A/n: thanks to everyone who favorites, followed and reviewed. I do not own. Thanks for reading. :) oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

My alarm woke me up at 6:00am. The feelings I'd been able to escape in sleep resurfaced. Feelings of hopelessness, despair. Lately it seemed like even breathing was a challenge. Before i started making breakfast, I took a quick ten-minute shower. After I got out, I took a quick minute to study myself. If you looked closely, you could see how dead my eyes looked. And it scared me. Because I was afraid I'd only get worse and Pony and Soda would be forced to leave. Shaking it off, I got dressed and started to make coffee and pancakes. By the time they were done, it was 7:00am. Time to wake the little ones up. Awesome. Shuffling slowly to the bedroom, I pushed the door open. Pony was at the window, using the sun to read. Soda was tightly clutching- a pillow? What was that? Pony must have heard me because he mouthed "Works every time" I nod, assuming he'll explain later. "Soda, wake up." Groaning, he rolled over onto his back. "G'morning Dar. What time is it?", He sleepily asked. "7:00, little buddy. Now c'mon, breakfast is ready." He nodded, motioning me and Pony out of the room so he can get dressed. It's around 8:00 when I drop him off. He grins at me, so carefree and open I envy him, before casually walking into the DX. When I arrive at the current house, I take a minute to lean my head against the steering wheel. A moment to hide a lifetime of pain hidden behind blue eyes. After I'm sure that th mask is fixed In place, I head to the ladder and start pounding.
*Later that day*
When I get home, for once, the house is quiet. No TV, no radio, no fights, no cursing. Aha, a note. Everyone's at the movies, and'll be back by curfew. Nice to know. The first thing I do is go to my room, lock the door, shed my work stuff, put my head in my hands and cry. Sob, great big sobs that leave my body shaking. By the time, I'm done, it's 9:00. Means I've been crying for bout an hour. The boys should be home soon, an I already know what I'll say if they ask. I was doing dishes and got soap in my eyes. Plausible, enough. Hopefully they'll buy it and won't ask a lot of questions. Sure enough, as soon as I finish thinking these thoughts, they come barreling in. "Where's the other side of trouble?"* I asked. "Home or Buck's, I suppose." Soda answers. "Well I'm gonna go to bed. Long day." I tell them. "Yeah we are too. Night Dar." I say goodnight. I'd, deep down, kinda hoped they asked about the obvious redness, but alas they were too busy. I'd tried to tell myself that I'd didn't care and yet still felt disappointment.