Jack stood in front of the plain brown door, hand lifted to knock. He hesitated. In fact, he'd stood there for nearly five minutes, trying to decide if he should knock at all. Ianto had asked him to stay away, pleaded with him, in fact. Jack felt guilty just for standing there.

What Ianto didn't seem to understand, however, was the lengths Jack would go to in order to protect his team. That included more than just outside threats of the alien variety. Built into his very being was the need to protect his team from themselves, and that was something, Jack knew, he'd failed at before. He didn't want to fail again.

Taking a deep breath Jack lowered his hand to the door, knocking loudly. He straightened his coat, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. The clock in his head ticked away. Twenty seconds. Thirty. He reached out and knocked again, but the door remained closed.

He debated calling to the man through the door, but he knew the Ianto was intensely private. He wouldn't want his personal business broadcast to the neighbors. Jack respected that, so he reached for his mobile. Unfortunately, it appeared that in his haste he'd left it behind. Wonderful.

Hanging his head Jack sighed. He had one other option, but wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. He reached into his coat pocket, pulling out his keychain. He watched the third key from the end as it caught the light of the next door neighbor's outside lamp. His entire team had given him a duplicate key in the case of an emergency. Surely Jack could justify this as just such a situation?

Inserting the key in the lock, Jack swallowed, turning it slowly and pushing open the door. He could see the light was on in the kitchen, and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. When he turned back around he saw Ianto standing in said kitchen, holding a sauce spoon aloft.

"An hour. I underestimated your patience." Ianto turned back to the pot he'd apparently been stirring.

"You knew I would follow," Jack said, remaining by the door.

"Of course," Ianto replied, setting the spoon down. "But my guess was ten minutes."

Jack let a smile cross his features briefly before pushing it down. "I'm worried, Ianto."

"No need to be," the man told him, folding his arms.

"No?"

"No."

"Then why are you still standing in the kitchen?"

"I'm cooking, Jack," was the reply, paired with a raised eyebrow. "What's your excuse? Prepared to flee?"

Jack frowned. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Then take your coat and shoes off. You know I don't like people hovering in doorways."

Jack nodded, removing his coat and hanging it up next to Ianto's. He half-expected the Welshman to do it for him, as was usually the case, but he supposed he'd have to get used to doing things for himself for a while. At least until Ianto was himself again.

Untying and removing his boots Jack set them by the door, before straightening up and looking back toward the kitchen. Ianto was stirring his food again. Smelled like spaghetti sauce. It made his stomach rumble.

"Smells good," Jack stated, edging into the lounge. "Late dinner?"

"Yup."

"I'll wait for you," Jack informed him, stepping over to the couch and taking a seat. He reached for the remote, intending to watch a bit of television while Ianto ate his meal.

"So you won't be joining me, then?"

Jack sat straighter, remote in his hand. "Pardon?"

"I believe that was English, Jack."

"I realize that, Ianto," Jack stated, putting the remote back down and getting to his feet once more. "I just figured you weren't interested in sharing a meal with me."

"I told you I wasn't angry with you."

"Yes, but you also stormed out of the Hub and told me not to follow you."

"A warning which we both knew you'd ignore."

Jack sighed. "Ianto, I'm at a loss here."

"Sit down at the table, Jack. Please?"

He did as he was asked, brow furrowed as he watched Ianto serve up the meal. He'd been incorrect. It wasn't spaghetti sauce at all. Ianto had made Chicken Cacciatore.

"Wow," Jack remarked, watching Ianto scoop extra sauce over the chicken. "Ianto, this looks amazing."

"Good," the Welshman replied. "I made plenty."

Ianto took the seat across from Jack and tucked in. Jack watched him for a moment, puzzled over the man's change of mood, before giving in to his body's demand that he eat the food Ianto had placed before him. He took a drink of the beer Ianto had set by his plate, swallowing slowly.

They ate quietly, Ianto rarely looking up from his food. Jack let that go, figuring Ianto would talk when he was ready. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Ianto put down his fork, wiped his mouth, and looked across at Jack. Unfortunately Jack was not prepared for what was coming.

"I'm putting in my resignation at Torchwood."

Jack dropped his fork, grabbing it before it could fall to the carpet. "I'm sorry, what?" Ianto just looked at him. Jack knew what he'd said. He just couldn't believe it. "Ianto, why would you want to do that?"

"I'm a liability, Jack," Ianto replied.

"How so?"

"You took me on that Weevil alert, but I gave you the wrong information. If I'd correctly noted there were three of them we'd have been better prepared to deal with them. Instead…" He trailed off, leaving the obvious unsaid.

"Instead they acted just the way Weevils act," supplied Jack. "Just because you missed that there was more than one doesn't mean the outcome would have been any different if you hadn't. They got the jump on me, Ianto. That's not your fault."

"I should have had your back."

"Ianto, I was the one that said to split up. I sent you around the building. That was my decision."

"Based on my miscalculation. Therefore I'm a liability. I got you killed."

"I came back. And you were there with me."

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes, Ianto, it does."

The Welshman picked up his plate, looking at Jack's and then back at his face. "Are you finished?"

"With the food or this conversation?"

Ianto didn't clarify, picking up Jack's plate anyway. Jack watched him in the kitchen, wanting to offer his assistance but understanding the man wanted to do it himself. When Ianto was finished he came back to the table, grabbing his bottle of beer and moving over to the couch. Jack joined him.

"I'm prepared for Retcon," Ianto said after a few moments.

"You want to forget? How far back, Ianto?"

"To before I joined Torchwood Three. It's a necessity."

Jack took a deep breath. Ianto had already thought this out. In an hour? No, definitely not. He had to have been considering this move for the last few weeks. God, and he'd left him alone to brood about it.

"Ianto, I trust you. You don't have to do this."

Ianto looked over at him, and Jack could see the lines that had begun to form on the younger man's face. It was as if he'd aged several years in less than a month. Jack ached to hold him.

"I can't walk away from Torchwood with my memories intact. We both know that. Even if you trust me, it's not your decision to make. We answer to the Crown."

"Don't walk away, Ianto," Jack pleaded, swallowing hard. There was a lump the size of Cardiff Bay in his throat. "Don't throw out everything you've accomplished, everything you've done." Don't throw out us, he continued silently.

"I can't stay."

"Why? Just give me a good reason why. And don't say it's because you're a liability, because I don't personally feel that way. I know the rest of the team doesn't feel that way, and you shouldn't either."

"I don't trust myself." Jack remained silent, waiting for the rest. "You may not agree with me, Jack, but I've let myself become distracted. It's not professional, and Torchwood deserves better."

"You're referring to us, at this point, I assume?" No need to ignore the elephant in the room.

"Yes, Jack."

"And you feel that we…our relationship…gets in the way of your work."

"I believe it's pretty obvious, yes."

"I disagree."

"Jack…"

"No, Ianto, just listen to me for a minute, okay?" Ianto stared at him for a moment but then nodded once. "I realize that this thing between us is complicated. We started out as what we'd probably both agree was just an office fling, something to release the pent up attraction we had to each other. Right?"

"Yes."

"And over time it developed into…okay, yes, a distraction of sorts. We were both hiding from the job a bit, I admit." He watched Ianto's face for any signs he was off track, but the Welshman seemed to agree. "But we didn't let it interfere with what needed to be done, Ianto. I would never let that happen, and you're far too professional to let it happen either."

"Do you know what I was thinking about that night, Jack?"

"The night you were injured?"

"Yes."

"No, I don't. What were you thinking about?"

"How quickly we could get the Weevil contained and back to the Hub, so we could spend time together in your room."

Jack smirked a bit. "I can't say that didn't go through my mind. It normally does, Ianto. I'm only human."

"Yes, well," Ianto put his beer down on the table. He had yet to take a drink. "Perhaps if I'd been more focused on the job at hand I'd have been there to keep the Weevils from killing you."

"Ianto," Jack replied, placing his own bottle beside the Welshman's. "If you were any more focused on the job I'd have a ridiculous time trying to pry you away. As it stands I can't get you to leave the Hub until after nine."

"You know what I mean."

"I do, Ianto. And I think you're being far too hard on yourself. I mean, who doesn't think about sleeping with me?" He cracked a grin, unable to help himself.

Ianto just shook his head, standing up and folding his arms. "If you're not going to take this seriously then I'll have to go above your head."

Jack sighed loudly, getting to his feet and moving toward the other man. Ianto backed away a step, holding up a hand. Jack stopped, face falling. "You've been trying to push me away. Trying to distance yourself from me. From us."

"It's for the best."

"And your injury, just a good way to convince yourself?"

"It's a daily reminder, yes."

Jack put his hands on his hips. "So, you've made up your mind. You're going to leave Torchwood. Leave me." Ianto's eyes locked with his for a split second and then looked away. "I can't convince you to stay?"

"No, Jack."

"And if we simply stopped what we've been doing? Stopped this thing between us?"

Ianto looked back at him again. "Could you do that? Just stop? The flirting, the touches, the innuendo? Everything?"

"Honestly, Ianto?" The man nodded. "I don't know."

"I didn't think so."

"I could try. It's just…you're asking me to go backward, Ianto!" Jack exclaimed, letting one of his hands flail around helplessly. "You're telling me that if we were able to go back to how it was in the beginning, the two of us not acting on our feelings, you'd stay at Torchwood."

"It's just sex, Jack."

"Is that what you really think? That after all this time, I'm just shagging the office boy?"

"You could have anyone you wanted, Jack," Ianto told him, shrugging. "You said so yourself. Who doesn't think about sleeping with you?"

Jack hung his head. "I was joking."

"Yes, well, I wasn't."

"So if you stay, it's over. We're done. It's job only, from here on out."

"Correct."

"And if I can't agree to that…"

"Then I'm gone."

"With your memories erased."

"Yes."

"And where does that leave me, Ianto?" Jack asked, hands out, palms up. "Did you even think about me in all of this?"

"Of course I did," Ianto replied, brow furrowing. "This is better for you, as well."

"How do you figure?"

"You'll have a better chance of forgetting about me sooner. You have forever. It'll be easier this way."

Jack opened his mouth and realized he was about to yell. His mouth closed again with a snap. He didn't want to make this worse. He turned away from Ianto and collected his thoughts for a minute. And if he was fighting tears, he'd keep that to himself.

"You think that by leaving me now, I'll be better off."

"I do."

"And in doing so you'll be just fine, because you won't remember me at all."

"You won't remember me either, given time."

He spun around. "I will always remember you, Ianto Jones."

"I think you should go, Jack," Ianto told him, nodding toward the door.

"Wait, Ianto. When are you doing this?"

"As soon as possible. Monday seems as good a day as any."

Jack felt a shudder go through him. It was already Friday night. He wasn't ready for this. "Are you going to tell the team? They have a right to know."

"I'll say goodbye, yes."

"And if I refuse to Retcon you?"

Ianto lifted a brow. "I'll do it myself. Now please, Jack…"

Jack lunged forward, grabbing the Welshman and crushing him to him in desperation. His lips crashed against Ianto's, and his hands clutched both his hip and his head, holding him in place. Ianto was still at first, then released a small whimper and kissed him back, opening his mouth to Jack's tongue and winding his arms around his waist.

This kiss was needy and intense, Jack's stomach tying itself in knots. He knew once he let go, that was it. He'd never get another chance to hold Ianto, to kiss him. He wanted to take him to bed, to show the man that they were good together, but he was certain Ianto wouldn't allow it. Instead he just settled for the kiss, and forced all his feelings into it.

When it ended they were both breathing hard, resting their foreheads together. Jack's eyes were closed, and he was choking down the emotion that threatened to spill over.

Ianto stepped out of his embrace, after placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "G-goodnight, Jack."

Jack's eyes opened, raking over the Welshman's face. He could see the tears pooled in Ianto's eyes and had to blink back his own. He headed for the door, slipping into his boots and tying them quickly. When he stood Ianto was there, holding out his coat. Jack put it on, closing his eyes when Ianto smoothed down the fabric.

The door was opened for him and Jack stepped through. It was cold outside. Much colder than Jack remembered it being when he'd arrived. He turned back to Ianto, eyes pleading for the other man to change his mind. Ianto just shook his head.

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets, pulling out his keys. He hesitated, and then removed the key to Ianto's flat. He handed it over, shivering when their fingers brushed.

"Goodnight, Ianto. See you Monday."

"Yup."

And with that the door closed, and Jack was left alone for the second time that night. Only this time, he knew, he had no chance of making things right again.

Jack hung his head, walking slowly to the car park.

~tbc~