"What's wrong with Kevin?" Nick asked that evening around 9:00. "He's in bed, is he sick?" Joe sat in the basement watching TV on his own when Nick sat down beside him.

"No, well…lovesick maybe, Alyssa dumped him, and he's pretty bent up over it…you know how it is, he tried to eat everything in the refrigerator." Joe sighed. "He'll be ok, he just needs time."

"Oh…" Nick sat down next to Joe. "What the hell are you watching?" Nick asked.

"Philadelphia," Joe replied.

"Switch it," Nick ordered. "I really, really, really don't like that movie." Nick sat back into the couch. Joe groaned, but changed the channel; he understood why Nick disliked it, but he wished that his brother would just be more understanding. "Thanks." Nick settled in as the two boys watched cartoons.

"How was your date with that Hannah girl?" Joe asked.

"Her real name's Miley, Joe…and it was one of the best first dates I've had in a long time actually," Nick said, smiling. "I really like her, I mean she's smart, and funny, and talented, and beautiful…" Nick sighed. "I just hope that she enjoyed our time together as much as I did."

"I'm sure she did Nick, I'm sure she did." Joe threw the remote control in to Nick's lap. "I'm going to bed."

"Joe, what's wrong with you?" Nick asked.

"I'm just tired," Joe said, irritated by Nick; he didn't like it when Nick was being hateful and ignorant. "I'll see you in the morning." Joe went into the room that he shared with Kevin and got into his pajamas pants, leaving the shirt in his drawer as it was a fairly warm night. Out of respect for Kevin, he left the light off and crawled into bed. He wasn't tired, he had lied to Nick, so he just lay awake, thinking sadly. Why did god have to do this to me? He asked. I mean, as if being gay when Nick's my brother wasn't bad enough…but he had to make me spill all to Kevin, and now Kevin's going to figure it out, he's going to learn my secret. Joe cursed his very existence. Liking guys is ok, Joe thought to himself, but loving my own brother? That's got to be about as bad as it could possibly get…not to mention the face that I have to share a room with him. Joe slammed his head on his pillow repeatedly and then snuggled under the covers sadly, trying to fall asleep. He could hear Kevin's soft breathing as the older boy slept what seemed to be a peaceful sleep. Joe rolled over uncomfortably, wishing that he could just fall asleep. I can hear him breathing for crying for Christ's sake! It's the most beautiful, enchanting thing other than his voice, and I just wish that I couldn't hear him breathing, it's keeping me awake, driving me crazy! Joe screamed to himself. Wait…maybe it's good that I can hear him breathing, because if I couldn't…that would mean he would be dead, and that would be uh…bad, very bad. Joe sighed. Would it be all that bad? I mean I could just kill him, and he'd be out of the picture, I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore – oh god, what am I thinking? I can't kill Kevin, and I can't think like this! Joe covered his ears with his hands as though by doing so he would be able to silence his own thoughts.

"Go away," Kevin murmured. Joe turned to look at him, but the boy was still sleeping, and he didn't seem to be having a nightmare, so Joe just took his pillow and shoved his head under it, trying to do as he did every night and attempt to escape from the agony of sharing a room with someone that he couldn't love, at least not the way he did. For him, every night was a form of torture. He had asked his parents if he could switch rooms, or if Kevin could, but they continued to insist that oldest sleep in the same room, and Joe wouldn't want to sleep with Frankie because he still used a nightlight and Nick was a homophobic prick some of the time. Kevin was gentle and kind…well except for that afternoon, but he made Joe feel important, and that's part of what Joe loved about him. This is torture!

"FUCKING TORTURE!" he screamed. Kevin awoke with a start.

"Joe are you ok?" Kevin asked, propping himself up on his elbows and looking sleepily at his brother.

"Uh…" Joe sighed. Did you really have to say that out loud? He asked himself. And god, why does Kevin look so great even when it's the middle of the night? "Bad dream," Joe lied. "Go back to sleep, I'm fine."

"Oh, ok." Kevin nodded and slumped back into his bed, closing his eyes.

"Sorry…" Joe whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you." But it didn't matter, Kevin had already sojourned to the land of sleepy time. Joe sighed and shoved his head back under his pillow, feeling very much like and ostrich burying its head in the sand. Eventually, he managed to drift into sleep, but it was a restless, horrible sleep mixed between horrible visions and frighteningly erotic dreams about Kevin.

"Joe?" Kevin said, shaking his brother awake. "You slept through your alarm, are you ok?"

"What is it? Who killed my father?" Joe awoke with a start.

"Um, no one, he's in the kitchen…" Kevin sighed. "You missed breakfast though, and you look like shit." Kevin seemed much cheerier then he had yesterday.

"Thanks…" Joe said. "That's really comforting." He groaned and fell back on to the bed. "Tell mom I'm sick, I'm going back to bed."

"You can't." Kevin shook his head. "You have school."

"I'm done with that shit! I'm 18 years old for crying out loud! And I'm sick."

"You're not sick," Kevin said. "You're being lazy."

"So what? You got dumped, go cry about it," Joe said angrily. "Leave me alone."

"Ok, what the hell? Yesterday you were being all nice, and now you're being a dick, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Kevin asked.

"I'm sorry…" Joe sighed. "I just didn't sleep very well."

"Oh…more bad dreams after the one eh?" he asked.

"You could say that…" Joe trailed off. "You were talking in your sleep again, by the way."

"When are you going to realize that I can't help that?" Kevin asked. "I'm sorry that it keeps you up, but there's nothing I can do about it, just throw something at me next time…well, nothing that could hurt, but like a pillow or something."

"Yeah…" Joe sighed. Like I would ever wake you up while you're sleeping. It's cute when you sleep talk, and I wouldn't want to disturb your peace, it's so…lovely. GOD WHAT AM I THINKING? Joe slapped himself on the forehead.

"What was that?" Kevin asked.

"I dunno, just trying to uh…slap myself awake." Joe lied again.

"Interesting theory…" Kevin raised an eyebrow at Joe.

"Kevin, I'm sorry that I was being an ass," Joe said, sitting up again. "You know how I get when I don't sleep well…"

"Yeah, yeah," Kevin smiled. "You throw things, usually food, at innocent bystanders, usually me."

"Well, there's no food left in this house after your heartbreak binge, so you're pretty much safe." Joe tried to make a joke, he wanted to hear Kevin's laugh.

"Just get out of bed," Kevin said, almost chuckling, but not quite. He tossed a t-shirt at Joe and left the room. He noticed I wasn't wearing a shirt! Joe thought, started to get a little excited. I wonder if he liked what he saw…GOD JOE! Get your mind out of there! You and Kevin? It's never going to happen…ever! Joe pulled the shirt over his head, got out of bed, and headed downstairs. He grabbed two toaster waffles from the freezer and tossed them in to the toaster. He turned around to see Nick, sitting completely rigid in a chair at the kitchen table, staring straight ahead of him.

"Nick?" Joe asked. "Are you ok?"

"There's…no...milk!"

"That's your biggest problem?" Joe asked skeptically, taking out a carton of non pulp orange juice and drinking it straight from the container.

"At the moment," Nick said through clenched teeth.

"Oh god, get over your self." Joe sighed. "Just call Hannah Montana, I'm sure she'll bring you some milk."

"Mom's getting some, but she's not back yet," Nick sounded as though he was ready to kill someone.

"O…K…" Joe took his toaster waffles and headed back to his room, where he sat on his bed and took out the book he had been assigned to read, Les Miserables. He bit in to one of his plain waffles as he began to read.


A/N Question for the readers: What is your favorite movie?