Chapter Two.
After a few flirtacious inuendoes and a stupid blonde girl behind the reception desk falling for every line pouring from the Idiot Twins' mouthes, we had finally gotten on our way. We were headed for Orlando, Florida to tape the next few weeks worth of footage for TNA Wrestling. Patrick and Josh, well better known in the wrestling world as Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, the Motorcity Machine Guns, sat up front in Josh's cramped idea of a smart money saving vehicle. Seriously this fucking thing was like a clown car. My knees were all the way up to my chin and shoved directly into Patrick's back while Josh sat hugging the dashboard as he drove along at sixty miles an hour. The only thing that would've made this car okay in the least bit would've been if it was atleast quiet but not even the radio could drown out the constant buzzing/humming that seemed to come from every orface of the car's interior. Ontop of that Patrick would not stop complaining, like at all. Seriously I thought that professional wrestlers were supposed to be tough. What I got stuck with were the two whiniest babies I'd ever known.
"Come on Josh, I'm hungry, when are we gonna stop?" Patrick whined for the thousandth time and this time I couldn't fight the urge anymore. Leaning foreward in my already tiny and too cramped seat, I raised my right arm and outstretched it, swiping it across the air until I made contact with the back of Patrick's head, to which he bitched again. "Oww! Josh, Sam hit me!" Josh was the one to roll his eyes this time, concentrating on finding the nearest exit to shut the baby up. I couldn't hold my mouth any longer, I'd had just about enough of this shit. I mean, I normally don't have this short of a fuse with either of the people in the front of the car but thanks to my short night's sleep and my hang over, Patrick was testing my patience and that fuse had already been lit. "Josh, Sam hit me..." I mocked, cruelly of course. "Shut the fuck up you big baby, all I did was smack you in the back of the head. Grow up. You're supposed to be a world reknown wrestler, not afraid of anything and you cry when a girl smacks you. Really? Man you suck." Deliberately this time I shifted my weight to adjust myself in the seat, digging my knees into Patrick's back through the back of his seat. "I don't care who the fuck did what, would you both please shut the fuck up so I can concentrate?" Maybe it was my nerves already being frazzled, or maybe it was the fact that I never listened to Josh in the first place but as soon as the last word passed his lips my left hand shot up into the air high enough that he could see it in the rearview mirror, only I wasn't waving to him, all my fingers curled down but one and a smirk crossed my lips. I'm pretty sure Josh got the hint. "Fuck you. Tell your boyfriend to shut the fuck up and stop whining and maybe I'll be nice."
Though it didn't actually work, the bickering between Patrick and I, along with Josh trying to drive and play peacemaker lasted another hour. Once Josh pulled into the parkinglot of a rather vacant looking McDonald's in some hick town in Georgia, I pushed open my door and slid out of the car. Instantly stretching myself back to the shape and size I was supposed to be. "You've both got twenty minutes to get something to eat, piss and get back here or I'm leaving without you. I'm serious." Josh spoke, eyeing both Patrick and I like we were four years old and didn't know how to listen. "So, when you say twenty minutes, is that eastern time or western time. Just wanna make sure I get the right time.." I spoke, being the typical smartass that I was prone to be. "Shut the fuck up, that doesn't even make sense." Allowing a deep growl to pass my lips, I turned to my right and looked at Patrick for a moment, trying to figure out an insult that would pin point exactly how I felt at that moment. "Nobody asked for your opinion Patrick, so shut the fuck up before I cut your balls off and feed them to you for dinner." I know, I know. I shouldn't be mean to my brother or Patrick, but somtimes I just can't help it. This was one of thoe times. Josh said nothing, he just headed inside the building leaving Patrick and I to duke it out in the parkinglot, which lets be honest here, I'd totally kick Patrick's ass.
Twenty minutes later we all had gathered back at the car with our food and whatever else we had managed to pick up. The food seemed to calm things, maybe that's all I needed. I hated it when I was grumpy just as much as I know Patrick and Josh hated it, but seriously they hadn't been very nice with waking me up and that set the tone for the rest of my day. Once we all piled back into the car, my knees once again underneath of my chin and plunged into Patrick's back, I concentrated on staying silent while I ate. It seemed to be the safest thing. Patrick and Josh on the other hand wanted to argue like an old married couple. "Could you atleast TRY not to dribble sauce all over me, Jesus Christ, Patrick." Josh spoke, using a napkin to wipe his chin. His little butt boy missed his mouth with the chicken nugget he had been trying to feed to Josh while he drove. I was pretty sure that wasn't the first time those words had been uttered past Josh's lip in Patrick's presence. "Sorry man, you hit a bump and my arm moved." Patrick tried to defend his actions. All this did was cause me to laugh even harder. Who needed cable when they had this quality entertainment to listen to. As usual however, no one even noticed me laughing so hard I almost started to cry in the backseat while they took nugget attempt number four thousand.
My Mom always said that I would never appreciate anything until after it was too late and maybe she was right about that. I know that I appreciate Josh, mostly for his trust in me and the close relationship we share even if half the time he drives me batty just trying to be my brother. Our other brothers never have understood, and I so honestly believe they never will, Josh and I's bond. It's something that is strange even to me and as I sat back listening to Patrick and Josh argue over Patrick's ability to hit the gaping hole in the middle of Josh's face I wondered about why Josh and I were so close. Eating my fries I was lost in my own little world as we buzzed down the freeway, heading towards Orlando in Josh's burnt orange clown car rental. I swear all that we were missing was the fucking big top and the weird circus music to complete the picture.
