After my fight with Kenobi, nothing was like it used to be. Master Zola only ever looked at me when he really had to and his stare was void of any emotion then. I couldn't remember the last time he talked to me more than a few words. It frustrated me. He had always been the one I could tell anything, the one who listened. It strained my calm to not being able to do that anymore. I bottled it all up. In this time, I seperated myself from other people more than I already did and began to wonder if Master Zola ever liked me to begin with. He seemed so distant now. I felt tears swell in my eyes as I sat on the floor of the very place where my misery began. The pavillion. I was alone, I never had friends, and Master Zola was, apart from grandfather, the only person I was close to. But that was over. My eyes burned but I didn't want to let the tears fall - I didn't want to have this weakness. I was going to be a Jedi Knight, I had to control my emotions.

There is no emotion. There is peace.

But peace was far from my mind as I looked up to see my master staring down at me. I scrampled up and muttered a quick 'Hello, master.' to the looming figure before me. The green Twi'lek didn't response. He didn't even awknowledge that I had said something. "What can I do for you?" I tried again to catch his attention. Now he looked at me, bewildered, as if he had just noticed I stood beside him. I'm not important enough for him to notice. But he was quick to compose himself. "We are going on a mission.", Master Zola said calmly and turned around, knowing I would follow after. The earth around the pavillion had been freshed and new tulips had been planted. I briefly glanced at them. They weren't as beautiful as the old ones. Those were lilac. Not the pure white their predecessors were. "With Master Jinn and his padawan." I hoped he couldn't sense my distaste at the mention of that git. "Get the things you need and meet us immediately thereafter at Hangar II." I just nodded and went to go to my room, ignoring everybody I passed on the way. I quickly grabbed the things I would need – clothing and my saber – and stuffed them in the bag I had always prepared and hurried to Hangar II. Master Zola was accompanied by Master Jinn already there and waited patiently for me to come. I looked around to see if the jerk was already there, but I could see no sign of him between the crowds of people. I bent my head as I came to stand before the masters. I was glad I didn't have to look them in the eyes. "Master Zola, Master Jinn. I am here as you requested. Where is the fourth member of our party, if I may ask?", I tried to keep the venom from my voice. I didn't think I could ever forgive Obi-Wan for what he dit to me. Everything was his damn fault.
"Obi-Wan should be here shortly.", Master Jinn had answered the question and I noticed then how smooth and deep his voice was. It matched his appearance perfectly. He was a powerful Jedi, a user of the Living Force, he could be in the Council if he wished. And if he wasn't such a rebell. It wasn't that he violated the rules, no, he just always did what he thought was right. No matter what others said. But everyone knew that, he was somewhat infamous for it. I thought it showed just how strong and independent he was. Master Jinn had to justify himself to no one.

"What's up, little beast?", sounded a call behind me. I didn't bother to turn around. I knew exactly who it was. "Nothing, big jerk.", I mirrored his name calling. Kenobi came to stand beside me, much to my annoyance. He had a bag slumped on his shoulder and looked like always dashingly handsome. Haha.

Yeah, right – as if. Master Zola gave me a stern glance and explained where we were going to. "There have been troubles on Treta VII. The Troitan leader has been murdered and the Trajan leader will attack the Troitan if they do not find a new one, a strong one, quickly. They want us to protect their meetings. There are two canidates. Balg'Uhr and Wys'Kah. Wys'Kah is the one who send for us. His cousin Ton'Sila is the murdered leader." 'Kah will want to keep the leadership within the family. He will fight for the position, for sure. A possibly dangerous mission. Why do we get this mission now? Has Master Zola requested it? For me and the jerk to get along better? Or is it a coincidence? No. There are no coincidences. It will be a test. If I can work with someone I can't stand. If I can control my emotions to be calm enough to face a difficult situation. I won't fail. I stared at Kenobi, who went into the ship right after me. He better not ruin this for me. As if he had felt what I had thought about him, he told me across the room we were in: "Don't worry, kiddie. If you don't punch me again I won't either." I was grateful that the masters were in the cockpit, talking with our pilot, if they weren't they would have seen me shaking with anger. How dare he call me kiddie? He was only two years older than me, for god's sake!

''Do you know how unsufferable you are?''

The twit smirked. ''I try my best, ma lady.'' I huffed. I knew what he just did. He'd changed one letter and bend my lady, a respectful titel, to malady, as if I was some kind of sickness. ''Two can play a game mallard.'', Kenobi only grumbled, apperantly he hadn't thought I could come up with a good response. ''Don't overestimate yourself. You really think you can keep up with me?'' Instead of barking out a curse at him, I just left the room searching for my quarters. After I found them and unpacked a few important things I heard a knock at the door. Who would that be? Nobody had a reason to talk to me. "Come in." I was surprised to see Master Jinn enter. "What can I do for you, Master Jinn?" He smiled and replied: "Nothing. It's rather that I do something for you. I wanted to come and apologize for my padawans childish behavior. He isn't in the right to antagonize you like this. I don't think he even really means what he says to you." I had to hold back a bitter laugh. Has Master Jinn seen us? "Doesn't mean what he says? Please, that's bullshit. He hates me!" Master Jinn lifted his brow at my language, but otherwise didn't seem to mind my critic at what he had said. "I think quite the contrary is the case. Obi-Wan obviously has feelings for you he doesn't want to understand and accept.", his voice was calm, but there was a bitter edge to it. "What? You think he likes me? Why would he do that?", I really didn't want to think that the jerk did anything but hate me. Because if he didn't I'd have to be nice to him. Otherwise I would be cruel. But what are the odds? Obi-Wan just argues with me all the time. "Well, I'm sure he sees that you'll grow into a beautiful young woman.", something like that sounded weird from Master Jinn's lips and I felt my face heat up. Emberassment was my dearest enemy. I tried to hide my face so Master Jinn would not see the blush covering it. But it was of no use. He had already seen my reaction. And he laughed. It was a deep sound that rumbled in my ears. My face was getting hotter. "You must not be emberassed, for I only told the truth. You have good genes." I stopped hiding in my hands. Why would I have good genes? He doesn't know any of my relatives besides my grandpa as far as I know. But I don't know them either. So we're square on that. "How do you mean that?", I couldn't imagine that he meant my grandfather by saying I had good genes. That would be real gross. Grandpa is old. His face darkened. He looked serious again. I stared at the master - expecting a answer. With a sigh he sat down and began to tell: "Your mother. She was beautiful. Like the sun. Every man was in love with her and wanted her. She bathed in their attention. It was her downfall. There was a man. Leader of a planet, that wanted to break the peace. He paid no mind to her. And she became eaten by her arrogance. She wanted him to notice her, even if she didn't even like him. So she gave him information. Information Senator Baidfly had trusted her with. The planet attacked, but, with much trouble, he could put them back into place. Then he found out about your mothers betrayal. She would have been sentenced to death, had your grandfather not loved her too much to let her die. Instead she was sent to live in a colony on a desert-planet.", I knew that, I had been born on that planet. My mother had died at childbirth and my father had died long before that, as I was told. Unable to see his grandchild become a slave or die on that terrible planet, grandfather got me and, discovering I was a force-sensitive like him, let me live with him until he sent me to the Jedi. It surprised me that Master Jinn knew her. He had told me this story with that spark of... something in his eyes and I desperately wanted one question answered. "Were you one of them?", I kept my gaze down, not daring to gaze into his blue eyes. He tilted my chin up, gently forcing me to look at him. He brushed a tear with his thumb away. I hadn't realized that I had begun to weep. I hated to know what my mother had done. She had risked thousands of lives, just for one man. A terrible thing to do. "You have her eyes.", I didn't want to know that! I didn't want to know that I looked like her... "Were you one of them?"Were you one of the men who loved her?, I could only whisper. Master Jinn closed his eyes for a moment. He looked like he was in pain. I wanted to help him, but found that, consumed in my own misery, I could not. He opened his sky blue eyes again. They glinted with feelings long forgotten. "Yes." It was enough to sent me over the edge. Crying, I gripped onto Master Jinn's clothes and pressed my wet face into them. "Is it wrong of me that I miss her? Even if I never met her?", it was a wonder he even understood my mumbling.
"It is not. I miss her as well.''

''But don't you hate her? For what she has done?'', my own guilt at missing such a terrible person welled up inside me.

''Everybody makes mistakes, Garuh. Some are just bigger than others. Don't blame yourself for anything, please. Nothing is your fault. You have no say in who you're related with.'', his voice was soothing, but I was much too hurt to be calmed down.

''But it is so hard to know.'', I looked at him with newfound fierceness,''Tell me about her. Did you ever...?''

Master Jinn chuckled. ''No. I was too shy at that time to admit my feelings to her. But we were good friends. I knew her through Senator Baidfly (who was a master at that time) for Sophiette wasn't a force-sensitive. She just wasn't made for it. Fighting wasn't in her nature. She loved plants and animals and cared for them when they were ill. But she was a bit arrogant. Her beauty ruined her somewhat.'', I could imagine that beauty did that to people. ''I only ever saw her good side. I was blind with love. Although my feelings were unreturned.''

Hearing about her lessened the ache in my heart a bit. I shared her love for animals. Plants always died in my care, but I really liked them. Even if they apparently did not return the favour.

Switching the subject because I could no longer bear to hear about her, I gave into a need I felt since he visited me.

''Do you know why Master Zola hates me?''