Author's Note: I still don't own Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and Shonen Jump.
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Madara was pissed. No, scratch that, pissed didn't even begin to do justice for the pure frothing-at-the-mouth anger that was coursing through his veins right now. Who did Hashirama think he was, giving Uchiha Madara orders?! That hat was obviously too tight; a lack of blood circulation to the brain was the only explanation the head of the Uchiha could think of for Hashirama's departure from sense.
The worst part about was that Madara had complied! A Senju had given him, the master of the Sharingan, and order, and he'd just accepted it and ran like a dog with its tail between its legs! It was sickening. Had living in Konoha truly made him so weak that he could no longer stand up for himself?
No, it wasn't his fault. He was still as strong as ever; he could feel it. It wasn't even Hashirama's fault. His friend was being the same irritating bleeding heart he had always been. It was Uzumaki that was to blame. If it weren't for her and that stupid fucking arranged marriage bullshit, neither he nor Hashirama would be in this mess to begin with!
He gritted his teeth and a snarl escaped his lips. Must that miserable brat ruin everything she came across?!
No, no, he had to calm down. The master of the sharingan had to restrain himself. That worthless brat of Whirlpool, for reasons that escaped him completely, was well liked around the village. Even his Uchiha brethren seemed to like her (a fact which baffled him completely). The sheer outcry that would come from him killing her would be the stuff of nightmares, not because of anything they could do to him (he could kill the lot of them with his hands tied behind his back if he had to), but because of the effect it'd have on the village. Konohagakure was still far too new to risk any strife among its administrators, let alone the highest echelons of authority. For the sake of the dream he and Hashirama shared, Madara had to restrain himself.
The Uchiha let out an irritated sigh. He'd been improving, at least. Back in the day, he wouldn't have thought twice about killing her the moment Uzumaki opened her useless mouth. Holding back had never been his forte, but for the sake of a future where brothers didn't have to watch each other die, he'd try. It was the least he could do for Izuna.
That being said, he was going to slap the taste so far out of her mouth that escaped earth's gravity if she gave him her usual "oh I'm so harmless and innocent tee-hee 3" bullcrap during this mission. He knew that the so called "perfect lady" that she presented herself as was nothing but a lie. He guessed it made sense that she would want to hide her pitch-black nature from Hashirama (even if she didn't mean him any harm; the Hokage just had that effect on people), but if she continued the charade after they were out of the village, it wouldn't end well. He was certain he wouldn't be able to keep himself from kicking her ass up and down the Elemental Nations.
"Madara-dono? Might I have just a moment of your time? I thought we should discuss the mission before we departed."
Oh great, think of the devil and she will appear. He scowled and turned his head towards the speaker, looking down on Uzumaki Mito as she awaited her answer. Discuss the mission? There was nothing to discuss. This mission was the easiest one Hashirama could have gotten away with giving them. All they had to do was find the Ichibi, seal it, and bring it back. It was the simplest thing in the world.
His scowl deepened a bit. "We don't leave until tomorrow, brat. Anything you have to say can wait until then."
Uzumaki nodded agreeably, and he instantly knew she was about to push the issue. That was something she did. She agreed with you and then explained in detail why you were the dumbest piece of shit alive. Maybe not in so many words or as gruffly, but that's what she did. "To be sure, we do indeed leave tomorrow. But certainly there is no harm in discussing things the day before? It gives us more time to do as we please before we go."
Madara let out a derisive snort, but just didn't have the energy to argue such a worthless point right now. "Alright, fine. Let's get this over with then. What do you want, Uzumaki?"
The Whirlpool harlot gave him that infuriating smile of placating (and completely fake come on how was he the only one that saw this?!) gratitude. "Thank you. It's a small thing, really. I was just thinking about how to make Hashirama-dono's wish for this mission a reality, and a thought came to me. I was wondering if you would care to make a wager."
The head of the Uchiha clan blinked once before smirking. Well now, that was certainly not what he'd been expecting. It was about time he saw something of worth from her. "I see. So that's your plan; you want to earn my respect by beating me in a bet. Not a bad idea, if it weren't for the fact that you're going to lose. I accept, but I won't settle for a boring game; let's triple everything, shall we?"
Uzumaki's smile didn't waver as she answered. "If that is what it takes, Madara-dono, I shall happily comply."
Madara's smirk grew a bit. "Well then, here are the terms. Number 1: we do this mission at my pace. If you can't keep up, for any reason, you lose. Number 2: you will do all the fighting. If I have to step in at any point, you lose. Number 3: you are forbidden from asking help from anyone during the mission. Random strangers, summons, enemies, I don't care; if you ask for aid, you lose, no exceptions."
The Uchiha's most prolific prodigy held up his right hand, raising a finger for each punishment he listed. "When you lose, you will do three things. First, you will go back to Whirlpool immediately. Second, you will convince them to become a part of Konoha instead of remaining independent. Thirdly, you will agree to never again enter the Land of Fire on pain of death."
There. That should scare her off this farce she had planned. She'd back away, they'd complete the mission ASAP, and then Madara could go back to hating her in peac-
"I agree to your conditions, Madara-dono."
All of Madara's thoughts came to grinding halt at that. She…agreed? But…but he'd made that as unfair as possible! There was no way a weakling woman like Uzumaki Mito could keep the pace with him, let alone do all the fighting without any aid! She wasn't supposed to say yes!
But she had, and the moment he saw her smile, he knew she had planned this from the beginning. To others, it wasn't anything but a pleased smile, but the wielder of the sharingan knew her for what she was. There was an impossibly smug grin behind that smile, he knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
She continued on, interrupting his train of thought. "Now then, allow me to state my own terms. If I should be victorious in our game, then you shall do the following: firstly, you shall agree to have a private dinner with me. Secondly, you shall give me a thorough tour of the Uchiha clan compound. Thirdly, you will tell me everything you know about what Hashirama-dono was like as a child." She extended her hand, her smile still plastered on her face. "Do we have a deal?"
Madara was not one to back down from a challenge. Without even thinking, he grabbed her hand and shook it once. "I'm looking forward to seeing you flounder, Uzumaki."
"And I" She smiled sweetly at him, and for just a moment, Madara's confidence in his victory wavered. "am looking forward to that tour."
