Hi, again! Not much to say, just enjoy this sappy and cliche chapter!
And, again- Merry Christmas, everyone!
Chapter two
Renee grabs the windowsill and throws a huge grin over her shoulder at me and Rosalie. "He's here, girls!" She claps her hands together and flies out of the kitchen.
As I take a quick, last sip from my coffee I see Rose freeze for a second.
"Relax, Rose." I chuckle and grab her hand. We roll out of the kitchen and into the hall where my brother drops his luggage and lifts both of us up. I hear our mother sob by the door with her hand over her mouth to quiet them.
I wrap my arms around Emmett's neck as he presses his cheek into the crook of my neck. I feel his tears soak through my thin sweater. A sob breaks over my lips and Emmett pulls me closer.
"Shh, shh…" He keeps chanting as he gently puts me and Rose to the ground. I pull away to let them greet each other properly.
It's been a year since the last time we saw him.
Emmett kisses Rose's forehead and pulls away.
He takes off his cap and throws it on the stand by the door. I grab one of his bags while Dad takes the other one and Mom throws herself into her sons arms again. With burning eyes, I carry it upstairs to his old room. Dad and I throw the luggage on his bed before rushing back down the stairs.
"I baked chocolate chip cookies, Em!" Mom giggles, ushering Rose to the kitchen. Emmett waves them off and leans against the rails of the stairs. Dad passes him with a pat on the shoulder and they smile to each other before he follows Mom and Rose into the kitchen.
"You've grown so darn much." Emmett puffs, grabbing me by the waist as I stand on the last step of the stairs. Even if I would be standing on the third step, I wouldn't be half as tall as him.
I bump my head against his shoulder and he softly pushes me back up by my shoulders. I look at him then. Really look at him.
And he's there. He's in front of me. Alive. Healthy. Breathing.
"Oh," Emmett flashes his thumb over my cheekbone to wipe away my tear. "For fuck's sake, stop crying."
An abrupt giggle escapes me. "I just missed you." I murmur and tuck my hands deeper into the sleeves of my dark red sweater. Emmett grabs the strings of the hood and pulls on them. "You dork!" I complain and aim for the top of his head, but get his cheek.
"Ouch!"
"Ooh, crap! Sorry, I didn't mean it." I cry out. "I'm sorry."
Emmett pushes my shoulder and I stumble to the side, grabbing a hold of the stair rails while he hurries off to the kitchen. I follow the booming laughter.
We enter the kitchen and help Mom carry the food to the dining room. While we set the table, Emmett and Rose go upstairs to unpack him for the couple days he's staying. I don't even want to know what else they're doing.
"It's nice to see Rosalie and Emmett so happy," Mom murmurs, setting a plate on the table. I look up from where I'm standing, thinking about from where the turkey would look the best.
"Yeah, we all know how Rose usually is."
Mom straightens out. "She's fine with it now, right? Emmett leaving so often, I mean."
"I don't know," I shrug. "She seems fine."
"It's sad." Mom suddenly says as I head out of the dining room to call Em and Rose down. I frown at my mother's nervous face. Her fingers are gripping the edge of the chair in front of her very tightly. "It's very quiet without you all here. I wish I could turn the time back and relive it all… you know?"
Her brown eyes flick down and she takes a deep breath. This is probably the deepest that my mother has ever said to me, as she is always so occupied with the latest gossip of Forks. It's very overwhelming, because it always feels like there's something off about her.
Awkward, I cross my arms over my chest and bite my lower lip. "Sure, Mom." I mumble. She's nervous again as she looks up and gives me a small smile. I head out in the hallway and enter the living room where Dad is sitting, watching a game. I grab the nearest pillow on the comforter by the fireplace and throw it at the back of his head.
"Wha- hey! Bella! I'm watching the game."
"Dinner's ready." I narrow my eyes at him. Dad flashes me a grin and throws the pillow back at me. It lands just by the comforter after I step out of the way.
"Rose, Em!" I shout from down the stairs. "Stop sucking, get down here!"
"Bella!" Mom gives me a strained look from the kitchen, I shrug, suddenly my hair is all over my face.
"Emmett, you're an ass."
He grins at me and leads Rosalie to the dining room, Dad passes too and behind me follows mom. We sit down at the table and have a meal just like the ol' days when Em and I were still around.
And Mom and Dad talked more.
"I am very interested, pardon me." Emmett starts as soon as he ends the previous question. Rosalie gives me a teasing look from beside him and pops a broccoli in her mouth. "But, why hasn't Bella brought a guy home? I mean – it's Christmas eve!"
"Oh-ugh…" I drop my fork and knife. Dad nods in approval of Em's question and Mom's jaw hang open.
"Emmett, honey! Nice point! I haven't seen you with a boy since you broke up with Mike!"
Emmett turns to quirk up his eyebrow at me. "Dude, you broke up with Mike?" He chokes out.
"No way!"
"Please, don't-" I raise my hand up in defense. Rosalie giggles and high fives my Dad.
"But he was the one!"
"Obviously he wasn't, so..." I shrug and stab my turkey. Memories of the night of my graduation come back to me and I eye Rosalie.
I can't hear Emmett's rambling, Mom's giggles or Dad's chuckles. It's Rosalie's jingly laughter I hear.
Thousand things run through my mind. The possibility of her sleeping with Edward, him loving her, her loving Emmett, Emmett loving her…
I didn't know her that much at all. No better than Emmett.
I'm quiet the rest of the dinner and afterwards help my Mom clean up while Emmett and Rosalie disappear upstairs. Dad goes back to watching the game.
I put the stash of dirty plates next to the sink.
"Could you take out the trash?" Mom asks, pointing over her shoulder.
"Sure…"
I grab the black trash bag and start to drag it out of the kitchen when Mom stops me again.
"Bella!"
"Huh?"
"What's… with you? You seemed off after dinner." She turns off the sink and blows her hair out of her face.
"Oh, I'm okay."
"Was it the boy talk? If that, then I'm so sorry, hon-"
I raise my hand up in defense and smile at her. "Mom, relax. It's fine." I chuckle and grab the trash bag again.
"Alrighty, then." Mom huffs under her breath.
I kick the front door open and the exact moment I do – I wish I hadn't.
The silver Volvo is parked by my aunt's house on the sidewalk, and on the porch is no one else other than Edward Cullen saying his goodbye's to Aunt Sarah.
The door behind me shut and with heavy, slow steps, I walk down my porch and over the lawn.
As I'm opening the trash can, Aunt Sarah decides to greet me over the whole fucking neighborhood. Needless to say that I want to fucking stab her.
"Bella, honey!" She's jumping and waving her arm in the air. Awkwardly, I put my hand up and wave back. Edward's back is still turned towards me, I see him shove his hands in his dress pant pockets.
"Aunt Sarah…" I call back with my voice all tired and groggy. "So great to… see you."
And then he decides to turn around.
And it's like I'm struck with lightning.
His eyes seem greener, his skin seems paler and the stubble along the line of his jaw is just… to fucking die for.
Nostalgia washes over me when he sends a dizzy, dazzling smile to me.
Aunt Sarah steps out of the doorway of her house, closing the door behind. She slightly shivers, but doesn't arch into any weird poses like a true lady that she is and just sends me a bigger smile.
"Darling, tell me now... Was that boy Emmett that entered the house earlier, or was I seeing a ghost?"
Fucking bitch. My hands slightly shake from the want of stabbing her in the fucking throat. Ha-ha. Ghost. So fucking funny, I'm dying.
"Nah, it was just Em."
"That's such a relief! I thought he got shot or bombed or something…" Aunt Sarah let out her hoarse laugh and then turned to Edward, who was slowly walking down the steps of his porch. "I'll see you later then, kid. Don't forget to ring my baby when you get home! She can get so worried…"
"Sure," I heard Edward say and smile as he reached his car. "I'll see you around then. Goodbye!"
And that sounded more like along the lines of 'Never ever am I dining with you crazy people again'. I bite my lip to hold back a snort as I drop the bag into the can.
Stanley's front door slam shut. The heels of Edward's dress shoes click against the solid asphalt as he crosses the road, the snow cracking underneath. I adjust the cover on the can and with a heavy sigh, look up.
"Did you enjoy the mashed potatoes? They're heaven." I purse my lips together, to hide my smile. Edward narrows his eyes at me in suspicion.
"Ha-ha."
"Admit it, they were horrible." I teasingly slap his shoulder. He gives me a small smile.
"They were just fine."
I quirk up an eyebrow.
"Okay, they were horrible…" Edward brings his fist in front of his mouth to muffle down his chuckles. An awkward silence set in…
"So," Edward clears his throat. "Haven't seen you since what?"
"Graduation."
"Graduation, huh? That's a long time ago."
"A year and a half, if we're specific." I bite the lower of my lip. Edward scratches the back of his head.
I look back up and open my mouth to say something, but I see Jessica's curtains move and catch her glaring at us.
"Your girlfriend is-" Edward snaps around, startled. "She's peeping." I murmur and step away, realizing just how close we were standing. Edward turns back to me, but I'm already crossing the lawn.
"I should go."
"Yeah…"
"Would you…?"
We both freeze.
The cold breeze hits me and I feel alive. More alive than I've ever been.
I wait.
Edward slouches and sighs in frustration through his nose.
"Would you want to meet up? I know we're not really friends or anything, but-"
"Sure." I cut him off. "When and where? I'll be there."
Edward seems surprised and grins at me. "I was thinking… tonight? The Grill?"
Tonight. The grill. With Edward. Alone.
"Sounds great! I'll meet you in, like, an hour?"
"Deal. My treat."
I reach the porch steps, smiling to myself while Edward gets inside his Volvo and drives off.
Suddenly, it feels like high school all over again.
"I didn't know you guys were friends…"
"Oh! Christ!" I snap around, holding my hand to my chest. Rosalie is in the doorway, holding two cups of hot chocolate with a confused look on her face. Her ice blue eyes are glued to the spot where she last saw Edward Cullen's car go.
She offers me the cup and I take it. "Oh, no… we're not."
"Mind if I tag along?"
I enter the house and she closes the door behind me.
"Why would you want to tag along?"
"I don't know, the thought of reuniting seems nice." She shrugs and heads towards the living room, sipping on her drink. I grab her elbow and yank her back to me.
"It seems pretty fucking suspicious to me." I murmur. "That is – if my opinion even matters."
"Bella," Rosalie glares at me. "Stop it, you're acting crazy!"
I let go of her arm and she waltzes back into the living room. I realize I'm gripping the cup so hard, my hands are burning from the heat. With a hiss, I set it down on the stand by the door and run up the stairs.
I remove my jeans, my sweater and socks. I pull on my black pantyhose and my white folk print dress that reaches just above my knees. Somewhere at the deepest parts of my closet should be my black ankle boots. I manage to find them too, as well as one of my favorite winter coats. I brush my teeth and apply some foundation, mascara and lipstick. My hair is a mess, so I re-adjust it into a pony tale even though I could easily brush it ands let it free, but I'm too self-conscious.
I run down the stairs and grab my car keys. A loud "Are you going somewhere?" comes from the kitchen.
"Bella!" Mom puts down the gingerbread cookie she was about to have. Rosalie smiles over her head at me mischievously.
"Oh, I'm just going out."
"With whom?"
"Oh, no one…" I wave Mom off, when I hear Rosalie giggle.
The next is Emmett's loud gasp. "No way! Cullen? You go, sister!"
"It's not like that." I say through gritted teeth and make sure the door slam behind me.
A few minutes later, I'm pulling into the parking lot in the back of the grill.
The Grill is almost empty, a couple of old men drinking beer at a table and playing cards. I give them a nice look when they greet me and jump on one of the bar stools, the bartender – Josh, one of the graduates of Forks high that accidentally made his girl a bun in the oven, greets me. He used to hang around the house a lot, since he and Em were in the same gang, one of the nicest people I've known.
"Hey, Bella." He smiles at me softly. "Can I get you something?"
"If this would be in normal conditions, I'd ask a glass of sparkling water, but…" I sigh. "Since we know each other so well and I'm almost twenty one, I know you will allow me the joy of Heinekens."
Josh chuckles, I give him the money and he opens up a beer for me.
"Oh, nice," A voice from behind me says and I grin. Edward sits down next to me. "We're having beer?"
Josh quirks up an eyebrow at me and I raise up two fingers. He does the same for Edward what he did to me.
"So," Edward starts when Josh is out of hearing-range. "I see that the folk hasn't left the Bella I know."
"The Bella you know hasn't left either." I take a pull of my beer.
"You look nice."
"Thanks, you too."
"How's Florida?"
"Sunny. How's Chicago?"
Edward laughs through his nose, takes a pull and eyes me. "Windy."
"Yeah, people talk like that."
A laugh.
"Be." I hum, downing the bitter liquid in my mouth. "I never thought it could be Jessica."
Edward clears his throat and slouches a bit. His elbows are on the counter and he blinks a few times. Only now I realize how awfully tired he looks.
"Who did you think she was?"
"I don't know…" I look down at my lap after I set the bottle down in front of me. I wish it would've been me…
"Yes you do."
I look up to see Edward's face. "Rosalie?" I mumble.
"R-Rosalie?" He chokes out. "Your Rosalie?"
"Hale."
"Jazz's sister?! No…" Edward shakes his head a little and takes a pull. "Wow, never. Why would you think like that?"
"You said I know her better than everyone else, you said she was pretty and-"
"I said a lot of things." Edward cuts me off. His jaw tightens and he licks his lips. "And it's not Jessica either, so…"
"Oh, Christ." I groan quietly. "Who is it then?! Tell me!"
Edward gives me a side look while he orders another beer. Josh gives us a strange look and sets down another round of beers in front of us. "Why do you care?"
"I'm curious!"
"Nahh, that's not it." Edward scrunches up his nose. "Jealous, maybe?"
Wow, what a fucking Einstein!
"No." I lie. Another pull.
"Liar."
"No." Again, I lie.
"You shouldn't be, anyways."
"Shouldn't be what?"
"Jealous."
"Why?"
Edward doesn't respond. He empties his first bottle of beer, grabs our second rounds and heads off to the pool table. Dazzled, I follow him. Josh gives me a compassionate glance.
"Edward?" I ask as he grabs one of the cue's and sets the beer bottles on the edge of the pool table.
"M?"
"Did you and Rose… you know… have sex back in high school?"
Edward looks over his shoulder at me and gives me a crooked smile. "We messed around."
"Messed around like…" I come by his side after he adjusts the balls and sets the white one in front of him. "Like you and I did, or…?"
Edward hits the white ball, making two balls fly into the holes. Both are striped.
The next thing I know, he's tilting my chin up with his forefinger. I'm dazzled and can't say a single word once again.
"Don't be jealous."
I huff and almost turn my face away, but he grips it between his thumb and index finger. "Look at me." He forces me. I look at him.
"Don't do that, you know I hate it when you turn the cold shoulder."
"You answered my question."
"No, I didn't."
"I know the answer, anyways."
Edward lets go of my chin and sighs.
"You don't know anything."
"I know enough."
"Yes, we fucked. We fucked and it didn't mean a single fucking thing."
My lower lip trembled and suddenly, I felt disgusted to the bone. My eyes burned, the lump in my throat was choking me. Carefully, I put my cue back in place while Edward was aiming in front of me.
God, this grill is so fucking rancid.
Without a single word, I grab my purse and leave. My hands nervously fidget as I look for my Audi keys. Eventually, half of my shit falls on the ground and I bend to pick them up.
"Bella, what the-" Some rustling and Edward's pale hands are helping me on the sidewalk. I grab my MAC lipstick and my car keys from his hand before straightening out.
"Why'd you leave?"
I back away. "I don't think we can be friends, Edward…"
"Why?"
"We just… can't." I breathe out, staring down at my hands. He crosses the distance between us.
"Look at me when you say it."
"Edward-"
"Bella."
I take a deep breath and look at him. His expression couldn't be more indifferent than it is right now. I want to slap him across the face. Hard.
"Maybe I don't want to be your friend."
"What do you want to be, then?"
The question catches me off guard. I was counting on him not saying anything at all, just walking off with a smug smirk like the fucking asshole he truly was. But there was something weighing him here… something that couldn't let him go.
I slouch just a little and look to the side. "Forget it." I whisper and turn around. His fingers wrap around my wrist, but I yank it out of his hold and keep walking to my Audi. He doesn't stop me.
I get in.
Edward's no where in sight.
I drive off.
He isn't following.
Resentment and hate fills every cell of my poor body. The house is dark when I park my Audi in the driveway. Quietly, I sneak inside, bringing my keys with me. I remove my boots and slowly go up the stairs. Luckily, I still remember which steps creak and which steps don't from when I was still in high school and used to sneak in and out of the house every now and then.
"How was the date?"
Shit.
"It was shit." I smile at Rosalie over my shoulder in pure fucking sarcasm. She steps forward, to follow me inside my room, but I stop her.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
"I'm your best friend, Bella. You need to stop throwing shit from the past at me."
I grit my teeth. "Listen, bestie. You lied to me. You fucked Edward behind Em's back in high school. Don't you think that's called cheating?"
"Bella, let me explain-"
"Save it."
I close the door in her face.
I strip down into my lingerie and head to the shower. The hot water makes me relax and I'm not as uptight as I was ten minutes ago.
Even though I'd gladly slap the shit out of Rose any time.
Carefully, I step out of the shower and let the cold air hit me. I wrap a towel around myself and do some facials before changing into my lingerie and throw my favorite robe on. It's satin and midnight blue.
Edward loves blue on me.
I turn off the light and enter my bedroom again. It's the same way I left it a few minutes ago and it feels a little disappointing. I don't know why. Maybe I was waiting for Edward to climb up that tree by my window and break in, just to tell me how much he craved and missed me.
I decide to go down the memory lane.
I walk up to my stereo and put The Smiths album to the lowest. My old desk looks very promising. I sit down on the old wooden chair and run my fingertips over the white desk top. As far as I know, it's very old, but that's what makes it special.
The two drawers contain of many unnecessary sheets. Half of it is my doodles and notes and chats with Rose. The topics mainly were – music, boys, the latest movies and fashion trends, even if I weren't that much into it.
It seemed like instead of one year – ten years had passed. All of it seemed so old to me now…
Then, I find the old little music box that my Grandma had given me for my seventh birthday. It played the tune of Claire De Lune and inside of it were little, unnecessary things, like hair ribbons, friendship bracelets e.t.c.
It's weird, how stupid it seems now and how much it mattered to me a few years ago. There's a small picture of Rosalie and Emmett under all of the ribbons, and a picture of Mike…
And then there's that cork.
The cork of Edward's beer bottle I had taken that night… I had completely forgotten about it.
I flip the cork between my fingers, it reads "Heineken". Funny, how we were drinking it just this night again. Carefully, I tuck it back underneath the photos, the ribbons and all of the tiny crap I had in the box.
I shut the drawer and take the box with me, putting it on my nightstand, so I wouldn't forget to pack it to Florida when I go back.
Then, I go to my bookshelf, taking my copy of Romeo And Juliet. I open it, and there it is… The red rose that Mike gave on our first date when we were twelve. It had to be the cutest thing ever. I smile to myself.
But things have changed. Mike is out of my life for long, I and Rosalie aren't so close either, Emmett too.
I'm alone.
And as I lay down in my bed for a nice rest for the night, I realize I'm completely fine by being alone. Maybe, because at heart, I've always been alone…
