Chapter 2 – Breast Side Story
BPOV
We squeeze onto the cushioned bench that lines one side of the RV. I try not to wrinkle my nose at the strange smell, but when Bunny and Jasper open the door and climb in, I gulp in the humid desert air just in case it's my last fresh breath of freedom.
The boys sit either side of us and we're like sardines squashed in a tin. That's when I pin point the smell.
Fish.
Specifically, oily fish.
I baulk slightly and turn my head into Bunny's shoulder, breathing fresh washing powder and cologne like it's my oxygen. I think I might be sick.
"Where are y'all heading on this lovely evening?" The bearded man calls over his shoulderas he scratches his head, sending a dusting of dandruff-like yellow snow across the top of his seat. I hear Jasper gag.
"We're on our way to Vegas," Alice replies cheerfully, but Bunny's eyes widen in panic, and he shakes his head at her before she expands. She's taken her headscarf off now, and has it draped around her shoulders like Jackie-O.
"Going to spend some of your pretty pennies?" His sludge-brown eyes flare in the rear view mirror, lit by an oncoming car as they focus on me. We should have waited. This guy is freaking me the hell out. I push even closer to Bunny, finding his hand and clasping it tightly.
"I'm Alice. This is my boyfriend Jazzy and my friend Bella and her erm … "
"Boyfriend." Bunny protectively wraps his arm around my shoulder and even if it's a half-truth to a weirdo who picks up hitchhikers, my tummy flutters.
"Well it's good to meet you. I'm Cedric. It's lucky I came across you youngsters. You never know what kind of crazy people are out in the desert." The RV rumbles along in the nightand his words hover in the darkness like a warning bell. My heart's going like the clappers, and my thumb finds its way into my mouth where I start chewing on my nails, a habit I managed to get rid of in elementary school.
"Are you okay?" Bunny leans in and whispers under the sound of the engine.
"Erm … do you think we'll be okay?"
"Of course. He's harmless, and if I can get some signal on my phone, I can find the nearest motel." He waves his phone around in the air, and Jasper laughs.
"You'll never get any out here, Ed. It's the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. We're out of contact. Off radar." He smooths his hands down over his hair, which has curled and frizzed in the humid desert night, not to mention driving the convertible with a panama hat on—the ring from the brim is still indented in his forehead. I wish they'd told me fancy dress was the order of the day. I might have ordered a Cat Woman outfit. Imagining the look of Bunny's face is enough to cement the idea. If there's Wi-Fi at the motel, I'm gonna get on it straight away.
"Thank you for that insightful observation." I try not to focus on Jasper's bleak outlook, and squint out of the windscreen at the white lines of the road flashing by, searching for the bright lights of our salvation.
A motel.
The RV bounces over something in the road, throwing us up in the air, and unceremoniously dumps Jasper on the floor, where he crashes into a cupboard.
"Sorry about that. Some kind of animal I think." Cedric looks over his shoulder far too long for my liking, and I have to squeal to get him to put his beady eyes back on the road.
"No problems. We're all ship-shape back here." Jasper scrambles back up, the motion of the van, jolting him into another cupboard. He grabs the handle to steady himself, pulling open the door in the process, revealing row upon row of glass jars.
"What the hell?" Bunny's voice has risen an octave.
I'm ready to get the heck away from Cedric when my sight adjusts to the darkness, and I can make out ungodly items bobbing around in liquids inside the jars and have to stifle my scream.
"What's going on back there?"
Jasper kicks the cupboard shut and sits back down. "Nothing. Just a little bumpy."
Alice fusses over Jasper's cravat because that's what's important when you're about to be killed by a homicidal maniac.
Jesus Christ.
My heart starts hammering against my ribcage. I close my eyes and start to pray. I'm going to die without ever having sex with Bunny, and that thought makes me want to cry.
Bunny is frantically typing on his phone whilst simultaneously arranging the set of car keys in his fingers as an impromptu knuckle duster when I spot a glowing sign up ahead.
"Motel. Over there." I shout, louder than I'd anticipated. My relief makes me want to fall to my knees and kiss the ground. Christ knows what Crazy Cedric has been doing on the threadbare carpet so I refrain.
"Ah. So it is." He clicks on the indicator and pulls into an empty parking lot. The red and blue sign flashes intermittently, the buzz adding to the heightened scare factor of this whole night. All we need now is a ghoulish owner with a two-way mirror into all the rooms.
There's almost a fight to see which one of us can get out of the RV the fastest, Jasper saves himself and leaves Alice in his dust.
She squeals in protest, then takes off a shoe and lobs it at his back. It misses by a mile, causing a minor sandstorm as it lands in the dust on the side of the road.
"Thanks for the lift, Cedric." Bunny is backing away from the RV as the hulk of a man jumps down, causing a mini earthquake.
"No problem. You should always lend a helping hand to those in need." He nods his head sagely, and I feel bad for being so judgemental. Out in the open, he's less serial killer and more odd-ball, bearded yeti.
"Okay, well bye." Bunny has inched away, leaving me standing alone, so I stammer my thanks. I make to follow Bunny to give him a piece of my mind. Alice and I have the biggest pairs of balls when it comes to this road trip.
Girth and length is irrelevant, it would seem.
"Hold on a minute, Bella. It is Bella, isn't it? Doesn't that mean beautiful in Latin or Italian or some such? You're certainly that." His voice freezes me in my steps and I turn to see him disappear into the back of the RV. I swing around and see all three of my companions going into the reception area of the hotel. I gulp down my nerves but they lodge in my throat like a brick. If I don't die, someone's going to. I'm just not sure who I'll start with yet, but Bunny is nudging into first place.
"Yep, that's me. Bella's my name." I sound like a squeaking mouse, ice slivering up my spine when I hear the clinking of glass jars.
I try to call Bunny, but my voice is as weak as Rose's was floating next to the sinking Titanic holding onto Jack. I don't want my body parts put in a jar. I like them where they are. Thank you very much.
"Here we are. Homemade by yours truly. Thought you might like a sample of my famous recipe." He hands me a large Kilner jar heaving with liquid and body parts.
"Um ... I … I ..." I don't even want to open my eyes and look at it.
I'm almost expecting him to offer me a 'nice Chianti' to wash it down with.
"You don't like pickles?" He sounds dejected and I stare down at the jar. It still looks like a body part, more specifically a penis. I hear running footsteps and relief floods my body when I see Bunny running and brandishing an umbrella. I want to scream and tell him to run and save his crown jewels. The unfairness of this whole situation dawns on me, I've never evengotten close to his bits.
"Fluff, are you okay?"
"No, I'm not. You left me ... and I didn't know what to do ... and I don't want you to die or lose your ... I've never even got to touch it, let alone make use of it."
His eyes flit between me, Cedric and the jar of johnsons. A crease of confusion appears between his eyes. "What?"
"Does she not like pickles?"
"Pickles?"
"Yes, pickles." Cedric answers as I slide over to Bunny and hand him the jar.
Dropping my voice, I tell him, "We need to run. You, more specifically than me."
"What the hell are you talking about? Have you got heat stroke?" Bunny grabs my hand and lifts the jar up, peeking at the contents.
"Pickled zucchinis. It's a family recipe. From my great-great grandfather, Cedric the original, I might add."
I want to collapse onto the floor.
Bunny starts laughing like a maniac, leaving me in a stunned silence. Cedric is finding the whole episode entertaining and becomes more animated than a kid in a sweet shop when Bunny and he start discussing their favourite recipe for tomato chutney.
The adrenaline is still surging around my body and I only manage to wave Cedric and his rumbling RV away, but then my senses return and I snatch the long black umbrella from Bunny's hand.
"You left me!" I point it directly at this chest. He tries to block me with the zucchini. I can safely say I will never be having one.
"I thought you were following me. When I saw you weren't, I came to rescue you."
"With an umbrella?"
"Yes. They didn't have any knives or shotguns hanging around or I would have armed-up." He flexes his biceps and mimics shooting me, blowing the smoke from the ends of his fingers. I whack him with the rolled up brolly.
"I could have been murdered and chopped up into teeny, tiny pieces of condiments by the time you came out here."
Bunny continues to laugh and tries to pull me into his arms. "Cedric was harmless and anyway, I love pickles so even if you had, I would've been okay with it."
That earns him a smack around the head.
Not only does the motel not have a well-stocked arsenal of weaponry, they also only have one bedroom to spare.
One bedroom with two twin beds.
That's one twin bed between two people.
Two full-size adults in one tiny bed.
I've done the math.
Everyone seems to be over the moon about this revelation. I, on the other hand, look at the vomit-yellow patterned swirls of the bedspread with barely concealed disgust.
I need my space.
At any other time I would be happy having to squash into bed with Bunny, but sharing a suitably 70's room that smells of Cheetos with Alsper and an adjoining door to who-knows-where, freaks me out.
"I need to use the bathroom." I run into the clean but eye-opening bathroom with its suite in a ghastly maroon shade. Sitting on the edge of the bath, I drop my head in my hands, my skin cool and clammy against my palms.
The door lock doesn't work, so it's no surprise when Bunny comes in and sits next to me. "I know it's not the MGM Grand, but it's cosy and we're not dead soooo ..."
I glare at him, but his smirk curls my lips and before long we're laughing hysterically.
A/N - this is the second of the three part story. All our love to Pates and A-Jasper for their help and giggles. And lots of love to you for reading and reviewing. Next chapter of fluffed will be up soon. Lots of love, Choc and Sparrow xxx
