I don't own Naruto.


'He had no idea'

Chapter 2


Don't know where he belongs, where he belongs
He wants to go home, but nobody's home
It's where he lies, broken inside
With no place to go, no place to go to dry his eyes
Broken inside

His feelings he hides.
His dreams he can't find.
He's losing his mind.
He's fallen behind.
He can't find his place.
He's losing his faith.
He's fallen from grace.

- 'Nobody's home' by Avril Lavigne (altered)


Is this how Sasuke always felt? Betrayed... by his own brother? Naruto pondered. He had been released from the hospital some hours ago and was now walking through the streets of Konoha to his favourite ramen stand. He was going to have lunch with Kiba, Chouji and Shikamaru.

His thoughts, though, were not on his favourite dish, but on the boy he had fought over a week ago. The sharp pain in his chest had receded to the dull ache he was used to. It would sometimes spike and he had to gasp, but had been able to cover it up as a cough for the last couple of days.

Kakashi had held him while he had cried his eyes out over Sasuke's betrayal. His sensei tried to comfort him, but he had not been present in the Valley of the End. He had not heard, what Naruto had heard. The tone in Sasuke's voice; unfeeling and accusing.

By now Naruto had convinced himself that Sasuke's defection had been his fault. He had gone over the raven's words, over and over again. Tormenting himself with the guilt he felt and the pain of loss.

Never before had he lost anyone that close to him. The Sandaime Hokage maybe, but they had not been as close as Sasuke and Naruto were. The boy felt like something was missing, like he gave up a part of himself. The pain in his chest was proof. It had always been there, reminding him of his loneliness, but being with Sasuke had eased the pain.

But the pain of loss – it was hurting him so much. It made it hard to breathe and his mind was running in circles. This is what Sasuke must've felt every day of his life, since his brother killed his clan. He had no idea in how much pain Sasuke must've been. He seldom let it show. Naruto doubted that anyone besides him had ever seen Sasuke actually admitting that he was in pain.

A heavy sigh left him. He knew he was frowning, but thinking about Sasuke caused his mood to go downhill. With his head bowed and deep in thoughts he almost missed it when he arrived at his destination. He was the first of them, so he decided to wait in front of the stand.

Still lost in his thoughts, the blond didn't see the attack coming.

A fist suddenly connected brutally with the side of his face. He was thrown to the floor by the force of the punch.

Immediately, his ninja training kicked in and he got up in a crouching position, hands held in front of him, ready to defend himself. His eyes quickly located the assailant.

A raging girl with pink hair stood in front of him, arm still outstretched after the heavy punch she'd thrown.

"Sa-Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked insecurely. He hadn't seen his pink-haired team mate for over a week. Sakura had been the only one, who had not paid him a visit in the hospital. When he had asked Kakashi why Sakura was not coming, he had answered evasively.

This was the first time he saw her since he came back from the failed mission. But why was she attacking him? He would probably find out soon enough.

"Don't 'Sakura-chan' me!" the pink-haired girl yelled. Her cheeks were red from rage. "How could you?" Her finger was pointing at Naruto accusingly.

The addressed blond stood up from his crouching position. He was not completely sure whether the danger had passed, but this was Sakura. She probably had a good reason to hit him, Naruto thought, right?

By now a crowd had gathered around them. Villagers were watching them curiously. Many of them recognized the 'Kyuubi brat'. Naruto faintly heard the whispered insults directed at him. Accusatory eyes fixed on him. The boy felt like a mouse in front of a cat.

"Sakura-chan, please, what did I do?" Hesitantly he took a step closer to his female team mate.

But said girl immediately took a step backwards. "Don't come near me, Naruto!" Her voice was high-pitched and the bystanders could hear her clearly. "Don't you dare come near me ever again!"

Confusion was written all over the Jinchuuriki's face. What's going on? His mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.

"You promised, Naruto! You promised me to bring him back!" Sakura shrieked.

Him? So this is about Sasuke, Naruto sighed. He should have seen it coming. He remembered the promise he had made to Sakura before he left on the retrieval mission. Naruto knew he had failed and Kami knew he was blaming himself enough for it. Still he had assumed that once he explained the situation to Sakura, the girl would understand. And there was always next time. Right? But you know what they say about assume.

"Sakura-chan, please let me explain. I-" he tried to reason with the furious girl.

"No, Naruto! I don't want to hear your lame excuses! I should have known from the start that you wouldn't be able to bring him back! After all, what did you ever achieve? You're not the dead-last for nothing! Sasuke was right, you're a dobe!" She was gesticulating wildly in her blind anger.

The crowd was silently watching them, fascinated by the display and open dislike shown to the demon brat.

Naruto felt increasingly unwell. Something wet was dripping from his nose onto his lower lip. Irritated, he ran a hand over his mouth. His hand came away red with blood. His nose was bleeding. Sakura actually hit him hard enough to make his nose bleed.

What was it that all his team mates were out for his blood these days? The cynical thought made Naruto wince. He shouldn't think like that. Sakura was just confused and hurting from the loss of a team mate. It's the pain talking, it's not that she really means it, Naruto fiercely tried to convince himself.

"I know you're hurt, Sakura-chan. But I will get him back when-" Once more he was interrupted by the pinkette.

"No, Naruto. I don't want you to do anything for me anymore! Consider yourself released from your promise! You were the wrong person to put my hopes on! You're useless!"

Useless, huh? That's what Sasuke had called him, too. The dull pain in his chest spiked again. He resisted the urge to claw at his heart. With all the villagers watching, he didn't dare to show any weakness. He knew they would use it against him.

The blond took another step towards his team mate. He just had to make her understand.


Chouji, Kiba and Shikamaru were making their way to the ramen stand, when they saw the large crowd gathered in front of it. They had run a little late, because Akamaru had stopped at every corner, sniffing.

The boys heard high-pitched yelling coming from the centre of the crowd. They weaselled through the gapers and reached the front lines.

Their eyes widened when they saw that the commotion was caused by a yelling Sakura, who was confronting a crouching Naruto.

"What's going on, man?" Kiba mouthed what all of them were thinking. Open-mouthed they stared at the pink-haired girl, who was openly demoting her team mate.

Naruto was bleeding from his nose and his cheek was red and slightly swollen. Sakura must've punched Naruto, Shikamaru deduced quickly. "Troublesome."

"I HATE YOU, NARUTO!" Sakura shrieked.

The boys watched, stunned, how she stepped closer to Naruto, slapped him and spat – spat – in Naruto's face.

An eerie silence descended upon the crowd. They only parted enough to let Sakura leave the scene.

And Naruto... he was obviously shocked. His blue eyes were wide and unblinking; staring ahead, unfocused. In slow motion his hand came up to his face, wiping at the spit on it. Fascinated, he stared at his hand. His blood had mixed with Sakura's spit. A sticky, wet substance.

Never in all his life had he felt this humiliated. Naruto focused on the wetness on his hand. The red blood was mocking him. He could no longer delude himself. This had not been the anger talking. Sakura meant every word. His second and last team mate had turned her back on him.

For the second time in only one week, Naruto felt something shatter inside him. He could swear that this time, he actually heard the clanking of the shards. The pain in his chest came back with full force. The bloodied hand clawed at his heart. An expression of pure anguish crossed his features.

But he must not allow himself to break down in front of the villagers. He must not show them his weakness. Schooling his face to a blank mask in an Uchiha-like manner, he let his hand fall back to his side. Numbness was engulfing him. It was probably a protective mechanism and pure survival instinct that kept him on his feet.

He didn't even flinch when two hands were carefully placed on his shoulders. "Naruto?" Kiba's voice caught his attention. The Inuzuka gently pulled him away from the agitated people and into the ramen stand. Shikamaru and Chouji made sure that no one was following them.

They gently pushed him down on a stool and crouched in front of him, trying to get a reaction from the boy. "Naruto?" Kiba waved a hand in front of his face. No reaction. "Naruto? Naru!"

"Kiba, stop it. He's in shock," Shikamaru assessed the situation. "Chouji," he turned to the chubby boy, "run to the Hokage tower and tell Hokage-sama what happened. Tell her she needs to send someone to get Naruto. I guess Kakashi-sensei would be the best candidate."

Kiba was glad that the genius had taken control of the situation. He had no idea how to handle this. Naruto was not supposed to look like this. The blond boy was always cheerful and smiling, blue eyes sparkling with mischief. But now – there was nothing in those blue eyes. No emotion. He expected to find pain and hurt, but there was just nothing. Kiba hoped that Kakashi would arrive quickly.

Shikamaru tried talking to the boy, but to no success. Even coaxing him to eat a bowl of his beloved ramen didn't get a reaction from him.

Finally Kakashi appeared with a 'poof'. He nodded a quick 'thanks' to the two boys, gently picked Naruto up bridal style and both disappeared with another 'poof'.

Together they ended up in Kakashi's apartment. The small figure in his arms was light. The boy was in shock. Kakashi had seen this kind of reaction to traumatizing events from other shinobi several times before.

He carefully placed the blond on his bed. He took off his shoes, but didn't dare remove his jacket, in case Naruto might think he was attacking him. Kakashi covered him with his blanket and tucked him in.

After cleaning his face with a wet cloth, he then settled in an arm chair he had placed in front of the bed. He was going to watch him. No one would harm him tonight. And if he had a say in it, no one would ever harm him again.

The boy on the bed felt oddly detached from reality. His numb body wasn't bothering him. For once, the ever-present pain in his chest had left him. His mind refused to make sense of what had happened. The only thought that was repeating in his head endlessly was Sakura hates me Sakura hates me Sakura hates me Sakura hates me...

He didn't know how long the mantra played in his head, but finally he was able to fall asleep. But it was not the kind of sleep that soothes you and makes you wake up refreshed. It was a sleep filled with dreams and memories of Sasuke.

"Sasuke?" a small voice whispered.

No answer. The regular breathing coming from the hospital bed suggested that Sasuke was asleep. The room was dark. The moonlight was casting grey shadows. It smelled of disinfectant and grief.

Naruto thought about his options. He could either switch on the lights and wake him up. Or he could just sneak up to him and wake him up – and probably scare him to death.

The eight-year-old frowned. He had not planned for Sasuke to be asleep when he came to visit him. But now, considering the late hour, Naruto realized he should've expected this to be the case.

Sasuke had not been in school today and Naruto was worried about the boy. Something had happened last night, he just knew it, but Iruka-sensei didn't want to tell him. He just said that Sasuke was in the hospital. So Naruto had sneaked in here to make sure that his rival was okay.

The blond carefully tiptoed over to the bed and looked down on said rival. Sasuke was lying on his back, one arm over his head; his other hand tightly gripping onto the blanket. There was a frown on his pale face, even in sleep. The moonlight illuminated his white skin. Naruto thought he saw the traces of dried tears on his cheeks. Had he been crying?

Naruto carefully bent down and very softly brushed a lock of black hair out of his face. Sasuke's eyelids fluttered, but remained shut. His breathing stayed regular, he didn't wake.

When Naruto would later think about the reason for why he crawled into bed next to the young Uchiha, he had no answer. All he could think of was that he felt the sudden urge to comfort him and to be close to him. It was probably intuition that made him take off his shoes, remove his bulky orange jacket and lift the blanket. Naruto climbed into bed and very carefully snuggled close to his rival from school. Sasuke smelled of the citrus shampoo he always used. He liked the smell. Inhaling deeply, his breathing soon evened out and he fell asleep, too.

Some time during the night, Sasuke woke up, gasping for air. His fear-filled eyes couldn't see in the darkness of the hospital room. He wanted to sit up, but felt a weight on his chest. Panicking he tried to pull the weight off of him, but whatever it was only tightened its grip around him. He tried to calm down and slowly became aware of his surroundings. He was in the hospital. Not inside of Itachi's Tsukuyomi. He sighed in relief – but halted when he remembered the weight on his chest.

His wandering hands swiftly recognized the weight to be a person clinging to him. A head was resting on his chest. In the moonlight the blond hair had a silver shine to it. But Sasuke would know this spiky hair anywhere. What is he doing here? the young boy wondered as he recognized his academy rival.

Sasuke didn't know what to make of this. In the academy they communicated mostly by insulting each other. Although Naruto always chatted to him animately, he would only nod his head once in a while and give one of his neutral 'Hn' to shut the annoying boy up. Why was he in his bed?

Sasuke then caught a whiff of the scent of his hair. It smelled like the woods outside of Konoha, like fresh air and... sun? Does the sun even have a smell? Sasuke wasn't sure if the sun had a smell, but he was sure that the boy in his arms smelled like it. How fitting, he thought and inhaled deeply.

When Sasuke would later think about the reason for why he didn't push the blond out of his bed, he had no answer. All he could think of was that he felt somehow comforted by his presence and maybe even reassured that he was not alone – even after what had happened just the night before. His brother had murdered his parents and the entire clan. He was alone now. He felt a pang of grief in his chest and his eyes were suddenly stinging with hot tears. It was probably intuition that made him hug the boy closer to his chest and bury his face in his untamed hair. It muffled his silent sobs and filled his nose with the smell of the sun. He didn't realize how his presence made his chest feel lighter.

Sasuke had no idea that the boy in his arms was wide awake since he had woken from the nightmare. The attempt to shove him off of him had woken him, but Naruto had refused to let go, quietly dreading Sasuke would tell him to leave.

Sasuke had no idea that Naruto witnessed his moment of weakness, how he wetted his hair with his tears.


He did not realize that this was the first time someone aside from his mother and brother was hugging him – and that he was hugging back.

He had no idea that this would not be the last time Naruto would hug him.

He did also not realize that this was the first time he shared a bed with a boy – with his rival of all people.

He had no idea that this would not be the last time he would share a bed with Naruto.


In Otogakure, Sasuke awoke from his dream or rather memory. Why do I remember this now? It had been the night after what would be known as 'the Uchiha massacre'. Naruto had visited him during the night. Although Naruto had not known what had happened to his clan, he'd somehow known that Sasuke was in need of a friend; though the boy would never admit it.

They had woken up early in the next morning, when the first rays of sunshine had blinded them. To Sasuke's surprise, he was still hugging the smaller body tightly, clinging to him like a lifeline. He felt... content and somehow... safe. But as soon as the drowsiness of sleep had left him, he tensed.

The boy in his arms must've felt it, because he wiggled free from his arms and sat up. They had been staring at each other for some moments, before the blond had gotten off the bed. He had put on his jacket and shoes and meant to leave. However, he had turned back around to him and crossed the distance between them in two quick steps. He had bent over Sasuke, who was still lying in the hospital bed, and shyly placed an affectionate kiss on his cheek. Before the bewildered boy had time to react, Naruto was gone.

Naruto had never seen him blush a very un-Uchiha-like blush. He had never seen the tiniest of smiles on his face. And he had no idea that he was grateful, even if Sasuke would never admit that to himself.

They had never talked about it; as they had not talked about so much else.

The next day Sasuke had been back in school and everyone had known about his treacherous brother. He was now called the 'Last Uchiha' and sadly that had somehow made him more appealing to his fangirls.

Naruto had only given him a small smile as greeting. It had not been his usual toothy grin, he would flash at every given chance. No, it had been a small, genuine smile. Saying so much without actually speaking a single word.

"Teme," he had greeted him. He had looked him in the eyes, knowing he'd see what he couldn't express otherwise. "Dobe," Sasuke had answered and Naruto's trademark foxy grin was back in place.

Dobe... Sasuke couldn't get him out of his mind. Maybe, if his brother hadn't killed the clan, he would have been able to lead a normal life. He'd never have had to dedicate his life to revenge; he could've been a normal thirteen-year-old, relatively carefree teenager and shinobi. But here he was, training under Konoha's number one enemy, Orochimaru.

His training had begun two days ago. Orochimaru was already making him sweat harder in only two days than Kakashi ever managed during the time of Team Seven. Although every muscle in his body was hurting, Sasuke knew this was what he had wanted. A sensei, whose sole attention was directed at him. The snake would train him and eventually he'd be able to kill his brother.

Itachi, the name crossed his mind. He was the reason for all his suffering. He had been his idol, the person he had looked up to. Itachi represented everything Sasuke had always wanted to be. His betrayal had scarred him. The constant dull aching of his chest increased a little.

Now Sasuke suddenly remembered that he had felt the same pain when he had first arrived in Orochimaru's hideout. It was the pain of loss. Pure grief that had almost overwhelmed him in the days after the massacre. When he had been all alone.

He recalled Naruto's words. The ones he had said when he had faced him in the Valley of the End. He had begged him not to leave him alone.

/I'll be alone again, if you leave me! I don't want to be alone again./

What did he mean? Sasuke knew that the boy was an orphan and that he lived alone. Kami, he had seen his filthy apartment. No parent would allow their child to live like that. But surely there was someone who looked after him, right? He frowned when he realized that he had never asked the dobe about his family.

Thinking about it, there was a lot that Sasuke didn't know about the boy. Why did he say he doesn't want to be alone again? It's not like he actually is alone... right? He has a lot of friends... hasn't he? I mean, he's pretty likeable once you overlook his loudness and clumsiness... Sasuke was sure he had seen the boy with the dog-boy and the lazy Nara. And even with the fatso Chouji. He won't be alone just because I left! Why the hell am I even caring about it?

Sasuke ran a hand over his eyes. Why was he still thinking about that dobe? He had defeated him. Even if he hadn't killed him. Sasuke was over him. He had left him behind, because he was hindering him. Right? He was the only reason why he was still weak. He had distracted him from his true ambition. So what, if Sasuke said he was his closest friend? So maybe he was inwardly asking himself if he was okay, but... This didn't change anything!

His body trembled in anger, as he realized that the boy was once again worming himself into his thoughts. "Stupid dobe," he hissed. He swung his legs over the edge of his bed and put on his training attire. He had to get him out of his mind. He'd train until the thought of him finally left his mind. Until the pain in his chest would go away. He stormed out of his room angrily.


Sasuke had no idea that the boy on his mind was having similar thoughts.

Naruto awoke from his dream, feeling restless. Apparently the teme would even bother him in his sleep. Annoyed, he struggled with the blanket. Judging from the scent, he was in Kakashi's bed. He vaguely remembered being picked up by him after – the incident suddenly came back to him. After Sakura said she hates me.

He had lost his second team mate in only a weak. He had somehow driven them all away. There was no Team Seven any more. He was alone. Again. The only one who was left was Kakashi. Let's see how long he'll last, the cynical thought crossed Naruto's mind.

Although Naruto was blaming himself, he had come to the result that Sakura had never been particularly friendly to him. The pinkette would use every opportunity to belittle him – especially in front of Sasuke. She'd hit him for the absurdest reasons. Sakura certainly was violent. And Naruto would mostly be on the receiving end of it. All his attempts to befriend Sakura had been fruitless. The girl never agreed to go eat ramen with him. She was always focused on the teme; obsessively so. Naruto knew since the academy that Sakura was Sasuke's number one fangirl. Maybe this should have been reason enough to be apprehensive. But Naruto had been desperately trying to make friends. The fangirls hated him, the others hardly tolerated him and the boys, well he had formed some kind of friendship with Kiba, Chouji and Shikamaru during detention and pranking.

Still, Naruto came to the conclusion that Sakura had not really deserved his regret. Naruto had once again deluded himself. There never was a friendship in the first place between them. They had been team mates and even then the pink-haired kunoichi had mainly ignored or insulted him.

Staring at the ceiling of Kakashi's dark bedroom, Naruto made a decision. He would not go through this pain again. Sasuke was right after all – I had no idea how he felt, because I never had anyone I cared about. I was always alone. Being alone hurt less than losing your precious people.

He suppressed a snort as he thought about his own naiveté. Bonds, what were they actually good for? He had believed in them, but he couldn't find the reason for that belief any more. He had been betrayed twice. He was not sure if he'd mentally survive another betrayal. He just needed to find a way to not get hurt again. He'd have to be very careful in whom he'd place his trust in the future.


The author says: Sorry to all the Sakura-fans out there!

I don't particularly hate her, but she's definitely not one of my favourite characters either. At first I thought she had improved a lot and I really started to like her, especially after the fight with Sasori... But then she tried to 'take care of Naruto' and tried to stop him from chasing after Sasuke by lying to him and telling him she loved him? The girl kinda lost my respect there.

Still she will grow up in this fic eventually, that's all I say, so don't be mad at me, please!

Thanks for reading!

xXHaneliXx