Chapter Two
"Slip my pride to the side,
Tear me open look inside,
Just to see how many times you've really made these eyes cry."
Reality
I dabbed the blood off of my head with shaking hands. It's wasn't real, it couldn't have been. It's just a coincidence. I threw the soiled towel in the hamper and looked myself over in the mirror.No matter how many times I tried to convince myself that my nightmare was brought on by this mysterious cut I couldn't shake the icy feeling that went down my spine every time I remembered it. After I took a shower, got dressed, and asked K-9 if he had any idea how I had managed to cut my head during the night, without any success, I sighed. After that I walked up to the attic, plopped down in the oversized armchair and fiddled with my thumbs lost in thought.
That NEVER happened. It was just a nightmare Sarah, shake it off already! It felt so real though… I shuddered as visions of the Doctor in agony flashed inside my head. And me… oh gosh what had the Trickster done to me? I'm over thinking, that's all. I haven't had nightmares like that since… I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the chair running my fingers through my hair, He left me. A tear escaped my closed eye and I reached up quickly to brush it away before I could let those painful memories come rushing back. I'm exhausted from working on that article so late last night that's why I'm so emotional… Maybe a nap will do me some good. Prove to myself it was a onetime thing. Then I can call Luke when I'm rested.
"K-9?" I called standing up from the chair as he came into the attic. "Yes Mistress."
"I'm going to take a nap, I'm not feeling well. While I'm asleep, stay alert for any alien activity and if anything starts happening wake me up immediately." I told him sternly.
"Affirmative Mistress. Beginning a scan of the area now."
I smiled, "Good dog, K-9", I had the best metal dog in the entire universe, man's best friend indeed. If K-9 couldn't find any trace around the house; later on I would ask Mr. Smith to scan me.
I walked down the hallway to my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I took off my boots and laid down on my back in the middle of the bed staring up at the ceiling. I was afraid to close my eyes. Petrified of what my dreams might have in store. More horrific changes in to past? I sighed and shut my eyes telling myself to calm down as I drifted out of conciseness and into the world of my dreams.
"Oi! What are you doing laying there? Why aren't you wearing any shoes?" a voice said and I felt something poke me in the ribs. My eyes flew open and I was staring into the face of a child. He looked about five and he held a stick in his right hand.
I was lying on a sidewalk someplace I didn't recognize. "How the he-… Where am I?" I sat up on my elbows and looked around. It was sunny and a breeze was whipping my hair around my face. I got up off the pavement and noticed a car parked nearby but…Wait… that's different… I shook my head and turned my attention to the blonde boy, "Hello, I'm Sarah Jane." I said to him and held out my hand.
"I'm Ryan!" he said proudly putting his stick down to shake my hand vigorously.
"It's nice to meet you Ryan." I told him, "Um-Ryan could you tell me where I am?" I asked trying not to sound like a lost moron.
"Aberdeen, I live in that house," He gestured to a white house behind me, "why?" He asked curiously.
"Oh-um I'm just making sure. Thanks!" I gave him a smile but he just nodded and raised his eyebrows, "You came out of nowhere; just like that box."
If I wasn't taking him seriously before I certainly was now, "What box Ryan?"
"That blue police box, of course!" He said taking my hand again and pulling me around the corner of the street. There it was, just like he said. Oh my god…Aberdeen? This is it.
"But you just popped up, the box made a funny sound."
I could feel the color drain from my face as I stared at, what had to be, the TARDIS. It's today; the day I left. I could stop myself from leaving… I could knock on the door and tell myself or the Doctor everything. Maybe everything would change… Just maybe.
NO. I told myself trying to be strong, you can't change the past; it all worked out in time! You have your own life now with Luke. Yes, you were alone and heartbroken for a while but you got through it! But I wanted to save myself from all the pain. All of the tears that I cried in vain to bring Him back. To change our goodbye. To just tell him-
Just then the door opened, and I saw myself step out onto the street. "Don't…" I whispered to myself, and closed my eyes. I didn't need to look to know what was happening.
VWORP-VWORP-VWORP
"That's the sound!" Ryan screamed from my side.
My eyes flew open, "NO!" I'm missing my chance! I need to do this! I ran out into the street and sprinted toward my younger self, "Go back!" I shouted, "Don't let him leave you- Oi!" I was right next to myself and yet I didn't seem to even know I was here. I reached out to tap myself on the shoulder, "Oi! Can't you hear me?" I gasped as my hand went right through my shoulder. "What! No! He can see me you have to be able to too!" I was waving my arms franticly trying to get myself to respond.
I gave up and just stood still, watching hopelessly as my past self turned back around and watched the TARDIS disappear. I look so detached already… "No… NO PLEASE! COME BACK!" I ran toward the spot on the street where the TARDIS had just disappeared. Tears stung in my eyes, I had lost my only opportunity to save myself so much pain. Why? Oh, Sarah, you stupid girl why did you ever walk away? I mentally scolded myself over and over.
"Sarah Jane?" I heard Ryan call to me from the sidewalk, then a reply, "Do I know you?" I turned back around and saw my younger self talking to Ryan.
"NO! Not you, Sarah Jane! Over there."
I stood still watching myself scan the street looking puzzled, "There's no one else here and my name is Sarah Jane."
"But- but she's right there!" Ryan said pointing to me.
"She can't see or hear me Ryan…" I said walking back over to where he and myself stood, "But sadly I can see and hear her…" I couldn't hold it in anymore warm tears escaped my eyes and cascaded down my face.
"Hey, don't cry Sarah Jane." He said looking worriedly up at me.
"I'm not crying and I think you had better go home young man." My younger self told him. You should be crying. I thought as I watched myself walk away whistling. Whistling. What the bloody hell was I so happy about?
"She- she couldn't see you!" Ryan said watching her go around the corner. "No. She couldn't." I told him shakily through the tears, "Why don't you go home now Ryan. I have to leave and-and thanks for everything." He didn't seem to want to budge but I started walking away before he could interject. I was wiping the tears off my face, but I couldn't help it. I didn't need to remember that I walked away… it was too much for me.
"Had enough yet Sarah Jane?" TRICKSTER!
"Where are you?" I shouted to the sky and spun around, "I've had enough of this! Enough of your mind games!"
"I've broken you in the past and now I'll be coming for you in the present, when all the pieces fall together your life will fall apart." I heard him chuckle darkly.
"What are you talking about!"
"All of your fear and pain from the past will weaken you on the inside until you're nothing. Until you have nothing to keep you there… Then it will all be over. Soon."
"No! I'm stronger now! I've moved on! I-"
SLAM
I was no longer looking at an empty street but far off planets, UNIT, the TARDIS console room, the Doctor's regenerations. Then what I had seen today; myself left behind to start over.
Little did I know it would take years to repair the broken pieces of my smashed heart when I learned He wasn't coming back for me.
"Mistress! A parallel time vortex has been open."
I gasped and my eyes shot open; heart thudding in my chest. I was looking up at my bedroom ceiling where I was still laying on my back. I jumped up and threw the door open, "What's the source K-9?"
"Locating, Mistress." I sprinted to the attic and shouted as I opened the door, "Mr. Smith I need you!"
A gust of air and Mr. Smith opened and said, "Sarah Jane I have located a parallel timeline."
"Is it my timeline by any chance?" I said sarcastically.
"Every link of the timeline is a point in your life. A memory or dream. It is changing the past through your memories, Sarah Jane.", Mr. Smith stopped and I felt my heart sink.
"Those aren't memories and dreams, Mr. Smith. They're nightmares."
"Mistress, the time vortex source has been located in your mind." K-9 said coming into the attic.
"I have already informed Sarah Jane of that, K-9"
"Oh stop it you two!" I sighed and messaged my temples, "Mr. Smith can you destroy or isolate this parallel time?"
"Insufficient power." I should have known. "Sarah Jane you should know that when you fall asleep the vortex will grow due to lack of distractions."
"I guessed that", I said dryly, "But what am I supposed to do? You can't close it and I have to sleep… Mr. Smith, see if you can locate the Trickster he has to be around, watching…" I shuddered.
"Searching, Sarah Jane I'll alert you once I have the results. You should also know that the time vortex could distort your memories in time." I nodded solemnly and decided to have a cup of tea then call Luke at school to calm me down so I could think straight.
I stood near the kitchen window sipping my tea. It was one o'clock and I already felt drained. I have to stop myself from having nightmares. I have to find out how the Trickster plans to use a parallel timeline to destroy me here. Yes, I'll be bloody exhausted with lack of sleep because of these nightmares, but I'm not seeing how that's going to allow him to-
OH- I am SO thick!
He isn't going to defeat me here… every time I fall asleep I get crossed over into that parallel world and he decides who can see and hear me and what I see and hear. He is going to trap me inside a changed timeline! He controls when I wake up! He's going to make me live in a false reality stuck between now and then and who knows where else… a parallel timeline. OH STUPID, STUPID!
"I have to stay awake…" I'm stuck in a terrifying reality now; until I can find some way to destroy that timeline. Sleep had always been a comfort to me all these years. I could dream; Dream of traveling again, with my Doctor and it would get me through the tough times but now… "Doctor…" I whispered, "I need you." And for just a second, I could have sworn I saw Him in front of my eyes when I blinked. Realizing my own mind was playing tricks on me now only made more tears slide down my checks as the memories of my nightmares came flooding back at full force.
"Mistress!" K-9 called to me rolling into the kitchen.
"Not now K-9!" I said wiping tears from my eyes and walking past him into the living room to call Luke.
"But Mistress, escalation of temporal flux… Mistress, Temporal flux is fading…"
"Running round my head
What did I do wrong?
Tell me it's my fault
You didn't lead me on, well that's good to know"
A/N: And this is what happens when I'm stuck in the house with music on repeat. Sometimes I wonder if I'm getting better or worse… At least I'm getting somewhere! Also, I know K-9 went to Oxford with Luke but I just thought he might have come to stay with Sarah Jane for a while…
Well, hope you liked it! Thanks for reading!
Let me know what you think?
Lyrics: Fall by He Is We
~L
