Chapter 2

It wasn't like you could choose the path your life is going. Some things you had to accept. Rachel smiled when she sat down next to her son.

She'd been worried when she'd let her Dads bring him here for his latest round of chemotherapy, because she hadn't been able to cancel her last performance. It was end of season anyway and somebody could've just taken her place. But no. The producer wanted the big showdown and threatened her with a sue.

But now she was here and he was still alive.

He'd fallen asleep right after she promised him she wouldn't let him alone for the night. Kurt had headed home right after they'd arrived and she knew he was going to tell the others. Maybe he was just too much of a girl after all. Finn wouldn't be there, but she no longer expected him to be. In her head she knew he would be married by now, to a tall blonde bimbo, living in a big house with a white fence in front of it… being a father of exactly 2.5 healthy kids.

There had been a point in her life when she wished he was the one who impregnated her. He was the one who tried to make the right decisions. But in the end just trying had never been good enough. So it didn't really matter that it wasn't him. Not until now.

Rachel looked down at her little boy and felt something within her shatter. This wasn't supposed to happen like this. No mother should survive her child. Chemo had stopped working weeks ago and now she was forced to watch him wasting away. She couldn't be anywhere else but here, wishing she wasn't. So, she let him be with... her. Even if it was killing her.

And she said nothing.

She didn't want to watch him, but she could never forgive herself if she would let him die alone.

She realized she'd become someone else when she couldn't stand the cheers anymore. Now, she liked the silence. Her voice locked up whenever a doctor wanted to talk to her – staring into space as though it's the only peaceful place left for her.

When haphazard thuds landed against the door, Rachel almost didn't hear them, because she was lost in her own little world of musical drama's and poisoned blood. She glanced up, wondering if she'd heard something. But there was nothing left beside the slow and even breath of the little boy next to her. She glanced down at him and realized he looked just like his father.

The slam arrived again at the door and it sounded like someone tried to break trough the wood just by knocking. Sighing she got up and opened it. Whoever it was had obviously never been in a cancer wing.

She hasn't seen him in years yet he still looked like himself and for a moment she forgot how to breathe. Dark circles hugged his eyes as though he was haunted. Maybe he was. After all… She was the ghost hunting his dreams. His body swayed and she half expected him to fall, but he didn't. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he wasn't. She couldn't bring herself to care anymore.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hummel called. Said there was something important…"

Figured… She let out a heavy sigh, pulling him into the room. He followed, stumbling. She could feel his eyes on her body but her focus was on keeping him quiet and explaining why she needed him to be here, sober.

"You gonna tell me, what is our Diva doing back here?"

"Depends…"

"On…?" She folded her arms over her chest, forcing herself to remember the words she didn't like.

"Whether or not you're sober enough to focus."

He glanced up at her and for a moment she catches his eye, making her realize that maybe he wasn't as drunk as he tried to be.

She reached for a chair and shoved it in his direction. She looked haggard. Her muscles ached, and she took a breath. She had to calm down. This had to stop. Just because it wasn't going as planned, didn't mean he was going to refuse or yell or punch. They weren't in High School anymore, right? They were the grown ups.

"I'm going to need your help and I think Kurt called you because I… couldn't…"

"What do you mean?"

"I never asked you for anything. We were fine by our own, but… I can't do this. I would but…"

He stared at her because he couldn't bring himself to watch the small figure huddled under the sheets on the bed. He had to hear it from her because until now she'd refused his help because she was a strong, driven woman, who'd became the Diva and he… well he was still a Lima Loser. What could she possibly want from him?

"Rachel…", he hissed.

"He's sick, Noah…"

"What?"

"Acute lymphoblastic leukemia… He's dying…"

For a while, he didn't even look at him. He was fascinated with the ground. His fingers roamed in circles against his knuckles while he tried to find something soothing about the motions.

"Chemo stopped working weeks ago. The doctors said we could try stem cell transplantation. But I don't fit and Dad and Daddy either… So I brought him here, going to ask you to get tested…"

"Fuck, Rachel… I'm…"

She'd known Noah Puckerman for 15 years and even though he had been the hero in High School he was as afraid of life as everybody else.

"You have to do this for me or I'll never be able to forgive you!"

"He looks peaceful…", Puck mumbled.

Rachel stared at him.

"Oh he is ready to die…"

Puck looked at her puzzled. She sat across from him. His hair was plastered to his head and she tried to remember the Mohawk, but in her head there were no memories left.

"Why?", he asked.

She gave him a dark, desperate look that tore down every brick he'd managed to pile onto his charade of a wall. He hated seeing her like this. He shouldn't care. He didn't. She had been the one who took away his son. Now she had to figure this one out. The problem was… He did care. About her and his son.

"He's tired…", she simply answered.

He knew it would probably be a mistake asking, but he couldn't bring himself to stop.

"Then why can't you let him go to sleep?"

She looked away, not able to meet his eyes. In the end she was still this selfish girl.

"I'm the one who is not ready to let him die…"

TbC

A/N: Thank you very much for everybody who took the time to leave a Review. I'm flattered. :D