Sailor Moon Chronicles R
Poison Ivy's Trap
A Wild Bandicoot on the Loose!
The green glow of the bubbling flask gave Poison Ivy's already sickly verdant skin an even more otherworldly vivacity. Her gloved fingers coiled around a test tube filled with some alienesque jam; she poured it into the bubbling flask. As the two substances came together, there was a sudden burst of steam from the mouth of the class, but it soon subsided, becoming calm.
"Keeping busy?" Harley Quinn chirped, shattering the professional silence.
A jolt shocked Poison Ivy; she nearly bumped into the table holding up her work. "Harley!" she said agitatedly. "Aren't you supposed to be monitoring Sloth and making sure he is working? You know he tries to fall asleep every five minutes."
Harley stretched her arms up and yawned. "I got bored. I wanna do something fun."
"I guess you could go deal with those two moronic scientists," suggested Ivy as she organized her work. "Mystique told me that they are driving her crazy with their incompetence."
"Now that sounds like a party!" Harley said cheerfully with a smile. "I'll visit the docs and get to know 'em. What'll you be up to?"
Ivy stopped arranging the equipment on her desk and turned to face Harley. "As it turns out, the Sailor Senshi and Cortex's nemesis are here and are already causing a mess."
"Cortex has a nemesis?"
"Apparently, Cortex is competent enough to actually warrant hero of his own. Seriously, I don't think Kaorinite is really trying hard to find good villains."
"The last few have been stinkers. That's for sure."
Poison Ivy was done cleaning up and started for the door. "I am curious to see this nemesis of his. He might be… fun."
Meanwhile, the heroes were continuing to follow the red pulsing dot. Though Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars walked together, Crash seemed to be zipping around ahead around them with little rhyme or rhythm. Mars had observed this and was really curious.
"Sailor Moon…"
"What is it?"
"Crash Bandicoot… What exactly is wrong with him?"
Sailor Moon looked up and saw that Crash was spinning around like a top and was jovially busting up the wooden crates that seemed to litter the jungle. As he did this, he was smiling broadly and snickering almost madly. Every now and then he would just stop, stand still, and look around before returning to his rambunctiousness. His energy seemed to never wane.
"Uh… he looks like he is having fun," Sailor Moon said, lulled by disbelief. "Still… he isn't much of a talker like Link."
"Link can talk though; I haven't heard Crash say a word."
"Do you think he can talk?"
Just then, Crash made one his abrupt stops and looked at the girls, still wearing that perpetual ear-to-ear grin.
"Do you think he heard us?" Sailor Moon said quietly and nervously.
Crash then dashed into the thick shrubbery of the jungle and disappeared.
"I don't think so," Aku Aku said after being silent for so long.
That spooked Sailor Moon, and she jumped and hollered. "You scared me!"
"Sorry," he apologized. "Crash, Coco, and Crunch are so used to me that I take it for granted and forget that a floating talking mask is quite a sight."
"It isn't that," Sailor Moon said nicely, noticing the embarrassment in his wooden face. "We have seen a lot weirder. I am just really having an off day."
"We better tread cautiously," Aku Aku said ominously. "There are giant Venus Fly Traps in this neck of the jungle."
"We will keep an eye out," said Sailor Mars. "Let's hope that Crash does too." She looked around for a moment. "Where is he?"
"Wah!" Sailor Moon shrieked and put her hands to the side of her head. "A Venus Fly Trap must have eaten Crash!"
"Oh no!" Mars shouted. "You're probably right."
"What are we going to do?" Sailor Moon said quickly, still holding her head. She then felt something wet land on her head. "What was that?"
Sailor Mars plucked it off her head. "It looks like the stem of a fruit." Then, one of those landed right on Sailor Mars forehead above her tiara. "Yuck!" She wiped away quickly and looked up and found Crash sitting on a branch of fruit-bearing tree. He was plucking off the fruits and eating. "What is he doing?" she said, annoyed.
"He is eating Wumpa Fruit," said Aku Aku. "It's his favorite food."
"Get down here!" Mars barked.
Crash swallowed and leapt down from the tree and landed before the girls, still holding some Wumpa Fruit in his arms. He held one up to Sailor Moon and gave a toothy smile.
"For me?" she asked.
He nodded.
"Thank you." She begrudgingly took a bite of it, not knowing what to expect. She bit into it and squealed. "It's so delicious!" She took more bites and stuffed her cheeks with the juice.
"Do you ever stop thinking about food?" Mars said in a huff.
Upon turning, she saw that Crash was now standing before her and looking down at his foot. A rosy blush came to his cheeks. He skidded his right foot across the dirt bashfully before holding the Wumpa Fruit up, not making eye contact. Sailor Mars smiled.
"That is really sweet of you, Crash" She took the fruit. "Thank you." It wasn't really clear to her why she did this, but she proceeded to pat him on his head like a dog, which he seemed to enjoy since he smiled and blushed even more exuberantly before darting off ahead.
"Ooh!" Sailor Moon said teasingly. "Someone has a crush on you."
Mars gasped in irritation. "Gah! You're so dumb! It's not that at all."
"Are you telling me that you like him?" Sailor Moon said slyly.
"No!" Mars barked. "He's cute like a dog is cute."
"Ooh! You think he's cute."
"Ugh! I am stuck walking through the jungle with two idiots."
"Two? Who is the second one?"
"I doubt she means me," said Aku Aku.
Sailor Moon snarled. "That's not funny."
"Get your wits together and then, maybe, you wouldn't get mocked so much." She bickered forth as though they were in the schoolyard.
"I am surprised Crash likes you because you're a hag!" Sailor Moon retorted in a child-like whine.
"Bun Head!"
"Mountain Hag!"
Crash suddenly burst out of the forest brush hollering, effectively ending the girls' squabbling. He ended his flailing lope before the three in skid on his heels.
"Crash, what is it?" Mars asked.
Heaving and with one hand's fingers between his teeth, he flung the other arm behind him, pointing into thick brush. A rumbling vibrated the sylvan curtains. Then, like a snake rising from the shadows, an enormous, crimson flower bud at the end of a trunk-thick vine slithered up. Those crimson petals were laced with black vein while the reds proved to somewhat translucent, for a curvaceous figure seemed to be inside. As its finish rung up, the petals opened to form a stage for the botanical vixen.
"Poison Ivy!" Sailor Moon called in shock.
Upon seeing her, Crash greeted her with a wolf's whistle.
"Uh!" Mars uttered, red.
"Say something?" Aku Aku asked.
"No," she retorted in snap.
"So the rabbit has come into the garden?" said Poison Ivy, looking at Sailor Moon. "And look, more pests."
"What are you doing here?" Aku Aku demanded.
"Research, sightseeing, and looking for a new toy to play with," she gave Crash a wink, who then answered her with a rosy-cheeked giggle. "Why don't you tell me about yourself, little fella?"
He just looked at her with his really wide, innocent, and bull-simple eyes.
"Are you shy?" she said sexily.
He just looked at her.
"Uh… are you intimidated?"
Still nothing.
"Okay, what is wrong with him?" Ivy asked the other three.
"No clue," said Sailor Moon. "We've been wondering that for the past hour."
"Whatever. Appear, Heartless!"
Up through the moist earth popped up several plant-like creatures. Each of these things stood to about Crash's height with their four roots anchoring them to the ground. Their blackish-blue faces complete with jagged mouths and yellows lay in the center of a glory of as many as four yellow-orange petals. The Emblem of the Heartless appeared on the bulges above the roots and below the thin stems that lead to the head.
"Those are Creeper Plant Heartless," called Sailor Mars. "Watch out for their projectile seeds."
Crash either didn't hear her or didn't bother listening at all because he dashed forth at the plant Heartless even as a few of them fired seeds at him. He was remarkably quick to dodge, and he jumped around and seemed to be amused with seeing the Creeper Plants twist and gyrate in place as they tried to follow his rambunctious movements. When he was ready to attack, he began to spin like a tornado and smashed into the Heartless, dislodging their roots and sending them flying. Each time he stopped spinning for a breath, the women saw him grinning with energy. It wasn't long for the squad of Heartless to be no more.
"Hmm… Impressive," Poison Ivy said. "I am beginning to see why Cortex would take you as a threat. However… you aren't a threat to me."
While she was speaking, vines had managed to slither around Crash ankles. The vines whipped back and hoisted him up high.
"Crash!" cried Sailor Moon.
"I'll set him free!" Mars shouted, putting her index fingers together for an attack.
Suddenly, two towing beings erupted from the ground on either side of Ivy's big flower. On top of four, thick, yellow bases, which thinning in diameter further up, sat a big, elaborately decorated masks adorned with rainbow extensions around the rims, a pair of red eyes and an yellow mouth with an Emblem of the Heartless smack-dab in the middle, all on the round, silver and rainbow face. Quickly, the rainbow extensions of one of these beasts glowed brightly before its eyes closed and a laser blast shot from the mask face at Sailor Mars. It took her by surprise, and though she leapt out of the way, the shock of the explosion still caught her. The other mask targeted Sailor Moon with a laser blast, but she dodged more successful. As Sailor Mars got to her feet, she saw that the one that was gunning for her was charging up again. She managed to dodge the next attack well.
"A new type of Heartless?" she called.
"Do you like them?" said Ivy. "They are called the Gamyga. Artistic, aesthetically pleasing, and deadly." She now stared into Crash's eyes. "As for you…" Vines wrapped around Crash's wrists and ankles, immobilizing all of his limbs, leaving him totally at Poison Ivy's mercy. The vines positioned him upright and brought him face to face with her. "Cotex says you can't be tamed. His approach is brutish, so synthetic. Perhaps something more…" her hand caressed his blazing pink cheek, "natural will work…" Lunging like a viper, her lips landed on his cheek. Crash's mouth stretched into a big, dumb grin, and his eyes rolled up to the clouds. As soon as she was done, the vines released him, causing him to fall and crash onto the jungle floor with a thud.
"Crash, are you okay?" Sailor Moon called.
The two Gamygas stopped firing. Their eyes still starred off blankly at the distance. All other eyes were on Crash. Steadily, he maneuvered onto his feet with drunken legs. Once on his feet, he stood silently with his face and eyes angled at the ground.
"Crash?" Sailor Moon said nervously.
His head slowly began to rise. Two things appeared off, one was the black lipstick marked on his cheek. The other was more unnerving by far. When they saw his eyes, they didn't gleam with energy or have a shiny gloss of dumb. Something primal was in those eyes.
"This isn't good," Sailor Mars said plainly.
"Not so much of an idiot now," said Poison Ivy. "Now he is the animal Cortex always wanted. What a fool he was using some ridiculous machine to take his mind while the right mix of pheromones does the trick."
"The lipstick," Mars said. She turned to Sailor Moon. "She is controlling him through the pheromones in the lipstick on his cheek. Whipping it off should snap him out of hit."
"Right!" Sailor Moon said affirmatively. She saw the Gamygas charging up their lasers and suddenly became less confident. "Right. We still have to deal with those things too."
The shots fired, and Crash made a dash for the girls, traveling on all fours, snarling all the way. The girls jumped out of the way of the lasers. However, Crash had picked a target: Sailor Mars. He met her with his fists, sending punches savagely and gracelessly.
"Crash!" she said, while blocking his blows and dodging. "Snap out of it!"
He didn't listen. Then she saw from over his head one of the Gamygas fire another blast. It hit her right in the chest, sending her backwards. She yelled out in pain.
"Mars!" Sailor Moon shouted.
Mars was on her back painfully trying to get back up. Meanwhile, Crash was slowly approaching her.
"I need to think of something soon!" Sailor Moon said quickly, her head pivoting around looking for something to help. She noticed a small spring nearby and Wumpa Fruit in a tree. "I got an idea." She charged forth, hopping away from the blast from a Gamyga, and tackled the tree. The vibration tingled up the tree and wiggled into the stems of the Wumpa Fruit, causing them to fall. Sailor Moon feverishly tried to catch one. The first few she missed, but she did manage to catch one. "Hey, Crash!" She hollered.
Crash stopped advancing toward Sailor Mars and looked at Sailor Moon.
"Look what I have here! It's your favorite food, Wumpa Fruit!" She waved the fruit in front of her.
Like a golden retriever looking at a bone, Crash began to slobber and grin with is tongue hanging down the side of his mouth.
"If you want it," she cocked her arm back, "go get it!" She threw it right into the spring.
Crash sprang forth after the fruit and leapt right into the water after it.
"No!" Poison Ivy exclaimed.
When Crash surfaced, he had the Wumpa Fruit caught in his teeth, happy as could be with eyes full of energy once again. The lipstick was running down his chick.
"He's been set free!" Ivy gasped.
"Fire Soul!"
A fireball smashed into the mask of the Gamyga, destroying the beast along with the yellow bases, and releasing the heart inside. Crash wanted to have fun too, so he made a dash for the last Gamyga, whipping himself into a spin on the way. Spinning, he slammed into the first base, destroying it, making the other one fall, destroyed that one, and he did this until only the mask was left. He ceased his spin, looked at the downed face and giggled before giving it a hard punch in between the eyes, sending it rolling into a tree where it smashed into pieces and a heart.
"Surrender, Poison Ivy!" Sailor Moon called.
"Fat chance!" she snapped back. She threw something down on to the ground, which exploded in an eruption of green smoke that engulfed the flower she stood on and her. When it cleared, she was gone.
"She is elusive in her element," said Sailor Moon. She ran over to Crash. "Are you okay?"
He nodded with a big grin and his hand in the "OK" sign.
"Sailor Moon," Sailor Mars said, "you really pulled through this time. What you did back there with the Wumpa Fruit, it was rather clever."
Sailor Moon blushed happily. "I have my moments. Alright. Let's keep heading towards Cortex's lair and finish this."
Meanwhile, back at laboratory, Cortex was looking intently through a microscope, meticulously observing what was on the petri-dish stage and then…
"What's up Doc?"
Cortex shrieked like housewife spotting a mouse and posed like one too. Harley Quinn was leaning in looking at him with a big smile.
"Watcha up to?"
"Bah!" he said, still frazzled. "You scared the Power Crystals out of me!" He looked at her and then shivered.
"Whatsa matter? You scared of clowns or women?"
"I am not scared of clowns," he said, not sounding totally believable. "Everyone in my family was a circus clown."
"You don't say?" she piped up cutely with smile, pivoting on her heels. "You wanna talk about it?"
"Why would I ever do that?" he said in haughty disgust.
"Believe or not, Doc, I was a certified psychiatrist before they locked me up in the loony bin."
"Are you sure that is what they said you were "certified" for?"
She frowned. "Come on," she said, taking his shoulders and stirring him. "Let's talk about your relationship with you mother."
Confused, and a little frightened, he didn't resist.
