So…after writing the first chapter at 5 in the morning I figured, Okay that's it I'm done. Well I got a suggestion for a second chapter…and I thought about it…and thought about…then I threw up cuz I caught my family's sickness…I thought some more…and yup. A chapter two came into my head…so hey. What the heck. I'll leave this story down as incomplete, because who know! I might make more, but I doubt it'll be in order, because life is never organized….
…Socrates eat your heart out.
kazi
Matta's PovOH WAIT! SPOILERS! SESSH HAS HIS ARM BACK IN THIS ONE! (And I hope and pray the next chapters will say Rin's been rescued and Miroku doesn't die.)
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Lying pressed up against my pillows, in my large bed, too large for even my full form, none other then the ever-silent Lord Sesshoumaru, changed the bandages of my legs. I've been thinking quietly to myself these past few days since the loss of both my legs, and an idea is growing in me.
However I dread telling it to Sesshoumaru…he'll object or kill me…well objecting and killing me is probably the same thing in Sesshoumaru's eyes.
Another wistful glance at where my eyes had once been, I'll miss running…A few weeks ago my own kin dared to challenge me as leader of this pack. The right is mine, and when I die it is my eldest son's not some pack mate I took in four years ago…the only other person I would entrust my pack, my servants, my children, my mates, my home to, would be the very same man who now carefully bandaged up what remains of my leg, making an off handed comment about how I'm missing half a knee cap.
But…I had been too soft in just banishing that pack mate. He attacked my home, and we face in battle. I had lost control for in his mouth was one of my great-grandchildren. The hatred in me, that not only did he dare want something what is mine, that he took someone that was blood of my blood, took too tight a grip, and I lost my senses. Yes I took him down, made him suffer for that little life he stole, but I had neglected to keep a sharp eye on his followers and lost my legs as a heavy price.
I was for sure going to be killed, but then my half- brothers appeared.
Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha, fighting side by side showed up and came to my rescue.
To this day I will always resent the day that I wasn't present when this person called Naraku, was slain by moth my half-brothers. And that when even Sesshoumaru's nose told him his brother was dead, he fell on one knee, holding his Rin, with a look of utter devastation. And oh to be able to go back in time and to see Sesshoumaru hug Inuyasha when he discovered the hanyou to be alive! Ah, wishing…
I look at my legs and say what I thought earlier aloud, "Ah…I will miss running in my full form once more…"
Sesshoumaru kept up with wrapping my injuries and paid me no look, "You will find a way…as stubborn as you are. You manage to live despite this injury. Running should be a simple task."
"…Ah…but I could die even now."
Sesshoumaru snorted, "If you allowed it."
A pause and finally I said, "Yes…if I allow it."
Sesshoumaru stops his movement and looks at me. His eyes have widened and if what I wasn't about to bring up wasn't so serious, I'd pat myself on the back, and even wag my great heavy tail.
"Matta?" His voice is questioning and uncertain.
This conversation will be, without a doubt, a long one.
"Lord-Sesshoumaru, Rin-chan is now…17 winters, correct?"
He raised a brow, but since he hasn't corrected me, I'll assume I'm right.
"She had grown beautiful, and I've had many a great laugh at all the men you've chased off, and slain in order to protect her from males who wish for her to be there mate-Youkai and human alive! But…17 will quickly go to 70, and I cannot allow what you have become, to die away,"
Silence…good.
I take a deep breath, "She has brought you the happiness you lost when your father died, though I'm sure you will never shoe your happiness…though I can see how you've changed. Even if it be in small ways…I asked you years ago if she was your pup, or your mate and to this day, you still say the same thing, "She is mine, and that is all that matters." But she will age, and her skin will become folded and wrinkled with time, and her life will one day putter out. You…will them lose what had made you happy, what made you that young youkai who used to pull pranks with me in our younger years."
"Matta," Sesshoumaru is glaring at me I can feel it! It's like a painful itch, and I know if I look at him, I won't be able to look away…
Don't look!
Don't look!
Don't look!
…
Ah Hell…
I looked.
His gaze has captured mine, and as has his glowing green hand, I've touched a nerve…
"Matta," he says slowly, "Matta if your injuries are causing this discussion I will do you no harm, but if not speak quickly on where you're going with all this."
I look him dead in the eye now, "If a youkai eats another youkai's heart they gain their every power, and sometimes their weaknesses. If…a human is to eat another youkai's heart…" I pause. Oooo, it looks like Sesshoumaru has shit himself! "The human will become a youkai," I finish.
Sesshoumaru's mask is back on, "You fool. It is your injuries."
"No Sesshoumaru it is not."
He is looking at me, his stoic face gone. He is too…angry to hide any of the emotions he is feeling. Dear God, he's even disgracing himself by crawling on my bed and grabbing me by the front of my robes!
"Matta…you stupid insolent whelp, you are not to die, and not to give up your heart to Rin. Rin would not have it and I will not allow it," He snarls in my face eyes red.
Allowing my gaze to wander to the many faces of my children, captured in elegant paintings on the walls of my room I sigh, "We are old Sesshoumaru, and death is a long ways away. Even demons grow tired and wish for an early death if they had lived a full life. I have had 37 children-37! I have grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren now. I've won many battles, gains much territory…loved many woman," I laugh trying to evoke something other then anger from Sesshoumaru.
But it was a vain attempt.
"I have lived a long wonderful life…and I wish to bestow on my beloved half-brother, my beloved friend…and darling girl-child who won his heart, a gift that will allow him to always have what makes him most happy by his side," I say sighing, and glad when he allows me to sink into my pillows.
Sesshoumaru is trembling, and for sake of his pride I stare at the ceiling.
"Your territory…"
"Belongs to my son now," I say with a shrug eyes fixed on the ceiling, "A youkai who is missing his legs is not fit to rule a territory. Enemies will attack by the thousands if I allow my self to live."
"Your family Matta!"
Sweet mother-of-fuck he is pleading…pleading!
"I've already told them, my daughters and younger children don't understand…but many of my sons understand. They do not wish for my position either…I think Jin and Jou understand the most," I sigh, "They are both found of Rin, and Marina would surely miss having Rin visit her in the winter and spring time."
"Rin will not agree…"
"I've talked to her before you…" I admit and Sesshoumaru stills, staring down at his lap. I finally look at him, "She said if you allowed it, and if it was my last wish, she would eat my heart so she could stay with her Lord-Sesshoumaru."
Sesshoumaru made a low sound…and I admit I'm surprised I've won the argument though I'm happier now. The silence however, is too heavy and tense, "I am disappointed though," I sigh with a pout, "I wanted to one of Rin's pups when she had a litter of her own…"
"Matta…"
"I would raise it as my own."
"Matta…"
"Walk it, and feed it, and wash it…"
"Matta…"
"And clean it's shi-"
"Enough," Sesshoumaru says, his voice hitching a bit, "Enough my…my friend."
He placed a hand on my shoulder, "I'll allow this…this stupid, idiotic plan of yours…not to mention egotistic to thinking your Youkai abilities are anything special to give out…" I growl at him, but of course he ignores me and continues, "But no…no more jokes of what you'll miss, because I will surely…miss you."
I'm deeply touched, and if I were alone I think I would cry. Sesshoumaru and I are, and always will be dearest friends…but these words from Sesshoumaru are too kind, and too gracious to give to me. Someone, who planned to have Rin tricked into eating my heart, even if Sesshoumaru had refused.
Sesshoumaru gets up and heads for the door, "You wait here, you will not die without me present, I will tend to the other idiot brother of mine who had been injured." After these words, Sesshoumaru managed to collect himself, and I know his face will never break into emotion in front of me again, even as I die.
He leaves me alone, and I allow hot tears to grace my cheeks. I too wear a mask, but my eyes will always give me away, and I can't fight these tears back. When My first mate died I held them back, when a few children of mine were born as still born children I held my tears back, when I saw my great-grandchild in the mouth of someone I had once called friend I held them back. But I can't hold back tears from receiving such high praise, from a man I call brother, who bears his heart to no one.
"Ah, Sesshoumaru…you have given me the best parting gift any being could ever ask for."
3rd Person Pov
Matta lay propped against his pillows his long black hair spread about him like a quilt. His golden orange eyes were growing dim, and he allowed Inuyasha's four winter old daughter, Inane, to curl up against him and stroke his tail soothingly. In his other arm his youngest and last son, of 13-winters held on to him. Matta ruffled his son's hair and praised him for being brave, and in his dull deep and gruff voice gave his son permission to cry this one. His son, with all the obedience a good son should have, gave into his tears and clung to his father.
Matta's eyes with over to the surgeon, one of his daughter-in-laws , who would be removing his heart after his death. He then glanced at his eldest son, who would take over his territory, and protect the pack he was leaving behind. "Don't make any fool decisions while I'm away," Matta warns. His son snorted and with his chin held eye, and gazed over his fathers head, shot back, "Watch your asX in hell."
Matta glanced at his half-brothers Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha, "He got that from his mother…"
Rin stood behind Sesshoumaru, great tears trailing down her cheeks. She felt sick in her heart when she thought of the heart she would be eating as soon as this man she felt was her uncle would die, but for him, for his last wish she would do it.
The doors creaked, and Matta was surprised when he saw his and Sesshoumaru's mother stride in. She had her same dour face, that he could recall, it was almost a bored expression. Her presence clearly shocked the room, and Matta's family did not recognize her, and would have attacked if Matta hadn't signal for them to stop.
"Mother…I am surprised," Matta said, though his voice did not show any shock.
"A mother always knows, and always will know when a child of her being parts from this world. She loses part of herself when that child goes," was his mother's simple reply, and Sesshoumaru spared her a sudden glance, her eyes already waiting to meet his.
Matta chuckled and looked to the only other human beside Rin, "Lady-Kagome," Matta said with a grin, "You should consider this eh?" It was a joke, for he already knew the Shikon jewel that had merged in her body after the battle with Naraku had made her life lengthened by at least a hundred fold. Kagome gave a frail smile and nodded.
Inuyasha and Kagome had only known Matta for five years now, and just two years ago it was revealed that Matta was also Inuyasha's half-brother, but Matta was easy to get along with. Matta would be missed.
Matta then turned his gaze to his room's walls as he had done before to look at the face of his children. He had asked that his room be sealed off, and that be his tomb so that he would always be reminded of his family in death. A few new pictures had been added to Matta's ceiling, that Matta finally noticed when he sat up. It was of Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, and his father…
He looked at Sesshoumaru who spared him no glance, "Rin suggested that you should have something to look up at as well." Matta laughed a hearty laugh, the last laugh he would ever share again. He finally sighed, and rubbed both Inane's and his youngest son's shoulders. "Remember, leave my eyes open…do not close them so that I may see the pictures," Matta ordered, and there were several nods around the room.
Matta said no more, and seemed to be concentrating, brow becoming wrinkled for a moment. And then…his face relaxed and a pleased look crossed his face. Matta had stopped his heart from beating. On his frozen face, was a grin that seemed to say, 'Ha, ha! I'm so powerful I can will my heart to stop!'
Low cries filled the room but all got up, except the surgeon.
It seemed only a few seconds later when she emerged, and several servants began the ceiling of Matta's room. She walked over to Rin and presented her a heart in a white bowl. Rin looked at it swallowing hard, and took the mass in her hands looking sick. It was too big to swallow in one gulp, she would have to chew this heart that belonged to Matta, her dearest uncle. The woman looked at Sesshoumaru who stood the furthest away, and for one of those rare moments, he was staring right at her, and not just glancing, or turning the side of his face to her. He was staring right at Rin.
Matta had never asked Rin what Sesshoumaru was to her, for as a child he knew she would not know what to say. He had meant to ask her as a woman, but Matta could never seem to find the right moment to ask Rin, nor did he ever feel there was a correct answer Rin could give him.
Rin turned back to the blood organ in her hands and took it to her lips like a sacred red fruit…
And the next day Rin walked obediently behind Sesshoumaru, her eyes sparkling golden, a moon crescent upon her brow, and a long thick black tail draped about her shoulder in the fashion Sesshoumaru wore his own.
End
I think Sesshy's fluffy is his tail…so…shrug
