a/n: okay, so here's chapter two! thanks for reading . i hope you enjoy it!
disclaimer: I do not own twilight
Bella's POV
I drifted in and out of consciousness for days, feeling nothing. There were flashes of color, images, none of which made any sense.
I knew I was dead, somehow. It wasn't what I had expected, to say the least. There was no white light at the end of the tunnel, no voices. Just endless amounts of nothingness.
Can this be hell? I wondered often. It didn't seem likely. There was no way it was heaven. If it were, he would be here. And he wasn't.
Wherever I was, I was alone.
When I finally came to, I was lying on a beach. I wasn't broken anymore. Of course not. I'm dead now.
If anything was clear, it was that I was no longer in my body. So what was I? a spirit? I almost laughed at this, but it never made it out of my lips.
I considered standing up, but the beach was really just too comfortable. It was nothing like the beaches at La Push, where the "beaches" were covered in rocks, smoothed over by the monotonous crashing of the waves. This beach was covered in sand, or at least that was the closest approximation I could come up with. It was unlike any sand I'd ever seen. The sand in Arizona were rough, coarse, just like the air was. I hadn't had the chance to visit René e in Jacksonville, so I couldn't compare the sand there to the "sand" here.
And I never could. Because I was dead.
Begrudgingly, I stood up. I'd contemplate the sand later. Then I wondered--was there time in the afterlife? I looked around foolishly for someone to ask. Be it heaven or hell, there must be someone in charge around here.
Then it dawned on me, maybe there wasn't an afterlife. Maybe it didn't exist. I don't think I could be reincarnated, though. I'd probably end up being a snail for all the terrible things I'd done.
Perplexed, I began to walk. I appeared to be on an island of sorts. There was a thick jungle about fifty yards from the waterline. It looked wild and dark, a place best avoided. But there was something mysterious about it, which gave it a dangerous appeal.
I shook my head. I wasn't really in the mood to go slashing through thick plant life at the moment.
I walked almost all the way around the island, only stopping when I came to a lagoon with murky, menacing water. Considering that this island seemed to some sort of 'paradise', it was fraught with peril around every corner.
Up until that point, I'd avoided the forest completely, but not just because it was dark and scary. I was leery of any pre-death memories occurring in forests. After all, I'd died in the woods.
Once, figuratively, when the love of my life left. For good.
And the second time, not too long ago, when my body followed where my heart had gone four months previously--the land of the dead.
Now I had several options.
Option One:wade through the lagoon. Not a chance.
Option Two:turn around and walk on the beach some more. Not a bad option. Except that it would be rather boring, and the tide was bound to come in at some point.
Which left me with option three: to head into the woods. I would have to go in there eventually, anyways. What's the point in stalling? At any rate, I wasn't going to just stand here forever.
So option three, it was.
Much to my dismay, it was quite difficult to make my way through the dense greenery. Moss covered every inch of the forest like thick green paint. The canopy above didn't allow any light to reach the ground, making it difficult to see. I discovered that, unfortunately, I was still clumsy as ever, tripping left and right.
I had the sensation that I was climbing uphill towards the center of the island, though it was impossible to tell due to the lack of light. I was sure that the task of climbing through the jungle would have exhausted me when I was alive, and while it certainly wasn't easy now, I felt no need to stop and rest.
I was sure it was dark by now, as I'd been climbing for several hours. However, when I finally came to a clearing, I was shocked to see that the sun hadn't moved at all. I frowned. This was most peculiar. Spying some nearby boulders, I ran over to them and began climbing them, hoping I'd be able to see the view from there.
What I saw amazed me. Miles and Miles of endless green stretched in every direction until it reached the sparkling, azure sea.
"Wow." I breathed, breaking my own reverie. It was eerily quiet on the island. I hadn't seen any animals or birds or even insects, and as far as I knew there weren't any other people, or whatever I was. I felt completely isolated.
It didn't last.
From behind me, a startling voice that was almost familiar replied, "Wow, indeed."
Edward's POV
I lay there, curled up in a ball, completely and utterly useless.
I didn't care.
The only thing that had ever really mattered to me was gone.
"It's better this way." I tried to convince myself, my voice void of any emotion at all whatsoever.
I felt my phone vibrating, but I ignored it. I was sure that whoever was calling, I didn't want to talk to. Unless…
Afraid to hope, I checked caller I.D.
Home, it read, though it wasn'treally home. . Home was with her. I tried carefully not to think of her name anymore. It hurt too much.
But she wasn't calling. And she never will. I thought bitterly, angry with myself. It's probably Rosalie.
Then the thought occurred to me; I could call her. I wouldn't say anything. Just to hear her voice again...
I was already dialing. I pressed send, but before the call could connect, I hung up.
What was I thinking? Calling wouldn't help either of us. Not that she would know it was me.
Caliing her would make staying away just that much harder.
My phone buzzed again. I started at it with my lifeless eyes, seeing nothing.
Seeing her.
I snapped back to reality. Home was calling again. Reluctantly, I picked up.
"Hello?" I sounded dull, dead. As dead as I really was.
"Edward! You answered!"
"Esme." I softened a little. Behind her shock that I'd actually answered, there was deep hurt.
"Edward…you need to come home." she began cautiously, but without stalling the point. Not this again. "Esme, I really don't think that's a good idea." I tried to be kind, but I was tired of having this discussion.
"I beg to differ." She sounded determined. Before I could protest again, she continued, "We have important things to talk about…as a family." I frowned, deeply confused.
"I don't understand. Why can't we just talk about this over the phone?" My voice was hard. Being around my family would only make me think of her. it simply wasn't fair to them. I wouldn't do it.
Trust me. We shouldn't talk about this over the phone."
I exhaled exasperatedly. What could we possibly have to talk about as a family that would require my presence, in the flesh and…not exactly blood.
"What on earth, Esme-"
"It's about Bella." She said carefully. I still flinched when she said her name. But she had what she was after--my attention.
"Bella?" I forced myself to say her name. I sounded like I was begging. Esme remained silent. "Please tell me." I couldn't stand it. What was she trying to do to me? "Not until you're here and we're a family again."
I groaned. I was being blackmailed, so to speak. Suspicion was seeping in to the corners of my mind. Was this some kind of twisted trick to get me to come home?
No. Esme wouldn't do that. Unless she was desperate. I thought accusingly. Still, my curiosity was about to get the best of me.
"Will you at least tell me if she's ok?" I tried desperately.
"Not a word 'til I see you." I could feel my resolve slipping. I would undoubtedly cave in soon.
I sighed. I felt rotten. No matter how I looked at the situation, I lost.
"Alright, Esme," I surrendered. "I'll come home." I could almost hear her smiling. "But only for a little bit." I felt bad crushing her short-lived bubble of happiness, but it would be worse later when I left again if she weren't expecting it.
She thanked me(profusely, I might add) before she hung up. It was the best I could do for her. For them. For…Bella.
Bella's POV
I turned slowly, unsure of whether I should be afraid or not.
At first, I didn't see anybody. Maybe I'd imagined it? I'd been known to have hallucinations before. But then I saw him.
An average sized, very non descript man emerged from the edge of the clearing.
Though he was simple, there was something very beautiful about him. Of course, I was somewhat biased. This man had nothing on the Cullens. What was it about him, then, that made him so…appealing?
Unsure of what to do, I cleared my throat. "Um, hello." It came out sounding irritated instead of cautious. Oh well.
The man chuckled softly, clearly unphased by my strange greeting. This annoyed me fr some reason, but it wasn't directed at him.
"Hello. You must be Bella." My mouth fell open. How did he know who I was?
He chuckled again, prompting me to snap my still open moth closed.
"I'll take that as a yes." He said, amused.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" I tried to sound apologetic.
He considered this. "I think so. You've probably heard of me." He paused, looking thoughtfully at the sky.
"And you are…?" I prompted him. For some reason, I found myself impatient.
"Who I am doesn't really matter." he retorted dreamily. I beg to differ. I was more than a little miffed with his vagueness.
"Alright, fine. Don't tell me. I just wanted to know your name." I crossed my arms and pouted, hoping to guilt him in to telling me. He looked uneasy.
"Well, I suppose…you may call me Nat."
"Nat. Alright. Is that short for something?"
"It is short for Natas." he looked a little embarrassed. I frowned. That sounds made up. "All names are, in a sense, 'made up', if you think about it." He smirked. I stared at him. Had I said that out loud? I blinked, trying to clear my head.
"That's not what I meant." I said finally. I was almost positive that I hadn't said that out loud. "I meant it sounded like you made it up on the spot."
He smiled. "And if I did?" Good question.
"I suppose it doesn't really matter. What's in a name?" I quoted Shakespeare, trying to make a joke, but he just cocked his head at me. Embarrassed, I went on. "If you did make it up…I don't understand why you would do that."
"If I had, hypothetically, made up the name, I'm sure I would have a very good reason for doing so." His tone hinted darkly at something I wasn't sure I wanted to know. It made me uncomfortable.
"Whatever. Sorry if I offended you." I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye, so I looked at the ground instead.
"It's not a problem." I glanced up to see that, at some point during our discussion, Nat had inched closer to where I was, still standing on the boulders. It was an awkward way to hold a conversation, but I wasn't so sure I wanted to come down yet.
Though I was more than a little weirded out by Nat, I was also curious. I knew I should just drop it, but I couldn't help but to ask about his name again.
"Just so we're clear, Nat is your real name?"
"It's as good a name as any." He replied, clearly avoiding the question.
"Where'd you get a name like that?" I prodded. It reminded me of the time another time I'd interrogated somebody…him.
He deflected my question stubbornly. "My, aren't we curious?"
I shrugged. The questions were easy enough.
"Bella, you do realize you're dead, right?" I was shocked by the bluntness of his question.
"Well...yeah. I kind of figured that one out awhile ago…"I sputtered. How could I not know that?
"You'd be surprised." he answered my unasked question. I shifted uncomfortably on the rock. I grimaced. I hadn't thought about the fact that I was dead since Nat arrived. "Sorry." He apologized. I looked at him. He seemed genuinely sorry.
"How do you know that I'm dead?" I demanded suspiciously. He smiled playfully. It was a good look for him. It made him even more appealing. I still couldn't place what it was about him that was so…what? Attractive wasn't the word. I found myself on the ground standing in front of him. That's odd. I noted to myself. I don't remember climbing down from the rock…I let the matter drop for now.
"Where am I?" I asked suddenly.
"Where are we?" He corrected. I nodded stiffly. "Good question." I sighed, exasperated. This was getting old. "What I mean is that it has many names. It just depends."
"On?"
"What you do and don't believe."
"Care to elaborate?" I asked sweetly. He raised his eyebrows, seeing right through me.
"Some call it purgatory. Others, limbo." I frowned. I'd read about this place in Dante's Divine Comedy. It wasn't anything like this. Of course, it was a work of fiction. It was probably about as far off the mark about the afterlife as Dracula was about vampires.
Nat continued, not noticing I'd stopped paying attention. "Most people, however, just call it The Island." Most people?
"What do you mean, 'most people'? I haven't seen anyone else here, other than you."
He shrugged. "Majority of the people who come by here don't stay, if they can help it."
"Why?" I asked, burning with curiosity. He chuckled quietly to himself.
"Would you opt to stay here longer than necessary?" he gestured around.
"No, "I admitted sheepishly. "Probably not."
"Exactly."
"When you say longer than necessary…" I paused, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
Sensing my hesitation, Nat finished my thought. "Yes, Bella, you do have to stay here."
"How long?" I asked quietly.
"Well, you only have to stay here until you finish. But after that, you can stay as long as you want."
I scowled. Finish what?
"Your business."
a/n: sorry for the cliff hanger. it would have been way too long otherwise. this isn't my favorite chapter ever...But the next part is almost done! I promise.
if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask( i.e. why is Bella so obsessed with Nat's name?) answer:It's important. trust me.
