Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Degrassi

Chapter 1

Here I was with these feelings. I didn't want to have them. They're driving me crazy and I don't know how to stop. I see you standing in front of me, smiling. I smile back but I don't want to. I look down to the ground but I'm still thinking of you smiling at me. I breathe in and I breathe out. 'What should I do?' I ask myself. I look back at you and say "I'm ok, how have you been?" why did I make such a big deal about you asking how I was. I'm reading into things a bit too much. These thoughts are running circles in my head and it's giving me a constant headache. I feel uncomfortable being in your presence. I can't even admit to myself, let alone you, how I feel. Sweat starts to drip on my body and I start to stutter. I stop and bite my lip. You speak and I nod to show that I'm listening but all I can do is watch your lips. I look away and take a deep breath. I refocus my mind and listen to what you are saying.

The conversation ends and I replay, in my head, everything I should have said but didn't. The part when I tell you how much you make me laugh or how I think about you constantly, when you look at me I think you're staring into my soul.

I always seem to stop myself short from admitting the truth, to you and myself.

I can't believe how much I look forward to school and work, just because she's there. At first we would have these verbal fights, constantly in the halls. We were both so completely different. She is the captain of the Spirit Squad and the Queen of Degrassi and I was the rebel from the wrong side of the tracks. More and more I would enjoy it and look forward to it because I knew I would always have to think on my feet. She challenged me in more ways then anyone else. Lately, I would find myself doing things that I wouldn't normally do, constantly smiling, speaking in a squeaky voice. I mean who does that, who speaks in a squeaky voice, especially someone with my reputation.

At first work was a challenge, but we became friends. It was all a weird turn of events for me. I ran for school president and didn't out Marco to the whole school. I then became vice president and helped Paige get her job back. I was slowly mixing with people that I wouldn't have when I was dating Jay, but here I was, being friendly with a cheerleader and the gay president. Things were totally different now, as I actually like Paige and Marco, two people I use to argue with the most (if you don't include Emma, but there's no way in hell I'll change my mind about her).