September 10

"He won't stop moving," Harry groaned as he tried to get more comfortable on his bed.

"Ever?" Hermione asked. Harry was often prone to exaggeration.

"Especially at night. It's like he's hell bent on torturing me!"

"He's a baby," Ron muttered, rolling his eyes as he flipped the page of Quidditch Weekly. "I'm sure he has no other ulterior motive than to get comfortable."

Harry scowled at his friend before turning to look at Hermione with a piteous expression. She took pity, as always, squeezing Harry's hand with a sad smile. "Just a couple more days, okay?" she said encouragingly.

"I can't handle another hour."

Ron imitated Harry behind the magazine. "Such a crybaby."

"You try it, then," Harry said vehemently.

Ron raised his brow at Harry from atop the book. "Um. No, thank you."

"That's what I – oh, hell," he swore as the baby rolled inside him. "Stop moving, you fucking ponce," he growled, hitting his stomach.

"Harry!" Hermione admonished, grabbing hold of his hand before it could land another smack. As her hand touched his stomach, a kick resounded against her knuckles. She looked at her friend in disbelief. "He kicked me!" she said in awe. Without consulting Harry, she pressed both her hands against his bulge. Sure enough, she was assaulted with punches and elbows. "Wow! What's he doing in there?" she asked, her eyes wide.

Harry scowled. "He better be making a – damn it!" He scrambled out of bed as the baby dealt a kick to his bladder. "I have to go," he said, practically running to the bathroom amidst Ron's loud laughter. "Fuck you, Ron!" he called out before closing the door.


September 11

"No, I'm not joking. I think I'll die without it!"

"I am not getting you any more!"

"Please, 'Mione?"

"Ron, talk some sense into him."

"I want some too…"

"Ron!"

"What? I'm just saying…"

Boxes of chocolates surrounded Harry. His cravings were piling up. The more he ate, the more he craved. "You know what would be good?" he said excitedly as he bit into the last piece of white chocolate. "Pickles!"

Hermione turned green at the thought. "With chocolates?"

"And fish!"

Now Ron looked revolted. "Whoa, mate… Not a good plan."

"It's an amazing plan!" Harry said with a grin. "Winky!" he called out.

The small house elf appeared with a crack. "Mr. Potter! Did you need something?" she asked, her large ears wiggling with anticipation and glassy eyes glistening expectantly.

"Yes, please. I need two… no, better make it three boxes of chocolates. A jar of pickled carrots and dill. And throw in a couple cans of sardines."

"Of course, right away," she said with a bow.

Harry rubbed his hands in anticipation. "Can't wait," he said gleefully.

Hermione and Ron glanced at each other as they tried not to gag.


September 12

"Ugh, I don't feel so good," Harry whined.

"Told you so."

"Not what I wanted to hear."

"Well, we still told you so."

Harry moaned as his stomach gurgled. He had spent the past day eating his heart out. It had also helped that the baby hadn't moved since then. He was finally feeling the effects.

"It's all his fault," Harry complained loudly.

"Yes, we know," Ron muttered.

"I can't even breathe because of him."

The baby was pressing against Harry's ribs and pelvis now. The boy was sore from the pressure. The occasional shifts of the baby caused Harry's body to shift and accommodate. Since the baby was getting larger, there wasn't much room to move around in. This was bliss for Harry because he had finally been able to get a good night's sleep. That is, until he was woken up by his disagreeable stomach.


September 13

A wave of nausea struck Harry, jolting him up from his sleep. He struggled out of bed, mouth clamped shut. No sooner had his feet touched the floor that the pain burned through him. With a strangled whimper he fell on his knees, dragging in air to his deprived lungs. The alarms in Madam Pomfrey's office caused her to rush to Harry's room. She found him gasping on the floor, trying not to fall unconscious. She cast quick charms on him, strengthening him using magic. He felt his constricting throat loosening, letting in more air. He coughed painfully, the pain ever present in his stomach. He felt hands lifting him up into his bed. He fisted the sheets as his body started to reject the baby.

"I cannot let you ingest any potions, do you understand?" Madam Pomfrey said, holding Harry's head still. He blinked at her through his tears, gritting his teeth. "It might harm Draco," she explained. He nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as another burst of contractions passed through him.

"It will be quick. There will be no blood and no scarring. You will feel no pain as I perform the surgery. The only pain will be from the contractions itself. I can dull it using some charms. But no potions."

Everything moved too quickly for Harry. It was as though his senses were heightened as the pain surged in him. His heart was beating too rapidly. He felt every spell the nurse was throwing on him. The baby was still, as though anticipating what was to come. Fingers laced into his, gripping him tight. He turned his head to see Hermione and Ron by the bed, looking fearful. He tried to speak, but the word warped into a low groan of agony.

"Why can't you stop the pain?" Hermione asked urgently, watching the frantic nurse prepare.

"There usually is no pain," Madam Pomfrey murmured absently, mentally checking to see if she had forgotten anything. "But usually, it is a woman who gives birth."

Harry couldn't see any longer. His pupils were dilated and everything fell out of focus. He held Hermione's hand as he grounded himself to reality. "You're doing great," Ron said, brushing away the hair from Harry's eyes. "It'll be over soon, okay?" Harry nodded, controlling his breathing.

The baby was still.

Harry stopped mid-breath. "He's not moving," he whispered through his dry throat. The room seemed to freeze at Harry's words. His eyes stayed on the nurse, focusing and blurring rapidly. "He's not moving. Why isn't he moving?" He lurched when the contractions started again, getting stronger. "Please," he begged. He didn't know what he begged for. He just hoped that pleading would stop everything. That everything would become right again.

The incision was below Harry's navel. Just as Madam Pomfrey had said, he didn't even notice the cut. There was no blood. But he heaved from the pain as his body tried to eject the baby out of him, one way or the other. Through the haze of red, he felt hands on his diaphragm, pushing down. He cried out, his muscles straining. The pressure against his stomach was increasing. The hands were moving now, still pushing hard. The mass that pressed against his lungs was gone now. He inhaled deeply, filling hismself as full as he could. Then he let it out in a bloodcurdling scream. He felt his body morphing, the torture worse than two weeks ago. The hands were halfway down his stomach and the torn innards were repairing rapidly.

Empty.

It was the next thing Harry remembered. The pain was a distant memory. Now he felt… nothing. He opened his eyes and looked down. It was over. He sagged into the bed, his hold on Hermione's hand slackening. He shivered from the sudden cold and his mind was slipping away, trying to shut down before he could comprehend what had happened to him. He couldn't hear anything but the rush of blood in his ears. After a breath, he could also hear Ron and Hermione talking rapidly. He heard Madam Pomfrey shuffling around his room. But he didn't hear what he needed to hear.

He jerked up in bed and stumbled to his feet, throwing off Hermione and Ron's hands. He couldn't see without black swimming in and out of his vision. "Mr. Potter," the nurse admonished, "Get back in bed."

Harry's muscles protested as he shuffled towards Madam Pomfrey. She was holding the baby in her arms. "He's not crying. Why isn't he crying?" Harry asked vaguely.

"I need you to stay in bed, Harry," she said gently, trying to push him away.

"No, no, no. Why isn't he moving?" Harry asked, his words slurring. He dropped his heavy hands on the baby. "He's so cold," he murmured, sleep tugging at him. "Why isn't he moving?"

"You shouldn't –"

"Wake up," Harry said, squeezing the baby's arm. "You have to wake up, okay?"

Madam Pomfrey quickly summoned a Sleeping draught. "Drink this," she said, floating it next to Harry in hopes that he will obey. He did, downing the tasteless liquid quickly before returning to the baby.

"Wake up," he muttered, shaking the baby's arm. "Now. Wake up now." His words lost its slur and strengthened. He frowned as the shock wore off quickly. The potion wasn't working. "Do something," he said frantically, looking at Madam Pomfrey. "Please, do something." If he could, he would have ripped the baby out of the nurse's hand and shaken him awake. "Open your eyes, damn it," he swore. "Breathe." He pressed his hand against the baby's ribs. Warmth spread through him and shot out of his palm. "Breathe," he said tiredly, his energy draining as he poured his magic into the stillborn. "Breathe," he whispered, falling to the floor.

Piercing shrieks sounded through the air as his shoulder hit the ground. With a lightened heart, he slipped away.


September 14: 1 month

Harry woke up from his pleasant dreams with a yawn. He opened his eyes and stared at the headboard. He blinked twice before frowning. He was on his belly. He sat up quickly, feeling his flat stomach. He let out an incredulous laugh of relief, hysterically running his hands across himself.

"How're you feeling?" Hermione asked softly. Harry whipped around in fright, blushing profusely. She was sitting in the chair beside the bed while Ron was on the couch, pressing his fist to his mouth.

"F – fine," Harry stammered, embarrassed.

"Seemed bloody thankful to have your abs back," Ron muttered shakily. He was met with a hurtling pillow. "What?" he asked indignantly.

Harry sighed and leaned his back against the headboard. "It's over, right?" he asked.

"Yes," Hermione answered.

"Thank goodness," he murmured, closing his eyes. "When can I leave?"

"Madam said in a day. She wants to make sure everything is… normal again," Hermione said.

"What's normal about him?" Ron asked, smirking.

"Shut up," Harry and Hermione said in unison.


September 15: 2 months

"I never thought I'd say this, but I actually missed going to lessons," Harry said with a cheeky smile as he lounged on the sofa in his common room. He was met with a chorus of groans and 'you've got to be kidding me'.

He had somehow gotten out of dishing out details about his 'condition'. All he needed to say was that it had been contagious and he had been in isolation. Now he was back to normal, and apparently wanting to go to Potions class. That was not normal in the least.

"And I can finally get a good night's sleep," he added.

"Does that mean Malfoy snores?" Seamus called out from across the room. Loud laughs followed.

"Something like that," Harry muttered, smiling.

Five minutes into classes, Harry already wished he were back in the hospital bed. Being the Boy-Who-Lived didn't mean he could slip out of homework, apparently. By the time lunch rolled around, he was back to helping Ron complain his way through the day.

"See, here's what I don't get. We hunt for Horcruxes for months, get tortured along the way, kill the Horcruxes, help save the wizarding world, and how do they repay us? By making us go back to school. No justice in this world."

"Oh my god, Ron. I am this close to hexing your eyebrows off," Hermione said irritably.

Before Harry could add his two pence worth, he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hmm?" he asked, turning around. He nearly stumbled back when he faced Theo. "Oh… Hi," he said awkwardly.

"Could we talk?" Theo asked mutedly. Harry glanced back at his bewildered friends. They were also shaking their heads quite obviously. "Just for a minute," Theo added for their benefit.

Harry absently fingered his wand as he looked about for Blaise. He never knew with that Slytherin. He could feel Theo's eyes on him. "Yeah, sure," he murmured, looking apologetically at his friends. They glared at him fiercely before walking away. He figured that he had better explain to them, sooner rather than later. Theo motioned for Harry to follow him. They stepped into a recently emptied Charms classroom.

"How is he?" Theo asked, not wasting a second after shutting the door.

"Fine," Harry replied, leaning against the desk with his eyes facing the door so he wouldn't be surprised by an ambush.

"And you?"

Harry's words faltered. "I'm – fine too?" he said, not sure what Theo wanted to hear.

"Good," the lanky man said. He seemed to be inspecting Harry now, something the latter was not comfortable with at all. But the two kept silent, tension diffusing into the air. Harry shifted restlessly, wishing Theo would either keep talking or open the door. Theo sensed this. "I just wanted to thank you," he said.

Harry frowned in confusion. "For what?" he asked.

"For… looking after Draco, I guess."

"It's not like I had a choice," Harry said, shaking his head.

Theo let slip a weak smile. "You always have a choice…"

Harry looked away, his thoughts overwhelming him. No, I never do… "It doesn't matter," he said dismissively. "It's over."

Theo nodded curtly. "Yes it is, for you." With a final glance he opened the door and left the room.

"For me…" Harry murmured, strangely uneasy.


September 16: 3 months

Harry gasped awake in a cold sweat, blinking back the sting from his eyes. When everything finally registered, he groaned and fell back onto the pillows. It was the third time he had woken up from his nightmares over the course of the night. He wove his fingers through his hair absently, watching the pale light flood into the dorm. It was already morning and Merlin knows how many hours of sleep he got. "Damn it," he swore, kicking the mattress with his heels.

"Shut up," Dean moaned, covering his head with his blanket.


September 17: 4 months

Harry felt himself being pulled up by the hands. As he shot his eyes open, he realized that a scream was caught in his throat. He blinked at Ron and Neville, panting from the strain. "What the hell?" he asked breathlessly.

"How are we supposed to know? You were the one practically being murdered in your sleep," Ron said in disbelief, sitting down heavily on the bed and rubbing his eyes. "What was that all about?"

Harry tried to remember. Nothing came to mind other than falling asleep after a few hours of tossing and turning. "I don't know. I can't remember," he said, massaging his temple. "Fuck. I haven't slept in two days," he added.

"Try a Sleeping draught," Neville said, shuffling back to his bed.

"Yeah. You probably should…" Ron agreed, dozing off while talking.

Harry grumbled as he kicked his friend.


September 18: 5 month

"Alright, Harry. That does it. You are going to the nurse right now!" Hermione said, pulling Harry by the collar before lunchtime.

"I don't want to," he said irritably, jerking away.

"I am not taking no for an answer. I'm tired of you falling asleep on my notes," she said, glaring at Ron because he wasn't helping her talk sense into Harry.

"I'm sure I'll be fine after today. Besides, all I've been doing for the past week was sleep. Don't make me go back there," Harry pleaded.

Hermione's grip slackened slightly as he saw Harry's desperate expression. "One more day?"

"Yes. Just one more day," Harry agreed quickly.

"Fine. Don't blame me if you drop dead," she said vehemently, letting go of Harry and walking away.


September 19: 5 months

"Can't seem to stay away from the Hospital Wing, can you?" Madam Pomfrey asked, making Harry sit on the bed while she cast spells over him. Harry scowled at Hermione and Ron in response. "No use frowning. It's a good thing you came by. I can't believe you haven't had a good night's rest in three days," she scolded. "And," she added, turning to the other Gryffindors. "Don't you two have classes?"

"Right, right," Hermione said, pulling Ron out of the room. "You better be sleeping when we come back," she threatened Harry before disappearing into the corridor. Harry sighed despondently and slumped on the bed, pouting at the nurse. She took no pity other than trying to hide a smile while handing him a Sleeping Draught.

"Are you having nightmares?" she asked.

He gulped down the potion and nodded. "I don't remember them, but yeah. I've always had them, nothing new," he sighed. He had hoped that after killing Voldemort, his life would be void of sleepless nights.

"Well, we'll see if the potion works. Then work on getting you some sleep without it," she said. With a flick of her wand, the curtains closed, leaving the room in partial darkness. "I'll wake you up in time for dinner," she said. A second later, he was on the bed, sulking at the closed door.

With an exasperated sound he fell onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He was so tired, but not tired enough to want to sleep. He supposed closing his eyes was a start.

He awoke with a gasp. "Fuck," he breathed, stopping his hands from trembling while slowing his heart. He got out of bed quickly. Sleeping sounded like a very bad idea now. He walked off his night terror, calming his breathing. "Tempus," he murmured. He had slept for over an hour. He didn't even remember falling asleep. He wished he did, because now he was even more tired than before. He kicked the door viciously.

A soft wail caused him to freeze. He moved closer to the door. He hadn't mistaken it. He opened the door cautiously. The sound amplified. He leaned against the jamb, listening to Draco cry his heart out. He wondered if he should get Madam Pomfrey. He waited a couple of minutes, absently tapping his fingers against the door. When he realized that no one was coming, he started in the direction of the fussy cries. Four rooms down from him, the door to the room was open. He pushed it open wider, peeking in. Apparently Madam Pomfrey had taken it upon herself to decorate the room. Harry took in the room derisively. It was blue. Very blue. Everything was blue. The walls, the cot, the curtains, everything. "Right," Harry muttered, rolling his eyes. Draco decided to take that moment to breathe in deeply and shriek his voice away. "Shut up," Harry called out over the crying.

He did.

What he did next wasn't any better. He started whimpering. "Oh my fucking god," Harry swore, walking into the room. He stood over the large blue cot to see what the fuss was about. Draco's face was scrunched as he gasped and sobbed. His fingers were curled into his palms. He was kicking his legs weakly, his tantrum having tuckered him out. "What?" Harry asked. The baby responded with a sniffle. Harry reached down and wiped the tears. "Stop crying." Draco turned his head towards Harry's fingers, rooting. Harry pulled his hand away, still leaning over the cot. Draco opened his eyes slowly, occasional sobs escaping him as he bit his fist. He glanced up at Harry with sad eyes. Harry arched his brows. Draco mumbled under his fingers, looking at Harry's shirt now. "See, you were fussing over nothing," Harry murmured quietly, pushing away from the cot. Draco garbled out some sounds. "Yeah, yeah. Bye," Harry responded, closing the door behind him.


September 20: 6 months

Hermione nudged Harry awake. He waved his heavy arm at her, rolling over. "Go away," he muttered, sighing into his pillow.

"I think this is more than enough sleep for you," she said, rolling him back over.

He groaned and pulled the sheets over his head. "I don't understand you. One second you want me to sleep and the next you want me to prance around. Make up your mind," he grumbled.

"Well, the next second turned into twelve hours. So… Yeah, I do expect you to prance around," she said amidst Ron's snickers.

"I need at least twenty-four hours, Hermione. Please," Harry pleaded, falling asleep as the words left him.

"No. Then you won't sleep tonight," she exclaimed, poking him from underneath the blanket.

"I'll sleep through tonight. How does that sound?"

"Bad. Get up. We'll be late for breakfast," she urged.

That woke Harry up. His stomach was growling without mercy as his mind caught up. "I am hungry," he said begrudgingly, sitting up.

Ron hooted with laughter. "What the hell happened to your hair?" he asked.

Harry scowled as he tried to straighten himself up. Hermione rolled her eyes and pointed her wand at the locks of black, restoring some order to it. "Let's go," she said, hurrying Harry and Ron out of the room.

"Hey, you guys wanna see Malfoy?" Harry asked suddenly, stopping in front of the nursery.

"No, not really," Ron said, not bothering to stop.

Hermione stopped short and frowned thoughtfully. "He's in there?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her. Ron huffed and walked back to his friends. Harry nodded, jerking his thumb at the door. "Um… Will we get in trouble?" she asked. Harry shrugged while Ron nodded. "Hmm…"

"He's just a baby. What's the worst that could happen?" Harry asked.

"Besides projectile vomit? Oh, nothing," Ron said. "Let's go. I'm starved."

Hermione bit her lip, looking at the closed door. "What's another minute, right?" she asked nervously.

"Right," Harry agreed, throwing the door open.

"Whoa! Blue enough?" Ron exclaimed, staggering back.

"It's what I thought," Harry said. They ventured inside, making sure to tiptoe. They crowded around the cot where Draco lay.

"He's tiny!" Ron said in disbelief. "That's not Malfoy!"

"Yeah. It is," Harry murmured.

The baby was blowing bubbles with his mouth, staring at his chubby hands. His hair was so light that it was almost non-existent. His cheeks were ruddy from the heat. After a moment, he noticed the new figures gathered around him. He raised his wet hand for them to see.

"Oh, my Merlin," Hermione said breathlessly.

Harry and Ron looked at each other. "Okay…" Harry muttered, narrowing his eyes at Hermione.

"He is so adorable!" Hermione cooed. "Come here, you," she said, picking Draco up gingerly.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Ron said, backing up. "You better put him down, 'Mione."

"But he's so precious," Hermione said, pulling the boy into a warm hug. He latched onto her hair, spit flying everywhere as he blew his lips loudly. "Why is he so cute?" she asked, pressing her cheek against his head.

"How should I know?" Ron asked, slightly hysterical.

Harry watched the scene languidly, resting his elbows on the railing of the cot. "He's a baby, Hermione. Of course he's cute," he said.

"I want to keep him," she said decisively, causing Ron to blanch. "Want to hold him?" she asked, looking at Harry.

"And drop him? No, thank you," he said with a smile.

"Come on! You'll never get to do it again!"

Harry frowned through his smile, glancing at Ron. "I don't think I'll ever want to hold Malfoy," he said snidely. Hermione rolled her eyes and held the baby out to Harry. He sighed and took the boy from her arms. "And how, exactly, do I hold him?" he asked.

"How should I know?" she asked. "Cradle him, I guess. It's the easiest."

Harry shifted the baby so the head rested against the crook of his elbow as he formed a cradle with his arms. Draco curled into Harry's shirt, closing his eyes and fisting the fabric. "How old do you think he is?" he asked.

"Five months, maybe."

Draco hummed softly, rocking himself in Harry's arms. Harry held him tight, afraid of accidentally letting the baby slip. In a matter of seconds, Draco was fast asleep, sucking on his thumb and breathing rhythmically.

"He is cute," Harry said quietly, looking at Hermione.

"I know!"

"Um, missing breakfast here," Ron said with a scowl.

"Yeah," Harry nodded, walking to the crib and placing Draco between the pillows as gently as possible. With a final pat on the baby's tummy, Harry tilted his head towards the door, motioning for his friends to follow him downstairs.


September 21: 6 month

Harry felt a tap on his shoulder as he was walking down the mildly busy hallway with Ron and Hermione. He sighed and smiled, turning around to face Theo. The latter didn't say a word, knowing Harry understood what he wanted. "I'll be right back, you guys," Harry said, waving his friends away. Ron scowled at Theo while Hermione attempted a smile before dragging her boyfriend away with her. Theo motioned for the empty classroom, seemingly his favorite spot to talk. Harry followed him in, shutting the door behind him.

"You know, I saw Draco yesterday. He's only – oh…" Harry felt the words leaving him as Theo hugged him hesitantly. He felt the Slytherin relax against him. He stood stock-still. Theo rested his chin on Harry's shoulder, closing his eyes. Harry swallowed nervously, unsure of what was wrong. "Are you okay?" he asked. Theo didn't bother answering. Harry brought his arms up and pressed them against Theo's back.

"How do you give so much?"

Harry frowned at the question.

"How do you give so much and ask for nothing in return?"

"I – I don't… I don't know what you're talking about," Harry stammered.

"Why aren't you pushing me away?"

Harry was baffled now. "Do you want me to?" he asked uncertainly.

Theo laughs tiredly. "No. I don't." He tightened his hold just to prove it. "You're hugging me back because…"

Harry blinked at the wall behind Theo. "Because… you want me to, don't you?"

Theo nodded. "Thank you," he murmured. Then he smiled vaguely. "It's all I ever say to you, isn't it? Thank you? I hope you know that I really do mean it, Harry." He pulls away from Harry, unwinding his arms. "I needed that," he said, taking a deep breath. "How is Draco?"

Harry tried to regain his composure. "He – he's fine. Five months in now. I'm not… I saw him twice. I don't really know how he's doing. When I saw him, he looked healthy. So… Yeah."

"Madam Pomfrey won't let me see him. I suppose she has a point. Wouldn't want the entire school to know, would we?" he asked.

"No. We wouldn't," Harry murmured.

Theo stepped in and feathered his lips against Harry's, his hand sliding into raven hair. Harry let out a strangled gasp, forcing him back with a shove. Theo moved away without resistance, a dreamy smile on him. "You pushed me away," he said absently. "Hmm…" And with that, he left the room.

Harry sat down on the desk heavily, touching his lips.


"If you're going to talk to me, you should do it now," Theo said, swinging his legs from the windowsill. "It's getting cold."

Harry sighed, uncovering himself from the Invisibility Cloak. Theo didn't even start at the sudden appearance. "What the hell are you playing at?" Harry asked, clenching the cloak with pale fingers.

Theo leaned his head against the closed window, his eyes never leaving Harry. "I'm not playing at anything," he said.

"Why did you kiss me?"

Theo looked down with another one of his smiles. He shook his head, blinking away his thoughts, and glanced back at Harry. "I wanted to," he says.

"Oh…" Harry frowned in confusion. "Okay." He tried to sort his thoughts. He closed his eyes and took a calming breath. "I don't want to be kissed, alright?" he asked, without looking at Theo. He turned on his heel and walked away.

A moment later, Theo fell in step with him. Harry's shoulders fell in defeat. "Is that all you have to say?" the Slytherin asked incredulously.

"Yes," Harry said wearily.

"No hexing, no swearing, no hitting?"

Harry stopped. "Are you looking for a fight, Nott?" he asked.

Theo laughed and enveloped Harry in a hug that didn't last long enough for Harry to react. "You're amazing, Potter," he said.

"What's going on?" Harry asked helplessly.

"I like you. I never knew you would be so… blasé about this. About me. You don't see me as a Slytherin?" he asked. Harry blinked at him, incredibly lost in this conversation. "You don't see me as the wrong gender? You don't see me… the way the world sees me?"

Harry staggered back as Theo kissed him longingly. He felt an arm wrapping around his waist and fingers against his cheek. He pressed his hands against Theo's chest, trying to push him away. This time he was met with resistance. A lot of resistance. Theo stepped in, collapsing Harry's arms between them. His lips were wet with anticipation, gliding over Harry's easily. Harry couldn't breathe. He clutched Theo's robe to keep grounded. Theo smiled into Harry's unresponsive lips, parting them open. Harry closed his eyes when he felt a shy tongue enter between his lips, dragging across his teeth.

Next thing Harry knew, Theo's soft heartbeat and breathing was all he could hear. He felt Theo's hair against his neck and fingers pressing into his back. Theo sighed into the hug, the smile refusing to leave. He felt arms circling him, just like before. "There you go, hugging me again," he whispers. The arms stilled, hesitant. They rested against his back nonetheless, light touches. He closed his eyes. "Careful, Potter," he murmurs. "I might start falling in love." Harry's light touches became heavy for a second before dropping away. Theo stepped back, looking at Harry intently. Harry was in a daze. "Think you could love me back?" Theo asked, absently brushing the lock hair off of Harry's cheek.

Harry shook his head.

Theo laughed again and nodded. "Okay. I guess we'll stop right here then, shall we?" he asks.

Harry nodded uncertainly.

"I really do admire you, Harry. You have so much good in you. Takes my breath away," Theo said, murmuring the last sentence almost to himself. "Thank you for not pushing me away. I think I'm starting to see what Draco sees in you…"

Harry blinked. "Draco?" he asked.

"Not that it matters now, right?" Theo asks. "He's going to come out of this a different person. So different. I won't even – he'll be…" He broke off, clearing the lump in his throat. He let out a long breath of air through pursed lips, cutting off the emotions. "I'm glad it was you who took care of him. Anyone else would have… never done this."

"What about Draco?" Harry asked.

"What do you think?" Theo asked, winking at him. "I'm going to keep you in suspense for a while. Maybe that way you'll actually want to talk to me again." He jerked his brows good-naturedly before walking back to his dorm.


September 22: 7 months

Harry stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets. Draco was babbling to himself, sorting through blocks that were laid out on the blanket. "Hey," Harry said. Draco stopped mid-reach and looked up. He gurgled and grinned, revealing two pearly white teeth on his top gum. He got on his hands and knees, crawling towards the door. Harry knelt down to meet the baby. Draco paused when he ran into Harry, placing his hands on Harry's knees. He looked up and grinned again before resting his head on Harry's lap.

Harry scooped him up and held him close, his hammering heart betraying him. He pressed soft kisses on Draco's cheeks. He felt Draco's hands against his shirt. "I'm sorry," he whispered. Draco hummed, wiping his face against Harry's chest.

"Are you alright?" Madam Pomfrey asked, kneeling beside Harry. He shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed while tightening his hold on Draco. She smiled sadly, rubbing Harry's back. "You can visit him whenever you want to, Harry." He nodded, burying his face against Draco's shoulder. "He needs you." He nodded again. "Good," she murmured, getting up.


September 23: 8 months

Harry snuck away from his friends early in the morning. He arrived in the blue room, as he aptly named it, to find Draco holding onto the railing and standing unsteadily. "Hey," he said with a smile. Draco started at the sudden intrusion, letting go and falling on his back. Harry walked over to the crib and held his hands out. Draco blinked up at him and grabbed his fingers. Harry pulled him upright. "You're doing really good," Harry murmured, helping the baby latch onto the blue railing again. Draco bounced and giggled, blowing a raspberry at Harry. "Want to get out?" he asked, helping Draco out of the crib and sitting him down on the rug. He started crawling without prompt, moving towards nothing. "Where are you going?" Harry asked.

Draco babbled and suddenly stopped, having found a square of light to play with on the floor. He sat down, rocking, as he ran his fingers over the warm patch. Harry crawled after him, stopping beside the baby. Harry ran his hand over the streaming light, casting a shadow on the rug. Draco pulled his fingers back, ogling at the moving shadow with wide eyes. Harry moved his hand away, leaving the light to beam uninterrupted. Draco cooed, grinning and hitting the floor with his fists. Harry made the shadow again. Draco gasped, leaning down in wonder. He lost his balance, pitching forward. Harry caught him before he could land on his nose. "Whoa," Harry laughed, picking him up. Draco struggled against him, wanting to play with the light more. Harry nestled Draco on his lap and got a hold of his hand. He brought it up towards the light. Draco rocked in excitement when a small shadow formed on the ground. Harry pull back Draco's hand. Draco looked up and smiled at Harry's upside down face. He turned back to the light and waved his arms at it.

Harry closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the crown of Draco's head, the soft dusting hair tickling him. "Adorable," he murmured.


Theo felt Harry's eyes on him in Charms. He met them eagerly. Harry looked away, busying himself with his notes. Theo hid his smile and flicked his eyes away as well. After class, Theo found Harry waiting for him outside class. He waved his friends away with a glare. They looked at Harry disdainfully before going about their way. "What's up?" he asked Harry.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I – um… that talk you mentioned. I was wondering whether we could have it right now. About Draco," he said hesitantly.

"Sure," Theo said, pulling Harry along by the sleeve. "Let's go to library."

"Actually," Harry interrupted, pulling his sleeve out of Theo's hand.

Theo stopped, turning around. "I won't assault you again, if that's what –"

"Oh, no, that's not – that's not what I meant," Harry said, blushing in mortification. "I – I was wondering whether you wanted to see Draco."

Theo frowned in confusion. "What?"

"I can take you to see him."

"No, you can't," he said, shaking his head.

"I have my Invisibility Cloak. So, yeah. I can," Harry said, pulling out the silvery cloth from his bag.

It was easier to get in than Harry expected. He merely walked in with Theo following behind him. He pushed the door open, ushering the invisible man in first before walking in himself. He shut the door quietly, listening for a few seconds. He cast quick charms just to be sure. When he turned around, he found Theo by the cot. Draco was napping. Theo grazed his trembling fingers across Draco's soft cheek. Draco whimpered, rolling away. Theo smiled sadly, pulling his hand back.

"He was in love with you, Harry."

Harry leaned against the door, staring at his shoes. "I figured," he said. "That's not – that's not what I wanted to ask you. I just want to know why."

"Everyone's in love with you," Theo said with a soft chuckle. "Why would Draco be an exception to the rule?"

"Because he's Malfoy."

Theo stared at Draco for a few seconds. "He fell in love with you because he's Malfoy," he said.

Harry sighed. "That's not a reason."

"Hmm…" Theo murmured. "That's what I've been trying to find out." He approached Harry. "He's gone, you know? He's as good as dead. He is dead… That's not Draco," he pointed to the baby. "That's – nobody. He's a nobody trapped in Draco's body. He was one of my best friends."

"I'm sorry," Harry said, scuffing the floor with his shoe.

Theo stopped in front of Harry. "I've been trying to figure out why he would obsess over you like he did for most of his life. I thought he was jealous. Jealous of who you are. Jealous that you got recognition while he didn't. And I thought that would pass now that the war is over. But… he was the same towards you. He was rude, angry, not the least bit interested in how others treated you. I realized he was jealous because everyone else could have you but him. Obsession. I've been trying to figure out why he was so obsessive. I see it now."

Harry looked up in surprise.

"I think he fell in love with the parts of you that he wished he had. Your courage, innocence, laughter…" He stepped closer. "He fell in love with how real you are." He brought his hand up to cup Harry's chin. "He fell in love with your eyes." He gazed at Harry. "I fell in love with you," he whispered, kissing Harry gently. Then he let out a defeated breath, pulling away. "I – I'm sorry," he said. "I'll –"

Harry pressed his lips against Theo's, sighing. They stayed still for a few seconds, breathing together and fingers entwining. Harry felt Theo's lashes against his cheek, causing him to shiver. Theo let go of Harry's hand and hugged him warmly. Harry pulled his lips away from Theo and laid his head against Theo's shoulder. "I can't believe that worked," Theo mumbled.

"What?" Harry asked distantly.

"I didn't think you would ever kiss me back…"

"Oh…"

"Why did you?" Theo asked.

Harry hid his face against the crook of Theo's neck. "I – I don't know. I wanted to?"

"Ugh, stop being so coy," Theo said, blushing. "Draco would kill me, you know?"

"I know."

Speak of the devil, Draco twitched awake from his dream and started crying. Harry laughed quietly, slipping away from Theo and moving to the crib. He picked up the crying boy and cradled him. Draco scrunched his face, wailing. Harry wiped away his tears. Draco kicked at him, still confused from his sleep. "It's okay," Harry said quietly. "You're okay." Draco finally opened his eyes, looking utterly miserable. "Oh," Harry groaned, shifting Draco and hugging him tight. "It's okay." Draco sobbed, more controlled this time. Harry felt Theo touching the small of his back and he turned around. "He had a nightmare," Harry murmured, smiling sympathetically.

"May I?" Theo asked.

"Sure," Harry said, letting Theo take Draco.

They managed to calm him down after a few minutes. He was still gasping against Theo when he fell asleep. Harry wrapped his hand around Draco's fist. "He is Draco," he said, looking at Theo. "Draco's not dead. He's right here."

Theo stared at Harry wondrously. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You can still be his best friend, if you want," Harry said.

"I could…"

"He'll be a better person."

Theo felt his breath catch. "He will…"

Harry studied Theo's face. "I suppose I could fall in love with you, Nott…" he said.

Theo smiled, leaning forward to press his lips against Harry's cheek. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."


September 24: 9 months

Harry was on the rug, laying on his side, while keeping an eye on Draco. The baby was playing with the floating rings that Harry had conjured. He was trying to keep all the red ones away from him and the green ones next to him. Harry would silently flick his wand at intervals, jumbling the colors. Whenever he did that, Draco would pout and bounce angrily, scolding the rings. Then he went back to sorting the rings into proper groups again.

Madam Pomfrey walked in, absently checking the file in her hand. She stopped short when she noticed Harry. "Oh, hello, dear. Didn't know you came in," she said with a smile.

"Just a half-hour ago," he said.

"He needs to be fed," she said.

"I can do it," Harry offered, getting up.

"He's rather fussy," she said with a shake of her head.

"No, really, it's fine," he assured her. He took the two bowls from her and looked at them with disgust. "What are these?" he asked.

"Strained peas with carrots in that one, bananas in this one," she said.

"Gross," he muttered.

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Well, if you're having trouble, you know where to find me," she said.

Once she left, Harry sat back down on the rug and pulled Draco onto his lap. "Ready for some super yucky peas and carrots?" he asked, scooping a bit of green goop onto the spoon and pressing it against Draco's lips. The baby licked it tentatively before slurping it down. Then he made face of utter disgust, spraying the remnants off of his tongue. "That bad, huh?" Harry asked. He tasted some to see exactly how bad it was. Surprisingly, it wasn't all that bad. "Really bland though. Bet you want something sweet, don't you?" he asked. "Lets try the bananas and see if you like that." The fruit was diced up in the bowl. He took a slice and held it up for Draco. Draco took it from Harry and bit into it without hesitation. He hummed, nodding and chewing.

Harry tried to sneak in a spoonful of peas. Draco studiously refused it, turning his head this way and that. "Hey, Draco," Harry said. Draco looked up. "Ah."

"Ah."

Harry successfully stuffed in a mouthful of food. Draco successfully spit it out, scowling and shaking his fist at Harry. Harry laughed helplessly, conjuring up a small towel and wiping away the food from Draco's chin. "You're supposed to eat it," he murmured. "Let's try that again. Ah."

Draco scowled some more.

"Come on. Say ah."

"Ah."

Harry fed him the peas. Draco spit it out. Harry smiled, shaking his head at the boy. "I guess I'll just have to trick you into it, huh?"

Draco nodded appropriately, eating the mashed banana that was still in his sticky hand. Harry scooped a piece of banana into the spoon and then added a healthy dose of peas to it. "One last time, okay?" he asked. "Ah." Draco made a frustrated sound with his mouth clamped shut, pushing Harry away. "It's yummy," Harry said. Draco kept pushing at Harry with his hands and feet. "Draco," Harry said lightly. Draco looked up. "Ah?"

"Ah."

Harry quickly pushed in the spoon. Draco looked devastated at this double-crossing behavior. But then he tasted the banana. He made a sound expressing intrigue, chewing carefully. He blinked up at Harry as he swallowed it. "Success," Harry grinned. Draco frowned back, opening his mouth for more.