Chapter Two
When Van opened his eyes, he found that he was lying on the cot, but the cave was empty. Slowly he rose himself up to a sitting position, but instantly had to cup his side in pain. Looking down and slowly removing the bandages, he saw a nasty scar from where the controls system had cut him stretching across his ribcage, where deep bruises lay underneath his skin. Gently touching his ribs and spazzing at the pain, Van took the time to look more closely at his surroundings after he redid the bandages. Raven had left a pill next to his cot for him to take, and a fresh piece of bread for dinner. Quickly devouring the bread and pill, Van raised his left hand to the cave wall and slowly began his journey to stand up. When he finally made it to his feet, Van took a few uneasy steps towards the entrance of the cave. Peering out over the side, Van saw a river rushing by, making him dizzy. Leaning heavily against the wall of the cave, Van turned around and slowly began walking towards the supplies box Raven had stashed against the wall of the cave. Kneeling down beside the box and fighting against his protesting ribs, Van opened the box and searched inside. Nothing except some bullets and a flare gun were found inside.
'He must have my knife on him,' Van thought to himself.
Sure enough, his question was answered when a voice laughed, "If you're looking for your precious knife, you won't find it in there. I made sure to keep it in a safe location far away from your able reach."
Van turned his body to see Raven standing in the entranceway of the cave. Behind him, Shadow hovered in the air.
"Raven, I want you to -" Van was cut off as suddenly he got a terrible migraine.
As Van collapsed to his knees, holding his head and gritting his teeth, Raven tutt-ed and walked forward, remarking, "Those pills are designed to keep you under my control. If you should act out in unquestionable ways, I can cause the pain to flow fresh through your body as if you were being electrocuted all over again."
"That's barbaric!"
"That's life," Raven quipped.
"Who gave you these?"
"Pills I stole from Prozen's place before he was defeated. I've been saving them up for a special occasion."
"You're a monster, Raven. You were always a cold-hearted bastard, and now you'll get what's coming to you!"
Van's eyes locked with Raven's, and the criminal was surprised at the level of hatred in Van's eyes.
"Do you really hate me that much, Van?"
The question caught the hero off-guard and he looked down at his hands. Raven nodded and moved to kneel before Van.
"Well? Do you hate me?"
"I hated Prozen and everything that dealt with him...I hated people who thought the Empire and the Republic should forever be at war with one another...and for a time, I even hated myself...but I can't hate someone who doesn't know what their heart truly wants."
Van looked up and his eyes met Raven's as he whispered, "You're feelings are conflicted, Raven. You don't know what you want or what side you want to be on. You're angry, and have every right to feel that way. But most of all you're weak."
Raven lashed out against Van, smacking him across the face. As stars flashed before Van's eyes, Raven's body shook with rage.
"You don't know anything about me!" Raven shouted at the boy.
Van struggled to regain his composure as he looked up into Raven's eyes.
"Do I know nothing, or do I know too much?"
Raven slapped him again in the opposite direction, causing Shadow to chuckle as Van hit the ground. Raven roughly picked the boy up by the front of his shirt and looked deep into his eyes.
"You don't know a damn thing about me," Raven hissed.
Van simply looked into Raven's cold, heartless eyes and saw a mixture of fear, anger, and rejection there.
"You're wrong, Raven...I do know about you. And I know you want happiness."
Raven raised his hand to strike Van a third time, but something in his opponent's eyes made him falter and hit the ground instead.
"You don't know anything about what happiness means to me," Raven whispered, but his voice was filled with sadness instead of anger.
Van felt something in his heart tug at the lonely expression on Raven's face. He was just about to comment when Raven suddenly threw Van against the floor and trudged out to the entrance of the cave.
"I'm going out for a run with the Genosaurer with Shadow. I'll be back in a few hours."
Van watched as the boy and organoid disappeared while he crawled over to his cot and slumped down on the material.
It was time for another nap.
Raven sent the Genosaurer into full speed as he put as much distance between himself and the cave as possible. When he was sure nobody was following him, Raven locked the Genosaurer into the ground and opened his signature attack on a local farm house. Watching the locals run out screaming with all of their family members and prized possessions in tow left Raven with a sense of purpose as he half-smirked to himself. This was his purpose in life - he had been raised by Prozen to be a machine, and that was what he was on Planet Zi to do. To destroy.
He was a destruction machine.
Shadow growled softly, but even his precious organoid's affection couldn't comfort Raven at the thought of his own existence. There had to be another reason as to why he was on this planet. A part of him deep down knew that he wasn't supposed to be a machine forever, but he didn't know what his true purpose was.
As he watched the farmhouse burn, Raven thought back to his conversation with Van. What if Van had been right? What if there was a way for Raven to achieve happiness? But how could a weapon of destruction like him ever hope to find happiness? Raven turned the Genosaurer around and quickly sped off, deep in thought.
The more he thought however, the more pissed off he got. He was angry, that was true; he was angry at Prozen for turning him into the machine he was, he was angry at Ambient for murdering his parents, he was angry at Prozen for sending troops to kill Van's father, the man who had taken care of him when nobody else would, and he was angry at Van for being the hero. Raven gave a war cry and shot another electromagnetic shot into the air, firing at everything and nothing in sight. As the shot died down, and Shadow growled again, Raven gave a heavy breath and sighed.
He needed another talk with Van.
Van awoke and saw that it was growing dark outside. Soon the stars would be out, and another double-moon night would be upon him. Van loved watching the stars at night; they had always comforted him and reminded him that somewhere up above, his father was looking down over him...keeping him safe. The thought made Van smile. He had hardly known his dad in person, but the memories that others, such as Colonel Krueger and Maria, had shared with Van made him feel like he knew him on the battlefield as well. Everyone always told him he had his father's looks and spirit.
Grinning, Van rolled onto his side, ignoring the pain from his ribs, and looked at the supply kit. He had to get out of there, but with his injuries, he knew that even if he did make it to steady ground, he would be in no condition to make it to a base, let alone to the nearest village. Perhaps if he could use the flare gun when a patrol was out and about, he would be able to attract attention. But with the Genosaurer still in Raven's possession, no patrol team would be able to withstand the zoid's special attack. Van reached for the supply kit, but his fingers ached in protest.
"Come on baby," Van whispered as he reached for the handle of the box. "Come on..."
Van's attempts were interrupted as he heard Shadow descending to the cave's entrance.
Raven climbed out of his Genosaurer and allowed Shadow to pilot him to the cave's entrance. He had a secret zoid hanger built into the side of the cliff in which he stashed the Genosaurer. As Raven's feet stepped out onto the cave's entranceway, Raven looked immediately to where Van lay sleeping. Slowly Raven walked over and leaned over Van's body.
Gently Raven kicked Van's leg.
"I know you're awake, so you might as well open your eyes."
Van didn't budge and Raven sighed.
"So you're going to play it that way, hm?"
Van didn't move and Raven nodded to Shadow. The organoid chuckled as he lifted up a bucket from inside the cave and disappeared from sight. It only took about a minute for the organoid to fill up the bucket with water from the river before arriving back in the cave. As Raven took a step back, Shadow dumped the bucket of water onto Van.
Spluttering and cursing sharply, Van sat up and instantly began shivering.
"What the hell was that for?"
"You wouldn't listen to me," Raven shrugged nonchalantly as he tried not to smirk.
Shadow, on the other hand, was not as shy with his feelings, and openly laughed at Van's misfortune. Van shot the organoid a death glare as Raven tossed him a cape.
"Here, dry yourself off. We need to talk."
Van shakily took the cape and tied it around his shoulders, surprised at the way it gave off Raven's scent.
"W-what about?"
"What you were saying before...about my...happiness."
"What about it?"
Raven took a breath and looked into Van's eyes.
"How can I obtain it?"
There was a brief silence in which Van just stared like a fish at Raven. Van was so confused, what did Raven mean?
"Raven - "
"Look, I know this is a stupid question, and I know you're probably going to mock me, but you don't get it Van! You have everything! Everything I have ever wanted, you have. You have the wonderful lover who is always there for you, you have the home and warm family and supportive friends, you have the perfect zoid, and everyone loves you! You're so happy...it disgusts me. I have never found happiness like yours before, and I want my share. It's not fair! We're the same!"
Raven breathed heavily as he realized his face was only inches away from Van's, and that he was clutching the boy's shirt. Van just stared at him, completely shocked and confused.
Slowly Van opened his mouth a couple times before finally managing, "First off, I don't have the wonderful lover. Fiona is not my lover. She's like a sister to me, but that's all."
"Out of all of that...that is what you got out of it?" Raven couldn't believe his ears...but he also couldn't push aside the relieved feeling at knowing Fiona and Van weren't an item.
"I wasn't finished," Van smirked as he pulled himself up into a complete sitting position, shaking off Raven's grip and leaning against the wall. Once he was fully settled, Van met Raven's gaze.
"Secondly, we are not the same. We're built differently, come from different backgrounds, and even our beliefs in what zoids should be used for differs."
"I knew your father," Raven blurted out after a quiet moment.
"W-what?" Van asked, completely taken off guard.
"He took me in under his wing when Ambient killed my parents. He was going to introduce us, but he was killed by Prozen's soldiers before he could. Prozen found me and took me in after that. I was scared and confused...and a part of me still believes it was my fault your father died. He refused to give me up...it was my fault, Van."
"You're...you're lying," Van stuttered, not being able to believe what his ears were telling him. Raven's story was a lie...it couldn't be true.
"It's true, I swear it! Your dad is dead, and it's all my fault!" Raven shouted, his eyes swelling up with tears.
What happened next was all a blur.
Van swung at Raven and as his fist made contact, Van continued to punch Raven in the face, despite the pain in his wrist and ribs, knocking the boy to the ground. Shadow growled and leapt forward, but Raven shouted, "No Shadow!" and the organoid halted just in time for Van to straddle Raven on the ground.
Van gripped Raven's shirt around the collar and lifted the boy up as far as he could considering he was straddling Raven and shouted, "How dare you talk about my father!"
"He was like a father to me too Van, and it's all my fault!"
"You're lying!"
"AM I?"
There was a deadly silence as Van searched Raven's eyes for the truth...
...And found it there.
Slowly Van let Raven's head fall back against the ground as the two breathed heavily. Van's eyes moved from away from Raven back to the boy and away again, trying to take everything in.
"Why didn't you ever tell me you knew my father? Why didn't any of the others ever tell me the truth?" Van whispered, his voice coming out weak and questionable.
"They probably kept it from you for your own benefit. I wanted to tell you sooner, but the time never seemed right. Van...I'm sorry."
Van clenched his fists in Raven's shirt and tried to keep the tears from spilling over.
"Why? Why did he take you in?"
Van's whole body began to shake. Not knowing what else to do, Raven reached for Van's shoulder and gently gripped it. Van moved to shake it off, but something in Raven's eyes made him pause. Van suddenly felt the oddest feeling. Looking deep into Raven's eyes, he felt like everything was falling into place. The true cause of his father's death, why he had always felt a powerful bond with Raven...
The two boys could have been raised together as brothers.
"Van..." Raven started, but he didn't know what to say.
In all honesty, what were they supposed to say to each other now, after all this time? After all of the battles and the wars, what were two long-lost brothers supposed to say to one another?
"I...I don't blame you for his death...no matter what you said. I blamed Prozen, not you, and I still blame Prozen alone," Van muttered after a few moments, hoping he was making the right decision. Would his dad have forgiven Raven? Yes...yes he would have.
A tremendous burden began to lift off of Raven's shoulders. Hearing Van forgive him felt like the first step towards total forgiveness. Hearing Van forgive him felt like Van's father was forgiving him.
"I was just a little boy, I was scared and alone. I would never have let them kill him if I had known -"
"I know, Raven," Van whispered softly as he brushed a stray strand of hair out of Raven's face without realizing it. "We both know."
"I may be heartless, but at the time I was young and stupid. If I could go back I would have saved him just because he was so kind -"
"Raven, it's okay."
Raven's body reacted in the strangest way. He quickly reached out, wrapped his arms around Van's body, and pulled the boy completely against him, burying his face into Van's shoulder.
Van was shocked. Raven had never before shed a single tear in front of anyone, especially Van, and now the boy was full out crying. It was as if the Raven that was currently holding Van tightly was a completely different man.
'Maybe he's been hurting for so long, and keeping the emotions bottled up for so long, that he's just ready to let it all go,' Van thought as he ran his hand through Raven's hair. Van was surprised at how soft Raven's hair was, and he found that he didn't necessarily mind the close contact. Instead, the hero chose to awkwardly pat Raven on the back as the criminal tightened his eyes to stop himself from crying.
"I should have been a hero like you."
"Nonsense. Raven you have to stop thinking about it like that."
Van pulled back and lifted Raven's chin up to meet his.
"I'm not as much of a hero as they all say I am. And I certainly haven't been doing any work for the Guardian Force that shows I'm the Hero of Planet Zi. At the moment, I'm actually more of a lackey for the GF than a recognized hero."
Raven genuinely smiled, and the sight made something deep inside of Van catch. Raven's whole demeanor seemed to appear lighter, as if he had just received total reconciliation. His eyes even had a shine to them.
And it was in that moment that Van realized just how close he and Raven were, and their current situation.
Van could smell Raven's breath on his lips, and the thought made his pants feel tighter. Instantly Van's inner conscious began to flash warnings in his mind. This situation was too much for the boy to process at the moment, and he needed to get out of it.
Now.
Quickly his eyes shot over to where Shadow had his back turned to the two boys, giving them their privacy. Van shook his head and tried to move away from Raven, but he was prevented from escaping when Raven's grip on him tightened.
Van's eyes betrayed his fear and confusion when he looked into Raven's lustful eyes. Wait...lustful eyes?
Van knew he was in trouble as he tried to move away but was pinned down by Raven. As Raven overpowered Van and pinned the hero's arms above his head, Van managed, "Raven, stop! What are you doing?"
Raven paused in his actions as his mind wheeled. What was he doing? He knew what he was doing felt right, but it felt wrong at the same time...he wanted to do this to Van, but not like this...not in these circumstances.
Raven's eyes instantly showed his guilt as he moved off of Van and walked over to stand up beside Shadow.
'What the hell is going on with him?' Van shouted in his head as he just laid there in shock and confusion, trying to make all of this out.
Raven didn't say anything as Shadow engulfed him, and flew them out of the cave, leaving Van to lay there alone.
"I need to get out of here."
Raven slammed his head against the Genosaurer's leg.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" He shouted to himself.
Shadow sympathized with his master and best friend. Although Shadow knew nothing about romance or what Raven was feeling, he could tell that Raven's heart was conflicted, and that was something Shadow knew a lot about.
The organoid growled softly, taking a step towards Raven.
"Shadow, what am I doing? I thought I had this all thought out, but Van, he just...he makes me feel so confused. Like I think I want one thing one minute, but then after just a few words from him, I want something completely different. I want happiness, yes, I want love, yes, but Shadow, whose love do I want?"
"Well you did jump him back there and nearly make out with him," Shadow thought.
"But where did that come from? I mean, I was pouring my heart out to him about his dad and then I almost make out with him? Shadow...am I going insane?"
"No, Raven...you're just confused. Perhaps we should just let him go and forget about this whole thing until you know what you truly want."
"But I want him," Raven hissed as he leaned against the organoid. "I want his love."
"Why?"
"I don't know! There have just always been these strings pulling us together, and I cannot explain why. I know he feels them too...what should I do, Shadow?"
"I think you should consult a love guru about this."
Raven's body tensed as he slowly turned around and stared at Shadow in shock.
"You're saying I should get love advice...from Stinger?"
Van reached into his pocket and removed the knife from where he had swiped it from Raven's belt during their...episode. Van admired the craft for a quick minute before he reached into the supply case. He took out a couple flares, the flare gun, and a string of bullets, which he pocketed. Van dragged his body over to the edge of the cave and looked out. The sun had risen barely an hour ago, and his body was still sore. However, his wrist had begun to heal thanks to the pills Raven had been feeding him, and his leg only hurt when he pressed down on it. The question now was how would he make it to the ground above?
The cave had been built out about 40 feet below the surface of the cliff, and the face of the cliff was a solid sheet of rock, so there was no hope of Van rock climbing by holding onto the rugged cliff. Looking down, he saw the river, which was about 50 feet below him, rushing by him, taunting him.
"I wish Zeke were here to fly me out," Van muttered as he looked around. Suddenly he had an idea. Quickly heading back to his cot, Van picked up the sheets and fashioned an idea. He began cutting Raven's cape into strips, tying the materials to the sheets on the cot. When Van had secured the materials together, he tied one end around the width of the cot. Dragging the cot to the entranceway of the cave, Van secured the cot between the walls of the cave, so that the cot was lodged between the walls and wouldn't budge.
Van knew that the stunt he was about to do was insane, especially considering his injured state, but he knew he had to try. He wasn't sure what was going on with Raven, but if he didn't get away or at least find help, than Raven might take advantage of him, or worse...
Van tied the other end of the sheets around his waist and leaned over the edge of the cliff. Taking out his knife and gripping it in his left hand, Van dug the knife into the side of the cliff right below the entranceway. Squatting down, Van slid his legs over the side of the cliff while clutching the knife, and slowly leaned forward. He only had one clear shot, and he prayed and hoped that Raven wasn't standing at the top of the cliff waiting for the shot.
Readying the flare gun, Van stretched his arm out as far as he could, and fired two shots into the air. However, he wasn't expecting the powerful rebound of the blast on his injured body, and Van panicked as his body leaned forward too far and he slipped off the side of the cliff.
As Van's body hurtled toward the river, the sheets suddenly pulled on his body, slamming him into the side of the cliff, causing Van to cry out in pain as his bruised ribs hit the cliff.
Blinking past the stars, Van looked up and was happy to see the flares explode into fireworks of different colors.
As Van fainted into unconsciousness, he sent a prayer to his dad that someone would see the fireworks.
