A/N: I am glad you all enjoyed the first chapter. Oh, and no Surfrider this is not the sequel to Out of the Woods. The sequel of Out Of The Woods will be So Far Away. Thank you for the reviews. Hang on, it's going to be a wild ride! :)
Nicholas Cabot stood silent in his home office. Captain Cragen and Detective Stabler stood on the opposite side of the desk from him. They'd just informed him of his wife Alexandra and son Nicholas's deaths. The man was eerily quiet and unnaturally calm.
"So," he spoke, "She went to the Federal Building tonight to be informed she had a death threat against her?"
"That's correct," Cragen confirmed.
"And while there, she got into a car that had a bomb in it? And it blew up, with her and my son in it?" He questioned while holding his crystal tumbler of whisky tight in his hand.
Elliot took a breath, and replied, "Yes sir, that's correct." He was ready for this man to crack and show some emotion, he was beginning to feel like he was more upset than him.
As if his wish was a command, Nicholas Cabot hurdled the crystal tumbler across the room. It smashed all over his family portrait of him, Alex and Nicky. The rage running through the man was ever present as his face turned red and his neck veins bulged. He screamed, "That fucking bitch!" as he swiped everything, computer and all, from his desk in a fit of rage before kicking his chair across the room.
Elliot and Cragen took a step back, Elliot's hand instinctively going to his side weapon. Noticing Elliot's movements, Cragen waved him off. Speaking in a calm voice, the Captain asked, "Nicholas, is there anyone you would like us to call?"
Turning fast on his heel, Nicholas turned to face the two men. The anger and fury in his eyes was frightening. Elliot suddenly began to wonder just what went on in his late friends home that he didn't know about. He began to wonder if some of Alex's reactions and coldness in the courtroom may have stemmed from her home life. He suddenly felt very sick for never having noticed.
"No, you can't call anyone. I should have known the worthless bitch wasn't strong enough to protect him. I should have taken him away from her. She always babied him to much, and now look what that got me! A dead son! My namesake is dead because of that worthless bitch." Nicholas spat, his anger and hatred so thick it made the Captain and Detective sickly uncomfortable. "You two can leave. Thank you for informing me of my worthless wife's death and my son's."
Walking away from the office, Cragen and Elliot exited the house as fast as possible. As they climbed into the cruiser to head back to the precinct, Cragen spoke, "It's a true statement, you never know what goes on behind closed doors."
"I can't believe I am saying this, but Alex and Nicky might be better off," Elliot replied in a sad whisper as they pulled away from Alexandra Cabot's home. "How could she live like that?"
"We will never know Elliot, we never will."
Liz Donnelly walked down the hall of the District Attorney's office. She wasn't surprised to see the young ADA's light still on, Casey was known for working late hours. The last steps to the office passed far to quickly for the older blonde's liking. She'd always felt far to responsible for causing the strong willed redhead the pain she did, and now she was about to deliver news that would forever crush the redhead. She was about to break all hope for her. She knew Casey hadn't dated since Alexandra and it pained her to know just how deeply this girl loves her daughter and that she'd robbed them both of a happy future. The thought alone was enough to cause Liz to break at the sight of Casey.
With tears streaming down her cheeks, Liz managed to say shakily, "Casey."
Snapping her head up, Casey's eyes met Liz's tear filled ones. "Oh my god, Liz! What's wrong?" Casey asked rounding the desk in no time at all.
"Alex is gone." Liz managed as Casey led the older blonde to the couch.
The realization wasn't setting in for Casey, or maybe it was innocent denial that would soon be forever robbed from her. "Liz, I don't understand."
As realization set in that she'd never see her daughter or grandson again, and memories of them flooded her head, Liz found it impossible to talk. She just pointed to the television in Casey's office. Confused, the redhead turned it on to the news channel to discover her worst nightmare.
The news headline read, 'ADA Alexandra Cabot and son, Nicholas Cabot III, were killed by car-bomb tonight outside the Federal Building.'
Casey suddenly felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. Without knowing how, she was suddenly on her knees, her face pressed against the cold floor as she screamed, tears falling from her eyes. The guilt that coursed through her veins, the knowing that of she'd just made Alex stay with her she could have saved her. She could have kept them safe. She could have kept them from him, she should have protected them.
She felt Liz's arms around her. Nothing could stop the pain that coursed through her veins, through her soul. She'd never have the chance to fix the mess that was the falling out of their relationship. She'd never have the chance to see her Lexie again. All she could do was hold onto Liz and cry.
Her Lexie Donnelly was gone...
One Week Later...
Casey sat inappropriately dressed for the October funeral. A chill had already entered the air, and the misty air didn't help. Yet, here she sat in a simple black dress and thin green cardigan, Lexie's favorite color, and a simple pair of black heels. Her legs looked painfully pale in the darkness of the day, and her eyes shone a teary green.
She felt immensely alone despite having her brother Owen on her left side and her best friend Kim Greylek on the other. Casey felt hollow, she felt empty, she felt like she needed to be in a coffin next to Lexie and Nicky's. She was so deep in her own dark thoughts that she didn't even register the priests words. She just wanted to die.
How had things exactly fallen apart? Lexie had graduated. She moved back to Manhattan, met Nicholas, and come back and broken up with Casey, without much of an argument. Casey had thought it would be a fleeting thing, that Lex would come to her senses, but she didn't.
When Casey had come home for Christmas she'd bumped into Lex in the grocery store with her mother. She'd noticed the ring on Lexie's finger, she'd listened to how they were in love and getting married. Out of spite, Casey had told her, 'He's a monster Alexandra. He will break you down and break your soul.'
She'd been cold to the blonde. She'd never called her 'Lexie' again. It was a name she'd given Alex out of love and she refused to let her have any more of her love. She was selfish and driven by wanting fame and recognition. It's why she'd married Nicholas Cabot. He was an enormously wealthy heir to one of the biggest corporations in New York state, her father had served as his lead accountant for years. It was how Alex met Nicholas. It was the knife that tore at Casey's soul.
She felt flooding guilt. She should have forced Lexie to sit down. She should have told her all the awful things she knew about the man. She should have done something to save her. Instead she let her stay, part of her wanted to feel the same pain she'd inflicted on Casey. She wanted her to know her mistake. She'd forever be sorry.
She wished she could fix everything. She wished she could return to that night and beg Lexie to give her a minute, she wished she could tell her she didn't need to apologize because she'd never stopped loving her. Maybe she'd still be alive. Maybe Lex's little boy would still be alive.
Feeling Owen pull her into a tight hug she realized she was crying. She didn't want to be alive. She wanted to hurt, she wanted to die. Her guilt was suffocating her.
She'd never be the same. She'd never love again. Lex had taken her soul with her. It was always hers anyway.
