A/N: Bonus chapter for the oneshot!
Part 2
"Santana... is no longer a virgin."
Santana cringed at her mother's words. She knew that she should be thankful that her mom took over and spoke them for her since she clearly couldn't find the words herself... but there had to be a better way to phrase what happened than that. Especially when they were breaking the news to her father. When she looked up from her cringe to her father's face she saw his brows crease and his mouth form into a frown as he stared directly into her eyes. He was silently absorbing the words that were just spoken as he looked Santana up and down.
After what seemed like an eternity of silence, the tall man finally spoke. "Did he force you?"
Santana was taken back by his question. She didn't know what she was expecting...but a question like that was not even anywhere on her list of possibilities. She continued to look into his dark brown eyes for as long as she could as the question mulled over in her head, but his intense stare was too much for her to handle. She immediately darted her eyes away from his and glanced over at her mother for help. This time when the older brunette shook her head, Santana knew she would have to find her own voice somehow.
The sixteen year old looked back at her father who was silently waiting for an answer. Here goes nothing. "No daddy...it...it wasn't like that..."
"So you did this willingly?" His voice was short and to the point.
"Well..." Santana darted her eyes around the patio, she felt a shiver run down her spine as she opened her mouth to give the official reply. "Yes..."
Her father stood up from the table so ferociously that he sent the chair he was previously sitting in flying backwards. "Absolutely disgusting Santana Maria. Do you have no respect for yourself?"
Santana couldn't stop the tears that began to fall down her face. "Daddy I-"
He put his hand up, instantly silencing her. "I don't want to hear it, Santana. I seriously don't."
"Richard-" Shelby tried to interject in order to regrasp the conversation but she too was cut off by her husband's anger.
"She is sixteen years old, Shelby. SIXTEEN!" Richard angrily slammed his hands down on the table, shocking both his daughter and his wife.
Shelby had never seen her husband's anger grow this much. There had never been a time in their twenty years of marriage that she had ever seen him lose it like he was now. She gently reached out and brushed his arm with the back of her hand as she looked up at the huffing man. When he tore his glare away from Santana to meet her eyes she started speaking in a calm tone. "I know this Richard, that is exactly the reason why I wanted us to discuss this as a family." Shelby saw his eyes soften ever so slightly and in that she was able to see the hurt that he was really feeling by this news. His anger was only masking the immense pain he was feeling. This was their baby girl they were talking about.
She opened her mouth to continue while she had her husband's focus on her rather than focusing on Santana. "I wanted the three of us to sit down and talk about how big of a deal this was, and seeing as how she thought she may have been pregnant, I think the sex talk is past overdue."
"She what?" Richard's eyes all but bulged from his head as he snapped his focus back on his daughter. "You WHAT?!"
Santana felt herself physically trembling under her father's harsh gaze. Tears had already been streaking down her face, only this time she didn't bother wiping them away. "I'm not though, Daddy. I'm not pregnant."
"Ay dios mio!" The tall man grabbed his head in overwhelming emotion as he spewed out a slew of curse words in Spanish under his breath. He shook his head and then refocused on his baby girl. He pointed his finger at her angrily, "You..." he trailed off and slammed his mouth shut tightly as he breathed heavily through his nose. He shook his head and continued his heavy breaths. "I can't." He looked down at his wife who was still sitting in the chair at his side. "I can't," he repeated before he pushed away from the table and walked to the sliding glass doors of the house, entered it and clasped them behind him without even taking a second glance at his daughter.
Santana couldn't control it any longer. She started sobbing loudly as soon as she watched her father turn the corner inside the house, out of sight. She pulled her legs up onto the chair and buried her head between her knees as she clasped her arms around them and started rocking back and forth as she continued to sob wildly. The disappointment in her father's eyes had killed her. Him being speechless as he looked at her face... it was something she had never experienced before. She was a daddy's girl, and now it was all ruined.
...
Santana sat on her bed, numbly staring at the poster filled wall in front of her as the faint sounds of her father's angry voice and her mother's comebacks drifted through her closed door from the other side of the house. After her father had stormed away from them on the patio, the sixteen year old couldn't stop crying, so her mother had given up trying to continue any type of conversation until after the situation had been diffused. Shelby had instructed her to shower and go to her room in order to calm down as she tackled the difficult task of dealing with Santana's father. Their loud conversation had gone on for over an hour now, and while Santana couldn't hear every word, she could hear enough to know that her father was never going to look at her the same. The thought would have brought tears to the brunette's eyes, it had several times already, but this time her eyes remained dry as the thought hit her again. It was like there were no more tears to cry. How had this night gone so terribly wrong? It started off as a typical gathering with the family...and ended...like this.
The screen of her cell phone lit up again, distracting Santana from her thoughts. She stared at the device as a picture of her cousin filled the screen yet again. Seeing that Quinn was now calling her for the eighteenth time, Santana angrily reached for the vibrating phone and snatched it up before holding it to her face angrily. "What do you want Quinn?"
"I..." Quinn struggled to find words. "Hi."
Santana rolled her eyes as she grabbed her phone even harder. "Seriously? Seriously!?"
Quinn sighed at herself. "Sorry, San... I honestly wasn't expecting you to answer the phone."
"Well you've called eighteen times Q, clearly you weren't going to stop anytime soon and I don't need my phone buzzing all night, so what the hell do you want?"
Quinn flinched at her cousin's harsh words and angry tone. "We need to talk...you're my cousin."
Santana let out a harsh laugh. "Oh yea? Now we are cousins? That's hilarious because I'm pretty sure cousins are supposed to have each other's backs...not tell everyone in the family that I'm a slut."
"It wasn't even like that San." Quinn said quickly.
"It sure as hell felt like it when my father called me disgusting before he stormed away."
"Tio Richard said that?" Quinn asked shocked.
Santana sighed as her shoulders slumped. She looked towards her closed bedroom door as her parent's arguing continued to mutely come through it. "He won't even look at me. He couldn't find any words after my mom told him that I thought I could be pregnant."
Quinn took in her cousin's quiet tone. She chewed her lip before she asked the question she really wanted to know the answer to. "Have you...have you taken a test?"
Santana let out a low sarcastic laugh. "Yea. That was one of the first things my mom made me do when we got home. I'm not. I'm not and my dad STILL won't look at me or speak to me... my mom is still trying to calm him down. And my mom...she's not angry anymore...but I can see the disappointment all over her face too." The teenager shook her head.
"Oh Santana..." Quinn shook her head at herself as she grasped the phone. The regret she was consumed with couldn't properly be put into words. "I didn't want this to happen... I didn't mean for it to."
"Yea well it did. Thanks to you my life is completely turned upside down. Its just a matter of days before everyone in this goddamn family finds out."
"That's not true-"
Santana cut off her cousin as she shook her head into her phone. "You know gossip spreads like wildfire in this family. They all don't know how to keep their mouths shut. Tonight it's my mom and dad, tomorrow abuela will be calling me to go to church with her, I'm sure of it. Once abuela knows then it will just be a matter of minutes before she calls the other viejas, because stuff like this is just too good NOT to talk about during their morning cafe con leche. Not to mention I still have to face your mom too, and I'm sure if she hasn't already that my mom will share this wonderful story with Tia Dianna and Tia Rebecca too."
Quinn sighed. "My mom hasn't told anyone else San..."
"You sure? Because she had no problem telling mom... in the middle of a family party!"
"San-"
Sure, Santana felt angry but she felt more upset in this very moment. Her anger melted away as she lowered her voice, the vulnerability making its way through. "Was it really that hard for you to keep your mouth shut? I mean...what were you thinking?"
"I was upset Santana... I didn't mean for this to happen...but I was upset after you told me what was going on."
"YOU were upset? Are you kidding me?!" Santana growled lowly into the phone, so much for the anger leaving.
Quinn straightened. "Yea. I was." She said strongly. "I was upset because my cousin had just finished crying on my shoulder for over an hour about how she feared she could be pregnant. I didn't know what to do, San. I was so torn up with that news...with the possibility of you having to face that decision of what to do if you were. You're my sister." Quinn pleaded into the phone, hoping beyond hope that her cousin could see where she was coming from.
Their family was huge and they were all close...but out of all her cousin's her and Santana were the closest, whether it be because of the closeness in age or the fact that they grew up a few houses down from each other...they had always felt more like sisters than cousins, and Quinn had hoped by throwing that into the conversation it would jar Santana enough to calm down and start thinking rationally.
Santana let her cousin's words soak in. She continued to grab the phone, pressing it tightly to the side of her head as she shook her head. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do now!" She growled angrily as tears ran down her face. "Quinn...my mom and my dad, they are never going to look at me the same. I fucked up so bad."
"San-"
"Don't even deny that I haven't. I know you want to say 'I told you so'-"
Quinn cut off her cousin quickly. "I would never say that, San."
Santana let out a sob. "You've been telling me that since I started this mess... You told me I should wait, you told me that I was taking things too far too fast. You told me that I needed a reality check-"
"I didn't mean for something like this to happen, sis."
"You might not have but you were right. I should have listened to you... Now I'm in this huge mess and I have no one but myself to blame."
Suddenly Santana's bedroom door opened and her mother walked in, closing it behind her softly. Santana froze with the phone pressed against her ear. She had been so caught up in her conversation with her cousin that she hadn't realized that the shouting from her parents room across the house had stopped. She was caught red handed. Her mother hadn't particularly said that she wasn't allowed to be on her cell phone... but it went unsaid that she was beyond grounding and that obviously would include losing phone privileges.
Shelby shook her head as she put her hand on her hip. She took the few steps forward needed to be at her daughter's bed and extended her other hand, motioning for her daughter to hand over the phone.
"Quinn, sweetie?" Shelby spoke into the phone while maintaining eye contact with her daughter. She didn't need to ask who it was, if Santana were to be talking to anyone after tonight's events it would be Quinn. They were inseparable; tonight Shelby found out just how close they really were. The things she thought she knew about her own daughter she found out was epically wrong thanks to Quinn. Clearly they told each other everything.
"Uh...Tia...I was...um...just...hi?" Quinn nervously rattled at her unexpected aunt's voice.
Shelby smirked slightly at her niece's jumbled words. Her smirk quickly faded as she remembered why she had come in the room to begin with. "Santana isn't going to be able to use her cellphone for a while, hunny. I'm going to be hanging up now, have a good night okay?"
"Oh...okay...yea of course. I..." Quinn sighed. "Tia I really am so sorry about tonight."
Shelby nodded her head, still maintaining her eye contact with her daughter. "I know you are, Quinn. We will talk more later but for now I have to talk to Santana."
"Okay..." Quinn replied quietly as nerves took over for her cousin. She couldn't help but feel guilty about it all over again.
"Dulce SueƱo, Quinn."
"Sweet dreams, Tia..." Quinn replied back somberly as she drew the phone away from her face to hang up.
Once the line went dead Shelby slipped her daughter's cellphone into her back watched as Santana broke eye contact to look at the other side of the room, anywhere to avoid her gaze. As she looked at her daughter it was hard for her to see a grown woman. Just yesterday her baby was an actual baby it seemed...and now here she was...acting like an adult. Shelby gave a sigh. A wave of disappointment ran over her. As she looked at her sixteen year old she was reminded that she wasn't quite an adult yet...she was just in fact acting like she was one.
Santana's soft voice broke Shelby's train of thought. The silence was too much to bear. "Is dad ever going to look at me again?" The teen asked softly as she brought a pillow into her lap and wrapped her arms around it, squeezing it to her chest.
Shelby sighed as she snapped herself out of her daze and sat down across from the younger brunette on her daughter's bed. "Your father loves you, San."
"You didn't answer my question." The sixteen year old sighed heavily as she looked down at the pillow. "He's never going to want to talk to me ever again."
"Don't say that Santana. Your father..." Shelby chewed her lip as she tried to think of the right words to say. "He's just going to need some time. He-" the mother shook her head and corrected herself, "we both had no idea that you were sexually active San."
Santana cringed at the phrase her mother just used.
Shelby continued. "And then finding out that you were hiding the fact that you had a pregnancy scare on top of it all... it's a lot to process. Are we shocked? Yes. Are we disappointed?..." Shelby sighed before continuing. "Yes. But, your father and I love you very much, nothing could ever change that. Ever."
The younger brunette's eyes watered up again for what felt like the millionth time that night, but the tears didn't fall until she felt her mother's arms bring her into a comforting hug. That's when the dam burst. Tears fell freely from Santana's eyes as she buried her head into her mother's neck. Having her mom's loving arms wrapped tightly around her made her feel like maybe everything wasn't completely ruined. Sure her mother had said that she loved her, but actions do truly speak louder than words and for the first time in her life Santana was really understanding that saying.
"I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry..." The teen whimpered into her mother's neck once the crying fit seemed to have settled down. Santana
"Baby," Shelby took a breath as she pulled her daughter away from the hug in order to look into the young girl's eyes. "I think I know the answer to this question but I need to hear the answer from your mouth."
Santana looked at her mom nervously, giving a small nod for her mother to continue.
"Do you always use condoms?"
Santana sucked at her teeth. "Mom-"
Shelby put her hand up, cutting off her daughter before she began her protest. "Don't Santana, this is important. Is one of the reasons you thought you could be pregnant because the boy didn't use a condom?"
"I know about condoms mom." The teenager rolled her eyes as she looked back down at the pillow on her lap again.
"That wasn't my question Santana."
The silence that filled the room allowed the teenager to know that her mother was willing to wait forever to get the answer she wanted. She thought about lying, but only for a split second. She knew that her mom would be able to catch the lie... and if that happened, Santana didn't even want to think about what other repercussions there could be. She was already in enough trouble as it was.
"He...I..." The younger brunette let out a heavy sigh as she brought her line of vision back up to meet her mother's. "No. I didn't use them with him."
Shelby felt tears prick her eyes but with a deep breath she instantly willed them away. "Okay. Thank you for being honest with me." The mother licked her lips as she grabbed her daughter's hand tenderly. "But hunny, condoms are so very important, and not just because of the chance of getting pregnant. STDs are a real problem and no matter how much you might know this boy, or how clean he looks... there is always a chance that he might have something and might not even knowingly pass it on to you. Sweetie, some of those diseases are something that will stick with you for life."
Santana wanted nothing more than her mother to step off her soap box. She didn't need this lecturing. She didn't need to be preached to. "I know about STDs mom."
"Clearly you don't if you aren't using a condom, every time." Shelby made sure her voice was strong, but not too strong. She didn't want to sound like she was belittling her daughter, she just needed the teen to see that this was serious.
Santana was getting frustrated, the words tumbled out of her mouth like vomit at a louder tone than she was previously using. "He doesn't want to use them mom! Its not like I can force him to."
Taken off guard by her daughters response, Shelby pulled her head back as her brows furrowed deeply. She opened her mouth but no words fell out as she was still in a sort of shock by the outburst. This wasn't what she was expecting. Shelby forced herself to swallow the ball that was in her throat as she took a deep breath.
"Santana, hunny, if he doesn't want to use them then no...you can't physically force him to use one, but you absolutely can tell him either he gets one or you aren't able to... continue on." Shelby chose her words carefully. "You are able to say 'no' baby."
"But I...I didn't want him to find someone else..." Santana allowed her vulnerability to show. "I want him to like me, mom."
Shelby thought that Santana's words had been difficult to hear before but this last outburst was even harder than the previous. These words crushed the mother's heart. She pulled her daughter into her chest immediately. "Oh baby..." She rested her chin on the top of Santana's head as she ran her fingers through her daughter's long hair. "If he isn't willing to put on a condom for you if you ask him to...if he chooses to leave... then you shouldn't be having sex with him in the first place." She pulled her daughter back again so she could look into Santana's eyes. She paused as she noticed that the younger brunette had silent tears running down her face yet again. Using her thumb, Shelby brushed away a few of the tears before she continued. "You don't want to be one of those girls who just have sex with guys to keep them around. You don't want to be known as the easy girl that any guy can get with."
Hearing her mom's words made the ball in Santana's throat grow. Her chin began to quiver. As the silence grew longer, Santana watched as her mother's face began to form a frown. The teenager licked her lips and suddenly heard herself stumble out the words, "I...I think I already am."
"Wh...what?" Shelby barely managed to croak out the word. She felt like the air had been sucked swiftly from her lungs. Her daughter...her sweet baby girl's words were ringing over and over in her head. She couldn't wrap her mind around it.
"Im sorry..." Santana hung her head. She couldn't bear to look at her mother's face any longer. The expression she had was killing her. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't ever want to be a disappointment."
"Sweetie..." Shelby felt like a zombie moving through the motions. The thought that just entered her head would normally be something she would quickly dismiss without asking. The mother quickly stopped. Who was she kidding? There was no 'normal' about the events that have unraveled tonight. She didn't want to ask the question but she had to. "How many guys have there been?"
Santana continued to hang her head. There was no way she was going to look into her mother's eyes now. Not after her mom asked her that question. Suddenly the younger brunette felt her mother's gentle hands lifting her chin. She reluctantly met her mother's gaze and with a trembling lip she breathed out her answer. "More than a couple..."
Shelby wanted nothing more than to burst out in tears. She felt her chin quivering as the hot tears stung at her eyes. She dropped her hand from Santana's chin and gave a sigh that felt like it was draining the life from her. How had she missed all of this? How had she been so blind? Her daughter was sixteen and already had been with multiple partners? This didn't seem real.
The mother shook her head as she pulled herself together as a sudden determination set over her. "Santana listen to me. Listen to the words I am saying, sweetheart." She looked deeply into Santana's cloudy eyes. "You are worth more than this." She spoke the sentence slowly, punctuating each word, hoping beyond hope that they sink into her sixteen year old's head. "Why have you been doing this?"
Santana shrugged slowly. "It... feels good- not just...physically but... being wanted...being sought after..." She trailed off as she realized how pathetic she sounded by putting it into words.
Shelby nodded her head. Everyone wants to be wanted. She remembered being a teenage girl herself. But now...decades later from where Santana is now sitting in life, Shelby knew better. "You know what feels even better than that?" she asked her daughter honestly.
Santana frowned... she wasn't expecting her mother to come back with that. She was expecting another blow up, she was expecting her to tell her she was being childish and acting ridiculous. She was expecting her to tell her to stop being a slut... all the things that were now running around in her own head. But for her mother to keep her calm and simply respond with a simple question? That through Santana off. She feeded into her mother's direction. "What?"
Shelby smiled gently as she grabbed her daughter's hand lovingly as she prepared to answer the question she had asked. "Being in love. Having someone cherish you and value you for all that you are worth. Making love...not having sex...to someone who would do anything to make you smile or hear you laugh. That feels so much better than the alternative." She gave Santana's hand a squeeze. "I promise you will find that one day, hunny, but in order to find that type of love... you have to love and respect yourself first."
A/N: Hey guys! SO i know I had said that this would be a one-shot but...this was stuck in my head so I had to get it out. I think it needed to be here in order to complete it. I hope you feel like its complete. I would appreciate any feedback! :) Thanks guys!
