2

Leonard and Sheldon lived in a modernized apartment house in Pasadena with an elevator that had stopped working in 1976. Their neighbors consisted of Miss Lynley, a widow on the first floor with seven cats, and Mr. Shapiro, a greeting card writer who never came out of his place except on Sundays to go to church and come back. There was also Miss Estrada raising her two grandkids on the second floor, and Mr. Ramirez, a former wrestler in the last days of an ugly ten-year divorce from his wife. The only worthy neighbor was Penny Parker in the apartment across from the guys. She was a struggling actress from Nebraska, and Leonard was in love with her and hoping for more. The guys came home bearing the brunt of torture from their flight from New York. Screaming kids, crowded conditions, a fat guy constantly using the bathroom every ten minutes and along the way, Howard monitoring the flight for flying persons in their airspace.

"My god…" He brought up the rear of their journey to Leonard and Sheldon's third floor Pasadena apartment. "Thank god for small favors… Remind me to never fly coach again."

"I know we left the airport an hour ago, but…" Raj continued the griping. "But I still hear screaming kids in my head." They neared the apartment.

"I had a nice flight…" Sheldon responded delicately arrogant. "I listened to music, had cookies and a very nice nap."

"You got bumped to First Class because the flight was overbooked!" Leonard snapped. "My god! You know, the next time a flight attendant says she has room for someone up front, you could have invited us up front."

"Why would I do that?" Sheldon pulled his key out to unlock his apartment door. Leonard just rolled his eyes out of disbelief and noticed a guy sitting and waiting at the landing outside Penny's apartment. He looked up to the guys to reveal large blue eyes, dark brown hair with twinges of white and gray hair. He looked to be in good shape, like a sports star or something. He wore a thin Khaki jacket with blue jeans and a white shirt.

"I wonder who he is?" Leonard spoke as he entered his home and dropped his duffel bag.

"Maybe Penny's goy a new beau?" Raj theorized.

"A guy that old…" Howard was skeptical. "Maybe Penny's turning tricks and he's her pimp."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Leonard resisted that crazy idea as he looked back. "Maybe she owes him money…" He turned round and re-entered the hall, crossing the first set of stairs to the steps to the fourth floor where the guy sat. Leonard looked at the guy curiously. "Excuse me, but can I help you…"

"Yeah…" The guy looked up. "Do you guys know the girl who lives here?"

"Well…" Leonard adjusted his glasses and recalled bad experiences with the people from Penny's past. "Kind of… Is she in trouble?"

"No, no…" The guy lifted his feet up to almost six feet in height. "I was just trying to see her. Is it okay if I use your phone? My phone is…" He waved a dead phone.

"Yeah, sure…." Leonard invited the gentleman and showed the way back to his place. "Uh, these are my friends, Raj, Howard and Sheldon…"

The guys all suspiciously acknowledged their guest in different ways. Sheldon stood stiffly in back and observed.

"Hey guys, I'm James…"

"James, is it…" Howard mugged cockily. "So, what do you do?"

"I'm a cop." The guy found the phone to leave a message with Penny.

"Oh god…" Howard tugged Leonard closer. "Dude, you just surrendered your girlfriend to the police!!!"

"No, I did not."

"Penny's not going to do it with you if you send her to prison." Raj pointed out behind their guest's back.

"On the contrary…" Howard pulled Leonard away. "He's going to get conjugal sex. That's like the best in the world!"

"Penny's not in trouble." Leonard scoffed.

"On the contrary…" Sheldon was mixing his regular cup of chocolate milk to relax and sip upon getting home from a big trip. Claiming it from the microwave, he also claimed his spot on the sofa and nested into it. "You don't know anything about this guy. You don't know if this guy is someone she wants to meet or try to avoid. She may not want to see him. He could be from a part of her life she wants to avoid." He sipped his chocolate milk. "Your relationship with Penny could be toast."

"You don't know that…"

"Guys…" Their guest turned round from the phone near the door. "Thanks for the phone, but her voice mail is full. I'll just leave this message on her door and get going. Thanks away…" He revealed a note in his left palm but hesitated to notice the guys' comic book purchases from New York City. "Good investment. You know, I used to collect comic books myself. All the way back to Ghost Rider #1..."

The guys suddenly snapped to attention. Did this guy say he comics back to the Late Sixties?

"Wait!!!" Howard rushed out and grabbed the guy from leaving the note on Penny's door, dragging their guest back into the guy's apartment and trapping him inside. "Look, man. I'll give you one thousand dollars for one Ghost Rider #1!"

"Forget that!!!" Raj countered. "Eleven hundred and my Mark Hamill-autographed Star Wars paperback novel!" The guys became desperate.

"Fifteen hundred and my autographed photo of Nicolas Cage!!!" Howard countered.

"Guys, what are you doing?" Leonard retaliated.

"Bidding!!!" Howard and Raj screamed.

"I will go as high as $2000 for Amazing Spiderman #100…" Sheldon rose to the occasion. "Mint copy only, vacuum-packed, flat rate…"

"What's your earliest Daredevils?" Leonard suddenly saw the light.

"Daredevil…" Howard smirked with a bit of a scoffing noise. "Rookies… I've got stocks and bonds from Jewish relatives. Just name your price. I'll pay anything for your earliest copies of Fantastic Four…"

The guys started bidding and offering anything they had for anything James had left over from his youth. They offered hard cash, comics, valuable merchandise, Sheldon offered his hot sister as a bride… Raj asked if James had any of the Seventies Star Wars action figures or sets. They began offering their recent purchases from New York City. Their bids and offers started getting louder and louder as they tried to outbid each other.

"Guys… guys!!!" James regretted revealing her was a grown-up comics geek. "What makes you think I'm willing to give up years of collecting… Oh, hell's bells, my wife wants her exercise room back anyway…" He recanted. "Look, just write down your bids and requests and I'll honor the best ones…" The guys split in feverish hurries to get scraps of paper to write out their wish lists. Raj started fighting with a finicky ballpoint pen. There was a sound from the hall, a thump from the wall on the landing and Penny announced her arrival by walking into the guy's apartment.

"Hey guys, about this note on my door…." Penny strolled in wearing shorts and a striped shirt. "Daddy!!!

"Pookie-butt!!!"

"Pookie-butt?" Howard and Raj started snickering.

"Apparently I was wrong…" Sheldon re-examined his hypothesis. "Maybe he could be her father. How could I have missed that?"

"Daddy!!!" Penny was hugging her father. "Please, don't call me that in front of my friends. Um, what are you doing here?"

"Well, princess…" James Michael Parker lovingly shaped his baby girl's face with his hands and big grinning smile. "Your mother's in one of her moods so I decided to give her a while to cool off…" He paused tiredly. "About two weeks worth… and since I've got friends out here in the LAPD, I thought I'd come visit you."

"Oh, wow…" She responded lackluster, feeling him already stifling her independency. She looked to the guys scribbling lists and price amounts and wondered what had conspired.

"Penny…" Leonard came strolling up. "Uh, forgive my confusion, but… didn't you say your dad's name was Bob?" He asked a bit perplexed. Her father also stood at attention a bit offended and wanting an explanation.

"Oh that…" Penny looked to her father standing over her with those big arms folded over his chest. "Well, Leonard, sweetie, when I said that, you guys were still a bit… well, creepy to me and I didn't want you knowing a lot of stuff about me."

"Right…" Howard got a message whispered to him from Raj on Penny's presence. "Penny, as Raj points out… didn't you tell us your father was a baseball coach?" James was still a bit offended.

"He is…." Penny was forced to tell the truth. "Little league… and during the summer…"

"I thought you also said your mother was dead." Sheldon pointed out the worst one.

"Penny!!!" James was appalled.

"I was fighting with her at the time!!!" She took her dad's arm. "She deserved it!!!" She dragged her father back to her place to keep from embarrassing her. Howard meanwhile thought of his book, Superheroes In Reality, and tagged along a few feet.

"Sir, small question…" Howard leaned over a bit covertly at the door. "Did you by any chance find Penny as a baby sent to this planet from a dying civilization in another galaxy?"

"Do me a favor?" James looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Stay away from my daughter."

"Yes, sir…"

"Daddy, please…" Penny found her father's night bag on the steps outside her apartment and picked it up for him. Her father was in Pasadena less than a day and was already embarrassing her royally. Covering her face with her hand, she sighed, let her father into her apartment and looked up to Leonard looking at her.

"Penny, don't worry about it…" He tried to lend his support. "Look, we all have parents who embarrass us."

"Do you ever lie about your parents?"

"No…" Leonard claimed with a slight shake of his head.

"Leonard, my dad's a police officer…" Penny looked for relief. "Do you know how hard it is to date when your father has guns in the house?"

"Well…" Leonard thought about it. "Not really, but Sheldon's from Texas…" He paused. "He might know…"

"God, how am I going to get by with him hovering over me…" Penny sighed with her hand to the head, started to turn into her home then paused and looked back. "Oh, I almost forgot…" She stopped and turned to Leonard. "So, how much did you guys win on Cash Cab?"

"None…" Leonard lightly remised.

"Oh, sweetie…" Penny tried to be tactful. "I'm so sorry. You lost it all on the last question, huh?"

"No…" Leonard just extremely embarrassed. "We missed all three of the first three questions!"

"What?" Penny was incredulous. "How it that possible? I was your mobile shout-out on the Gilligan's Island question! I know that answer was right!"

"I know, but Sheldon wouldn't use it!" Leonard had never been so humiliated. "He kept insisting that it was no such island and kept insisting on a question from astronomical physics. That guy was so angry that he physically pulled Sheldon out of the cab!"

"Leonard, honey…" Penny came up fondly. She had a soft spot in her heart when it came to him. "I honestly don't know why you stay around him."

"Neither do I!"