Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight. I merely play with the characters for entertainment. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 2
The Other Side
I woke up the next morning determined not to let my crazy thoughts get the better of me. Already I was feeling more spirited, not the giddy schoolgirl from yesterday. What was that about? So I saw a good-looking boy. I see them all the time in films and in ads. Okay, so it was the first time I'd seen someone so gorgeous in person, but that was no excuse. Models and actors were probably beautiful in person, too. Although I was fairly certain the Cullens would not need any airbrushing or special lighting techniques to make them look more attractive; they were just people. Sure, they were more endowed in the looks department, but they were probably lacking in other areas of their personality. Jessica mentioned they thought themselves better than others. Although I couldn't entirely rely on her opinion, if as she said they interacted only with themselves, maybe they were somewhat conceited. Not that I cared. It didn't concern me one bit. I would mind my own business today. I had school to concentrate on. Good. Now I could go about my day normally.
And it did. I even made myself participate in class. I did slip a little when I got a slight flutter in my stomach when I realized lunch was next period. But I quickly squashed those feelings and made myself focus.
I made it to the cafeteria nonchalantly and paid for my lunch and sat down next to Angela because she was there first. She talked to me about French class a bit, making small talk. How do shy people talk to each other? Luckily the others started arriving and Mike sat next to me. The Cullens made their entrance earlier than they had yesterday. I didn't look even though my eyes begged me to. I concentrated on eating my sandwich with my head down. I did notice Mike next to me glancing once in a while over my head towards their table.
When I went to biology class, I was hoping that I would get there before Edward so I could sit and not see him walk in, as opposed to him sitting while I would have to walk towards him which was what happened. And unless I wanted to walk towards him with my eyes closed and bump into God knows what, I had to see him. And he was looking back. Oh why? I managed to put my head down after that though and make it safely to my seat.
Before I could stop myself, I instinctively looked up at him because I could feel his eyes on me.
Mike had been right. He did look pissed. At me. Even with his angry stare, I thought my eyes were going to melt from his sheer beauty. I gave him one of those quick insincere smiles you give to strangers you pass by on the street and turned my head away. Dear God, why was my life so comical? Here was this beautiful man giving me the evil eye and I smile at him like an idiot. Truly, he must think me stupid, bizarre at best.
Again, I managed to not look at him the rest of the period, barring that one incident. And the day ended much like yesterday. This, surely was not going to work. Time for a different plan of attack. Naturally, I thought of doing the opposite of what was not working for me. Avoiding his glare was turning into a mess. If he could shoot laser beams out of his eyes, I'd be a pile of ashes by now. Since he couldn't, I was going to be defiant. I was going to channel Robert DeNiro - You looking at me? Well, I could look back. Did his mother never teach him not to stare?
The next day at lunch, Mike sat next to me again. And again, I caught him peering at the Cullen table. Jessica noticed, too. And she looked to see what Mike was so interested in. And I guess that led her to notice his glare.
"I think Edward Cullen is looking at you," she said in a low voice to me, although there was no way he could hear her from where he was sitting.
"I think he's obsessed with our new friend here," replied Mike, with a half-smile. "You should see the way he stares at her in bio." He turned to me. "He's going to bore a hole in your head with his glare if you're not careful."
Jessica frowned. I made a half-hearty attempt at a laugh and assured everyone that Mike was joking. He didn't look happy but he didn't press it further. Jessica looked back at the Cullen table and this time, I peeked with her. If Edward had till now been looking our way, he was no longer. He did not look happy. He was talking with his siblings and rolling an apple in his hands. I looked at the others' hands and they all seemed to be holding food or bottles of drinks but they weren't actually eating. Family of anorexics. Figured. Although how did the guys stay so fit? No, it must just be that cafeteria food did not meet their standards.
Jessica looked back at our table, and I looked back too. I didn't want to give more fuel for her to speculate on things that were not true. I was going to confront Edward in class, but maybe today would be the day he tired of his hatred.
When lunch ended, I walked with Mike to class and Edward was sitting at our table. Our table. Ugh, get a hold of yourself.
He was looking out the window. So he did tire of me... Why did that not make me feel relieved? Would I rather he despise me than not think of me at all? I swallowed because I knew the answer instantly. He was not paying attention to me and it made me... I don't know, sad? What did I have to feel sad about? He was probably some horrible person who tortured kittens in his spare time or something. Yes, that's it. Think him bad. That should make things easier.
As I walked to my seat, Mike who was behind me put his hand lightly on my back as he passed by me and Edward's head snapped around to stare at me. I was actually startled and jumped slightly. I collected myself best I could and looked around to see if anyone had noticed my surprise. Everyone seemed to be finding their seats or conversing with those around them and I felt safe. Sort of.
I pulled my seat and sat down, my hair doing a good job of hiding my face again. I must remember to not tie my hair up anytime soon. I sensed slight movement next to me and I knew he must be looking again. My insides did a little flip at the thought. I could deny my thoughts all I want, my body did as it pleased. I smiled the smallest smile I would allow myself.
During class, I peeked ever so slightly through my hair and could see he was not looking in my direction. That's good, right? I asked myself. When class was nearing the end, I mustered up the courage to look at him. I had, after all, decided to face this problem head on. Whether he was looking at me or not, I couldn't avoid his face forever. I pulled my curtain of hair behind my ear and turned my head slightly towards him.
He was looking at me intensely. My impulse was to avoid his gaze, but I staid my course. I turned my head toward him more till I was looking back into his eyes. The first thing I noticed was his eye color. What I had thought were light brown was actually lighter than that – a yellow, no, almost golden color. I'd never seen anything like it. I unconsciously leaned my body slightly towards him to get a better view. His face was so beautiful. Looking at someone so close up would reveal flaws, but I couldn't see a single one. It was like the opposite effect of a Monet. Being closer to him revealed a picture of him I couldn't see from afar.
I thought I was going fall into him and be lost forever...
I didn't know what happened next, but I suddenly felt like the most ridiculous person in the entire world. I was staring like a child in awe into these beautiful, hateful eyes. But I could see now that they weren't hateful. Not really. The were confused. And something else. Scared? Him, scared of me? The thought made me laugh. Literally. I laughed. And I clapped my hands around my mouth to stifle it. But trying to stop yourself from laughing often does the opposite. I couldn't stop. And the change in Edward's face to something uncertain and wide-eyed made me laugh harder.
Everyone was starting to look at me. I was having little luck keeping my laughter low. Mr. Banner turned around from writing on the board to look at me. Oh, how awful – but so funny! I was making a total ass of myself and that was yet more laughable. What was happening to me?
The bell rang. Oh, how the bell rang. It saved my life. I grabbed my things and walked out, stifling out a "sorry" to Mr. Banner between laughs. By the time I reached French, I had stopped laughing but I had a wide smile on my face. I sat in my seat in the back of the class and Angela who normally sat near the front came and sat next to me.
"Hi," she said, cheerily noticing my smile.
I greeted her happily.
I was on such a high the rest of the school day. It was as if I had been set free somehow. I went to the library after school to work on some homework when Mike walked in. I had a feeling he was going to find me. Well, better now than at lunch with everyone as witness.
"Hey, funny girl. Do I need to ask?" he said, sitting down next to me.
"Honestly, I have no idea."
Mike raised his eyebrows. "Fine, don't tell me then," he said in a mock hurt voice.
"Really," I assured him. "It was like one of those moments, like in church when you know you're not supposed to laugh and then you can't stop. I don't know. I made a pretty big fool of myself, so."
"It was bordering on bizarre, but I wouldn't count your social life dead yet. I think besides being confused, most people thought it was kind of funny. Not much happens in small towns, so we savor these moments," he said, making an exaggerated dramatic pose with his arm.
"Great. I'm glad the crazy girl can provide some entertainment."
"You know the whole town's probably heard it by now."
Another plus to small towns. News travels fast.
That night as I lay on the couch, I recalled what happened trying to make some sense. One second I was falling into forever, the next I was completely there. My eyes got heavy. As I was drifting off to sleep I had a thought. Instead of being lost, I must have fallen right through.
