Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Is There No Truth in Beauty by Just Surrender
Well, here goes.
Is There No Truth in Beauty?
"No, dude, she just left. I swear, she ran away like I had some kind of disease," Eli groaned and ran his hands over his face before plopping down on the Torres' couch.
"Harsh," Adam hissed and shook his head. He really didn't see why his two friends couldn't just try to get along with each other, if for nothing more than the sake of the holidays. He had watched Eli deal with the pain of losing Clare for a long time and he didn't know if he could see them both in so much pain at the same time. His compassionate nature would surely kick in and he would try to intervene which would quickly end in disaster. He promised himself he would try to stay out of it, but deep down he was already itching to come up with a scheme to get the two alone together again. Perhaps it was a childish notion, but he had been convinced since high school Eli and Clare belonged together and if he could take even a little credit for bringing them back to each other after all theses years he would be more than please with himself.
"Four years, four fucking years… I was doing better. I didn't think about her nearly as much. I was forgetting her," Eli whined with his hands still over his face, muffling his words. He let them slide down before raking them through his hair. Less than a minute alone with Clare Edwards and he was an absolute mess. He wondered if she was with someone, but he was sure she was so he quickly shut the thoughts out. The thought of Clare with someone else cause bile to rise up in the back of his throat and he knew Becky was fond of the pale blue rug in front of him.
Adam rolled his eyes while Eli wasn't looking. He knew better than that. No longer than two days ago he had caught Eli with a far away look in his eye and regret plastered all over his face. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he was thinking about when his eyes glassed over like that.
Eli squeezed his eyes shut tightly, willing all the images of the beautiful cinnamon haired girl from his mind. He knew it wouldn't work. He'd been trying so long now to forget her and he couldn't. He'd tried everything he could think of, from drunken one night stands to therapy, but she still lingered in the back of his mind no matter what he did. Thoughts of the night they ended try to push their way through, but he refused to let them. Any time he thought about that night he was left in a state of exhaustion trying to figure out how it had gotten so bad… how it had gotten to the point of losing the woman he loved more than anything. It wasn't worth it. No matter how many hours he spent inside his head trying to fix the unfixable he never found the answer and he knew he probably never would. He had accepted that a long time ago, but that didn't stop it from hurting.
"She still loves you, Eli," Adam said and would have chuckled at the incredulous look his friend gave him afterwards under any other circumstances.
"Adam, please, not with this again," Eli begged and his voice sounded so broken and hopeless Adam almost let it drop, but he couldn't. He'd never been too great at biting his tongue and when it came to his best friends' happiness he sure as hell wasn't going to hold back.
"You're an idiot, man," Adam sighed and paused. "You let her go once, Goldsworthy, now she's right in front of your face and you're still too scared to do anything about it. I thought after four years you would be able to man up and take a chance."
"I'm not scared," Eli argued, earning himself an eye roll from a less than impressed Adam.
"That's complete bullshit and you know it!" Adam nearly hollered. He took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes at his friend. If he was going to be a complete and utter moron, so be it, but he wouldn't listen to anymore of his denial. "Don't do this again. I can't…I can't watch you lose her for a third time." With that he left the room, leaving behind a confused Eli and a ton of tension.
Eli placed his elbows on his knees and cradled his head between his hands. He knew Adam was right; he just couldn't bring himself to admit it. All the progress he had convinced himself he had made over the past few years was gone. As soon as he looked into her big blue eyes everything he'd been telling himself disappeared.
You don't love her anymore. Just snap out of it, Goldsworthy, he told himself.
It didn't work.
It never worked.
He clenched his jaw shut tightly and let out a long breath through his nose before grabbing his keys and walking out the door without so much as a goodbye.
He practically ran to his car and jumped in, shoving the key in the ignition with much more force than necessary. He slammed the car into gear and pealed down the street. He was being foolish, childish even, and he knew it, but he didn't care. He had to get out of there and he had to do it now. He needed to see her, but he knew he wouldn't. He was too scared of looking into her eyes and not seeing the love he once saw there so long ago; he was too afraid of all the things he knew she had to say. There was only one place he could think of to go and he knew it was a bad idea even before it fully formed, but his mind was already set so he was going to do it anyway.
I hope you guys liked it. Please review! If you liked it or not, I love hearing what you guys think. Sorry it's kind of short. The next few will be longer.
