Sorry about my tense, grammar, whatever are all over the place. Forgive me.

What just happened?

That's all I think about as I sit in front of the tv, ice cream in hand, feeling guiltier by the mouthful. A few spoonfuls have missed my mouth and landed on my pants. I really don't care at this point.

I play with my phone, as I will it to ring. She will call any second, I know it.

What I've quickly come to learn about Holly is that she never leaves anything unsaid. She always uses her words. So. Many. Words. But it's been two hours and I have heard nothing, so it must be serious but I know I can't sit here much longer when I feel like this. I feel sick and it's not the ice cream. The knots in my stomach are getting tighter by the minute.

Without a second thought I press speed dial 3 on my phone.

"Traci, are you still at work?" I say with a tremble in my voice. I hope she didn't notice.

"I am" she says. "What's up? You guys doing okay?".

"I am fine Traci. Can you do me favour? Look up Holly's address for me?"

"Gail? What's wrong?" Her voice drops.

"Nothing. Please Tracy, just do this for me?" I would have thought she would have known by now I hate it when people answer questions with questions.

"Okay, okay, I'm doing it." She quips.

"Thank you" I sigh with relief.


I press the buzzer a few times and I take a few steps back and look up at Holly's building, it's leaning over me, mocking me, making me feel as small as ever. Answer. Buzz. The fucking. Buzz. Door. Buzz.

I usually revel in the thought of a confrontation, it's when I'm at my best. But my nerves are shot, and this particular confrontation isn't very appealing to me right now.

"Yeah" I hear on the speaker.

"Holly it's Gail, can I speak to you?"

"No."

"No?."

"Yes."

"That's a yes?"

"No, that's a yes to your no."

"Holly, I'm confused."

"Not unusual for our conversations, Gail." Aww.. She made a joke :)

"Gail, I don't want to speak to you right now. Please leave me alone." That's my line!

"Hol.." I say before the the speaker goes dead. She is really not going to talk to me, is she?

"I'm not leaving" I shout towards the building. She can't hear you, Gail.

I walk towards the cement wall surrounding the overly landscaped garden and gingerly lift my self up on the ledge to sit down.

It's 6pm. 45 minutes later, and I am not sure what I am expecting to happen, but I am hoping she may leave her apartment at some point to I dunno, get food, go for a run, walk the dog. She doesn't have a dog.

"Ow, my ass" I say aloud. I shift against the cold hard surface as I hear the security door open. Please be Holly, please be Holly.

Holly walks slowly down the path towards the street light, fumbling for something in her bag. She adorably drops her glasses from the top of her head to her nose, before pulling out her keys.

"Hey, lunchbox". I call.

She turns around quickly and drops her bag.

"You're stalking me now?" Voice slightly raised as she leans down to pick up her bag.

I shrug my shoulders, as I'm not sure how to answer that. "I'm worried about you." I surprisingly admit.

"Gail, don't be be. And I thought I told you I didn't want to talk, why can't you respect that?"

"Sorry, it's not in my nature." I say only half sarcastically. She's not impressed.

She stands still for a second and looks at me before turning and walking away. I hop off the wall and run, as quickly as I physically can towards her. Reaching for her elbow, I turn her around, as my hand drops down to her wrist, squeezing tightly so she can't escape. I see her look with surprise at my hand gripping hers, so i drop contact and take one step back. I invaded her personal space. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes, and I wipe a rolling tear from my cheek. This is new for me. I can tell she wants to say something by the way her lips part as she hesitantly moves forward a fraction, but I need to get in first.

"I heard you. In the station. Before you ripped off my clothes? You said I was you best friend."

"Well... I -I ." She stutters.

"I've never really had a best friend, Holly, even when I was younger. But I'm pretty sure best friends don't blow each other off like that. You knew I was worried about you and I was trying to comfort you. You know that is hard for me to do, right? I don't do that for just anyone.

I'm not the bravest police officer, or the smartest. But I am extremely loyal to my friends and colleagues I work with. We protect each other everyday. It's part of the job. But I feel... Suck it up, Gail you're on a roll. "I feel... You threw it all back in my face."

I take a few steps back and drop my hands to my hips. That's it, that's all I'm gonna say. Your turn. She looks stunned, like a wounded dog. I have spilled my guts so she has no choice but to explain this to me.

"Before, at your house, seeing you in pain? I couldn't take it. I wasn't sure I could handle being your friend because..." She pauses. "You got hurt Gail! You shielded me from a bullet. A bullet! I know now it's not my fault. You were just being you, you are selfless, you can't help it."

Praise is something I'm not used to, and for it to be genuine? I feel a little overwhelmed.

"But it scared the hell out of me." She continues.

Is this the 'you're a police officer, your job is too dangerous' speech? Oliver said this would happen someday. Oh, she's not finished.

"My job is morbid Gail, and for some reason I like it. I spend my time with corpses!

But these past few weeks I have found myself thinking more about these people. More than I should. And in my line of work it's not healthy. I can't be be distracted, there are too many people depending on me.

You see, I realised that there is a higher risk that you could easily be on one of my colleagues table one day. Even someday soon." I should probably say something reassuring right now.

"I just need time Gail. To think."

"No." I say immediately.

"No?"

"Yes!." I giggle. She gives me a wry smile.

"I can't accept that. I have given you 3 hours to come to your senses, and I think that's enough." I say. Way to stick to you guns, Gail.

"I am so grateful for what you did for me today, Gail, but I have to go." I catch a tear falling down her face as she turns to walk to her car.

Before I know it I can't stop myself. "Please, don't leave me". Something I've wanted to say my whole life, but never could.

Holly stops, and shakes her head as she turns around and leans on her car for support. I wait for her to say something, it's been too long without words, especially from her. An inevitable wave of fear crashes over me. She smiles gently at me and I know she won't. She won't leave me today.