Finnick

Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose. Maybe we'll make something, but me myself I got nothing to prove.

I thought I could handle it this time around. I was no longer afraid of the capitol, and I was definitely no longer terrified of what it held for me there. In fact, the capitol was just a distraction from my true horrors and I liked to believe that I had come to embrace my predicament. Or at the very least, didn't let it bother me as much as it had in the beginning. Mags always said this was a way of me coping, and that it was probably for the best that I coped. But then she also often made simple comments that it wouldn't be so terrible if I let someone..anyone..in. Apparently she was not included in that list. Still, it didn't matter. My life was nothing to be shared, even with those members of my family. We may be a small and close-knit group but they didn't necessarily need to have the same nightmares as I did.

No, I had come to terms with my situation. And I settled into my vicarious ways, going back and forth between my true home and the home the capitol wanted me to have. I usually thought that the only reason I was never forced to actually live in the capitol was because of the sort of mystery it gave me. Not that it mattered, I was dead inside either way. Was it a pessimistic way of thinking? Of course it was. But what else do you do when you are forced to become a literal pawn in another human being's games? With no way to fight it and no real reason to I more or less just gave up trying and fit in with the status quo. A smile here and a few kisses there, it really didn't bother me anymore. Which is why I thought I was prepared for this year's reaping.

We had gotten up extra early, as the mentors did every reaping, and let our prep teams ready us. Of course there were extras called in to help and all victors were supposed to get the same amount of attention. As always, though, the most attention was focused sorely on me as I was made into utter perfection. Nothing less than that could do for our dear president. Oh right, I'm bitter too. Oh, well. Anyway, after that we were trooped together for a sort of inspirational talk about what was expected. This was almost as comical as watching the prep team titter around me all morning because most of the people here, not including myself, had been doing this for so many years that it was almost imprinted in their brains, we had to go through it every year. More proof that the capitol found any and everyone in the districts to be incompetent.

After the "meeting", we were sentenced to a few hours by ourselves. I spent mine on the beach like every year, trying to memorize the way the waves hit the shore. My father and Mags knew not to bother me out here, but my sister did not know much better yet. She was, after all, only six and thankfully far away from her days in the reaping. What a sight that would be to have the heart throb of the capitol have to mentor his younger sister. I was positive the capitol would be positively in love. And even though I couldn't prevent it, I had a few years to pretend like I could make some sort of plan to save her.

"Finny-fish!" I heard behind me and before I could stop it a slow grin spread across my face, much unlike the smirk I would be wearing from here on out.

"Ellie-Bellie!" I exclaimed back as I turned around to face the rounded features of my small sister, who stared at me with a sort of adoration I knew I would never deserve. Mags often told me that Eleanor was the only person she thought I'd ever be happy around, which was ironic. My mother had named her because the name meant 'sun ray' and she had said that we all needed sun in our life. At the time, I hadn't known how right she actually was.

"You looked sad when you left this morning and I thoughted that you should smile." She explained as I hoisted her up on my hip and raised a brow at her. Sheepishly, she pulled out a small seashell from the pocket of her reaping dress. I had bought it back specially for her from the capitol, the look on her face that day had almost made the entire trip worth it. Almost.

"I love it." I tell her and kiss her cheek before I hear a bell signal that the reaping is about to start and my face falls. Quickly, I try to cover it up and force a grin at her as I set her on her feet. "See you after, Elle belle." I tell her now as she turns and runs up the hill towards the victors village. She will be going to the reaping with my father, like every year. And I will be going with Mags, whom I go to find.

She is in her house as I suspected and I lean lazily against the door as I watch her calmly teetering dangerously on the edge of a chair as she reaches up into a very high cabinet. I don't want to startle her so I say nothing and stand there, wondering if she broke her hip if she could get out of mentoring this year. It's a cruel thought, but it's one I entertain because the other possibility is still so grim to me. The only reason Mags even goes to the games anymore is because she's worried I might lose my sanity while there (despite all my efforts to prove otherwise). She should have retired years ago, maybe even before my games. But she's always been so stubborn. It would make me laugh if it wasn't so frustrating.

"I know you're there, Finnick." She finally says matter of factly before making an ah-hah! noise at the back of her throat. Looking smug she hops easily from the chair and holds up what looks like a bit of rope with a grin as if she had won the lottery. "I've found it."

"What..exactly..have you found?" I finally ask, trying not to chuckle at how easily she made herself happy. Then again, if a piece of rope made me happy I would climb through fire for it. I guess in this world you had to take what you could get. Especially a victor.

"The tribute's token, of course." She says matter-of-factly her tone threatening me to disagree with her. The truth of the matter is that no self-respecting person would ever wear some frayed rope given to them by a fifty-something year old woman. Besides, they'd probably have their own tokens. Wisely, though, I kept my mouth shut and offered my arm to her. Gratefully she took it, talking animatedly all the way to the square. I didn't try to pay attention, knowing this wasn't the sort of time that required my concentration or participation. She was simply trying to get my mind off of the coming horrors. Of more specifically, losing both of my kids for the fifth year in a row. It was nice of her, but no one could take the pain away. Even then I felt prepared for the worst.

"And now I present to you, the victors of District four." I rolled my eyes, letting my lazy smirk climb onto my face and settle. Mags said this expression always transformed me, and hated to see it anywhere outside of the capitol. Of course, Mags was not near me anymore and she couldn't tell me what to do on reaping days. It was then that I had to shine, and for the most part I was comfortable with it. Although it did prove to be troublesome when the attention was focused on me instead of the tributes. Sometimes, it led to a quicker death. Other times, they came out and surprised me. Still so far all it had eventually lead to was their demise. But, this was not the time or the place to think of such things. I would save that for the train where I would hopefully have some time alone before starting the next leg of my never-ending job.. Okay, easy Finnick. No use to get all hot and bothered before getting on the stage.

It was with that lazy smirk that I loped out into the sunshine from the justice building. I highly doubted any other district had the sort of dramatic entrance as we did. And I was halfway positive that they had not done this until I had become a victor. Then again, I had done so well with blocking those memories out that I couldn't remember exactly what protocol was mandatory at the time. It seemed like a faint dream and a different person. Especially compared to the me who was currently walking up the stage and winking at the escort who promptly began to giggle uncontrollably. You would have thought that I was the funniest man in the world with the way she held her sides from a simple wink. Shaking my head slightly, I took my place by Mags and shot her a glance. Of course she was the one to give the comforting smile and at the time I just grinned back, sure that this year would not bother me. Like always, I was completely wrong.


AN: Okay so the first chapter and the prologue aren't very long, but I hope to keep the length going for the upcoming chapters. Any comments or reviews would be lovely, or just reading it really. Also the songs at the beginning are things I was listening to while writing the chapter so I would recommend listening to them as you read, just to add extra to the overall effect. Also I do not own The Hunger Games series or any of Suzanne's lovely characters. Marlon, Eleanor, and other Originals are my own creations.