[Commentary] Hey, thanks for the review, Flipspring! I almost left this thing for dead. (pun intended)

Also, I estimate the kid's age to be at the 17-18 age range in this fic. And yes, they are illegally possessing firearms. I understand that it doesn't entirely make sense, a lot of stuff in this story, but hey, it's the god dammed zombie apocalypse.
Oh, and clothing.

John is wearing a green jacket, black shirt with the green slime ghost on it (In other words, his Vriska outfit).

Rose is wearing her Grimdark outfit.

Dave is wearing the broken record shirt.

Jade is wearing her Dead Shuffle outfit


The four kids strolled down the street, towers pressing in from either side, casting shadows across the car-littered street. Oddly enough, though, the street was empty of zombies. John guessed that without the cacophony of two firearms, most zombies did not take notice of their presence. Well, either way, it was an opportune time to talk, and get to know his new friends!

"So, Rose, what brings you to the city?" John asked cheerfully.

Rose explained, rather lengthily, "I was here on business purposes. I had a planned appointment with the owner of a small clothing store. The intention was to sell some unique designs I created. However, the day after I arrived here; the day I was supposed to meet with her, the entire city's population had been infected. I've been trying to survive since. I joined up with Jade after hearing her gunfire."

Jade scanned the street, and finding it satisfactorily zombie-free, continued down the automobile-littered pavement, holding her pistol at the ready. "Say, Dave, John," she begins, "What are you two doing here, and why haven't you two met the same fate as everybody else?"

Dave thought for a second, then replied, "I live here, and John was staying at my place until he got enough money to pay for rent in another condo (He got kicked out of the last one, sorry John, but your private life doesn't mean shit during the fucking end of the world). I always keep a katana handy, so I was set. John just grabbed something from the fucking Janitor's room, and since he is pretty strong, we've been pummeling our way through the shit-pile that is the fucking Zombie apocalypse."

John sighed, "Yeah, we've had it rough, Dave! I almost got bitten too, when we made our grand escape from your apartment building!"

To which Rose added, "I observed one man who transformed. He was not bitten in any way, shape or form. So it is likely that this virus is airborne."

Everybody stopped dead in their tracks.

"You," Dave growled, "Have got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME."

Jade felt her forehead, and John checked his appearance in a car's rear-view mirror.

Jade's voice quivered a bit, "I feel fine… Do you think it could happen at any time?"

Rose replied, "It is possible that one of us may suddenly and without warning turn, at which time we should dispatch that individual. However, it is also possible that we are immune to the virus, in which case we have nothing to fear."

"I guess we'll find out, eventually." Dave pointed out, "By the way, zombie over there."

Some poor zombified sap stumbled towards the group, and before Dave could get his stabs on,

Jade fired her gun, blowing a hole in the zombie's head.

The report from the gun was quickly followed by the hundreds of deranged screams of the undead. Soon, the four kids could hear their fast-approaching feet.

"Shit, Jade, you couldn't have waited for me to kill the fucker?" Dave reprimanded, to which Jade just scoffed, "Oh please Dave," she retorted, "That stick of a blade is useless next to a gun."

Dave grinned, "It's on. Whoever kills the most zombies wins."

Jade smiled back, "It's a bet then."

John screamed, "I hate zombies! I don't want to die!"

Rose just contemplated her knitting needles. If only there was a way to make these things more deadly.

-One gore-filled zombie slaughter later-

Dave flicked his sword once, spraying the film of blood that once rested on the steel onto the ground. Sadly, he couldn't do the same to his clothes, but that was a non-issue, as he was still alive. Rose stalked over to a corpse, and yanked one of her knitting needles out, which was embedded in its eye socket. She wiped the needle off on the zombie's clothing before stowing it away.

John stared sadly at his sledgehammer, which was now broken in three. Sometime during the shit-storm of smashing, cutting, and shooting, the hammer's handle decided to give up the ghost, and snap. John had been forced to fight with half a sledgehammer, and then the hammerhead got stuck in skull, which ended up with John fighting with two wooden sticks. Dave had covered for him, but John had been (and still was) without a weapon.

Rose had stayed behind Jade as she blew holes in undead heads. Rose had thrown a needle into the head of a zombie as it had attempted to grab Jade from behind. Overall, the fighting had been fierce, but as a group, they exhausted the supply of zombies within earshot of Jade's gun.

Jade checked her clip, swearing, "Shit, I only have three bullets left, Dave, how're you holding up?"

Dave held up his katana, which looked a bit warped, "How does it fucking look? I don't think this piece of shit was meant to do this much bad-assery in one day without some fucking maintenance. If this keeps up, I'm screwed."

John held up his sledgehammer, now splintered into two sticks and a hunk of steel. "My hammer," he blubbered, "It's b-broken."

Rose picked up one of the pieces, scrutinized it for a minute, and then handed John one of her needles, saying, "It isn't much, but it'll probably help you more than your damaged hammer."

"Thank you Rose!" John bear-hugged Rose, to her surprise, "I owe you one!"

Dave snorted, "As if it'll help you at all."

Rose managed to pry John off of her, and turned to Dave, "Strider, it is imperative that we reach the gun store soon, otherwise we shall be overrun."

Dave nodded, "I understand. Alright people, let's move out! Jade, try to keep that trigger-finger under control, we can't afford another horde to tear us a new asshole."

Jade mock-saluted Dave, "Yes, sir."

Dave looked at her with what we can only assume to be puzzlement, as the shades obscured his eyes, "'sir'?" he inquired.

"You sounded like some sort of authority figure just now," Jade laughed, "I was just poking fun at you."

Dave sighed, walking away, "Whatever."

As the four kids walked away, a well-dressed man in the alleyway adjusted his stylish hat, and stepped back into the shadows.

-Four blocks over, Downtown-

Dave and Jade picked their way over the prone bodies lying in front of the gun store. A couple of cars were half on the curb, one with its engine idling, and the other sitting dead. Both had bullet holes riddling it's windshield and hood. Rose took note of the wounds, "They're mostly human and died from bullets." And John checked the people in the cars, "Human and dead." He reported. The shop's glass windows looked like swiss cheese, and barely stood.

Then a gunshot rang out from inside the store, and the rear-view mirror of one of the cars next to Rose shattered.

Everyone save for Jade immediately dove for cover. Rose tried to pull Jade behind cover, but John held her back.

Three gunshots rang out.

-Five blocks away-

The well-dressed man previously seen walked into a warehouse, the dim light shining on his black suit, illuminating the small spade-patch on his breast-pocket.

"Let's get a move on, boys," He called out, "I found some little fishes to fry up."

Movement stirred in the shadows. A large, pudgy but muscular man stood up off a chair that seemed too small for him, asking gruffly, "Fish? Good, I'm hungry."

A slightly shorter but still intimidating man next to the larger man smacked the larger man on the head. "Boxcars, you idiot, not real fish. Slick is talking about people to rob."

A small, short man next to the other two excitedly trilled, "Robbing? Oh boy, this is going to be fun!"

Slick walked over to the short man, "Yes it will be Deuce. That it will be." He then gave Deuce a pat on the back, "So what do you say we get going, gentlemen?"

The other two came out of the shadows, Boxcars had a heart patch, and the other man had a Diamond on his suit. "Midnight is coming for those kids." Spades Slick cackled.

-Back at the gun store-

John couldn't look. Oh, why hadn't Jade dived for cover? He'd been tolerating watching undead corpses die (again?) but he didn't think he'd be able to stay sane if he saw someone alive die. A few seconds went by, and no sound of a corpse hitting the floor reached his ears. Instead, he only heard the sound of three metallic objects hitting the floor.

Rose whispered into John's ear, "John, it's okay, you can open your eyes."

John slowly opened his eyes. Jade was still standing! On the sidewalk were three small metal objects. They were the bullets! They'd impacted mid-air, cancelling each others momentum, and fell to the floor!

Jade grinned maniacally, "Oh please, try and shoot me, will you? I'm the best shot you'll ever meet in your life."

A voice came from inside the gun store, by sound, it was probably a guy, slightly older than the kids, "Yeah, I can see that. What I can also see, is that your gun's slide is locked back. You have no more bullets. What's to stop me from shooting you right now?"

Then Dave's voice was heard inside the gun store, "That would be me. Kindly drop the gun before I'm forced to carve your neck into a fucked up chunk of steak."

Shortly after that statement, the clatter of wood and metal against tiling was heard inside as the perp dropped his rifle. Dave called out, "Hey, guys, it's okay to come inside, I got it all under control." Jade pushed open the door, and Rose and John followed inside.

The gun shop's floor was partially covered in broken safety glass, and the gun display cases were shattered. Some of the guns on the walls were taken down, and one of the light fixtures was dangling by a few cords. Dave had a slightly older man backed up against the counter with a sword to his neck. The man had ungroomed black hair, like John, was wearing a green jacket, and a white shirt with a skull on it. He also had glasses, and was staring with something akin to hatred and Dave. Dave just gave the man a blank look.

John, Rose, and Jade briefly wondered how Dave had gotten into the store so quickly, but the girls attributed it to his speed, and John knew just how ninja Dave could be.

"Jake!" John started, "What are you doing here?"

The man (named Jake) did a double take at John, "John? I could ask you the same thing!"

"Wait a second." Jade growled, "You two know each other?"

John nodded, "Yep. Jade, meet Jake English. He's my neighbor."

"Are you sure this isn't his look-alike twin Egbert?" Dave asked, a bit miffed.

"No, it's him." John clarified. "So can you lower your sword, please, he could get hurt."

Dave grudgingly obliged, and Jake rubbed his neck protectively, "Who're your friends, John?" Jake inquired. "Oh," John began, "This is Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, and Jade Harley, whom you shot at."

Jade extended her hand, face deadly serious, "A pleasure to meet you." Jake accepted the gesture, "The pleasure is all mine. It's nice to meet someone who's so goddamn good with a gun." Jake turned to the door leading into the back of the shop and yelled, "Jane! It's okay to come out, they're friends!"

A woman about the same age of Jake pushed open the door slowly, and shyly poked out her head. "Friends?" She stammered. She clutched a small derringer in her hands. "Yes Jane," Jake confirmed, "genuine friends. Or at least one friend, and his straight-up insane friends."

Jane sighed in relief, holstering her small gun, "Goodness, I thought you were gonna be killed Jake! Then what would I do?" Jake shrugged in response.

"Wait who's this?" Dave asked.

"This," Jake explained, "is Jane Crocker. She's a family friend."

"Jane Crocker. As in Crocker. As in BETTY FUCKING CROCKER?" John tensed up, his voice carrying an almost crushing weight.

"Um, yes, why?" Jane answered almost obliviously.

Before anyone could do anything else, shots tore through remainder of the storefront, causing everyone to dive for cover, and Jake to dive for his gun.


Thanks for reading this chapter! Hopy shit the update. I'm trying to wrap my head around the speaking styles of Jake and Jane.