anyone and spread his secret. But mostly he thought of Will's bright blue eyes and the smile that had appeared on his face when Nico called him cute.
