Rory POV
I knew it. I knew it! I knew it wouldn't last, but I still had hope. However, that still isn't enough. I'm never enough! Rory Gilmore isn't enough for anyone. Not my dad, definitely not Dean and most of all not Logan. My heart is broken and I don't know if it will ever mend completely, but who cares? How many people go on to live successful lives and don't love or have love lives? Well, that's depressing. You know what else is depressing? Me! I'm depressing, I'm a living loser and somehow I just keep fucking up and doing everything wrong. I have my mom and Luke who are completely behind me along with the rest of Star's Hollow. They all believe I'm some overnight success, what were they thinking? I have a boyfriend that I didn't even know was my boyfriend and keep forgetting that he's my boyfriend. Poor Pete,.. no Paul I'd say sad for him, but he eventually dumped me because I treated him the same way I was being treated by all the men in my life. Well, not all the men. There is Luke, the world's answer to douche bags. Why can't I find someone like Luke? He's been there for mom for years and granted he has his faults, but he more than makes up for them in oh so many ways.
Ugh! I'm tired of going over all these things I already know. Yes, I screwed up. I knew it then and I know it now. It should have been obvious I wasn't enough when the bastard cheated. I took Logan back because I thought I could get over it. But no, I am no society wife and it took his near death for me to find forgiveness in my heart for Logan. Looking back now, I wish I hadn't taken him back at all and just moved on.
Had I just stood my ground and let his stupid over- the- top gestures slide off my shoulders I wouldn't even feel this new wave of inferiority. I want to blame Logan for this new feeling of nothingness, but it's my fault. Maybe moving on just means more than the simple let go, but to disengage and distance myself from all the meager and no need situations.
That's it! I need to find myself a new situation. I need to find some purpose and let go of what use to be. However, the blame remains the sameā¦.
It's all my fault.
~A few weeks later~
Sometimes I feel like everything since Freshman year at Yale has been a dream. Sometimes I wish that I had never met Logan Huntzberger. Things seemed so much simpler when I was back at Chilton preparing for college. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a dream world and any moment I'm going to wake up and be sitting in Mr. Medina's class with Tristin staring at me. Tristin...It's been a while since I have thought about him. I wonder what he's up to...' This is all running through my head as I sit the mail on the kitchen table and see a letter. I sit down at the table and open the letter.
'Rory,
I hope that this letter finds you well. I saw you at the reunion with Paris but I didn't get a chance to talk to you like I had wanted to. There are things that I have wanted to say to you for the last 15 years but haven't gotten the chance. I am asking for a chance now. Please have dinner with me. Call me and let me know. 555-2153.
- Tristin'
What should I do? Do I take a chance and have dinner with him? Or not and risk never knowing. I sat the letter on the table, knowing immediately what I wanted to do. I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket and dialed the number. "Hello?" I heard on the other end after three rings.
"Tristin...it's Rory." I said.
"Rory, hi. I didn't think that you were going to call." Tristin said.
"I thought about it. You were actually on my mind earlier." I told Tristin.
"Really?" He asked.
"Yeah? When did you wanna meet for dinner?" It was quiet for a minute.
"Is tonight good?" I thought about it for a minute. Mom and Luke were gone and it's not like I exactly had any plans.
"Sure. Tonight's good. Text me the time and address." I said.
"Great. I'll see you tonight." Tristin said before hanging up.
This was going to be great. Maybe this was the fresh start that I needed...
