A/N: I feel so bad, because I have so many WIPs in the HP and NCIS realms, which have all been abandoned in wake of my new Twilight obsession. I actually have one multi-realm reader who reviewed Innocent Killer (after not having updated any of my fics for months because of my heavy workload at university) and said "Glad to see you're still alive." I feel so bad! This is why all my WIPs in Twilight aren't getting uploaded until they're just about done. So I'm not stuck in this situation again.

Anyway, so I had another reader who asked if I would do any more for this story, and of course, that got my creative juices flowing… So here's Emmett on the day Alice turned into a mass murderer.

These are just a series of one-shots, but since they all fall under the same storyline, they'll get uploaded as chapters in Innocent Killer. I'm also working on Pain and Pride, the sequel to this story.

*~*~*~*~*~oOo~*~*~*~*~*

It must've been the hardest day I'd ever suffered through. But not nearly as hard for me, I have to say, as it must've been for Alice.

For me, it all started at 6 AM, when Jasper (rather rudely, I might add) interrupted Rose and me in the middle of some very important business. He'd been snarly and growly and basically a bad-ass brother ever since we'd arrived in Great Falls, only to be told to pretty much ignore our wives outside the house.

Of course, it probably didn't help our cause any when Alice and I kept getting thrown in detention for acting up. It gave us sympathy points with Esme, who of course had to field all those phone calls from the 'concerned faculty'. It gave us no brownie points with Carlisle.

So, anyway, so Jasper was yelling at Rosalie to get her ass moving, because they have some history project that they had to meet their other partners for at 7. Needless to say, she wasn't about to listen to him, because I'm a far more interesting person to be around, and besides, we were in a pretty awkward position. So she was yelling back at him that he already knows more about the Civil War than the rest of the damn world, leave her alone.

I could hear Alice busy trying to smooth over Jasper's ruffled feathers even from down the hall. Since we hadn't fed in weeks, everybody was a little crankier than usual, and Jasper cranky is not something we like enduring. It's amazing the things Alice can get that moody ex-soldier to do for her. There was no way in heaven or hell that Edward or I would ever agree to half of Alice's crazy schemes.

Edward, speak of the devil, was busy composing in the basement. The poor kid had to live with us for all these past months, I didn't blame him for going to the one place in the house where you can't physically hear anybody and then try drown us out mentally with his music.

Carlisle and Esme were in some sort of super-secret powwow all night, judging from the low, constant voices coming from their room. It's never a good thing when Carlisle and Esme hold their secret little meetings. Last time they did that, Jasper and I had ended up with the short end of the stick in the living arrangements.

"Emmett," Rosalie said, nibbling at my lower lip as I got momentarily distracted by listening to Carlisle and Esme. "Emmett, if you don't pay attention, I'm going to leave, get dressed and go work on school projects with cranky ex-Confederate majors."

"Hmm?" I asked, returning my attention to my lovely wife. "Oh, no, don't do that."

"Rosalie!" Jasper roared.

I heard Alice exclaim, "Jasper!", in a rebuking voice.

Rosalie sighed reluctantly and sat up. "I guess I'd better go before he starts tearing down walls."

"All right, fine," I grumbled, watching as she unfolded herself from my body and crossed our room to our closet – well, her closet, really. I had about one foot of hanging space and two drawers. "I like the green one," I spoke up, as Rosalie studied a green dress in one hand and a black sweater in the other.

"Oh, do you?" Rosalie asked with a smile.

"Mmm-hmm," I replied, nodding sagely. "Gives me plenty of fantasy fodder for the day. I can lust at you from afar with that dress on."

"It's a shame you won't get to see me in it, then," Rosalie laughed, hanging the sweater back up and digging out various other articles of clothing.

"What?" I asked.

"Jasper and I are gone all day," she told me with another laugh. "Juniors' trip to the career symposium, remember?"

"Oh, great," I grumbled, already imagining the temper tantrum Jasper was going to throw when he remembered that.

"Just promise to keep an eye on Alice, would you? He's going to annoy me all day, otherwise," Rosalie sighed, pulling on her lingerie set – a favourite of mine. When she caught me eyeing her appreciatively, she smiled. "I'll make it up to you tonight, Em, I promise."

She quickly finished dressing, brushing out her hair and applying just a touch of make-up. "Come on, let's go do this thing…"

"Guys?" Carlisle called. "Can I see everybody in the dining room?"

"Great, now what?" Rosalie muttered, as I grabbed her and made as if to carry her downstairs over my shoulder. "Emmett Cullen, don't you dare –" She glowered at me as I set her down again.

"C'mon, baby, don't go away mad..." I begged, following closely behind her. "Let's just hope they haven't tightened the restrictions to inside the house, too."

"Oh, don't even put the thought in his mind…" Rosalie muttered darkly.

We passed Jasper and Alice in their room. Alice had him cornered, her arms crossed stubbornly, her eyes wide and her lip jutting out ever so slightly. Classic Alice-wants-her-way look. Jasper was powerless against it.

"Behave," I heard her say pleadingly. "Make it until 4 PM, and then you have three whole days…"

"Alice, what's going on?" I asked, pausing at her door.

"I'm still waiting!" Carlisle called, a little irritably.

"Esme's talked Carlisle in letting all of us have some uninterrupted alone time this weekend," Alice said, turning around even as she reached for Jasper's hand to pull him along. "Tonight through until Monday morning. They're calling it a hunt, but we're on our own for it." Her eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Ah, so that's what the powwow was all about last night," I said, grinning when Rosalie barely stifled the squeal of delight and kissed my cheek.

"No detention today," she said threateningly. "Hold your tongue no matter how stupid the other guy is. I don't want anything delaying this weekend."

"As you wish, milady," I said with a mock English accent, bowing. "I will be the most perfect husband you have ever had."

Rosalie laughed. "Em, you are the only husband I have ever had, and the only one I ever will have," she murmured into my ear.

"Love you, baby," I said with another grin, wrapping an arm around her waist as she pinned me lightly against the hallway wall. Jasper and Alice had slipped past us to head downstairs.

"Love you, Emmett," she returned. She slid her leg between mine, arching her back just enough to brush her hips across mine. I ducked my head down to kiss the tempting cleavage she'd left exposed. She'd cover up again before she and Jasper left, but for right now, I'd take what I could get.

Rosalie let out a gasp as I carefully moved the neckline of her dress aside to expose more skin. "Emmett, not now…" she murmured. "Later. This afternoon…" Her protests trailed off as I kissed her sensitive nipple, eliciting a groan of pleasure. Her hands went for my belt buckle, fumbling to undo it. "Emmett…" She unzipped my jeans, sliding her soft and able hands into my briefs to take me into them.

Now it was my turn to groan, as she began massaging, my lips ravaging her neck hungrily. Desperately, I reached for the hem of the dress, and Rosalie understood my intentions perfectly as she slid –

"ROSALIE and EMMETT! I KNOW you're UP there, get DOWN here NOW!"

Groaning, Rosalie stopped, reluctantly pulling away and rearranging her dress uncomfortably. "He's cranky."

"He's cranky," I agreed, gingerly repacking everything into my jeans. "And obviously as frustrated as I am. Esme's probably withheld from him until we're all actually gone tonight."

"Poor boy…" Rosalie crooned. "We'll take care of that before I leave."

We joined the rest of the family in the dining room, sliding into the last available seats. Unfortunately, those seats weren't side-by-side. "What is it, Carlisle?" I asked, wincing as my jeans fought desperately with my arousal, and fervently wishing that I was Edward right now, because it was him caught between Rosalie and I in our love-lust-battle. Poor kid.

If I was Edward, I knew exactly what I'd be doing. I'd be slowly easing my hand over Rose's thigh, working my way up towards where I knew her centre would be wet and waiting… She would hit my arm with her hand the second I got there, her face not showing any of the shock at my brazen attempts to publicly pleasure her. But she wouldn't be able to keep it hidden for long.

Alice started giggling uncontrollably as Edward whirled around to glare at me. "Emmett!" he snapped.

It clicked just a fraction of a second too late for me. I'd been thinking about what I'd be doing if I was Edward. And I'd meant every second of it. Which meant that Alice had seen Edward, not me, doing all of those sensual ministrations. And he'd seen the images in Alice's mind.

"Do you mind?!" Edward continued snappishly.

"Not at all," I replied with a grin.

Alice was still laughing hysterically – I watched Jasper's face become a little concerned at her drama.

"Can we get back to the topic at hand?" Carlisle demanded.

*~*~*

"Behave," Rosalie and Alice said, almost in unison as we all entered the garage.

"You hear me?" Rosalie murmured into my ear as Jasper headed for his car, Alice tailing him stubbornly. "No fights, no mouthing off… If you call me at 2, and tell me you've gotten detention, I will be hunting with Edward all weekend."

Alice nearly cracked up again, managing to stifle the laughter into Jasper's jacket.

"And are you going to tell me what was so funny?" Rosalie demanded, turning around. Alice shook her head mutely. "Ugh. Fine. Let's go, Jasper, we're already late."

As they were getting into the car, Rosalie paused. "All right, fine, Alice, you can take the M3. But don't let Emmett anywhere near the driver's seat."

Alice was still giggling as our respective spouses left.

*~*~*

Our somewhat lightened moods ended almost as soon as Alice pulled into the parking spot at school. Still feeling slightly emasculated at having my kid sister drive me (even though I wasn't allowed to drive anybody's car other than my own), I jumped out without opening the door, just as Alice was saying, "I wouldn't –"

There was a groan of metal crumpling. I looked down, wincing as I saw the dent I'd caused. The paint had cracked along the dent. "Oh, no." There was no way Rosalie wasn't going to notice that.

"I warned you," Alice said with a sigh.

"Great…" I muttered. "Great… Come on, let's go."

*~*~*

I could almost hear Rosalie's voice screeching in my head as I stopped myself. "So help me, Emmett, if you rip that kid's head off…"

Growling under my breath, I got a hold on my instincts and tightened my grip on my schoolbag as I made my way through the crowds of students to reach Alice.

Obviously the stupid kid couldn't read body language. For every inch he took forward, she took two back. She wasn't looking at him, clearly wasn't listening to him, and she had her books held against her front protectively with one arm, the other typing something on her phone. Probably a text from Jasper – he was bad for that, texting her in the middle of the day.

"… And I was sort of thinking, that, you know, maybe we ought to go out tonight, get to know each other…"

"Allie, is this yahoo bothering you?" I asked as I came up beside her, fixing my deadliest death-glare on the poor, unsuspecting human boy.

"Oh, hi, Emmett!" she said cheerfully, and I caught a glimpse of some meaningless drivel that screamed 'Jasper!' on her phone's screen as she closed it.

"I was just seeing if Alice would like to go out for dinner tonight," the boy replied defiantly – I had to admire the kid's guts, I had to be three times his size.

"And I'm pretty sure she told you no last week."

"What can I say, I'm pleasantly persistent," the boy shrugged.

"No, you're harassing her. Scram before I knock your teeth out." And be glad it's me and not Jasper, because he would've knocked your teeth out long ago. It worked, though, because the boy took off at a stumbling run and Alice turned to me gratefully.

"Thanks, Emmett."

"You really need to learn how to tell people where to shove it," I told her, watching her play with the chain around her neck, the wedding ring hidden beneath the neckline of her shirt. Unlike Rosalie, Alice had always kept her wedding ring perfect and whole, usually wearing it on the chain with Jasper's band when our story didn't allow for them to wear it on their fingers. Her story to anybody who asked was typically that they were her dead parents' rings, passed down from her grandparents. It never hurt that the rings were slightly age-worn – 52 years, in fact. "Rosalie could give you lessons."

"But why should I do it, when I have all of you around, ferociously guarding my virtue?" Alice asked with a smile, widening her eyes innocently. "And Rosalie wants another one, by the way. She's just decided it now."

"I figured she did," I grumbled. "It's always the first sign, when the ring turns into a necklace or a bracelet or earrings…"

"All right, I have to go to class," Alice sighed, and there was a distinct displeasured tone in her voice.

"Which one?" I asked, shooting another warning glare at a group of sophomores who looked ready to accost her.

"Government," she replied unenthusiastically. "Did I mention that the teacher hates me?"

"Aw, that's all right, you don't like him either, Allie. Just one more hour, and then we're gone for the whole long weekend. Well, not us, precisely, but…"

Her eyes lit up at that. "You're right, there is only one more hour!" Immediately, it was as if the clouds had lifted and sunlight had come into her mood.

*~*~*

I was happily, oh-so-happily, anticipating the second I would see Rosalie, because it was creeping ever closer, when my phone rang.

Speak of my angel.

"Yes, Rose?" I said, yanking open my locker door to dump all my school stuff in there.

"Listen, I'm on my way to pick you up, because Alice just called Jasper and announced that she got detention and you are NOT touching the keys to my convertible. Please tell me you don't have detention too."

"I was a good boy," I replied with a grin, sending a sympathetic grimace in Alice's direction as she stormed, fuming, towards the detention hall. "Oh, boy, she's mad."

"Nothing compared to Jasper, I can assure you. I'll probably be about forty-five minutes, I've gotta drop Jasper off at the hospital first. Edward's going to lend him his car, and then he'll go back with Carlisle."

"Then who's driving the M3?" I asked as I glanced outside. Still nonstop clouds. Sighing, I opened the doors and walked out.

"Oh yeah. Jasper, you don't need Edward's car. Alice has mine. Tell her to pick you up at the hospital…"

"Rosalie, would you PLEASE watch the road?" I heard Jasper howl, and the sounds of blaring horns. "I am VERY fond of this car, I don't want it totaled!"

"I'll see you later, baby," I laughed, hanging up to the sounds of Rosalie and Jasper bickering. God, sometimes they acted more like siblings than any of the rest of us.

*~*~*

Rosalie arrived right on time, pulling up to the doors with an expectant look on her face. I jumped in, and after another quick look around the deserted schoolyard, I kissed her swiftly. "All right, let's get out of here, angel."

"What's your hurry, Emmett?" she asked with a laugh, tearing out of the loop with maybe just a touch more of a lead foot than Rosalie normally used.

"I fully intend on picking up where we left off this morning as soon as we hit city limits," I replied, noticing for the first time that she'd shed the camisole, cardigan and leggings which had made the dress acceptable for school wear. "Maybe even sooner," I amended, as I slid a hand beneath the hem of her dress.

"Emmett, would you not distract me while I'm driving –" Rosalie gasped as I reached her centre. "Emmett, I'm serious…" She moaned, barely managing to make the turn while I was busy driving her slowly mad. "Em…"

"Pull into an alleyway, Rose…" I breathed into her ear. "Pull into a nice, dark alley and I'll show you heaven."

"Oh, God, Emmett, not in Jasper's car…" she groaned.

"Why not?" I challenged, feeling slightly sorry for the poor guy as I thought of him, stuck in Carlisle's office with Edward while Alice was in detention. "You know he's going to jump her in your car the second she pulls into the hospital parking lot."

"There are some things in life that are beyond sacred, Em…" She gasped, parking the car and quickly pulled my hand away. "We sort of agreed to leave each other's car out of this weekend's… activities. Car-sex should only be done in one's own car."

I sighed, kissing her again. "Well, I guess we should swing by home and pick up my Jeep, then. Leave this car in the garage for Jasper and Alice. Save your car from any possible damage –" Speaking of damage to the beloved M3, I should've probably told her about the dent.

Nah. It could wait.

*~*~*

"Emmett, Emmett, that's your phone," Rosalie gasped, as I surfaced briefly from our tangled bodies to find the source of our interruption, so I could destroy it. "Or my phone. Or both…"

"Leave it," I said with a growl, abandoning my search in favour of plundering her mouth desperately. I'd lost track of time – we must've been gone at least a few hours. We'd gotten our hunting over and done with in the first hour, so I had the distinct pleasure of watching amber instead of coal. Rosalie's eyes always told me everything that she wouldn't voice aloud, and she was much easier to read when she wasn't thirsty.

"Emmett, we can't," she protested, wriggling away. "What if it's Carlisle?"

The phone started ringing again, and growling in frustration, I dug through the shredded remains of our clothes, trying to find the offending phone. Finally, I located the ringing one – mine – and glanced at the call display. Edward.

Rosalie sat up to look at me as I scowled at the phone, waiting for Edward to give up. Man, I was not answering unless it was Carlisle. "Em?"

"Nothing, baby, just Edward. He can wait until Monday," I replied, finally silencing the ring and returning to her.

Now Rosalie's phone started ringing.

"Leave it," I said warningly, pinning her back down on the seat. "He can wait until Monday."

"That's not Edward's ring," she replied. "Pass me my purse, baby."

"I don't care. Nothing, nothing, is interrupting my weekend," I muttered, even as I reached across and pulled her purse off the passenger side seat. Rosalie sighed and opened it, trying to work her arms around my head as I returned to her neck hungrily.

She finally pulled out the phone and flipped it open. "Yes, Carlisle?"

I stopped for a second, until I heard Edward snap something on the other end of the line.

"Go away, Edward," I growled loud enough for him to hear.

"Edward, that was low," Rosalie snarled. "You know Carlisle only calls in an emergency, you knew I'd only answer to his cell, don't take advantage of it like that. Tell me on Monday." She hung up and threw the phone aside, moaning as I pulled her legs apart and began to reach for her wet, well-loved mound again. "Emmett, don't tease like this…" she groaned as I delivered quick, little, fleeting touches. "Just take me with –" She stopped as her phone started ringing again, a different ring this time. "God, our family has the best timing," she groaned, reaching for it.

"Who is it this time?" I asked, burying my face between her breasts in frustration.

"Esme." Sighing, Rosalie flipped her phone open. "Yes, Esme?"

Esme's frantic voice filtered through.

"Okay, okay, calm down, Esme. We left early. What's going on?" Rosalie said in a calming voice, sitting up slowly. "What about Alice?" Her face froze.

"What, Rose? What is it?" I asked with a frown.

"Is she all right?" Rosalie asked. "Okay, so where are we meeting you? She did clean up, right?"

"Rose, what's going on?" I asked again. As she hung up, she looked at me.

"We're going to Denali. Alice just killed a bunch of students at the school."