The Other Side 402
It had been a long day and Jack was exhausted – he wanted only to go home, have a hot shower and get in bed.
After SG-1's debrief he had a long chat with Hammond explaining his disgust at the tunnel vision that almost led to them aiding a society hell bent on exterminating the 'others' on their planet. Before traveling to Euronda O'Neill had been given authority by the Joint Chiefs to negotiate with the advanced race for weapons to fight in their war against the Goa'uld. And he was truly ready for 'Mission Accomplished'. In a desire to fulfill his standing orders Jack nearly lost sight of what was truly essential. He nearly exchanged his values for their tainted advanced technology. This exchange he could not stomach.
These 'racially pure' Eurondans were committing genocide on the rest of their world's population and he had actually helped them before he realized the truth. And he had ignored, then embarrassed and demeaned Daniel. Daniel's probing mind had glimpsed the truth before it penetrated O'Neill's thick skull.
He brought it all down on the Eurondans' heads, quite literally and was sure he'd see some repercussions from that. He pointedly told Alar not to follow him, Alar knew of their iris and knew what had happened to the three men who first tried to come to the SGC. Jack was not heartless, he could still hear the man pleading "Wait, wait, I can teach you everything I know. Let me come with you. Please."
Jack could not abide the thought of that man on Earth. The NID, especially Col. Simmons and Kennedy, would have wined and dined him, eager to gather every detail of Eurondan technology, while Alar touted his theories of racial purity. It was too insidious, too damned dangerous.
Jack felt no remorse, only dismay at Carter's reaction – she was too soft. No, that wasn't it. She would be disappointed or perhaps disgusted at his ability to treat life so cheaply. She was still smarting from the Eurondans who, on her watch, were killed against the iris in their bid to gain help. It wasn't just Alar Jack wanted to destroy – it was everything Alar believed in. So be it. Those things Alar represented Jack would not let that infect Earth again.
Had she forgotten who he was? Who he had defined himself as – a warrior - not afraid to kill. When death was to be doled out he did not shrink from it.
But was this murder?
He warned Alar. He told him not to follow. Alar knew the men he had sent to Earth died against the iris. He knew. He followed Jack. He died.
She didn't think Jack enjoyed killing. He wasn't that kind of man. He had told her each time you take a life it destroyed a piece of your soul.
He wasn't killing for killings sake. When it was necessary he took that burden on himself. He was protecting the planet from a noxious infection. One that tore the world apart not sixty years ago. He could not let that happen again.
Jack drove home with a blazing headache, concerned it might have something to do with the Eurondan targeting weapon. As his headache throbbed behind his left eye his mind kept flitting back to the zombified fellow who sat in the targeting chair beside him. It scared the crap out of him. He wanted only to made his way in the dark straight to his bedroom.
She sat there waiting for him, conflicted about what he did and yet proud of the courage it took. So few men would have the guts to slam the door in Alar's face, to not salivate over the gifts he offered though they dripped with the blood of his countrymen. Jack made that decision, followed through and didn't look back. He must have seen the pain in her eyes at the seemingly casual termination of a human life. But he asked for no forgiveness – understanding perhaps, but he didn't grovel or line up excuses.
What would the brass at the Pentagon say? Would they understand or look at it as a failure to accomplish his standing orders?
She needed at least to let him know where she stood. If they were at the base the "Yes Sir" would be expected even if "Fuck you" and utter contempt was in her heart. Here in his house he would know she was utterly honest.
He drove home and intended to make his way to a painkiller and off to bed. Carter was there right on his front step. He hadn't seen her ride and wondered what the hell she was doing here. He pursed his lips, glanced in her direction but didn't want this discussion. He didn't want to see the accusations and disappointment in her eyes. He had spent enough time considering his many failures he didn't need any help or worse yet her disapproval. He walked past her, opened the front door went in and gave her a chance to change her mind and retreat on home. But she followed him on in.
He turned and she was standing right there.
"I didn't expect to see you here tonight. I'm..."
"You don't have to say anything, Sir. I think I understand. I didn't like it but I couldn't see any other viable options either."
She reached out and touched his arm while she spoke. He felt relieved of the weight he didn't realize he was carrying. She hadn't forgiven him for his failings but she understood him.
With a nod of her head she turned and left.
If she had been utterly honest with all she thought and all she felt, they would be in a world of trouble and perhaps in his bed. There were some things she had to hold hidden in her heart but her understanding of him as an officer and a man of courage, this she needed him to know.
